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fandom_radio2013-09-04 12:10 am
voiceoverdue) wrote in fandom_radio2013-09-04 12:10 am
Entry tags:
Fandom Radio, Wednesday, September 4th
Greetings, listeners. Cecil here, and I'm just thrilled to be able to bring you the news for yesterday! These squirrels are saying I'm awfully chipper, but I've so missed radio the last few days! *throat clearing as his voice threatens to break* Anyway, here's the news for yesterday, the third of September:
Over at the school, there was an entire day of classes with no fatalities - well done!
In Basic Cooking Techniques, Doctor Lecter introduced himself and passed out syllabi before getting into the main class topic: the boiling of water. Also, the students introduced themselves and talked about their food allergies; most of them don't seem to have any, oddly enough. Which is great, because it means everyone's been behaving in an approved manner and not being part of a lower socioeconomic class. Yay! Government-created illnesses are no fun, and - what?
*chittering*
But then how do they -
*more chittering*
(Dubiously) If you say so.
Then the whole class cooked pasta. Which according to this squirrel is the "boiliest" food. I thought that was spiderwolf? It's really far too tough unless you boil it for several days first. Let me tell you, though, listeners, it is worth it! Especially if you get fresh, bloody shitakes for the sauce, and -
*chittering*
*sigh* Okay, okay. Then the whole class ate the food Doctor Lecter made, which sounds really yummy! After class, Anna let Doctor Lecter know about her problems traveling, because she might not be able to make field trips. Oh, no! I do hope they worked it out. Let me tell you something, listeners - it's a shame sometimes how people don't make the effort to accommodate the handicapped. Just because someone's not alive, that doesn't make them any less of a person or less worthy of field trips. Now, I don't mean to get on a soapbox or anything, but -
*chittering*
*bigger sigh* Yes, yes. A short show. (Dejected) All right.
In Ethics class, Anakin Skywalker - you know, the Dean - played his favorite getting to know you game in lieu of regular introductions: Two Truths and a Lie. He also explained the rules of the class. And then, according to the squirrels, he gave birth to a moo cow. Oh, wait. It says that was a lie; they were just playing along. Are you sure?
*chittering*
Right. No cow. Then the whole class made up lies about themselves. Isn't that more first grade than high school, though? I mean, I remember a couple kids in my class had to be held back for failing Falsehoods and Fibbing. Honestly, if any student couldn't get through that part of the class, I would worry for them. Especially if they plan on any sort of career in politics or teaching.
Next period, in History: An Exploration of Overlooked Historical Events (which is one of my classes, and sounds super nifty so far!) Mister Poole introduced himself and what the class was about. He told us the story of Sybil Ludington, who was sort of like Paul Revere if Paul Revere had been female and sixteen and an even better rider. Then he asked how we would keep history from forgetting us. Personally, I went with "try to be white and male". It seems to work for most famous folks. Some of the other students had other suggestions, too. Raven suggested being evil, which is a great plan! Just remember, you have to have your own minions or cult spread out, just in case the government decides to wipe you from recorded history for your crimes.
After that, in Hand-to-Hand Combat & Self Defense, Mister Hansen and his dog, Max, who sounds really adorable,talked about the rules of the class. Well, to be fair, Mister Hansen talked; Max mostly just got belly rubs. I think we know who got the good end of that deal, right, listeners? Then everyone introduced themselves and said how much fighting they knew and an interesting fact about themselves. Everyone has something interesting about themselves. Except Steve Carlsberg. He's just dull and annoying. But I don't think we have anyone like that here, do we?
After class, Daphne talked to Mister Hansen about being his TA. Congratulations and good luck, Daphne!
In other news at the school, William wasn't used to being in the library on a Tuesday, and the books seemed out of sorts with it, too, because they kept going back to the circulation desk.
I have to say, listeners, this library thing is really throwing me for a bit of a loop. My roommate is actually a librarian in training! And not vicious at all! I checked, and the fatality rate is nearly zero! I'm not entirely sure what to make of it all. I mean, they -
*chittering*
Right. (Curtly.) More news.
