Jono Starsmore (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
furnaceface) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandom_radio2012-09-23 11:47 am
furnaceface) wrote in fandom_radio2012-09-23 11:47 am
Entry tags:
Fandom Radio, Sunday, September 23rd
But it's Sunday. Yes, yes, I know I missed Tuesday. I was busy on Tuesday. And don't any of you little rum-grubbers try to get Malanya drunk. So help me, I am not putting up with an inebriated bear. I need her to help me read these-
*Whispering*
… What?
*Murmur mumble murmur...*
Good bloody lord, kidnapped on a Sunday by a pack of squirrels and I get to keep company with a bear who gets flustered at the thought of speaking to crowds. Good morning, Fandom. This is Jonothon Starsmore, that awkward murmuring you'll be liable to hear while I read these notes is Malanya who is apparently a part of my bloody soul or some such rot, and the chittering, as always, is coming from the squirrels. Now I suppose I ought to get reading about this weekend's madness, hm?
For a touch of sanity, we'll start at the School, where Cassidy was re-shelving books in the library without incident. I imagine a good portion of the island's population envies you that, Cassidy. Enjoy it.
And now, onto the more insane bits, starting with the Dorms. Where, perhaps unsurprisingly, there was at least some measure of shrieking. Such as when Rilla woke up to a mouse on her pillow. Rilla, luv, I'll trade you. Your mouse for my bear. She also has an appreciation for gaudy hats that I imagine you'll enjoy.
*Murmuring!*
Yes, I know it doesn't work like that. I'm not near cruel enough to force anybody else to have to handle your food bill, you know.
*Huff!*
Natalie was ignoring the snow leopard in her room, and Ace was ignoring the black cat in hers. One of these things seems like a far more significant achievement than the other. My sympathies, Ace. I know what it's like to have a black cat who only wants to be fed while you're sleeping.
Elsewhere, Cade was having a few difficulties with a hyena eating all of the Cocoa Puffs in the third floor common room. This led to him having a conversation with Stiles about chocolatey cereals, which led, in turn, to a conversation about... talking... breasts. I. I don't think I actually have anything to say about that, except possibly how horrifying that is. Stiles and Sparkle spoke about how to properly treat a daemon, and if your daemons try to tell you that proper treatment involves letting them raid the pantry for you without supervision, they're lying. Stiles and Tony complained about how their respective daemons keep mothering them - mine used my full sodding name yesterday while she was lecturing me - and Topher and Stiles both got to hear about how they're each helpless virgins courtesy of their respective animal spirits.
… You might be useless on a radio, Malanya, but suddenly I realize that you could have been so much worse.
Victor lucked out with a raven who would only speak Spanish, though he and Cade complained about that fact. Just imagine all of the humiliating things your bird didn't say to other people about you, Victor. Just imagine. Or... make a horrifying breakfast omelette with Sparkle, if that's what suits you. Good lord. Victor and Tony spoke about how their daemons are something more spiritual in nature than most of Fandom's other madness, and Victor and Topher mostly just talked about laziness and sleep. I remember sleep. Sleep is something that happens when I'm not listening to my cat yowling at a bear all night.
Sparkle and Cade did the requisite complaining about being stuck to their daemons before discussing the difference between a weasel and an ermine. For those listeners at home, there isn't one. And they can also be referred to as stoats. There was your educational radio content for the day. Atton also complained with Sparkle, though their conversation took a turn into the more interesting topic that is alcohol.
Atton and Cade, both the charming, pleasant lads that they are, called one another's daemons ugly. Which they might very well have been. Tony was a bit concerned about the mangy state of Atton's wolf, which led him to accuse him of not caring about other living things. Though in the case of our daemons, I might argue that there's a bigger case there for self-loathing, isn't there? Apparently it turns right back around on us as well, as Tony and Sparkle's daemons mouthed off about them for a while before Tony and Sparkle turned the tables and discussed the metaphysical. And sock stealing. Two topics that clearly go hand-in-hand.
Cade and Tony learned the hard way that you can't wander too far from your daemon before they spoke of the Skywalkers, and what happened to them in Cade's time. And I find myself somehow unsurprised that you're from a reality with Skywalkers, Cade, I really do. I do, however, find myself stunned that Tony and Ulrik also managed to segue their conversation so that it included talking breasts.
