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fandom_radio2014-02-02 10:36 am
usedtowhizz.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2014-02-02 10:36 am
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Fandom Radio, Sunday, February 2nd
So, the thing about this whole relationship here with me and you, the listener, is that I learn stuff from the squirrels, then I tell you about them in my way. Well, I don't need the squirrels for something here.
Top Story: women in this town are nuts. And before anyone starts accusing me of being misogynistic for saying that, I want to make it completely clear that I fear for my life from these absinthe-swishing, leech-carrying, death-eyed, Cheryl Tunty women and honestly think that they need five shrinks each. Derek, please put more locks on my door, okay, buddy?
Mindy and Sarah? I'm sorry I wasn't nicer so I could latch onto you like a freaking lamprey before I met some of these chicks.
And now the rest of your news!
School
Cassidy was in the library and literally nothing happened. No, seriously, the notes say it was 'calm, peaceful, event-free.' That's not news, that's a person and a place. I'm going to say that she was negotiating a drug deal.
Dorms
Cassidy's drug cartel had a massive war with let's say Anya's, since I never wrote her name on the board a couple weeks ago for stealing my speed. Oh, hey, she's a speed kingpin, that works. So yeah, they went to war and who knows who'll have the drug empire when all is said and done?
In other words, nothing happened. Have one speed dating thing in town and suddenly nobody will do anything in their dorms. Unless they went ahead and did things in the dorms after the dates. I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have notes on that, though, otherwise Chris Hansen would be in the other room waiting to talk to some squirrels.
Town
Some creepy guy walked into Stark's and had Topher test for 'electrolytes' in 'hand' lotion and I think I used my Chris Hansen joke too early. Remember two words, Topher: stranger danger.
But the big thing was the Three Minute Dates I've mentioned at Caritas. Billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne avoided actually participating by hosting. And some people drank some courage before heading into five rounds of short dates. And then after the dates, some people got their hookups squared away.
Bruce got to explain to Joker that the zombies and the weirdly quiet bartender were apparently responsible for all of the hard work for the night, which is weird. Eric tried being moody and unapproachable and then Kate Gregson approached and hugged him. Vamp fail. They caught up on some gossip and Kate was grossed about about drinking blood.
Wait, like humans drinking it? Eww.
Jessica was hanging out at the bar doing something on her phone when Eleanor stopped by to ask about her dates and chat about how freaky Fandom can be. Then Jessica went to Cade to talk about Cade-on-girl action, girl-on-girl action, and studying. Joker got his drink on and Eleanor sat down to chat with him leading to flirting and depressing family talk, which I think means you did flirting wrong. Good job, good effort.
Apparently it was also alumni night at the bar because Angela showed up and started hanging out with Kate. The squirrels assure me that they're former students and not just names they're making up to play a trick on me. But I didn't even ask about that so I'm kinda suspicious. Anyway, they bonded over being basically the only people either one knew in the bar and caught up.
Elsa didn't understand how bars work so she got tea. She also got a visit from Eleanor who asked about her dates and then started planning calculus study sessions with each other. Joker tried to get her drunk, but Elsa decided to leave instead. Crash. And. Burn.
The most disturbing woman I've ever met - you might know her as Pam - drank her weird absinthe drink - eww - when Navaan came by to invite her to a threeway with Nikolai. Honestly, I'd be more upset about striking out myself, but then I remember what Pam told me about threesomes and ohfsu884nfskjnv slrchslrhfs9rsbflshrflhnsflbsnsrp94j.
*glug glug*
Squirrels, you're not so bad. Thanks for the rum. Flick and Zeela barely even tried to disguise talking about how much they wanted to bone each other and then she started to feel him up at the bar.
Well, that's a hell of a note to end on. Get lucky, everyone! Or, in some cases, psychological help.
Top Story: women in this town are nuts. And before anyone starts accusing me of being misogynistic for saying that, I want to make it completely clear that I fear for my life from these absinthe-swishing, leech-carrying, death-eyed, Cheryl Tunty women and honestly think that they need five shrinks each. Derek, please put more locks on my door, okay, buddy?
Mindy and Sarah? I'm sorry I wasn't nicer so I could latch onto you like a freaking lamprey before I met some of these chicks.
And now the rest of your news!
School
Cassidy was in the library and literally nothing happened. No, seriously, the notes say it was 'calm, peaceful, event-free.' That's not news, that's a person and a place. I'm going to say that she was negotiating a drug deal.
Dorms
Cassidy's drug cartel had a massive war with let's say Anya's, since I never wrote her name on the board a couple weeks ago for stealing my speed. Oh, hey, she's a speed kingpin, that works. So yeah, they went to war and who knows who'll have the drug empire when all is said and done?
In other words, nothing happened. Have one speed dating thing in town and suddenly nobody will do anything in their dorms. Unless they went ahead and did things in the dorms after the dates. I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have notes on that, though, otherwise Chris Hansen would be in the other room waiting to talk to some squirrels.
Town
Some creepy guy walked into Stark's and had Topher test for 'electrolytes' in 'hand' lotion and I think I used my Chris Hansen joke too early. Remember two words, Topher: stranger danger.
But the big thing was the Three Minute Dates I've mentioned at Caritas. Billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne avoided actually participating by hosting. And some people drank some courage before heading into five rounds of short dates. And then after the dates, some people got their hookups squared away.
Bruce got to explain to Joker that the zombies and the weirdly quiet bartender were apparently responsible for all of the hard work for the night, which is weird. Eric tried being moody and unapproachable and then Kate Gregson approached and hugged him. Vamp fail. They caught up on some gossip and Kate was grossed about about drinking blood.
Wait, like humans drinking it? Eww.
Jessica was hanging out at the bar doing something on her phone when Eleanor stopped by to ask about her dates and chat about how freaky Fandom can be. Then Jessica went to Cade to talk about Cade-on-girl action, girl-on-girl action, and studying. Joker got his drink on and Eleanor sat down to chat with him leading to flirting and depressing family talk, which I think means you did flirting wrong. Good job, good effort.
Apparently it was also alumni night at the bar because Angela showed up and started hanging out with Kate. The squirrels assure me that they're former students and not just names they're making up to play a trick on me. But I didn't even ask about that so I'm kinda suspicious. Anyway, they bonded over being basically the only people either one knew in the bar and caught up.
Elsa didn't understand how bars work so she got tea. She also got a visit from Eleanor who asked about her dates and then started planning calculus study sessions with each other. Joker tried to get her drunk, but Elsa decided to leave instead. Crash. And. Burn.
The most disturbing woman I've ever met - you might know her as Pam - drank her weird absinthe drink - eww - when Navaan came by to invite her to a threeway with Nikolai. Honestly, I'd be more upset about striking out myself, but then I remember what Pam told me about threesomes and ohfsu884nfskjnv slrchslrhfs9rsbflshrflhnsflbsnsrp94j.
*glug glug*
Squirrels, you're not so bad. Thanks for the rum. Flick and Zeela barely even tried to disguise talking about how much they wanted to bone each other and then she started to feel him up at the bar.
Well, that's a hell of a note to end on. Get lucky, everyone! Or, in some cases, psychological help.