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fandom_radio2015-05-21 05:39 am
geniuswithasmartphone) wrote in fandom_radio2015-05-21 05:39 am
Entry tags:
Fandom Radio, Thursday, May 21st
Look, I think it's cute how y'all think this is a thing now, but I'm here to break it to you: it ain't. This ain't no regular, Thursday mornin' thing we got goin' on here. Third time is the last time, you hear me. If I catch y'all in my house next week, Luke's gonna have a fricassee squirrel special, see if it won't.
Don't look at me like that. I ain't kiddin'. I bet Megabyte would love to go squirrel huntin'. An' it's fine. Don't start none, won't be none an' I can enjoy a nice, restful Thursday mornin' preparin' for class.
Which brings us to School, where it was once again, Beat Down Wednesday. In Pointy End Away From You, the Dean of Students an' his co-teacher decided it would be fun to teach the students about the ins an' outs of a bar fight. You ain't careful, there'll be a lotta holes for your insides to become outsides, so this might not be as terrible a class idea as it sounds. After a lecture, which I'm kinda fascinated to hear about, the students got to whale on a buncha aliens just tryna have a drink in the bar. An' I see from this note, my TA an' my partners' TA were very enthusiastic participants in this. Somehow I ain't surprised. Movin' on to Tactics an' Teamwork, taught by the warm an' fuzzy Agent Washington, the kids learned to dodge by fightin' one another with our good buddy Agent Dubya attackin' both sides. Aww. See how involved he likes to be? It's really movin'. After splittin' up into teams, they all spread out an' got shot at by their teacher. Heart-warmin'.
*Chittering*
What?
*Annoyed chittering*
I still don't speak rodent, but I'm pretty sure the squirrels want me to point out that Agent Dubya is shootin' at the students with paintball guns an' the bar fight was in the Danger Shop, so if there are any concerned parents listenin', don't worry. At Fandom High, we use only the best simulated violence. Except in Phys Ed, where Ghanima had the students playin' Dodgeball, or, as I remember it, DeathMurderBall 1999. There was a lecture for anyone who ain't already been traumatized by this so-called sport before today, an' then kids got to play, an' I'm sure they were all fine an' rules-abidin' an' no one ran home cryin' with a busted nose bleedin' all over their favorite shirt they'd just gotten for their birthday or nothin' like that. After class was over, uh, Hanna stayed to work through some things with the punchin' bags.
Okaaay then.
Now we get to move over to Dorms, where I once again pray to baby Jesus an' all his little angels that I ain't gonna have to recap nothin' meant to be private in the lives of teenagers, some of whom are my students, amen. We got Dipper who was workin' out in the gym an'--you know, it don't matter how well he was or was not doin'. The important thing was that he was there an' let's just focus on that than, say, any actual results. Thorin was wonderin' if there was anything wrong with the weight machine Dipper was usin' an' then they introduced themselves. I'mma say, yes, yes there was somethin' wrong with the machines, which was why Dipper was havin' trouble with it. Got your back, little man. Kathy also recognized Thorin from class an' they did introductions as well an' wasn't that the purpose of class like two weeks ago? You ain't got it outta your systems yet? Well, considerin' their conversations then moved on to car crashes an' explodin' horses, I'd like to retract my previous comment an' ask y'all to go back to introducin' yourselves an' maybe then the conversation there. Jalian also recognized Thorin from class, but they managed to limit themselves to talk about weaponry an' blacksmithing. A'ight then, these are all very normal high school conversations. Despite bein' in every class today, Kathy apparently didn't get enough exercise in, so came to the gym after lunch to work on a routine an' talk to Dipper about Ratman comics an' free food. See? Finally! A conversation I can get behind! Jalian talked to Kathy about acrobatics an' then asks Dipper if that's his name or occupation. Jalian, girl, you know I think you're awesome, but you got too much glass house to be throwin' stones at anyone with an unusual name. Not sayin', just sayin'. In non-gym news, Ronan woke up feelin' terrible with a gemstone in his hand. Usually if you're wakin' up with gemstones, you had a good night, but to each their own. Unless you're sleep-thievin' in which case--naw, actually, still kinda impressed.
Parker, no.
In spite of my concern about my last note there bein' about someone's bedroom, we've successfully gotten to Town where I ain't feel half as skeevy reportin' news about my fellow adults. At Hannibal's house, Jono is online tryna figure out what to do with...pillow...tree...pillows. A'ight, I don't know which one of you drunk squirrels wrote this note, but there ain't no such thing as a pillow-tree. Except as I'm readin' this note, it does have Hannibal talkin' to Jono about how to dye pillows that ain't quite ripe yet an' I think I need a drink now.
*Smug chittering.*
Seriously? Seriously? Aww for the love of--FINE. *deadpans* I would like to extend my sincerest regrets to the squirrel whose journalistic integrity I insulted when I said the note was incorrect an' assumed they were drunk at the time. Apparently pillow trees are a thing that really exist an' I shouldn't have doubted. Now gimme that rum!
*Sounds of a struggle*
Whatever you damn rodents! I didn't wanna drink after y'all anyway! You nasty! Nasty! So there are two more notes an' I'mma finish 'em an' go home an' drink my own alcohol. Cosima was at Stark Industries, workin' on some kind of diabolical brainteaser. Good job not just askin' the AI for answers, Cosima, I'm proud of you. An' Kenzi was at Luke's where she'd apparently struck some kind of deal with Parker. Wait. What deal? No way, I need more information than this! The island needs more information that this! Dammit, squirrel, come back here I need to ask you--!
