Jono Starsmore (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
furnaceface) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandom_radio2013-03-31 11:13 am
furnaceface) wrote in fandom_radio2013-03-31 11:13 am
Entry tags:
Fandom Radio, Sunday, March 31st
Navan: Whazzat?
Jono: What's wha- Ah, it's you. The squirrels neglected to mention that I'd have company for this impromptu Sunday morning broadcast. You can run along now, luv. I'll take it from here.
Navaan: What are you talking about? I showed up here last night to get drunk with the squirrels.
*Indignant chitter*
Oh, fine. Get drunk with and also play poker. Which reminds me--who ended up with my shirt?
Jono: … I think some squirrels have passed out on it. Here, take my coat.
Navaan: ...Why?
Jono: It might get drafty? … No? Right, I'll just read these notes, all of them apparently from town, today. No longer a gopher, Topher decided to make something productive of his shift at Stark Industries by running scans on himself to make certain nothing was out of the ordinary. Dean Winchester thought the castle was a little freaky, but that didn't stop him from crossing the causeway and deciding to stick around nevertheless. Priestly mistook him for a different Dean - this island - but learned otherwise quickly enough when he was splashed with holy water and attacked with a silver knife. Dean, you'll want to not make a habit of that around here. People take it personally.
Navaan: Hey! That’s not cool! I'm pretty sure I slept with him! No stabbing! And--wait. Holy water? That gives me the heebie-jeebies. No splashing doctors, “Dean.” It’s bad for our health. Everyone knows that.
Jono: Really, it's best to err on the side of not splashing anyone around here. A few of our locals are deathly allergic.
Navaan: Melting is not my best color.
Jono: Imagine that. Anakin Skywalker pegged the situation as a case of alternate-same-people-from-different-timelines easily enough, while his daughter Juliet offered Dean a donut. No stabbings happened, at least. And there were no stabbings still when Dean helped Buffy carry some of her belongings across the causeway. Or, rather, 'helped.' Reportedly, he had some trouble with her box of stuffed animals.
Good show, mate.
Navaan: *Snorts* She has a box of taxidermied animals? Ew. And people think my collection of sexy fake deaths are weird.
Jono: Dean - now dubbed 'New Dean' by Jaye - was also somewhat perturbed to learn about WTFH's habit of sending squirrels off to spy on you as you go about your day to day. And now you know that she wasn't kidding. Isn't that reassuring, New Dean? He also learned about the difference between his own Sam and the one that came to school on the island before when he ran into Zoe.
Jono: At the Devil's Nest, Bo was at the mercy of Tiny's nasty looks and a new episode of Mister What - You do not mess with Mister What, Bo. It's a sacred institution.
Navaan: It's a pity that a woman that hot is such a prude. Because I want to BEEEP BEEEEEP BEEPBEEPBEEEP her right before I BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEP right there on the bar.
Jono: …. Guh. Er. I mean. Notes. New Dean had no idea what to make of Tiny and his cravat, but the real news here is that he let Bo choose his drink for him and wound up with a Buttface. That's what you get, mate.
Navaan: Heh. Heh heh heh. Heh. Buttface.
Jono: Indeed. Jaina got the warning that spoiling Tiny about the episode after would only end in tears, New Dean hit on Natasha when she stopped in to order a vodka, and she and Bo agreed that hospital disinfectant vodka is really only good for disinfecting hospitals. Or blowing things up.
Navaan: As the resident doctor here, I feel that I should speak to this issue. Now then, hospital disinfectant vodka is actually used for--hey! There's another unopened bottle of rum here! Dibs!
*Sounds of a scuffle*
Jono: … And now I can check 'witness a vampire fighting squirrels, half-naked, over a bottle of rum' off of my bucket list. Good, I was worried about that. At Caritas, April was celebrating being back to normal by offering a forty percent discount on all first drinks of the evening, which our new mayor, Ron Swanson, took advantage of that deal by ordering a Scotch and no conversation, which somehow led to April showing him a picture of me as an example of the island's strangeness. Thank you, April. I'm touched.
Navaan: Ow! Little bastards. Gimme some of notes. The squirrels won’t share their rum and I'm bored. Unless you'd rather--BEEP. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEP?
Jono: As flattered as I am by that offer, and as romantic as it might seem while surrounded by trolleyed rodents and broadcasting to the entire island, I'm afraid I'm going to have to respectfully decline, luv.
Navaan: Your loss. I give a mean rear cruntknockling. Anyway--oooh. It sounds like there was an ‘adult party’ yesterday. Why wasn’t I invited? I’m great at parties! Especially adult ones! I have this party trick where I take my tongue and--
Jono: Children listen to this broadcast!
Navaan: This is educational! Anyway, so I--
Jono: Notes.
