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fandom_radio2007-08-17 03:19 am
scrabblecyborg.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2007-08-17 03:19 am
Fandom Radio [Thursday, August 16]
" -- oh my God, this place is probably crawling with infectious diseases. I could catch something just by sitting in here and -- what? Go away, little squirrels, I don't want rabies and I'll Windex you! Don't think I won't! Wait, why are you pointing at the mics? You...want me to read the news? Um. Okay.
*several moments of spritzing noises, followed by wiping*
Is this thing on? Okay. Um. This is Hannelore Ellicott-Chatham, and I guess I'm here to do the news tonight. I'm not really sure what happened to the two kids who were here last week. I just came in because Winslow wanted me to get the nice Vala lady's autograph for him and he was all insistent that she has Thursdays and I said, 'No, Winslow, Thursday is when I count all day, and Saturday is when I vacuum four times, and I know I always listen to her right after vacuuming,' and he was all insistent that it's Thursdays and ha, Winslow, you were wrong and I hope you're happy that I'm stuck doing this now.
School, which is probably full of dust mites
First off, that evil bitch who threatened my AnthroMac -- seriously, those of you guys who don't know Winslow? He's a cute little robot. That sadistic, horrible twatmuffin threatened to turn him into scrap. God. Who does that? Anyway, her PA system isn't working for some reason. Aw, darn. Sad. Anyway, she went ahead and held office hours anyway. Seely, Aly, Gavin, Anakin and Faile all went to see her and have their little, harmless -- sorry, Winslow, um, I mean...really ferocious -- robots threatened by her.
In the library, which I'm trying not to think about because holy crap, how many people touch those dusty, gross books every day? I mean, people take those home. Just think -- they could be reading them in the bathroom. Ughhhhhhh. Um, anyway, Bridge opened it and was bouncy for some reason. Maybe he's sick from all the dust. And over in the construction, which is just safer for everyone if I pretend said 'seminar about wet-naps,' Xander had Bel and Stark using a sander and concrete saw. And, um, by 'sander and concrete saw,' I mean 'Swiffer and industrial-grde air fresheners.'
In How to Be Awesome, Barney taught everyone how to gamble. Ew. Communal cards. Or worse, dice. People blow on those. Ew ew ew. Anyway, everyone played and then recapped the class, and Willow explained the odds of the game to Barney. Mmm, math.
The class with the shooting learned about ambushes. Savannah told Anders that that giant, toad-faced whore cast a spell or whatever on her. Savannah, this is why you run away. God, people. Charlie was glad to see that Dean is a human again, and I'm not even sure what that means so I'm moving on. John made the shooting range up to look like that old bag's office and let the kids loose. Oooh.
Fligh and Flying wore weird hats while flying helicopters. Anemone learned a song from Rikku, I guess, and Rory amused Anakin.
In History of Witchcraft, Phoebe told the kids not to visit the evil sack of crap currently sitting in the principal's office. She canceled class in favor of a picnic -- LIKE WITH ANTS AND DIRT? EW EW EW EW. Ew. Um. Adam and Eve ran into each other and I really hope not literally because that's a good way to pass germs. Anders broke that stupid rule about talking to teachers by hanging out with Phoebe, and, um, if you guys want to break that rule, you can all talk to me as long as you're a safe distance away okay?
In Practical Applications, the kids worked on their go karts. The e. coli breeding ground -- sorry, cafeteria -- had...something with snakes. I don't want to know. At all.
Dorms, where so help me if you guys are contracting UTIs and chlamydia in each other's crab-ridden beds
Claire worked on an email and talked to River about feeling like they should be doing something. Like...other than working on email? Clean your rooms. There's a something to be doing. I'll give you stuff! I have disinfectants! Sam came to visit Claire, too, and so did Jenny.
Neil finally found some astringent or whatever, which is a ton more than even normal people need to know, let alone me. But then again, there's John, who woke up in Andrew's room all...naked. Wow. Just...wow. Marie turned little, or something, and Anders had a killer hangover. Aww, poor guy. Meanwhile, Seely told Aravis all about his visit with the ugly, stupid old bat, and...what? Animal turned into a half-naked human? Oh, please, God, if you're real, make it stick until Tuesday. And make sure he's not a paste-eating human or anything and will be cool with wearing latex gloves like the others.
Anyway, Savannah is a cat and I have no idea. She pawed at her phone cord. Go her? Willow had knock-knock issues, and Sam and Dawn talked about their days.