Why so many talking breasts? Is this a thing we're doing here now? Really? Was 'talking breast day' something that I managed to sleep through or be off-island for? Because the other week when I had a pair of my own, they were wonderfully, blissfully mute.
Teenagers these days.
Korra and her polar bear dog wandered into the common room, and she was a bit thrown off by Sparkle's talking backpack. Which is a step up from that last topic of conversation, I should think. Cade didn't have a helpful answer for her when she asked where all of the talking animals came from, but Tony's daemon did after Tony congratulated her for having the largest animal in the room. Topher, being Topher, mostly just complained that she didn't have any new animals following her around.
Topher and Cade, in a move that will surprise nobody, insulted one another's daemons before Topher accused Cade's hyena of having no sense of humour. And Cade and Ulrik somehow managed to overcome their lack of talking naffin' breasts to recognize one another from the genderswap that happened the other week, before speaking of animal symbolism. If anybody has the faintest idea of what a tiny bear could possibly mean, please, do let me know. Mostly all I've gathered from my soul-animal-thing so far is that some part of me apparently enjoys honey very much.
*Murmurwhisper*
… And yellow... flowered... bonnets.
I'm going to read these notes from Town now, so that I can get the hell out of here. Possibly to contemplate my life choices over a large amount of squirrel rum.
At Derek's place, Derek and Jack bonded over their canine daemons and how it hurts to be separated from them, and then they spoke of babysitting teenaged vampires, and of the full moon. At the residence of one Miss Pie, Pinkie had a bit of a panic when she thought she was in the presence of a demon, but decided in short order that this whole daemon thing was cause for celebration, instead. And, over the night sky, Arietty was enjoying a flight with her talking fruit bat.
At the Boards yesterday, this mumbly thing keeping my company was trying on hats and trying to convince me that I don't hate this place. She'll have to try harder, if talking breasts are an actual thing. Kenzi stopped by for some speculation about what our daemons mean, and then her, her meerkat, and my bear all ganged up on me to deprive me coffee until I sang for them.
*Murmur?*
No, I am not going to sing on the air this morning. If you want people to hear that song so badly, you sing it.
…
Didn't think so.
Topher's jackal was adamant that she was not for testing on at Stark Industries. Alec and his snake showed Sparkle and his weasel how to shoot straight at the gym, and there was no way to read that note that wouldn't sound horribly inappropriate, I'm afraid. Cassie spent her day at the Magic Box, sitting and reading a book that caught her eye.
In more talking-booby news, because apparently that's the secondary theme for the weekend and I'm so very grateful that I missed that memo up until now, Priestly had one of the blue-footed persuasion at Café Luke's. Dinah stopped by to visit with a golden eagle, which Priestly quickly assured her is by far preferable to talking boobies.
I'm going to just head to Caritas and drink the entirety of their import lager stock after this broadcast, I think.
Carl was being badgered about his dog at the Fandom Island Gazette office yesterday, Evan and Yeul were in the park speculating over what in the world Evan's puppy could want while their swan and tortoise looked on, and Dani must not have gotten the memo that spending a night away from her daemon would be extremely uncomfortable, as she was trying to convince her horse to spend the night in the stables, as opposed to tracking hoofprints through her home.
At Caritas, April's raven frightened Tino off, which really isn't much of an accomplishment, is it? And at the Devil's Nest, Bo was arguing with her talking horse about how badly she needed a drink. If her day was anything like mine, I'd wager she needed that drink very badly indeed. Tyrion came in with a lioness and a very similar, very understandable need to be drinking right then. Kitty was a little disappointed that she wasn't the only one on the island with a horse, while Bo was mostly just surprised that Kitty's wasn't a cat, for obvious reasons.
Kenzi and her meerkat came in, and got to deal with Bo accusing her of being somehow responsible for the horse. If she is, then I have a bone to pick with her about this bear, here, as well. I doubt I'll somehow be so lucky, though. Toby stopped in with his rabbit and couldn't help but be impressed with Bo's horse, while Kenzi mostly just thought that the rabbit was absolutely adorable.
Kenzi also offered my bear fashion advice, so I'm deciding here and now that her opinion on all things related to this weirdness is suspect. No verdict as of yet about her opinion on talking breasts, mind.
*Murmble!*
Look, I only read the notes, I'm hardly the one who came up with the idea of them speaking in the first place. And now I'm going to go and attempt to purge my brain of that image with lager. A large amount of lager.