Navaan: Spoilsport. Fine, but that just means you won’t find out what I can do until after the broadcast. Anyway, on to probably the most fun thing I've heard about on the island the whole time I've been here, the 'adult party' enjoyed some mingling. Probably of fluids and bodyparts. Hot. Anyway, someone named Stiles was there, lucky bastard, and some other guy named Derek was unhappy about that. Oh. Is Stiles a siffy? That's not cool to have at an adult party. Don't worry, though. You can come to the clinic and get fixed right up. I'm a doctor!
Jono: … Must be eighteen or older to enter, offer not valid in some states...
Navaan: But then the notes say that Derek started stealing all of Stiles's drinks and that is just not ON. You can't have drinks and NOT invite me! Anyway, Kitty--is this a person or a euphemism?
Jono: Person.
Navaan: You sure? I've done a LOT of interesting bodyshots over the years.
Jono: Absolutely.
Navaan: Kay. So, this Kitty-who-is-a-person gave whatshisface drinks anyway, which is nice because most people don't share with siffies. Cause they're the gift that keeps on giving, if you know what I mean .Mike was there, too, cause I guess it was his house...Oh, wait, the sexy guy? The one with the abs I wanna bite? Don't give me that look...whatever your name is. I'll bite your abs, too. Anyway, Siffy thanked him for putting on a great party, which he knew it was because people were there. People don't normally come to Siffy's party. Well, I think we can all guess why. Seriously, Siffy. Clinic, stat. Then people will want to come to your adult parties, too. HA! See what I did there?
Jono: About as subtle as a brick, aren't you, luv?
Navaan: Oh, I was talking about sex.
Jono: I'm gobsmacked.
Navaan: Huh. And here I thought your name started with a 'J.' No wonder I couldn't remember. That name is stupid. Anyway, there was someone named Buffy--is that another euphemism? This party sounds awesome--and she didn't know anyone except Eric. Which was awkward because he's a vampire and she's a vampire-slayer and--Wait! We let people like that on the island? Isn't there some kind of policy?! You just remember that doctors have diplomatic immunity! No slaying the sexy doctors! There aren't enough of us as it is! Speaking of Eric had some kind of creepy door-loitering vibe going on. I've seen him. He could rock that look. Plus, doorways are great for flang. The lintel gives you something to hold onto while the other person--
Jono: -- performs daring acrobatics which we're not discussing on the radio.
Navaan: You know, for someone who enjoyed that very thing just a few weeks ago, you're awfully stuffy, Gobs.
Jono: … Please don't call me that.
Navaan: That's an issue you need to take up with whatever hateful parent named you 'Gobsmacked.' Poor bugger. Anyway, stop interrupting me. I'm covering the adult party and it's about to get good. And finally. Because this island is filled with sexy people and there's not NEARLY enough sex happening. What's wrong with every person on this island? It's like this is the island the getting laid fairy--I met her, she's awesome, and damn can she BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP--forgot.
Jono: … Hnngh.
Navaan: Okay, so we have sexily-lurking Eric in the doorway and then grumpily-lurking Derek in the corner. Mike came to make him feel better, heh heh, you saw what I did there again, right? And then Derek offered to go get rabbits for the guests. See, folks? That's hospitality. Plus, after the first few rounds, you get pretty hungry, so you need to eat something to get your stamina back. Like bunnies.
Jono: The notes mention rabbits and your brain goes to eating them? I'm actually surprised by that. Sarah was less than pleased by Clint's face, while Clint was less than disappointed about Guy having left the island. Meanwhile Kitty, who I think it's safe to assume is pleased by Clint's face, was drunk-texting him from across the room. Another sacred institution, that. Right along with snacks and drinks, which Mike had set up for the party-goers. Of course, that's why Kitty was so drunk. The Jell-O shots had her impressed, and she drafted Mike into helping her keep count on how many she was throwing back all night. Also at the party, dark corners, perfect for lurking, and a floor, which, presumably, was perfect for dancing on.
Navaan: There were probably also tables for that. And counters. And maybe poles. This is an adult party we're talking about. One that lacked proper medical supervision, might I add.
Jono: Sigh.
Navaan: So...we're out of notes. Now what?
Jono: … I suppose you get back to whatever you were doing with th'squirrels, and I head back to the Boards?
Navaan: Is it daylight? I can't leave in the daylight. It's a...doctor allergy, Miss Buffy Person. No reason to get all murdery.
Jono: And ditto to you, New Dean. Much as sometimes it pains me. Yes, Navaan, it's daylight out.
Navaan: I don't have my doctor suit! I don't wanna explode!
Jono: … Sad girl eyes. Of course it's the sad girl eyes. Here, luv... take th'coat, and I'll carry you back to wherever you call home.
Navaan: Thanks, Gobsy. You're the best. I can show you that tongue thing I mentioned when we get back to the newspaper office.