Johnny made notes in his room, and the other Johnny returned a jacket, and now I'm confused and also ew don't share clothes. And Rikku and Jude are kinda cute about their anniversary, awwwww. Make sure to take a lot of showers, guys.
In the third floor common room, Mel was lazy, River was philosophical and Robin was sleepy.
Meanwhile in the fifth floor common room, Anders and Ronan made cupcakes and then Eve dropped in. I hope you all washed your hands in scalding water with antibacterial soap and wore gloves. I don't think you did, though.
Town, which is probably swarming with mosquitoes just waiting to give us all malaria
Sokka opened the post office and was visited by Animal -- again with the human thing -- came by. Leo opened the Photo Hut and Millie opened Book Haven and was visited by Stanley. Naminé opened Café Fina and was flirted with by Animal. That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Sokka joined Animal and they convinced Naminé to get them drunk or something.
Yitzhak opened Luke's, Charlie opened Groovy Tunes, where she was visited by Jeff and a kitty. And then there was a Steve Guttenberg marathon at the movie theater. Why? I mean...why?
Mary, who is also a kitty, got skritches at the hotel. Is that some kind of disease I haven't heard of? Is it like hoof and mouth disease? Or avian flu? one of the Johns channel-surfed, and the belittled Rogue or Marie or whatever her name is -- these notes are really disorganized, you guys should fix that, and I meant what I said about the Windex, Mr. Squirrel, so you better put that nut down. Anyway, she went to see Aziraphale and Dr. Wilson. Also, Roy got an eye.
...what? Like...in the mail? Oh my God.
In Caritas, Phoebe offered half-priced drinks to kids who'd talk to her. Then she and Bel broke some rules, then she talked to Eve about revenge and...with Anders about her hotness. Wow. Yay, confidence, I guess. Wish I could do that.
Bel discussed Anders' bender with him, and Johnny Storm talked to Phoebe about Summer and Savannah. Robin chatted with Phoebe, then with Johnny and hoped for PDA. Ew. Then Robin, Phoebe, Anders and Phoebe again sang.
Over in the Devil's Nest, Lucifer had some wine and talked to a five year-old Marie. I'd drink too. I hate children. God.
And in the clinic, everything was quiet. Good, that means no one got sick, hopefully, unless they're all breeding their infections in their rooms right now and just waiting to come along and sneeze on me.
And that's it! I'm done! I'm free! Winslow, turn on the Roomba before I get there and see if you can find a sanitized HazMat suit. I think I'm going to clean the ceiling tonight. Bye, everyone!"
*several moments of spritzing noises, followed by wiping*
Is this thing on? Okay. Um. This is Hannelore Ellicott-Chatham, and I guess I'm here to do the news tonight. I'm not really sure what happened to the two kids who were here last week. I just came in because Winslow wanted me to get the nice Vala lady's autograph for him and he was all insistent that she has Thursdays and I said, 'No, Winslow, Thursday is when I count all day, and Saturday is when I vacuum four times, and I know I always listen to her right after vacuuming,' and he was all insistent that it's Thursdays and ha, Winslow, you were wrong and I hope you're happy that I'm stuck doing this now.
School, which is probably full of dust mites
First off, that evil bitch who threatened my AnthroMac -- seriously, those of you guys who don't know Winslow? He's a cute little robot. That sadistic, horrible twatmuffin threatened to turn him into scrap. God. Who does that? Anyway, her PA system isn't working for some reason. Aw, darn. Sad. Anyway, she went ahead and held office hours anyway. Seely, Aly, Gavin, Anakin and Faile all went to see her and have their little, harmless -- sorry, Winslow, um, I mean...really ferocious -- robots threatened by her.
In the library, which I'm trying not to think about because holy crap, how many people touch those dusty, gross books every day? I mean, people take those home. Just think -- they could be reading them in the bathroom. Ughhhhhhh. Um, anyway, Bridge opened it and was bouncy for some reason. Maybe he's sick from all the dust. And over in the construction, which is just safer for everyone if I pretend said 'seminar about wet-naps,' Xander had Bel and Stark using a sander and concrete saw. And, um, by 'sander and concrete saw,' I mean 'Swiffer and industrial-grde air fresheners.'
In How to Be Awesome, Barney taught everyone how to gamble. Ew. Communal cards. Or worse, dice. People blow on those. Ew ew ew. Anyway, everyone played and then recapped the class, and Willow explained the odds of the game to Barney. Mmm, math.
