fandom_radio | Fandom Radio, Saturday, July 27

Sam: *yawning* Morning, Commander. Excuse me, sorry. Morning, Commander.

Kaidan: You awake, Specialist?

Sam: Getting there, sir. Apologies.

Kaidan: Let me get you a cup of coffee when this is over, okay?

Sam: Oh. Thank you, Commander.

SCHOOL

Sam: Archery class met as usual, though with considerably more, um, sexual harrassment than the norm, with Megan inspecting Professor Barton's arms and Kara telling him he'd be better off foregoing shirts. Oh my.

Kaidan: what is it with these girls-- these fangirls?

Sam: Professor Priest's class focused on firefighting today, for... some reason, and The Care and Feeding of Sidekicks had a guest lecturer. Cordelia apparently had a few questions about that.

Finally, Monsters and Humans watched a film, and Mavis turned back from a wolf into a person while Evan watched. ...Er, but it does say here that Mavis transformed with clothes on, so there is that.

Kaidan: Huh. Find out how she did that.

Sam: Yes, I'd really like to know too. Lastly, Dr. Lecter was researching restaurants and had a visitor by the name of Nonny, who seemed quite curious about his life story.

DORMS

Peter was watching a film in the third floor common room when Astrid stopped by to criticize his wardrobe. That might have been the source of Peter's bad mood a bit later, when he insulted Natalie as well as Gert.

In the evening, Victor practiced a bit in the salle, while Gert holed up in her room and Emmett spent some time on the dorm roof. Megan visited the roof in time to spot Emmett, and concluding that he was feeling down, she advised that he, erm, seek companionship.

Kaidan: They really need to stay out of our personal lives. That's just crossing the line.

TOWN

Kaidan: Sparkle was having an okay day with no sign of fangirls, just... gremlins in dressing room. Okay. Alec had a weirder day, with a collection of... questionably legal arms showing up, followed by a pirate looking for weapons. Better be careful with that one.

The Mayor was enjoying some bacon burgers at town hall when Kara the fangirl showed up, looking for mustache advice for her twelve-year-old son. Yeah... that's not gonna happen. Professor Anakin Skywalker mourned on the beach, and the squirrels seem pretty insistent it was dramatic. As was Aeryn's arrival on the scene. Who's that? Another fangirl? I have no idea.

Zack and Ino - again, fangirls? I don't know - turned up on the island, wondering how they got there. Yeah, so've the rest of us. Priestly seemed pretty pissed off at the diner, which resulted in him insulting April and making Dean cry. … Really? Dean, you okay?

At J,GoB's, Dinah was puzzled over the soap opera the staff were acting out--

*loud chittering*

Kaidan: Uh... the squirrels say something about 'wrong event'? I don't know. Anyway, he talked to Dinah and they argued about him signing... a part of a fangirl's body. Jak turned up - they're just coming out of the woodwork everywhere - to let Dinah know why he'd been gone for so long, then walked out on a fight with Priestly. Uh...

Derek's running the coffee shop now? That's going to be a p-- yeah, that's a thing. Cara wanted 'hot and thick' coffee. Pretty sure if it's thick, it's syrup-- oh. Then Stiles showed up and he's a minor, Hale. You better have acted like it. Hermione showed up to throw herself at Derek as well. That better not be a minor! Pinkie Pie stopped by to criticize Derek's fashion choices. Really? That's the part you're gonna focus on?

Sam: Is it just me, Commander, or does this entire broadcast seem like a joke that's gone way over our heads?

Kaidan: That, or everyone's gone nuts. Mira's also working there, to the bafflement of Kenzi. Much like Éponine too, actually, who's apparently American now? The hell is going on here? Mira complimented her jacket, but that turned into Éponine complaining about Derek pretty quick. I-- he's dragging people into the back room?! Kenzi had to deal with another fangirl and - ugh - 'shipping'. Can you leave our personal lives alone? Thanks.

There was actually decent music at the Devil's Nest, which is a small blessing, I guess. Allie talked to Eric about Candy Crush and, uh, ways to deal with frustration. Through Candy Crush. A stripper pole appeared randomly over at the competition. Uh... isn't that the one where children are allowed to show up? Jaina, you might want to... not. Uh. Jaina. …

… anyway. Derek showed up there too and for the love of God, Derek, minors, where the hell is the Sheriff in this town?!

Sam: I hope we've still got one and he's not suddenly working at the coffee shop too...

Kaidan: Seriously, this is just beyond the pale. Kitty decided the best response was drinking. I can understand that one. Kara was fascinated by Mike's looks, and had strawberry daiquiris with Kenzi. Is that the right plural--? Someone called Chuck Bass came in, much to Jaina's delight. … Ahem. Kelsi and Kara - fangirls - talked about Derek and all the things he should not be doing at Caritas, unlike, say, carding kids like Patrick, who was really surprised by the lack of it for a pretty good reason. Jaina finished off her... I don't even know... by hanging around the back room congratulating herself.

Sam: ...On a somewhat less awkward note, at the Arms Hotel, new visitor Bruce Wayne did some work. Kara paid him a visit and wondered why he doesn't look like... I think that must be a celebrity from this era, but Bruce was rather determined to get her to leave his room. When Quinn visited a bit later, however, she received a much warmer welcome.

Kaidan: I need to go to Caritas tonight. Or the coffee shop. Derek can't keep pulling this.

Sam: I think I'll be heading for a drink on the mainland, myself. Have a nice day, Fandom. Enjoy... all of this.

*door slams*