Evan Sabahnur (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
genesishero) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandom_radio2012-11-05 08:24 am
genesishero) wrote in fandom_radio2012-11-05 08:24 am
Fandom Radio, Monday, November 5th
Oof- hey! You don't need to get pushy, I'm coming! I-- Oh! Does that light mean that I'm on? Um. Hi, everyone! The squirrels got me out of bed this morning and told me that I'm probably one of the few people who wasn't going to try to hide under a rock this morning before dragging me to the radio station. So, um... Hi! I'm Evan Sabahnur, and I guess I'm reading from this stack of notes?
*Chitter!*
… And rambling a little bit, apparently. I'm sorry! I just never had to do anything like this back in Kansas!
Okay, first up are notes about School! … There... are no notes about school. Not even people reading in the library? I like the library!
*Chittering more!*
Right! Then I'll just move on to notes about the Dorms, where-- There... wasn't anybody either. Come on guys, is this some kind of joke? I mean, I know the dorms were pretty quiet yesterday. I just figured everyone was in post-Halloween sugar crash mode or something! Okay, we'll try one more time.
In Town, there-- Wow that's a lot of notes. Okay, now I know why the Dorms were all quiet! You guys were all in town! Maybe I missed another fair or something. If that's the case, so did Carl Kolchak, who spent his day reminiscing with his dog at the Fandom Island Gazette building. I do that sometimes too, when I get a little homesick. Dinah and Priestly were in the graveyard talking about marriage- Congratulations!- when Pinkie Pie showed up calling Priestly her son and-- I DON'T WANT TO READ THESE NOTES ANY MORE!
*Frantic chittering!*
What do you mean, 'just like TV?'
*Chittering!*
… Everyone's okay?
*Chitter.
… Okay. I'll keep reading. At the hotel, Stiles was in the... um... Stripper Pole Suite... when Derek came in all grumpy because some vampire in town was touching Stiles. Stiles managed to get Derek to calm down, though! With cuddling! And... handcuffs? Um. That's not any cuddling I'm comfortable with, I don't think. So, maybe I just move on to the next note. Cade and Atton! They met at the diamond mine - we have one of those here? - and talked about Luke getting them the deed for it. And then Cade told everyone that Luke was his father. Father Jonothon was at the Boards Orphanage with little baby Angelo, who I guess is also called Jims? And Cade showed up to say that he grew up in a place like that... which I guess means that Luke wasn't much of a father to him, ow... and he and the Father talked about the slippery slope that a sushi addiction can be.
Okay, I think you guys are just messing with me, now.
Korra stopped by to sell Jono some 'fire insurance' with airquotes around it and everything, and he gave his monthly payment in coffee. That sounds like a good deal! A baby who I guess was Agent Coulson was delivered to the orphanage to be taken care of, and Tara came back to reminisce and ask about a medallion, and she and Father Jonothon realized they're both a part of Clan Akkaba.
… That's a really weird name. Who wrote this stuff, anyhow?
Olive, who I guess is going by Olivia now, was watching the ocean from the Rocky Bits when Atton found her and offered her some gum that she couldn't chew with her skin condition anyhow. Maybe he was just offering in order to make up for ruining her career? Jessica got to hear all about Olive's skin condition, which I guess is freckles. I was way more worried than I should have been about that, I think. Victor told Olivia that she's still beautiful, freckles or none, and told her about his voice amnesia... Is that a real thing? I don't even know any more.
Cara was brooding over her troubles at the Perk while dressed up really nicely when Jim offered to buy her a few drinks - They would only serve me soda when I went there last night. I just wanted a coffee! - and talked her into going home with him! Sia had personality troubles in the streets, and was trying to fight them off when Natalie showed up only to be blackmailed for money by Mia. Are you squirrels sure none of this really matters right now? I don't think--
*Chitter!!*
-- Okay, I'm reading! Sheesh! Juliet tried to get Sia to move out of her way, but it just ended in an argument about who loved who. Sounds complicated. At the docks, Sam LaCroix was thinking about his blindness when Natalie told him about her husband coming to kill her! What?! And then Sam jumped off the pier!? I really don't want to read these notes any more!
*Chitter! Sounds of acorns being thrown!*
Ow! What do you mean, they'll be back next episode? And it's just like back home? What's that even-- *thunk!* Okay, okay, I'm reading! Karolina was looking at jewelry at Diamond in the Rough. Jim talked to her about thoughtfulness and then weddings, and then, in exchange for a diamond necklace, she agreed to *murmurmumblecough.* Um. At Demon Marcus, Sparkle had both a hangover and the Hope Diamond, and that's somehow the least weird thing I've read today. Right up there with Bruce trying to give himself a head injury at the park to cure his amnesia. Does that even really work? Officer Clint Barton was looking at paperwork at the Trooper Station when Guy, who also works there, found him and reunited with his long lost twin! Finally we get a happy story! Clint also promised to keep Katherine safe after she came to report Atton offering her gum. I know gum chewing is a filthy habit, but I didn't think it was that bad. And Rilla stopped by to report how her ex-husband Bruce stood her up. Wow, the law must be way more strict around here than I thought... Oh, and in the streets, Allie was whispering to herself as she walked around. Which is way less weird than a lot of the other notes I've read this morning.
