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fandom_radio2012-10-21 01:37 pm
yakkoyaks.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2012-10-21 01:37 pm
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Yakko's Radio Story Time, Sunday, October 21
Announcer: Gather round, little children, because it's story time with Yakko Warner!
Yakko: Hello, children. My name is Yakko, and I'm here to tell you all about everything that happened yesterday, but in story form. It all started when our hero, Jesse Newssquirrel, woke up.
"I sure would like an adventure in another world today," Jesse said, in squirrel-talk. Fortunately, Jesse was the master of a genie who played more by the generic gist of the law rather than the actual letter of it, so the fact that this wasn't quite a wish didn't stop him from sending Jesse to a fascinating new land inhabited by strange creatures and even stranger people.
Jesse arrived in the third floor common room, where one of those strange people, a tiny hermit named Topher, hoped nobody else would show up while he ate breakfast. Jesse stayed hidden behind a nearby couch to observe as the hermit's peace was disturbed by others.
The first disruption was from Olive, who leaped out of the martini she was sitting in on the counter - which was the property of an older teenager who had to deal with all of these kids and was a classy drunk. Jesse witnessed these two, who had a troubled past that they did not remember, set aside their differences to discuss putting stuff in people's hair. The mysterious child called Jaq showed up, perplexing people because 'Jaq' wasn't even close to his real name, so he was clearly just trying to confuse everyone. But that's just the kind of thing that happened when your galaxy was at war, like Jaq's was. Olive tried to teach herself enough astronomy to figure out where Jaq came from, but it was no use.
Toby was fearful when he also disturbed the hermit Topher's breakfast, but he had nothing to fear. Topher was not violent enough to be a bully! Jesse was relieved for the fearful child. Olive offered Toby some cereal, but he was fearful of that, too! Was it poison? If you want Toby to try find out, turn to page 39. If you want Toby to run away and call the police on a presumed poisoner, run to your nearest phone and dial 911. And finally, Jaq and Toby discussed how to stay safe without adults around and where the non-poisoned food was.
After dashing up the counter to drink that martini I mentioned earlier, Jesse Squirrel decided it was time to leave the hermit's non-hermetical realm and investigate a far away land called the second floor common room, where a giant named Tony brewed a fantastical potion for himself and waffles for any children he found. Jesse took cover behind the coffee maker this time, the smell giving the intrepid squirrel the energy to make it through this adventure! Marasiah wanted some of Tony's caffeinated brew. Deciding that it was her own fault if she thought it was terrible, Tony gave her some and it was deemed gross. Lex arrived and, after taking a waffle, he discussed legacies with Tony, proving that even though one is a child and the other is a giant, we aren't so different after all.
Another giant named Alec requested some of Tony's concoction and was hateful about the tiny children populating this wonderful world of Fandom. But the balance was tipped toward children once again when Dorry gave us all something to call her when we're out of this kidly storybook and she wants to be called her regular nickname.
After getting that gold nugget, Jesse Squirrel hurried off to make a note of it out in town. And we'll come back to Jesse's town adventures soon enough, but for now, let's stay in the dorms because Jesse decided to return in the evening. Olive built a fort with her puppy in the fourth floor common room. Jesse was scared, but did an astounding job investigating using hidden microphones and anti-dog spray.
Victor came into the fort to play with Olive and remember, this is a PG-rated story. Topher brought his robot dog to the fort, and Jesse prepared a tiny EMP transmitter just in case doggish instincts kicked in. Also, Topher talked to Victor and Olive, who eventually gave him a hug for being bullied.
But Jesse didn't care for such sentimentality, so down the hall it was to Room 401 where Alec's headphones weren't working to hide him from children. Victor came by and diagnosed the headphones' problem. And a giant named Jace showed up to talk about giant things like dates, and Jesse wasn't down with that.
Over in the town, Jesse arrived at 33 Apocalypse, where Jan and Emma had what we're going to call a very awkward sleepover, where Jan wakes up to find out that he can't speak English. But TV is the language of all nations, so they just watched that. Kaiden eventually joined the language difficulties and Jan was forced to just point at things.