Jono: *Coughs* … We'll see.
Navaan: Well, if you'd prefer, I can just BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP--
*Dead air*
Jono: What's wha- Ah, it's you. The squirrels neglected to mention that I'd have company for this impromptu Sunday morning broadcast. You can run along now, luv. I'll take it from here.
Navaan: What are you talking about? I showed up here last night to get drunk with the squirrels.
*Indignant chitter*
Oh, fine. Get drunk with and also play poker. Which reminds me--who ended up with my shirt?
Jono: … I think some squirrels have passed out on it. Here, take my coat.
Navaan: ...Why?
Jono: It might get drafty? … No? Right, I'll just read these notes, all of them apparently from town, today. No longer a gopher, Topher decided to make something productive of his shift at Stark Industries by running scans on himself to make certain nothing was out of the ordinary. Dean Winchester thought the castle was a little freaky, but that didn't stop him from crossing the causeway and deciding to stick around nevertheless. Priestly mistook him for a different Dean - this island - but learned otherwise quickly enough when he was splashed with holy water and attacked with a silver knife. Dean, you'll want to not make a habit of that around here. People take it personally.
Navaan: Hey! That’s not cool! I'm pretty sure I slept with him! No stabbing! And--wait. Holy water? That gives me the heebie-jeebies. No splashing doctors, “Dean.” It’s bad for our health. Everyone knows that.
Jono: Really, it's best to err on the side of not splashing anyone around here. A few of our locals are deathly allergic.
Navaan: Melting is not my best color.
Jono: Imagine that. Anakin Skywalker pegged the situation as a case of alternate-same-people-from-different-timelines easily enough, while his daughter Juliet offered Dean a donut. No stabbings happened, at least. And there were no stabbings still when Dean helped Buffy carry some of her belongings across the causeway. Or, rather, 'helped.' Reportedly, he had some trouble with her box of stuffed animals.
Good show, mate.
Navaan: *Snorts* She has a box of taxidermied animals? Ew. And people think my collection of sexy fake deaths are weird.
Jono: Dean - now dubbed 'New Dean' by Jaye - was also somewhat perturbed to learn about WTFH's habit of sending squirrels off to spy on you as you go about your day to day. And now you know that she wasn't kidding. Isn't that reassuring, New Dean? He also learned about the difference between his own Sam and the one that came to school on the island before when he ran into Zoe.
Jono: At the Devil's Nest, Bo was at the mercy of Tiny's nasty looks and a new episode of Mister What - You do not mess with Mister What, Bo. It's a sacred institution.
Navaan: It's a pity that a woman that hot is such a prude. Because I want to BEEEP BEEEEEP BEEPBEEPBEEEP her right before I BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEP right there on the bar.
Jono: …. Guh. Er. I mean. Notes. New Dean had no idea what to make of Tiny and his cravat, but the real news here is that he let Bo choose his drink for him and wound up with a Buttface. That's what you get, mate.
Navaan: Heh. Heh heh heh. Heh. Buttface.
Jono: Indeed. Jaina got the warning that spoiling Tiny about the episode after would only end in tears, New Dean hit on Natasha when she stopped in to order a vodka, and she and Bo agreed that hospital disinfectant vodka is really only good for disinfecting hospitals. Or blowing things up.
Navaan: As the resident doctor here, I feel that I should speak to this issue. Now then, hospital disinfectant vodka is actually used for--hey! There's another unopened bottle of rum here! Dibs!
*Sounds of a scuffle*
Jono: … And now I can check 'witness a vampire fighting squirrels, half-naked, over a bottle of rum' off of my bucket list. Good, I was worried about that. At Caritas, April was celebrating being back to normal by offering a forty percent discount on all first drinks of the evening, which our new mayor, Ron Swanson, took advantage of that deal by ordering a Scotch and no conversation, which somehow led to April showing him a picture of me as an example of the island's strangeness. Thank you, April. I'm touched.
Navaan: Ow! Little bastards. Gimme some of notes. The squirrels won’t share their rum and I'm bored. Unless you'd rather--BEEP. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEP?
Jono: As flattered as I am by that offer, and as romantic as it might seem while surrounded by trolleyed rodents and broadcasting to the entire island, I'm afraid I'm going to have to respectfully decline, luv.
Navaan: Your loss. I give a mean rear cruntknockling. Anyway--oooh. It sounds like there was an ‘adult party’ yesterday. Why wasn’t I invited? I’m great at parties! Especially adult ones! I have this party trick where I take my tongue and--
Jono: Children listen to this broadcast!
Navaan: This is educational! Anyway, so I--
Jono: Notes.