In the dorms, Alec was busy at the shooting range, doing very well with a bow and arrow. Good for you, Alec! There are some things a gun just can't do; archery is a great skill to have.
Sparkle came by, and apparently had a bad weekend, so Alec showed him how to shoot a bow and arrow. That should cheer him up! Believe me, listeners, nothing cheers you up like a bit of strategically applied violence. Even if it is just against paper targets. When I get really upset myself, I like to head out with a - ouch! Hey! No acorns! That was a perfectly legitimate observation!
*emphatic chittering*
Well, if you're not going to let me do the news my way…
*more chittering*
Okay, a compromise. No acorns, any commentary I like, and I'll try to stay on topic. Deal?
*decisive chittering*
Good. *deep breath* My apologies, listeners. Now that that's settled…
Isabelle also came by to tell her brother she was here and she was traumatizing his boyfriend. Which really isn't very nice, you know. Well, unless it's consensual.
Elsewhere in the dorms, Flick was in the common room on the fifth floor, eating cereal with the TV on, even though he wasn't watching it. Which is really just uncalled for. Unless you have a reason to be watching it, you ought to keep it off. Otherwise, you're just making it harder for the government wiretaps to pick up any conversations you might have.
His roommate Kathy came by and talked about the fact he couldn't boil noodles. Hm. The note from the squirrel says, "Maybe noodles killed his dad. You don't know." And that's a very good point. You can never be certain what unknown trauma might be lurking behind someone's inability to perform simple tasks. It's best not to judge.
Meanwhile, Jim Kirk was in his room, eating a rather messy sandwich and talking to someone over texts. Hm. It says here he was eating that sandwich "in a way this squirrel is going to take as suggestive. Rrawr." Well, good luck to you, then, whichever one of you it is. Just let me know if you want me to put in a good word with him. Unless it's you, because I still remember that acorn!
Danny was also in his room, trying to figure out how to add … some sort of advanced technology to the bathroom in the dorms. I commend his initiative, listeners, but I think I might stay out of the third floor men's bathroom for a while.
And in town, Kaidan was drinking coffee and catching up on the news from home, which apparently wasn't all good. Jack - the male one - also got some coffee, along with the news, and found out there's a female Jack, too. Whom, the squirrels say, the male Jack once was for a weekend. You might want to watch out; I've had less than good luck with doubles, myself.
An employee trying to get on the mayor's good side bought him some burgers. I generally find a blood sacrifice - goat if you can get it - is best. And the green skittles.
At the Arms Hotel, Mary was looking really tired and drinking a lot of coffee.
At the post office, Éponine was looking through a "slightly mangled electronics catalog". Which one of you - ah. (muffled, as if turned away from the mic) Is the catalog mangled, or the electronics?
*chittering*
Well, don't get excited, it's a perfectly valid question!
*indignant chittering*
I've got a lovely mangled toaster at home, for your information.
*somewhat huffy chittering*
Fine, then. (Back at the mic) A slightly mangled catalog of perfectly normal electronics, apparently. Then Kitty came by to mail some clothes she'd borrowed, and Kenzi came by to ask about any weird packages being sent. Honestly, unless it's biting, you're probably good. Watch out for those teeth, though; in Night Vale a few years back, we had a package go rabid. It infected half a cart of letters before it was contained! You've got to be careful.
Later on, Kitty was watching Whose Wedding Is It Anyway with Tino at Caritas. Whose wedding is it?
*chittering*
Oh. Well, that sounds like it would be a really short show. But hey - whatever you enjoy, as long as it's government approved, go for it!
Also at Caritas, Clara Barton showed up to take advantage of the half-off special on drinks for new people. What a welcoming idea! I have to say, I've been really impressed with the hospitality here on the island so far. Without getting too far into my personal life, I have to say I was a little bummed to be away from home, but between the really nifty flower crowns, and apparent discounts on drinks, and just the general friendliness of everyone, I'm really enjoying my time here so far.
And before you throw that acorn, there's only one note left! Clint also showed up and tried to get his drink discounted on account of being charming and dating Kitty. I think that's a pretty fair argument; what about you, listeners?