Over at a much larger house, Jesse found Derek and his puppy friend having a very fun time. When giant Stiles showed up, he introduced himself as a babysitter and not a clear and present stranger danger. Fellow giant Mike had an even more confusing conversation with Derek because he's not immediately used to the weird parts of Fandom yet. A teeny tiny pony named Pinkie was in the back yard, where Derek found her and invited her in. She asked if he was a bear. It was reportedly adorable. And then finally, Derek was happy when Blysse showed up with her huge wolf. And then Jesse ran off because that was one giant wolf too many!
At the Arms Hotel, Cara woke up very tiny in a very large room while Karla and Warren also had an ill-fated sleepover. But at least they could speak the same language. And down by the Rocky Bits, a coyote pup barked at Cade for jumping off of anything he could find.
Once Jesse had seen all of this, it was clear the island had more to offer. Like businesses! Where Topher tried to build stuff at Starks, or Cafe Luke's where Dinah and Priestly were stuck in a pantry until Momoko rescued them. Or there was the Gig, where a giant Dani suddenly had mini-horses.
At the Boards, a giant Jono made Halloween plans when Liara made her presence known by showing up tiny and blue. And that coyote pup from earlier came by and slept on Jono's lap.
Giant Kitty - who is not a huge cat - had a computer at The Perk, but no service because all of the baristas were kids. I threw a doll at her because she was asking for it. She tried to talk tiny Derek into making friends. And Kitty ended up making the itty bitty Clint some hot chocolate.
Tiny was like his namesake at the Devil's Nest, but Bo was still the future Mrs Warner. Mike got the rundown and some inappropriate flirting from Bo - there were CHILDREN around, honey! You'll make them cry. She also make children cry by flirting with Max, who was also a giant but not actually interested so I don't have even more competition.
And then the children, weeping that Bo refused to flirt with me just because I'm a young cartoon character who wasn't there, came in and started demanding the hard stuff to deal with such trauma. First off was Toby, who was on a milkshake limit. Savannah wanted a healthy chocolate milkshake. Jan went the other direction and wanted as much chocolate as possible.
But then MORE GIANTS showed up. Kenzi dealt with the tiny Toby before needing to get a drink from Bo. And then, in the middle of all of this, Jesse Squirrel saw something amazing: Jan was able to have a conversation with Kenzi. It was bound to happen with someone eventually! Laurie had to explain what a rugrat was to Savannah, Bo had to explain the weekend to Laurie. And Toby had to explain that he came to a bar by himself to Laurie. And then Jesse barhopped.
Tiny little April was bossing around Tino at Caritas when Jaq came in and there was an argument about the proper serving temperature of milk, so Jesse fled again, through a portal that top the squirrel back in time to EARLIER THAT AFTERNOON AT A CARNIVAL.
Yes, a carnival, with food, and benches, and rides, and games, and booths. And among those booths were hugging booths, and dunk tanks, and pie tossing. And in those pies were fruits and pastry shells, and shaving cream. And in that shaving cream was...
Wait, sorry, got carried away.
Over by the roller coaster, Momoko met up with Jaime, who promised to watch her on the ride. Little Annie and Giant Rilla wanted to feed ponies. Dinah and Momoko went to war over the queenship of a castle fun house while Jaime watched, which eventually was settled with Dinah getting a butterfly painted on her face while talking to Jaime.
Korra left Naga at the petting zoo to be petted by all kinds of filthy-handed children - don't deny it, kids, you know it's true. Karla seemed to hug all of the girls while Momoko sought out hugs from Stacey, Hanna, and Loki, although she had to rethink that last one.
Korra braved a dunk tank without any inflatable help, although she did end up trying to shame the cocky former-Principal-now-little-kid Zoe by throwing water on her. And Anakin was confident he'd stay dry until Jaina strolled up and proved him wrong.
And by the pies, Max had pies thrown at him by Jaye, who was the one who signed up in the first place. Momoko was happy to have a booth, too, but she ended up mostly just callingMax out as Yakuza.
And with that slur, the carnival was over. And with that, the genie brought Jesse Squirrel back home, where they lived happily ever after if you forget that the genie is kind of dangerous and Jesse doesn't care enough. The end.