Navaan: Spoilsport. Fine, but that just means you won’t find out what I can do until after the broadcast. Anyway, on to probably the most fun thing I've heard about on the island the whole time I've been here, the 'adult party' enjoyed some mingling. Probably of fluids and bodyparts. Hot. Anyway, someone named Stiles was there, lucky bastard, and some other guy named Derek was unhappy about that. Oh. Is Stiles a siffy? That's not cool to have at an adult party. Don't worry, though. You can come to the clinic and get fixed right up. I'm a doctor!
Jono: … Must be eighteen or older to enter, offer not valid in some states...
Navaan: But then the notes say that Derek started stealing all of Stiles's drinks and that is just not ON. You can't have drinks and NOT invite me! Anyway, Kitty--is this a person or a euphemism?
Jono: Person.
Navaan: You sure? I've done a LOT of interesting bodyshots over the years.
Jono: Absolutely.
Navaan: Kay. So, this Kitty-who-is-a-person gave whatshisface drinks anyway, which is nice because most people don't share with siffies. Cause they're the gift that keeps on giving, if you know what I mean .Mike was there, too, cause I guess it was his house...Oh, wait, the sexy guy? The one with the abs I wanna bite? Don't give me that look...whatever your name is. I'll bite your abs, too. Anyway, Siffy thanked him for putting on a great party, which he knew it was because people were there. People don't normally come to Siffy's party. Well, I think we can all guess why. Seriously, Siffy. Clinic, stat. Then people will want to come to your adult parties, too. HA! See what I did there?
Jono: About as subtle as a brick, aren't you, luv?
Navaan: Oh, I was talking about sex.
Jono: I'm gobsmacked.
Navaan: Huh. And here I thought your name started with a 'J.' No wonder I couldn't remember. That name is stupid. Anyway, there was someone named Buffy--is that another euphemism? This party sounds awesome--and she didn't know anyone except Eric. Which was awkward because he's a vampire and she's a vampire-slayer and--Wait! We let people like that on the island? Isn't there some kind of policy?! You just remember that doctors have diplomatic immunity! No slaying the sexy doctors! There aren't enough of us as it is! Speaking of Eric had some kind of creepy door-loitering vibe going on. I've seen him. He could rock that look. Plus, doorways are great for flang. The lintel gives you something to hold onto while the other person--
Jono: -- performs daring acrobatics which we're not discussing on the radio.
Navaan: You know, for someone who enjoyed that very thing just a few weeks ago, you're awfully stuffy, Gobs.
Jono: … Please don't call me that.
Navaan: That's an issue you need to take up with whatever hateful parent named you 'Gobsmacked.' Poor bugger. Anyway, stop interrupting me. I'm covering the adult party and it's about to get good. And finally. Because this island is filled with sexy people and there's not NEARLY enough sex happening. What's wrong with every person on this island? It's like this is the island the getting laid fairy--I met her, she's awesome, and damn can she BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP--forgot.
Jono: … Hnngh.
Navaan: Okay, so we have sexily-lurking Eric in the doorway and then grumpily-lurking Derek in the corner. Mike came to make him feel better, heh heh, you saw what I did there again, right? And then Derek offered to go get rabbits for the guests. See, folks? That's hospitality. Plus, after the first few rounds, you get pretty hungry, so you need to eat something to get your stamina back. Like bunnies.
Jono: The notes mention rabbits and your brain goes to eating them? I'm actually surprised by that. Sarah was less than pleased by Clint's face, while Clint was less than disappointed about Guy having left the island. Meanwhile Kitty, who I think it's safe to assume is pleased by Clint's face, was drunk-texting him from across the room. Another sacred institution, that. Right along with snacks and drinks, which Mike had set up for the party-goers. Of course, that's why Kitty was so drunk. The Jell-O shots had her impressed, and she drafted Mike into helping her keep count on how many she was throwing back all night. Also at the party, dark corners, perfect for lurking, and a floor, which, presumably, was perfect for dancing on.
Navaan: There were probably also tables for that. And counters. And maybe poles. This is an adult party we're talking about. One that lacked proper medical supervision, might I add.
Jono: Sigh.
Navaan: So...we're out of notes. Now what?
Jono: … I suppose you get back to whatever you were doing with th'squirrels, and I head back to the Boards?
Navaan: Is it daylight? I can't leave in the daylight. It's a...doctor allergy, Miss Buffy Person. No reason to get all murdery.
Jono: And ditto to you, New Dean. Much as sometimes it pains me. Yes, Navaan, it's daylight out.
Navaan: I don't have my doctor suit! I don't wanna explode!
Jono: … Sad girl eyes. Of course it's the sad girl eyes. Here, luv... take th'coat, and I'll carry you back to wherever you call home.
Navaan: Thanks, Gobsy. You're the best. I can show you that tongue thing I mentioned when we get back to the newspaper office.
Jono: *Coughs* … We'll see.
Navaan: Well, if you'd prefer, I can just BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP--
*Dead air*
no subject