The class with the shooting learned about ambushes. Savannah told Anders that that giant, toad-faced whore cast a spell or whatever on her. Savannah, this is why you run away. God, people. Charlie was glad to see that Dean is a human again, and I'm not even sure what that means so I'm moving on. John made the shooting range up to look like that old bag's office and let the kids loose. Oooh.
Fligh and Flying wore weird hats while flying helicopters. Anemone learned a song from Rikku, I guess, and Rory amused Anakin.
In History of Witchcraft, Phoebe told the kids not to visit the evil sack of crap currently sitting in the principal's office. She canceled class in favor of a picnic -- LIKE WITH ANTS AND DIRT? EW EW EW EW. Ew. Um. Adam and Eve ran into each other and I really hope not literally because that's a good way to pass germs. Anders broke that stupid rule about talking to teachers by hanging out with Phoebe, and, um, if you guys want to break that rule, you can all talk to me as long as you're a safe distance away okay?
In Practical Applications, the kids worked on their go karts. The e. coli breeding ground -- sorry, cafeteria -- had...something with snakes. I don't want to know. At all.
Dorms, where so help me if you guys are contracting UTIs and chlamydia in each other's crab-ridden beds
Claire worked on an email and talked to River about feeling like they should be doing something. Like...other than working on email? Clean your rooms. There's a something to be doing. I'll give you stuff! I have disinfectants! Sam came to visit Claire, too, and so did Jenny.
Neil finally found some astringent or whatever, which is a ton more than even normal people need to know, let alone me. But then again, there's John, who woke up in Andrew's room all...naked. Wow. Just...wow. Marie turned little, or something, and Anders had a killer hangover. Aww, poor guy. Meanwhile, Seely told Aravis all about his visit with the ugly, stupid old bat, and...what? Animal turned into a half-naked human? Oh, please, God, if you're real, make it stick until Tuesday. And make sure he's not a paste-eating human or anything and will be cool with wearing latex gloves like the others.
Anyway, Savannah is a cat and I have no idea. She pawed at her phone cord. Go her? Willow had knock-knock issues, and Sam and Dawn talked about their days.
Johnny made notes in his room, and the other Johnny returned a jacket, and now I'm confused and also ew don't share clothes. And Rikku and Jude are kinda cute about their anniversary, awwwww. Make sure to take a lot of showers, guys.
In the third floor common room, Mel was lazy, River was philosophical and Robin was sleepy.
Meanwhile in the fifth floor common room, Anders and Ronan made cupcakes and then Eve dropped in. I hope you all washed your hands in scalding water with antibacterial soap and wore gloves. I don't think you did, though.
Town, which is probably swarming with mosquitoes just waiting to give us all malaria
Sokka opened the post office and was visited by Animal -- again with the human thing -- came by. Leo opened the Photo Hut and Millie opened Book Haven and was visited by Stanley. Naminé opened Café Fina and was flirted with by Animal. That's the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Sokka joined Animal and they convinced Naminé to get them drunk or something.
Yitzhak opened Luke's, Charlie opened Groovy Tunes, where she was visited by Jeff and a kitty. And then there was a Steve Guttenberg marathon at the movie theater. Why? I mean...why?
Mary, who is also a kitty, got skritches at the hotel. Is that some kind of disease I haven't heard of? Is it like hoof and mouth disease? Or avian flu? one of the Johns channel-surfed, and the belittled Rogue or Marie or whatever her name is -- these notes are really disorganized, you guys should fix that, and I meant what I said about the Windex, Mr. Squirrel, so you better put that nut down. Anyway, she went to see Aziraphale and Dr. Wilson. Also, Roy got an eye.
...what? Like...in the mail? Oh my God.
In Caritas, Phoebe offered half-priced drinks to kids who'd talk to her. Then she and Bel broke some rules, then she talked to Eve about revenge and...with Anders about her hotness. Wow. Yay, confidence, I guess. Wish I could do that.
Bel discussed Anders' bender with him, and Johnny Storm talked to Phoebe about Summer and Savannah. Robin chatted with Phoebe, then with Johnny and hoped for PDA. Ew. Then Robin, Phoebe, Anders and Phoebe again sang.
Over in the Devil's Nest, Lucifer had some wine and talked to a five year-old Marie. I'd drink too. I hate children. God.
And in the clinic, everything was quiet. Good, that means no one got sick, hopefully, unless they're all breeding their infections in their rooms right now and just waiting to come along and sneeze on me.
And that's it! I'm done! I'm free! Winslow, turn on the Roomba before I get there and see if you can find a sanitized HazMat suit. I think I'm going to clean the ceiling tonight. Bye, everyone!"
no subject
[Heeee.]