*The sound of a door slamming and then dead air*
Don't look at me like that. I ain't kiddin'. I bet Megabyte would love to go squirrel huntin'. An' it's fine. Don't start none, won't be none an' I can enjoy a nice, restful Thursday mornin' preparin' for class.
Which brings us to School, where it was once again, Beat Down Wednesday. In Pointy End Away From You, the Dean of Students an' his co-teacher decided it would be fun to teach the students about the ins an' outs of a bar fight. You ain't careful, there'll be a lotta holes for your insides to become outsides, so this might not be as terrible a class idea as it sounds. After a lecture, which I'm kinda fascinated to hear about, the students got to whale on a buncha aliens just tryna have a drink in the bar. An' I see from this note, my TA an' my partners' TA were very enthusiastic participants in this. Somehow I ain't surprised. Movin' on to Tactics an' Teamwork, taught by the warm an' fuzzy Agent Washington, the kids learned to dodge by fightin' one another with our good buddy Agent Dubya attackin' both sides. Aww. See how involved he likes to be? It's really movin'. After splittin' up into teams, they all spread out an' got shot at by their teacher. Heart-warmin'.
*Chittering*
What?
*Annoyed chittering*
I still don't speak rodent, but I'm pretty sure the squirrels want me to point out that Agent Dubya is shootin' at the students with paintball guns an' the bar fight was in the Danger Shop, so if there are any concerned parents listenin', don't worry. At Fandom High, we use only the best simulated violence. Except in Phys Ed, where Ghanima had the students playin' Dodgeball, or, as I remember it, DeathMurderBall 1999. There was a lecture for anyone who ain't already been traumatized by this so-called sport before today, an' then kids got to play, an' I'm sure they were all fine an' rules-abidin' an' no one ran home cryin' with a busted nose bleedin' all over their favorite shirt they'd just gotten for their birthday or nothin' like that. After class was over, uh, Hanna stayed to work through some things with the punchin' bags.
Okaaay then.
Now we get to move over to Dorms, where I once again pray to baby Jesus an' all his little angels that I ain't gonna have to recap nothin' meant to be private in the lives of teenagers, some of whom are my students, amen. We got Dipper who was workin' out in the gym an'--you know, it don't matter how well he was or was not doin'. The important thing was that he was there an' let's just focus on that than, say, any actual results. Thorin was wonderin' if there was anything wrong with the weight machine Dipper was usin' an' then they introduced themselves. I'mma say, yes, yes there was somethin' wrong with the machines, which was why Dipper was havin' trouble with it. Got your back, little man. Kathy also recognized Thorin from class an' they did introductions as well an' wasn't that the purpose of class like two weeks ago? You ain't got it outta your systems yet? Well, considerin' their conversations then moved on to car crashes an' explodin' horses, I'd like to retract my previous comment an' ask y'all to go back to introducin' yourselves an' maybe then the conversation there. Jalian also recognized Thorin from class, but they managed to limit themselves to talk about weaponry an' blacksmithing. A'ight then, these are all very normal high school conversations. Despite bein' in every class today, Kathy apparently didn't get enough exercise in, so came to the gym after lunch to work on a routine an' talk to Dipper about Ratman comics an' free food. See? Finally! A conversation I can get behind! Jalian talked to Kathy about acrobatics an' then asks Dipper if that's his name or occupation. Jalian, girl, you know I think you're awesome, but you got too much glass house to be throwin' stones at anyone with an unusual name. Not sayin', just sayin'. In non-gym news, Ronan woke up feelin' terrible with a gemstone in his hand. Usually if you're wakin' up with gemstones, you had a good night, but to each their own. Unless you're sleep-thievin' in which case--naw, actually, still kinda impressed.
Parker, no.
In spite of my concern about my last note there bein' about someone's bedroom, we've successfully gotten to Town where I ain't feel half as skeevy reportin' news about my fellow adults. At Hannibal's house, Jono is online tryna figure out what to do with...pillow...tree...pillows. A'ight, I don't know which one of you drunk squirrels wrote this note, but there ain't no such thing as a pillow-tree. Except as I'm readin' this note, it does have Hannibal talkin' to Jono about how to dye pillows that ain't quite ripe yet an' I think I need a drink now.
*Smug chittering.*
Seriously? Seriously? Aww for the love of--FINE. *deadpans* I would like to extend my sincerest regrets to the squirrel whose journalistic integrity I insulted when I said the note was incorrect an' assumed they were drunk at the time. Apparently pillow trees are a thing that really exist an' I shouldn't have doubted. Now gimme that rum!
*Sounds of a struggle*
Whatever you damn rodents! I didn't wanna drink after y'all anyway! You nasty! Nasty! So there are two more notes an' I'mma finish 'em an' go home an' drink my own alcohol. Cosima was at Stark Industries, workin' on some kind of diabolical brainteaser. Good job not just askin' the AI for answers, Cosima, I'm proud of you. An' Kenzi was at Luke's where she'd apparently struck some kind of deal with Parker. Wait. What deal? No way, I need more information than this! The island needs more information that this! Dammit, squirrel, come back here I need to ask you--!
*The sound of a door slamming and then dead air*