*relieved-sounding chittering*
You don't count. Anyway, listeners, this has been the news from all of Fandom for yesterday.
*scuffling*
And because I'm being rather forcibly removed, I'll just leave you with the weather!
Over at the school, there was an entire day of classes with no fatalities - well done!
In Basic Cooking Techniques, Doctor Lecter introduced himself and passed out syllabi before getting into the main class topic: the boiling of water. Also, the students introduced themselves and talked about their food allergies; most of them don't seem to have any, oddly enough. Which is great, because it means everyone's been behaving in an approved manner and not being part of a lower socioeconomic class. Yay! Government-created illnesses are no fun, and - what?
*chittering*
But then how do they -
*more chittering*
(Dubiously) If you say so.
Then the whole class cooked pasta. Which according to this squirrel is the "boiliest" food. I thought that was spiderwolf? It's really far too tough unless you boil it for several days first. Let me tell you, though, listeners, it is worth it! Especially if you get fresh, bloody shitakes for the sauce, and -
*chittering*
*sigh* Okay, okay. Then the whole class ate the food Doctor Lecter made, which sounds really yummy! After class, Anna let Doctor Lecter know about her problems traveling, because she might not be able to make field trips. Oh, no! I do hope they worked it out. Let me tell you something, listeners - it's a shame sometimes how people don't make the effort to accommodate the handicapped. Just because someone's not alive, that doesn't make them any less of a person or less worthy of field trips. Now, I don't mean to get on a soapbox or anything, but -
*chittering*
*bigger sigh* Yes, yes. A short show. (Dejected) All right.
In Ethics class, Anakin Skywalker - you know, the Dean - played his favorite getting to know you game in lieu of regular introductions: Two Truths and a Lie. He also explained the rules of the class. And then, according to the squirrels, he gave birth to a moo cow. Oh, wait. It says that was a lie; they were just playing along. Are you sure?
*chittering*
Right. No cow. Then the whole class made up lies about themselves. Isn't that more first grade than high school, though? I mean, I remember a couple kids in my class had to be held back for failing Falsehoods and Fibbing. Honestly, if any student couldn't get through that part of the class, I would worry for them. Especially if they plan on any sort of career in politics or teaching.
Next period, in History: An Exploration of Overlooked Historical Events (which is one of my classes, and sounds super nifty so far!) Mister Poole introduced himself and what the class was about. He told us the story of Sybil Ludington, who was sort of like Paul Revere if Paul Revere had been female and sixteen and an even better rider. Then he asked how we would keep history from forgetting us. Personally, I went with "try to be white and male". It seems to work for most famous folks. Some of the other students had other suggestions, too. Raven suggested being evil, which is a great plan! Just remember, you have to have your own minions or cult spread out, just in case the government decides to wipe you from recorded history for your crimes.
After that, in Hand-to-Hand Combat & Self Defense, Mister Hansen and his dog, Max, who sounds really adorable,talked about the rules of the class. Well, to be fair, Mister Hansen talked; Max mostly just got belly rubs. I think we know who got the good end of that deal, right, listeners? Then everyone introduced themselves and said how much fighting they knew and an interesting fact about themselves. Everyone has something interesting about themselves. Except Steve Carlsberg. He's just dull and annoying. But I don't think we have anyone like that here, do we?
After class, Daphne talked to Mister Hansen about being his TA. Congratulations and good luck, Daphne!
In other news at the school, William wasn't used to being in the library on a Tuesday, and the books seemed out of sorts with it, too, because they kept going back to the circulation desk.
I have to say, listeners, this library thing is really throwing me for a bit of a loop. My roommate is actually a librarian in training! And not vicious at all! I checked, and the fatality rate is nearly zero! I'm not entirely sure what to make of it all. I mean, they -
*chittering*
Right. (Curtly.) More news.
In the dorms, Alec was busy at the shooting range, doing very well with a bow and arrow. Good for you, Alec! There are some things a gun just can't do; archery is a great skill to have.