But look, this next bit of notes must be happy news, too! Because it's a wedding! … Please don't mess this up, guys. It's probably really important to Jaina, who's on wedding number thirteen, and to her true love, Mr. Benedict Swaddlepants. There was some time before the wedding for the bride and groom to get ready, which is when Charles Stark-Bass showed up, back from the dead with a new face, to find out Benedict's intentions. Tyrion told Benedict to watch his back, which I'm going to choose to believe means that there was some lint on his jacket. Sam Winchester, meanwhile, has found the will. Why are they talking about a will at a wedding? It's a wedding! You talk about wills at funerals guys you are doing weddings wrong!
*THUNK!*
I'm reading!! Look, there was an audience at the wedding, which is actually right so far. Bruce's amnesia went away just in time for his wife Cassidy to find him. Cassidy, you're married?! Wow. Congratulations? Um. It was Little Baby Phil's bottle time, so Father Jonothon fed him one before the wedding started. Good plan. Feeding them before stuff like that means that they don't interrupt anything important! Luke asked Anakin Skywalker for a favor on the day of his granddaughter's wedding, which just wound up with Anakin having Luke dragged away. Katherine was happy to be at the wedding until Atton dropped gum at her, and I really what to know what's up with this gum, guys.
And then it was time for the best part of the wedding! Jaina made her way to the altar, and then... Then... Little Baby Phil was... really... a... THIS IS THE WORST WEDDING EVER. Baby Phil was really an assassin and he shot Jaina and then Benedict was really Tony Stark and Jaina fell into a coma and Stacey died of a rare tropical disease and Bruce's amnesia put him into a coma but he was cured earlier and how did this wedding even happen? This is horrible and you people are all insane!!
*Chittering*
… Okay. Okay, I'll read these notes about the last things in town, and then I'm never reading radio again. I liked the island way better when I could pretend quiet days in the dorms were just because everyone was tired after Halloween.
Cade and Atton blew up the diamond mine because... I guess mining is hard work? And then they rode out of there on motorbikes. This is kind of normal compared to the wedding, I think. At the Perk, Victor Mancha had a concert. I went to that! Victor sings really well! A bunch of other people were there, too, including Jessica who threw smiley-face underwear at the stage. And then Victor and Annie were reunited and they decided to see the world together. Which means that yesterday kind of ended on a happy note, which is nice, after all of the... the killing and villainy that was going on yesterday.
So... that's all the notes.
Now, if everyone will excuse me, I need to go back to my room now, and curl up with my puppy, and re-think my entire life.
*Chitter!*
… And rambling a little bit, apparently. I'm sorry! I just never had to do anything like this back in Kansas!
Okay, first up are notes about School! … There... are no notes about school. Not even people reading in the library? I like the library!
*Chittering more!*
Right! Then I'll just move on to notes about the Dorms, where-- There... wasn't anybody either. Come on guys, is this some kind of joke? I mean, I know the dorms were pretty quiet yesterday. I just figured everyone was in post-Halloween sugar crash mode or something! Okay, we'll try one more time.
In Town, there-- Wow that's a lot of notes. Okay, now I know why the Dorms were all quiet! You guys were all in town! Maybe I missed another fair or something. If that's the case, so did Carl Kolchak, who spent his day reminiscing with his dog at the Fandom Island Gazette building. I do that sometimes too, when I get a little homesick. Dinah and Priestly were in the graveyard talking about marriage- Congratulations!- when Pinkie Pie showed up calling Priestly her son and-- I DON'T WANT TO READ THESE NOTES ANY MORE!
*Frantic chittering!*
What do you mean, 'just like TV?'
*Chittering!*
… Everyone's okay?
*Chitter.
… Okay. I'll keep reading. At the hotel, Stiles was in the... um... Stripper Pole Suite... when Derek came in all grumpy because some vampire in town was touching Stiles. Stiles managed to get Derek to calm down, though! With cuddling! And... handcuffs? Um. That's not any cuddling I'm comfortable with, I don't think. So, maybe I just move on to the next note. Cade and Atton! They met at the diamond mine - we have one of those here? - and talked about Luke getting them the deed for it. And then Cade told everyone that Luke was his father. Father Jonothon was at the Boards Orphanage with little baby Angelo, who I guess is also called Jims? And Cade showed up to say that he grew up in a place like that... which I guess means that Luke wasn't much of a father to him, ow... and he and the Father talked about the slippery slope that a sushi addiction can be.
Okay, I think you guys are just messing with me, now.
Korra stopped by to sell Jono some 'fire insurance' with airquotes around it and everything, and he gave his monthly payment in coffee. That sounds like a good deal! A baby who I guess was Agent Coulson was delivered to the orphanage to be taken care of, and Tara came back to reminisce and ask about a medallion, and she and Father Jonothon realized they're both a part of Clan Akkaba.
