Fandom Radio, Saturday, October 5th

[furnaceface]

Jono: You know, squirrels, I do appreciate your dedication to getting this broadcast on the air every day, but there are about a million pages of notes, and I do appear to have company this weekend.

*Chittering*

Jono: … Help? What do you mean, you brought help? We still need to take turns reading, having an assist doesn't actually mean we finish any faster.

*... Chitter.*

Jono: No, I didn't think you did think about that.

*A door slams*

Quentin Quire: -- I mean, really? Squirrels? I know for a fact there's no Squirrel Girl on the island, though that would be hilarious since I guess Dr. Doom is a teacher he-WHOAPOCA-oh. No, it's just Chamber. That's some look for you, teach.

Jono: I hate you already.

Quire: Then my job here is done. I'll just be taking my leave--

Jono: No. *Papers rustling* If the squirrels went through all the trouble of kidnapping you, you're going to be put to use. Read.

Quire: … Seriously? You want me to sit here playing news anchor on Big Brother Radio? You really haven't been paying attention to- Ow! Okay, who threw that acorn? Ow! Damn it! Okay, I'm reading, I'm reading! You guys sure you don't know Squirrel Girl?

*Chittering*

Quire: Yeah, yeah. Okay, so this sheet of notes is for whatever happened in that fascist institution you guys call a School out here. Criminal Justice got to get all hands-on at a Danger Shop murder scene. You know, this place sounds more like the school I'm going to all the time. Cultural Exploration went to Greenland for some whale watching, boring, and Space! talked about the origins of astrology. Ladies, if you're a Leo or an Aquarius, call me. Over in the library, Billy was texting and reading fanfiction, and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it was probably smut. Yesterday seemed like the kind of day for smutty fanfiction.

Jono: Honestly, I have more faith in Billy than that.

Quire: He's a teenage boy with access to the internet. Plus, aphrodisiac pollen.

Jono: …

Quire: Thought so. As for the authoritarian rulers keeping this institution going, Zoe was in her office with a fan aimed at her, Bond was shirtless in his with the AC cranked up when Sarah stopped by to ogle and drink, and Big Blue here was skulking around in his listening to Pearl Jam and hiding from the picnic in the guise of being available for parents to come talk to. Because some things never change.

Jono: I really, really do hate you.

Quire: Then you shouldn't have told me to read. Over in the Dorms, because Big Brother Radio isn't going to leave students alone in their own bedrooms either, Cade was hiding in his room with the door locked when his Uncle Bantha showed up to criticize his housekeeping skills and pester him about spending more time with family.

Jono: I'll take it from here, thank you.

Quire: That mean I get to go?

Jono: No. If I have to suffer, everyone does. Here in Town, Jack Priest was making coffee and watching the news when a Krogan -

Quire: Sounds like a nasty infection.

Jono: When a Krogan stopped by looking for the other Jack. He didn't find her, but he did get that Jack to make him a sandwich. Over at the Arms, Mary was reading dirty stories on her e-reader when David Bowie-- When. Bowie. When… Bowie? Bowie is on the island? I.

Quire: Yeah, he's going to be a while recovering from that one. So. Some unfortunate kid named Sparkle was reading venereal disease pamphlets because he actually showed up to work at the sex shop this week. That was stupid. Kenzi stopped by to shop and asked why he was idiot enough to show up to work at all, and he explained that he didn't want to risk running into his boyfriend's family, if they showed up this year at all, because he didn't want to get judged for being the mundie boyfriend. That anything like being a flatscan?

Jono: If you mean in that it's a word I'll get the squirrels to pelt you with acorns for if I hear you using it again, yes.

Quire: Touchy. So, Priestly found Tish at Luke's, and of course they made out. Dinah showed up with expert timing, so there was awkwardness and talk about the pollen and how that's a thing around here. Heh. Is it ever.

Jono: Not asking. At the Devil's Nest, Allie was armed with a spray bottle in case of, well… in case of Tiny being Tiny. Eric was brooding, and Allie asked him if he was going to cut that out any time soon. Kenzi was waiting for Toby, who she missed greatly. Greatly enough that there was talk about getting a hotel room off the island. Wise decision.

Quire: I dunno… the pollen in the air yesterday was one hell of a mood set-

Jono: Quiet. Mike had his guests, Brooke and Adam, with him at Caritas, where there was a special on drinks for the Fandom-Traumatized. Brooke was more interested in checking out Mike's apartment than the bar, though Adam's presence might or might not have complicated that plan some. Tamsin just wanted to drink, or, barring that, for the pollen to leave before she'd have to start arresting people for indecent exposure. Dinah and Tamsin were not so thrilled about apparently sharing a face - Turtle & Canary really needs to stock 'Congratulations on Meeting Your Doppelganger' greeting cards, they'd made a fortune - and Acacia threatened Tamsin with a knife, which, of course, ended with them both being dumped into the duck pond.

Quire: This place is hilarious. Remind me to drink at that bar before I leave.

Jono: Remind yourself. Angela got a drink for old murdered-by-vampires trauma before introducing herself to Mike. Dinah needed Mike to explain to her that the specials were because of the pollen and the Parents' Weekend thing overlapping the way they did. And, asking Mike for champagne and doubting the musical skills of the zombies, there was David Bo-- Bow.. buh.