Have yourselves a good day, Fandom. Stick close to your mammals, reptiles, and talking boobies, and hopefully this whole thing will blow over before they eat us out of house and home.
*Whispering*
… What?
*Murmur mumble murmur...*
Good bloody lord, kidnapped on a Sunday by a pack of squirrels and I get to keep company with a bear who gets flustered at the thought of speaking to crowds. Good morning, Fandom. This is Jonothon Starsmore, that awkward murmuring you'll be liable to hear while I read these notes is Malanya who is apparently a part of my bloody soul or some such rot, and the chittering, as always, is coming from the squirrels. Now I suppose I ought to get reading about this weekend's madness, hm?
For a touch of sanity, we'll start at the School, where Cassidy was re-shelving books in the library without incident. I imagine a good portion of the island's population envies you that, Cassidy. Enjoy it.
And now, onto the more insane bits, starting with the Dorms. Where, perhaps unsurprisingly, there was at least some measure of shrieking. Such as when Rilla woke up to a mouse on her pillow. Rilla, luv, I'll trade you. Your mouse for my bear. She also has an appreciation for gaudy hats that I imagine you'll enjoy.
*Murmuring!*
Yes, I know it doesn't work like that. I'm not near cruel enough to force anybody else to have to handle your food bill, you know.
*Huff!*
Natalie was ignoring the snow leopard in her room, and Ace was ignoring the black cat in hers. One of these things seems like a far more significant achievement than the other. My sympathies, Ace. I know what it's like to have a black cat who only wants to be fed while you're sleeping.
Elsewhere, Cade was having a few difficulties with a hyena eating all of the Cocoa Puffs in the third floor common room. This led to him having a conversation with Stiles about chocolatey cereals, which led, in turn, to a conversation about... talking... breasts. I. I don't think I actually have anything to say about that, except possibly how horrifying that is. Stiles and Sparkle spoke about how to properly treat a daemon, and if your daemons try to tell you that proper treatment involves letting them raid the pantry for you without supervision, they're lying. Stiles and Tony complained about how their respective daemons keep mothering them - mine used my full sodding name yesterday while she was lecturing me - and Topher and Stiles both got to hear about how they're each helpless virgins courtesy of their respective animal spirits.
… You might be useless on a radio, Malanya, but suddenly I realize that you could have been so much worse.
Victor lucked out with a raven who would only speak Spanish, though he and Cade complained about that fact. Just imagine all of the humiliating things your bird didn't say to other people about you, Victor. Just imagine. Or... make a horrifying breakfast omelette with Sparkle, if that's what suits you. Good lord. Victor and Tony spoke about how their daemons are something more spiritual in nature than most of Fandom's other madness, and Victor and Topher mostly just talked about laziness and sleep. I remember sleep. Sleep is something that happens when I'm not listening to my cat yowling at a bear all night.
Sparkle and Cade did the requisite complaining about being stuck to their daemons before discussing the difference between a weasel and an ermine. For those listeners at home, there isn't one. And they can also be referred to as stoats. There was your educational radio content for the day. Atton also complained with Sparkle, though their conversation took a turn into the more interesting topic that is alcohol.
Atton and Cade, both the charming, pleasant lads that they are, called one another's daemons ugly. Which they might very well have been. Tony was a bit concerned about the mangy state of Atton's wolf, which led him to accuse him of not caring about other living things. Though in the case of our daemons, I might argue that there's a bigger case there for self-loathing, isn't there? Apparently it turns right back around on us as well, as Tony and Sparkle's daemons mouthed off about them for a while before Tony and Sparkle turned the tables and discussed the metaphysical. And sock stealing. Two topics that clearly go hand-in-hand.
Cade and Tony learned the hard way that you can't wander too far from your daemon before they spoke of the Skywalkers, and what happened to them in Cade's time. And I find myself somehow unsurprised that you're from a reality with Skywalkers, Cade, I really do. I do, however, find myself stunned that Tony and Ulrik also managed to segue their conversation so that it included talking breasts.
Why so many talking breasts? Is this a thing we're doing here now? Really? Was 'talking breast day' something that I managed to sleep through or be off-island for? Because the other week when I had a pair of my own, they were wonderfully, blissfully mute.
Teenagers these days.