Sparkle came by, and apparently had a bad weekend, so Alec showed him how to shoot a bow and arrow. That should cheer him up! Believe me, listeners, nothing cheers you up like a bit of strategically applied violence. Even if it is just against paper targets. When I get really upset myself, I like to head out with a - ouch! Hey! No acorns! That was a perfectly legitimate observation!
*emphatic chittering*
Well, if you're not going to let me do the news my way…
*more chittering*
Okay, a compromise. No acorns, any commentary I like, and I'll try to stay on topic. Deal?
*decisive chittering*
Good. *deep breath* My apologies, listeners. Now that that's settled…
Isabelle also came by to tell her brother she was here and she was traumatizing his boyfriend. Which really isn't very nice, you know. Well, unless it's consensual.
Elsewhere in the dorms, Flick was in the common room on the fifth floor, eating cereal with the TV on, even though he wasn't watching it. Which is really just uncalled for. Unless you have a reason to be watching it, you ought to keep it off. Otherwise, you're just making it harder for the government wiretaps to pick up any conversations you might have.
His roommate Kathy came by and talked about the fact he couldn't boil noodles. Hm. The note from the squirrel says, "Maybe noodles killed his dad. You don't know." And that's a very good point. You can never be certain what unknown trauma might be lurking behind someone's inability to perform simple tasks. It's best not to judge.
Meanwhile, Jim Kirk was in his room, eating a rather messy sandwich and talking to someone over texts. Hm. It says here he was eating that sandwich "in a way this squirrel is going to take as suggestive. Rrawr." Well, good luck to you, then, whichever one of you it is. Just let me know if you want me to put in a good word with him. Unless it's you, because I still remember that acorn!
Danny was also in his room, trying to figure out how to add … some sort of advanced technology to the bathroom in the dorms. I commend his initiative, listeners, but I think I might stay out of the third floor men's bathroom for a while.
And in town, Kaidan was drinking coffee and catching up on the news from home, which apparently wasn't all good. Jack - the male one - also got some coffee, along with the news, and found out there's a female Jack, too. Whom, the squirrels say, the male Jack once was for a weekend. You might want to watch out; I've had less than good luck with doubles, myself.
An employee trying to get on the mayor's good side bought him some burgers. I generally find a blood sacrifice - goat if you can get it - is best. And the green skittles.
At the Arms Hotel, Mary was looking really tired and drinking a lot of coffee.
At the post office, Éponine was looking through a "slightly mangled electronics catalog". Which one of you - ah. (muffled, as if turned away from the mic) Is the catalog mangled, or the electronics?
*chittering*
Well, don't get excited, it's a perfectly valid question!
*indignant chittering*
I've got a lovely mangled toaster at home, for your information.
*somewhat huffy chittering*
Fine, then. (Back at the mic) A slightly mangled catalog of perfectly normal electronics, apparently. Then Kitty came by to mail some clothes she'd borrowed, and Kenzi came by to ask about any weird packages being sent. Honestly, unless it's biting, you're probably good. Watch out for those teeth, though; in Night Vale a few years back, we had a package go rabid. It infected half a cart of letters before it was contained! You've got to be careful.
Later on, Kitty was watching Whose Wedding Is It Anyway with Tino at Caritas. Whose wedding is it?
*chittering*
Oh. Well, that sounds like it would be a really short show. But hey - whatever you enjoy, as long as it's government approved, go for it!
Also at Caritas, Clara Barton showed up to take advantage of the half-off special on drinks for new people. What a welcoming idea! I have to say, I've been really impressed with the hospitality here on the island so far. Without getting too far into my personal life, I have to say I was a little bummed to be away from home, but between the really nifty flower crowns, and apparent discounts on drinks, and just the general friendliness of everyone, I'm really enjoying my time here so far.
And before you throw that acorn, there's only one note left! Clint also showed up and tried to get his drink discounted on account of being charming and dating Kitty. I think that's a pretty fair argument; what about you, listeners?
*relieved-sounding chittering*
You don't count. Anyway, listeners, this has been the news from all of Fandom for yesterday.
*scuffling*
And because I'm being rather forcibly removed, I'll just leave you with the weather!
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