… That's a really weird name. Who wrote this stuff, anyhow?
Olive, who I guess is going by Olivia now, was watching the ocean from the Rocky Bits when Atton found her and offered her some gum that she couldn't chew with her skin condition anyhow. Maybe he was just offering in order to make up for ruining her career? Jessica got to hear all about Olive's skin condition, which I guess is freckles. I was way more worried than I should have been about that, I think. Victor told Olivia that she's still beautiful, freckles or none, and told her about his voice amnesia... Is that a real thing? I don't even know any more.
Cara was brooding over her troubles at the Perk while dressed up really nicely when Jim offered to buy her a few drinks - They would only serve me soda when I went there last night. I just wanted a coffee! - and talked her into going home with him! Sia had personality troubles in the streets, and was trying to fight them off when Natalie showed up only to be blackmailed for money by Mia. Are you squirrels sure none of this really matters right now? I don't think--
*Chitter!!*
-- Okay, I'm reading! Sheesh! Juliet tried to get Sia to move out of her way, but it just ended in an argument about who loved who. Sounds complicated. At the docks, Sam LaCroix was thinking about his blindness when Natalie told him about her husband coming to kill her! What?! And then Sam jumped off the pier!? I really don't want to read these notes any more!
*Chitter! Sounds of acorns being thrown!*
Ow! What do you mean, they'll be back next episode? And it's just like back home? What's that even-- *thunk!* Okay, okay, I'm reading! Karolina was looking at jewelry at Diamond in the Rough. Jim talked to her about thoughtfulness and then weddings, and then, in exchange for a diamond necklace, she agreed to *murmurmumblecough.* Um. At Demon Marcus, Sparkle had both a hangover and the Hope Diamond, and that's somehow the least weird thing I've read today. Right up there with Bruce trying to give himself a head injury at the park to cure his amnesia. Does that even really work? Officer Clint Barton was looking at paperwork at the Trooper Station when Guy, who also works there, found him and reunited with his long lost twin! Finally we get a happy story! Clint also promised to keep Katherine safe after she came to report Atton offering her gum. I know gum chewing is a filthy habit, but I didn't think it was that bad. And Rilla stopped by to report how her ex-husband Bruce stood her up. Wow, the law must be way more strict around here than I thought... Oh, and in the streets, Allie was whispering to herself as she walked around. Which is way less weird than a lot of the other notes I've read this morning.
But look, this next bit of notes must be happy news, too! Because it's a wedding! … Please don't mess this up, guys. It's probably really important to Jaina, who's on wedding number thirteen, and to her true love, Mr. Benedict Swaddlepants. There was some time before the wedding for the bride and groom to get ready, which is when Charles Stark-Bass showed up, back from the dead with a new face, to find out Benedict's intentions. Tyrion told Benedict to watch his back, which I'm going to choose to believe means that there was some lint on his jacket. Sam Winchester, meanwhile, has found the will. Why are they talking about a will at a wedding? It's a wedding! You talk about wills at funerals guys you are doing weddings wrong!
*THUNK!*
I'm reading!! Look, there was an audience at the wedding, which is actually right so far. Bruce's amnesia went away just in time for his wife Cassidy to find him. Cassidy, you're married?! Wow. Congratulations? Um. It was Little Baby Phil's bottle time, so Father Jonothon fed him one before the wedding started. Good plan. Feeding them before stuff like that means that they don't interrupt anything important! Luke asked Anakin Skywalker for a favor on the day of his granddaughter's wedding, which just wound up with Anakin having Luke dragged away. Katherine was happy to be at the wedding until Atton dropped gum at her, and I really what to know what's up with this gum, guys.
And then it was time for the best part of the wedding! Jaina made her way to the altar, and then... Then... Little Baby Phil was... really... a... THIS IS THE WORST WEDDING EVER. Baby Phil was really an assassin and he shot Jaina and then Benedict was really Tony Stark and Jaina fell into a coma and Stacey died of a rare tropical disease and Bruce's amnesia put him into a coma but he was cured earlier and how did this wedding even happen? This is horrible and you people are all insane!!
*Chittering*
… Okay. Okay, I'll read these notes about the last things in town, and then I'm never reading radio again. I liked the island way better when I could pretend quiet days in the dorms were just because everyone was tired after Halloween.
Cade and Atton blew up the diamond mine because... I guess mining is hard work? And then they rode out of there on motorbikes. This is kind of normal compared to the wedding, I think. At the Perk, Victor Mancha had a concert. I went to that! Victor sings really well! A bunch of other people were there, too, including Jessica who threw smiley-face underwear at the stage. And then Victor and Annie were reunited and they decided to see the world together. Which means that yesterday kind of ended on a happy note, which is nice, after all of the... the killing and villainy that was going on yesterday.
So... that's all the notes.
Now, if everyone will excuse me, I need to go back to my room now, and curl up with my puppy, and re-think my entire life.