Korra and her polar bear dog wandered into the common room, and she was a bit thrown off by Sparkle's talking backpack. Which is a step up from that last topic of conversation, I should think. Cade didn't have a helpful answer for her when she asked where all of the talking animals came from, but Tony's daemon did after Tony congratulated her for having the largest animal in the room. Topher, being Topher, mostly just complained that she didn't have any new animals following her around.
Topher and Cade, in a move that will surprise nobody, insulted one another's daemons before Topher accused Cade's hyena of having no sense of humour. And Cade and Ulrik somehow managed to overcome their lack of talking naffin' breasts to recognize one another from the genderswap that happened the other week, before speaking of animal symbolism. If anybody has the faintest idea of what a tiny bear could possibly mean, please, do let me know. Mostly all I've gathered from my soul-animal-thing so far is that some part of me apparently enjoys honey very much.
*Murmurwhisper*
… And yellow... flowered... bonnets.
I'm going to read these notes from Town now, so that I can get the hell out of here. Possibly to contemplate my life choices over a large amount of squirrel rum.
At Derek's place, Derek and Jack bonded over their canine daemons and how it hurts to be separated from them, and then they spoke of babysitting teenaged vampires, and of the full moon. At the residence of one Miss Pie, Pinkie had a bit of a panic when she thought she was in the presence of a demon, but decided in short order that this whole daemon thing was cause for celebration, instead. And, over the night sky, Arietty was enjoying a flight with her talking fruit bat.
At the Boards yesterday, this mumbly thing keeping my company was trying on hats and trying to convince me that I don't hate this place. She'll have to try harder, if talking breasts are an actual thing. Kenzi stopped by for some speculation about what our daemons mean, and then her, her meerkat, and my bear all ganged up on me to deprive me coffee until I sang for them.
*Murmur?*
No, I am not going to sing on the air this morning. If you want people to hear that song so badly, you sing it.
…
Didn't think so.
Topher's jackal was adamant that she was not for testing on at Stark Industries. Alec and his snake showed Sparkle and his weasel how to shoot straight at the gym, and there was no way to read that note that wouldn't sound horribly inappropriate, I'm afraid. Cassie spent her day at the Magic Box, sitting and reading a book that caught her eye.
In more talking-booby news, because apparently that's the secondary theme for the weekend and I'm so very grateful that I missed that memo up until now, Priestly had one of the blue-footed persuasion at Café Luke's. Dinah stopped by to visit with a golden eagle, which Priestly quickly assured her is by far preferable to talking boobies.
I'm going to just head to Caritas and drink the entirety of their import lager stock after this broadcast, I think.
Carl was being badgered about his dog at the Fandom Island Gazette office yesterday, Evan and Yeul were in the park speculating over what in the world Evan's puppy could want while their swan and tortoise looked on, and Dani must not have gotten the memo that spending a night away from her daemon would be extremely uncomfortable, as she was trying to convince her horse to spend the night in the stables, as opposed to tracking hoofprints through her home.
At Caritas, April's raven frightened Tino off, which really isn't much of an accomplishment, is it? And at the Devil's Nest, Bo was arguing with her talking horse about how badly she needed a drink. If her day was anything like mine, I'd wager she needed that drink very badly indeed. Tyrion came in with a lioness and a very similar, very understandable need to be drinking right then. Kitty was a little disappointed that she wasn't the only one on the island with a horse, while Bo was mostly just surprised that Kitty's wasn't a cat, for obvious reasons.
Kenzi and her meerkat came in, and got to deal with Bo accusing her of being somehow responsible for the horse. If she is, then I have a bone to pick with her about this bear, here, as well. I doubt I'll somehow be so lucky, though. Toby stopped in with his rabbit and couldn't help but be impressed with Bo's horse, while Kenzi mostly just thought that the rabbit was absolutely adorable.
Kenzi also offered my bear fashion advice, so I'm deciding here and now that her opinion on all things related to this weirdness is suspect. No verdict as of yet about her opinion on talking breasts, mind.
*Murmble!*
Look, I only read the notes, I'm hardly the one who came up with the idea of them speaking in the first place. And now I'm going to go and attempt to purge my brain of that image with lager. A large amount of lager.
Have yourselves a good day, Fandom. Stick close to your mammals, reptiles, and talking boobies, and hopefully this whole thing will blow over before they eat us out of house and home.