Farewell, children. I'll talk to you again next week.
Yakko: Hello, children. My name is Yakko, and I'm here to tell you all about everything that happened yesterday, but in story form. It all started when our hero, Jesse Newssquirrel, woke up.
"I sure would like an adventure in another world today," Jesse said, in squirrel-talk. Fortunately, Jesse was the master of a genie who played more by the generic gist of the law rather than the actual letter of it, so the fact that this wasn't quite a wish didn't stop him from sending Jesse to a fascinating new land inhabited by strange creatures and even stranger people.
Jesse arrived in the third floor common room, where one of those strange people, a tiny hermit named Topher, hoped nobody else would show up while he ate breakfast. Jesse stayed hidden behind a nearby couch to observe as the hermit's peace was disturbed by others.
The first disruption was from Olive, who leaped out of the martini she was sitting in on the counter - which was the property of an older teenager who had to deal with all of these kids and was a classy drunk. Jesse witnessed these two, who had a troubled past that they did not remember, set aside their differences to discuss putting stuff in people's hair. The mysterious child called Jaq showed up, perplexing people because 'Jaq' wasn't even close to his real name, so he was clearly just trying to confuse everyone. But that's just the kind of thing that happened when your galaxy was at war, like Jaq's was. Olive tried to teach herself enough astronomy to figure out where Jaq came from, but it was no use.
Toby was fearful when he also disturbed the hermit Topher's breakfast, but he had nothing to fear. Topher was not violent enough to be a bully! Jesse was relieved for the fearful child. Olive offered Toby some cereal, but he was fearful of that, too! Was it poison? If you want Toby to try find out, turn to page 39. If you want Toby to run away and call the police on a presumed poisoner, run to your nearest phone and dial 911. And finally, Jaq and Toby discussed how to stay safe without adults around and where the non-poisoned food was.
After dashing up the counter to drink that martini I mentioned earlier, Jesse Squirrel decided it was time to leave the hermit's non-hermetical realm and investigate a far away land called the second floor common room, where a giant named Tony brewed a fantastical potion for himself and waffles for any children he found. Jesse took cover behind the coffee maker this time, the smell giving the intrepid squirrel the energy to make it through this adventure! Marasiah wanted some of Tony's caffeinated brew. Deciding that it was her own fault if she thought it was terrible, Tony gave her some and it was deemed gross. Lex arrived and, after taking a waffle, he discussed legacies with Tony, proving that even though one is a child and the other is a giant, we aren't so different after all.
Another giant named Alec requested some of Tony's concoction and was hateful about the tiny children populating this wonderful world of Fandom. But the balance was tipped toward children once again when Dorry gave us all something to call her when we're out of this kidly storybook and she wants to be called her regular nickname.
After getting that gold nugget, Jesse Squirrel hurried off to make a note of it out in town. And we'll come back to Jesse's town adventures soon enough, but for now, let's stay in the dorms because Jesse decided to return in the evening. Olive built a fort with her puppy in the fourth floor common room. Jesse was scared, but did an astounding job investigating using hidden microphones and anti-dog spray.
Victor came into the fort to play with Olive and remember, this is a PG-rated story. Topher brought his robot dog to the fort, and Jesse prepared a tiny EMP transmitter just in case doggish instincts kicked in. Also, Topher talked to Victor and Olive, who eventually gave him a hug for being bullied.
But Jesse didn't care for such sentimentality, so down the hall it was to Room 401 where Alec's headphones weren't working to hide him from children. Victor came by and diagnosed the headphones' problem. And a giant named Jace showed up to talk about giant things like dates, and Jesse wasn't down with that.
Over in the town, Jesse arrived at 33 Apocalypse, where Jan and Emma had what we're going to call a very awkward sleepover, where Jan wakes up to find out that he can't speak English. But TV is the language of all nations, so they just watched that. Kaiden eventually joined the language difficulties and Jan was forced to just point at things.
