http://gladigotburned.livejournal.com/ (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
gladigotburned.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandom_radio2012-09-23 11:09 pm
gladigotburned.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2012-09-23 11:09 pm
Fandom Radio, Monday, September 24
Oh, it's just you. *slightly indignant chittering* Just once I'd like to have the notes delivered by, oh, I don't know. Maybe a fox. Or a snake. *nervous chittering* Oh, don't look at me like that. They were the first things that came to mind! Isn't it an interesting coincidence that they all happen to think you make a tasty snack?
. . . look. Just give me the notes and I'll take the mobile zoo off speed dial.
School
And in class news for yesterday, there was a mandatory school-wide exam and all of you missed it. Needless to say, this means you all fail.
. . .
Oh, did you believe that? Then you do fail. At having a concept of time. If it makes you feel any better, if there really had been an exam you probably would have failed that too.
Dorms
Was no one concerned about sanitation issues in the dorms with all those animals running around? Clearly not, since Alex was just letting his lioness lounge around in the fifth floor common room and offer unsolicited advice on his video games. Jim and his ferret were on the deck, trying to get a tan, because clearly fur is not at all an impediment to effectively exposing oneself to excessive solar rays. God, I miss logic functioning properly. Lex's fox and Jim's ferret got to know each other, while Lex and Jim considered the possibility of needing therapy after that whole thing was over with. Darcy and Jim had ferrets in common, which is more than some people have bonded over, so that's something.
Surreal's giant puma was herding her around, which makes her question to Jim about whether they could make the daemons go away a little bit . . . lacking in self-preservation instinct. Because being too far away from the daemons hurt. Did you test that theory? Well, did you? Petra had a peacock and a brief moment of surprise that Jim's ferret was male, but she got over that and fixated on the daemons' strange names instead. As if humans don't all have strange names. Pointless, really, names. If you would all just go by serial numbers it would make my filing system a lot more efficient.
William was so preoccupied with worrying about his gibbon scampering close to the edges of the roof that he never noticed Anna and her raven approaching. Let's hope William never finds himself in a situation involving hostile ninjas.
In the third floor common room in the evening, Topher's jackal didn't do a thing to stop him from making grilled cheese with chocolate chips and onions.
. . .
Upon further consideration, the sanitation issue in the dorms should be an elevated concern. However, cause for concern doesn't stem from the daemons as previously hypothesized. If it did, I'd be talking about the sanitation issue in past tense. Ha ha.
Because they're gone now, aren't they? You can't really blame Juliet's arctic fox, getting ignored in favor of a book like that. Or Sia's tiger, because if I had a puppy trying to make friends with me I'd --
*STATIC BURST*
Town
Where was I? Oh, yes. About to comment on how town was overrun with excess animals, too, like the daemon and kitten Sparkle was letting play in the pile of clothes to burn at Demon Marcus.
What an interesting choice of playground.
Speaking of interesting -- [Sarcasm self-test complete.] Kenzi's meerkat apparently had the kind of taste in scarves that warranted compliments from Sparkle. When it comes to animals in clothing, I have plenty of scientific evidence that nothing looks as stupid as a squirrel in a fedora.
Aw. Clint's hawk was concerned about how much sugar he needed in his coffee at the Perk. Natasha didn't want him to say anything about her snow leopard, but she had some choice things to say about the size of the thing. That's not very fair, is it?
*BZZT!*
Not that I care about fair anyway. Kitty stopped by on her horse, and what are the points of comparison between a hawk and a horse, anyway, Kitty and Clint? Besides having the same first letter? Go on, share with the class. We'll wait. Any time. Any --
Never mind, I don't care about the answer, actually. At Stark Industries, Tony's snake had choice words about his coffee intake. Have you ever seen a caffeinated reptile?
Do you want to?
Because I have. That experiment turned out to be pretty pointless, if you must know.
Devil's Nest patrons must have really loved having Jaina's panther around. Eric, on the other hand, wasn't in a hurry to head up the fan club for his Clydesdale, because hooves are terribly non-conducive to effective silent stalking. Whether or not he actually managed to trade it for Jaina's panther is inconclusive, but my informed guess is that it was a miserable failure. I know so many of those, though. Sometimes they all blend together.
Moving on, to how Kaidan had to reschedule an appointment because his dog is a 'classified aspect' of Fandom. That's one way of putting it. Jack had a dog, too. Coincidence? Possibly. That's what they were trying to figure out anyway, but since things like animal personalities and envisioning their qualities aren't science, I really don't care about the answer.