Quire: Bluescreened again. It's actually kind of funny. If sad. Bruce Wayne decided to show off how philanthropic he is by offering to take Tino to the mainland to get him laid. If he's got to go that far to get laid, he's probably a lost cause, Wayne. Adam and Gwendolyn flirted and ended up leaving together - I am above making bow-chicka-bow-bow noises, but know that I'm thinking it for every time I read about a hookup. Gwendolyn came back for Flick, who she's here to take back. Guess her and Adam didn't work out. Or they decided two's company, three's an or-

Jono: Stop. Jackass. Anyway, Dr. Girlfriend and Bowie talked in the lounge… You know him!?

Quire: God, breaking his brain is too easy. Almost takes the fun out of it. Almost. So, anyway, there was the Meet and Greet in the Park that everyone went to yesterday. There was guest registration where people got their nametags - mine says Kid Omega -

Jono: Charming.

Quire: It is. Though some of the guests, like Tenzin and Tonraq and I can't believe those are real names, thought the writing here was weird. Over at Security, Sam Seaborn's pickup lines totally failed to get Tamsin to go with him to get a drink. Loser. Though I guess he had better luck over by the food and drink tables, where April asked him if he's an underwear model.

Jono: … Really, April?

Quire: Hey, if it works, it works. Isabelle's attempts to flirt with Yancy were thwarted when he found out she's his brother's roommate. Awkward. Korra demonstrated that she's a daddy's girl when she gave Tonraq - seriously, that name - a tackle-type-hug. Susan brought Rilla a basket of food and noted that she wasn't aware that America has castles. Which we don't, Rilla explained, except for Disney World.

Jono: And Disneyland. I have a bias.

Quire: Sure. Anyhow, Hannibal promised Susan that the pie is safe. So, at least there's that. Dr. Brockton was there for a therapy session with Theo or something, sorry that his friends weren't there and explaining he hadn't talked to the kid's parents. Alana checked in with Even, her stepmom, who wanted to meet all her friends. Dr. Girlfriend asked about Even's wings and instead got confirmation that her tits are real. Which is important, too. Karina wasn't thrilled to see Ivan, but apparently that was carryover from Criminal Justice class and the whole dead body thing. Seriously. This school? About as traumatizing as mine. Flick and Emma Swan talked about grocery shopping for food, and then they took off together. And not to grocery shop. Cecil greeted Carlos with a kiss and told him all about the two science classes he's taking this semester. I guess this was a big deal? Jack Nought got to hear from Grunt - that's the Krogan from earlier - about how he almost ate that other Jack, and Clint was teased by his brother Barney for all the food he was eating, but then there was hugging, which is so adorable I might puke.

Jono: Wonderful. While you're doing that, I'll keep reading. People mingled even in places in the park where there weren't food tables. Madness, I know. Gert gave Nico a hug and a warning about the pollen while admitting that she doesn't actually hate the island. Jack Nought asked her boss, Kahlee, if she's really been on the island long enough to warrant being checked up on already. Sam Seaborn was a little thrown by the sight of Old Lace, but got over that quickly enough when Ben dared him to go and talk to Tamsin. Which, as we know, didn't work out all that well for him. Ben then complimented Riley on his job and then tried to tell him about his house. Gert complimented this berk-

Quire: Hey!

Jono: - on his ridiculous pink hair before they bonded about being forced to go to school by such superheroic truancy officers as Captain America and Wolverine.

Quire: Tools. Jag and Bantha remembered one another from last year, and there's something about a list of people to buy and sell. I don't know. I don't ask. I don't get wrapped up in some kind of messed up multidimensional slave ring or something. Jaina warned Jag, who's her boyfriend, about the pollen before taking him to see her apartment. Because, you know, they were totally going to be paying attention to the apartment. Jim got a visit from Captain Pike from Starfleet, who didn't approve of his life choices. Yeah, sounds like all Captains are pretty much the same, in that regard. Barney asked Kitty if she knows Clint, explaining he was his brother and getting the 'I'm his girlfriend' reply right back - Miss Pryde?

Jono: That'd be her, yes.

Quire: If I find out there's a Wolverine here, too, I'm leaving.

Jono: We should be so lucky. Surreal didn't take mercy on Cara in spite of her sneezing, sneaking up on her and pinning her to the ground. Raven spoke to her brother, Charles, about how there are mutants, here, and if that's the Charles I think it might be…

Quire: *Gagging noises*

Jono: … I'm not actually entirely in disagreement, there. Sorry, island. Kitty said hello to him, and he did, in fact, introduce himself as Charles Xavier, at which point she had to explain that she was already taken so that he'd stop flirting with her…

Quire: *Laughing. Laughing so hard there is sobbing.*

Jono: These weekends. I swear… My guest, Angelo, was surprised to see Emma - She's not our Emma, mate - who directed him to my office to find me. Jack Priest told Emma all about his meeting with Grunt, but she was ambivalent about the lunch meat, since he left her coffee alone. Then they talked about bringing Hank here. I… have mixed feelings about that, but I won't trouble the island with just why here on the air. Alana Bloom found Hannibal, and was a little surprised about the number of people around. Why do you suppose I stayed in my office? Dr. Girlfriend gave a hug to B… Buh.

Quire: Bowie.

Jono: … Bowie. And told him about her audition for our show at the Boards. David Bowie knows about the Boards. I. I…

Quire: Riiiight. Anyhow, Hannibal thought Bowie looked like a relative, but nope. So they just decided it was a doppelganger thing. Could be clones, too. We get a lot of that back where I'm from.

Jono: … Bowie. Knows about… He…

Quire: … Yeah. Sure. Anyway, that's all the notes, so I'm going to get the hell out of here. You, uh, have fun with that.

Jono: … He…

*Dead air.*