Over at a much larger house, Jesse found Derek and his puppy friend having a very fun time. When giant Stiles showed up, he introduced himself as a babysitter and not a clear and present stranger danger. Fellow giant Mike had an even more confusing conversation with Derek because he's not immediately used to the weird parts of Fandom yet. A teeny tiny pony named Pinkie was in the back yard, where Derek found her and invited her in. She asked if he was a bear. It was reportedly adorable. And then finally, Derek was happy when Blysse showed up with her huge wolf. And then Jesse ran off because that was one giant wolf too many!
At the Arms Hotel, Cara woke up very tiny in a very large room while Karla and Warren also had an ill-fated sleepover. But at least they could speak the same language. And down by the Rocky Bits, a coyote pup barked at Cade for jumping off of anything he could find.
Once Jesse had seen all of this, it was clear the island had more to offer. Like businesses! Where Topher tried to build stuff at Starks, or Cafe Luke's where Dinah and Priestly were stuck in a pantry until Momoko rescued them. Or there was the Gig, where a giant Dani suddenly had mini-horses.
At the Boards, a giant Jono made Halloween plans when Liara made her presence known by showing up tiny and blue. And that coyote pup from earlier came by and slept on Jono's lap.
Giant Kitty - who is not a huge cat - had a computer at The Perk, but no service because all of the baristas were kids. I threw a doll at her because she was asking for it. She tried to talk tiny Derek into making friends. And Kitty ended up making the itty bitty Clint some hot chocolate.
Tiny was like his namesake at the Devil's Nest, but Bo was still the future Mrs Warner. Mike got the rundown and some inappropriate flirting from Bo - there were CHILDREN around, honey! You'll make them cry. She also make children cry by flirting with Max, who was also a giant but not actually interested so I don't have even more competition.
And then the children, weeping that Bo refused to flirt with me just because I'm a young cartoon character who wasn't there, came in and started demanding the hard stuff to deal with such trauma. First off was Toby, who was on a milkshake limit. Savannah wanted a healthy chocolate milkshake. Jan went the other direction and wanted as much chocolate as possible.
But then MORE GIANTS showed up. Kenzi dealt with the tiny Toby before needing to get a drink from Bo. And then, in the middle of all of this, Jesse Squirrel saw something amazing: Jan was able to have a conversation with Kenzi. It was bound to happen with someone eventually! Laurie had to explain what a rugrat was to Savannah, Bo had to explain the weekend to Laurie. And Toby had to explain that he came to a bar by himself to Laurie. And then Jesse barhopped.
Tiny little April was bossing around Tino at Caritas when Jaq came in and there was an argument about the proper serving temperature of milk, so Jesse fled again, through a portal that top the squirrel back in time to EARLIER THAT AFTERNOON AT A CARNIVAL.
Yes, a carnival, with food, and benches, and rides, and games, and booths. And among those booths were hugging booths, and dunk tanks, and pie tossing. And in those pies were fruits and pastry shells, and shaving cream. And in that shaving cream was...
Wait, sorry, got carried away.
Over by the roller coaster, Momoko met up with Jaime, who promised to watch her on the ride. Little Annie and Giant Rilla wanted to feed ponies. Dinah and Momoko went to war over the queenship of a castle fun house while Jaime watched, which eventually was settled with Dinah getting a butterfly painted on her face while talking to Jaime.
Korra left Naga at the petting zoo to be petted by all kinds of filthy-handed children - don't deny it, kids, you know it's true. Karla seemed to hug all of the girls while Momoko sought out hugs from Stacey, Hanna, and Loki, although she had to rethink that last one.
Korra braved a dunk tank without any inflatable help, although she did end up trying to shame the cocky former-Principal-now-little-kid Zoe by throwing water on her. And Anakin was confident he'd stay dry until Jaina strolled up and proved him wrong.
And by the pies, Max had pies thrown at him by Jaye, who was the one who signed up in the first place. Momoko was happy to have a booth, too, but she ended up mostly just callingMax out as Yakuza.
And with that slur, the carnival was over. And with that, the genie brought Jesse Squirrel back home, where they lived happily ever after if you forget that the genie is kind of dangerous and Jesse doesn't care enough. The end.
Farewell, children. I'll talk to you again next week.