Finally, because we're down to the last item, thank god, Dinah was out on the beach watching her very large, flying --
*really loud car alarm noises*
*burst of static*
[Generic prerecorded voice: The broadcast you are trying to reach is no longer in service. Please hang up. Don't try again.]
. . . look. Just give me the notes and I'll take the mobile zoo off speed dial.
School
And in class news for yesterday, there was a mandatory school-wide exam and all of you missed it. Needless to say, this means you all fail.
. . .
Oh, did you believe that? Then you do fail. At having a concept of time. If it makes you feel any better, if there really had been an exam you probably would have failed that too.
Dorms
Was no one concerned about sanitation issues in the dorms with all those animals running around? Clearly not, since Alex was just letting his lioness lounge around in the fifth floor common room and offer unsolicited advice on his video games. Jim and his ferret were on the deck, trying to get a tan, because clearly fur is not at all an impediment to effectively exposing oneself to excessive solar rays. God, I miss logic functioning properly. Lex's fox and Jim's ferret got to know each other, while Lex and Jim considered the possibility of needing therapy after that whole thing was over with. Darcy and Jim had ferrets in common, which is more than some people have bonded over, so that's something.
Surreal's giant puma was herding her around, which makes her question to Jim about whether they could make the daemons go away a little bit . . . lacking in self-preservation instinct. Because being too far away from the daemons hurt. Did you test that theory? Well, did you? Petra had a peacock and a brief moment of surprise that Jim's ferret was male, but she got over that and fixated on the daemons' strange names instead. As if humans don't all have strange names. Pointless, really, names. If you would all just go by serial numbers it would make my filing system a lot more efficient.
William was so preoccupied with worrying about his gibbon scampering close to the edges of the roof that he never noticed Anna and her raven approaching. Let's hope William never finds himself in a situation involving hostile ninjas.
In the third floor common room in the evening, Topher's jackal didn't do a thing to stop him from making grilled cheese with chocolate chips and onions.
. . .
Upon further consideration, the sanitation issue in the dorms should be an elevated concern. However, cause for concern doesn't stem from the daemons as previously hypothesized. If it did, I'd be talking about the sanitation issue in past tense. Ha ha.
Because they're gone now, aren't they? You can't really blame Juliet's arctic fox, getting ignored in favor of a book like that. Or Sia's tiger, because if I had a puppy trying to make friends with me I'd --
*STATIC BURST*
Town
Where was I? Oh, yes. About to comment on how town was overrun with excess animals, too, like the daemon and kitten Sparkle was letting play in the pile of clothes to burn at Demon Marcus.
What an interesting choice of playground.
Speaking of interesting -- [Sarcasm self-test complete.] Kenzi's meerkat apparently had the kind of taste in scarves that warranted compliments from Sparkle. When it comes to animals in clothing, I have plenty of scientific evidence that nothing looks as stupid as a squirrel in a fedora.
Aw. Clint's hawk was concerned about how much sugar he needed in his coffee at the Perk. Natasha didn't want him to say anything about her snow leopard, but she had some choice things to say about the size of the thing. That's not very fair, is it?
*BZZT!*
Not that I care about fair anyway. Kitty stopped by on her horse, and what are the points of comparison between a hawk and a horse, anyway, Kitty and Clint? Besides having the same first letter? Go on, share with the class. We'll wait. Any time. Any --
Never mind, I don't care about the answer, actually. At Stark Industries, Tony's snake had choice words about his coffee intake. Have you ever seen a caffeinated reptile?
Do you want to?
Because I have. That experiment turned out to be pretty pointless, if you must know.
Devil's Nest patrons must have really loved having Jaina's panther around. Eric, on the other hand, wasn't in a hurry to head up the fan club for his Clydesdale, because hooves are terribly non-conducive to effective silent stalking. Whether or not he actually managed to trade it for Jaina's panther is inconclusive, but my informed guess is that it was a miserable failure. I know so many of those, though. Sometimes they all blend together.
Moving on, to how Kaidan had to reschedule an appointment because his dog is a 'classified aspect' of Fandom. That's one way of putting it. Jack had a dog, too. Coincidence? Possibly. That's what they were trying to figure out anyway, but since things like animal personalities and envisioning their qualities aren't science, I really don't care about the answer.
Finally, because we're down to the last item, thank god, Dinah was out on the beach watching her very large, flying --
*really loud car alarm noises*
*burst of static*
[Generic prerecorded voice: The broadcast you are trying to reach is no longer in service. Please hang up. Don't try again.]