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fandom_radio2012-09-09 11:30 am
yakkoyaks.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2012-09-09 11:30 am
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Fandom Radio, Sunday, September 9th
*gentle music plays*
Girl: Yakko? Do you ever get that... not so fresh feeling?
Yakko: Of course not. You see, I'm a boy, and therefore don't have cooties like you and all other girls! But if you want to freshen yourself up, you can use new ACME Brand Anti-Cootie Spray! Just one spritz a day keeps those not-so-fresh cooties away."
Announcer: ACME Anti-Cootie spray seeps into the skin and attacks cooties deep down where they live: in girls. Clinical tests show that ACME Anti-Cootie Spray kills sixty percent more cooties than the leading competing brands.
Girl: Wow, Yakko. I knew that my body was changing, but I never knew that the change could be so gross, with cooties all over me.
Yakko: It really is. But thanks to ACME, you'll be feeling fresh as a boy in under 20 minutes.
Girl: YAY!
Announcer: ACME Anti-Cootie Spray. From the makers of ACME I Didn't Shower Today Manly Men's Body Spray. I Didn't Shower Today. Can you tell?
ACME: Proud sponsor of WTFH Radio.
Yakko: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO, FANDOM! This is your newly reelected president of all things radio on Sundays, back for another semester of bringing you the news and nothing but the news and anything else that comes to mind, no matter how bizarre or fleeting!
Today's top story: boys have become girls. Men have become women. Chaos reigns as everyone laughs at the guys who have to figure out how women's underwear works.
Fortunately, Cassidy and the library had books available to help boys come to terms with their newfound femininity. Loki came in mostly for an excuse to complain about his lack of eyebrows as a girl and Cassidy was able to see through Evan's shapeshifting fakery of still being a boy.
But enough of that actual during the day stuff. Let's cut over to everyone waking up. Jackson and Jim figured out the girl thing pretty quickly, but then Jackson turned into a basketball. Since he's a female basketball, he's an inch smaller in circumference than he would be if he were a male basketball.
Atton woke Jessica up with a lot of very bad words before asking to borrow clothes and help getting into them. Victor woke up thanks to a call from home but it took him a minute to figure out the girly bits. And when he did, Alec soon followed and everyone freaked out! And then they described each other because mirrors don't exist in their room.
Ace didn't have to wake up to any girlish horrors since she is a girl, but then Topher came a knockin' needing help putting on a bra. Jace was happy with his chest this time, but a war was brewing as he and Toby compared chests and which had the better one and I'm not sure I should be talking about this as a former children's television icon or as a teacher. Anyway, Alec declared Toby the winner.
And rounding out the dorm wake up horror stories were Goose and James, neither of whom were happy with the situation.
Once people were awake, they had to eat. Unfortunately for Cade in the third floor common room, there were no Cocoa Puffs. And he was a girl, but that wasn't the important part. Sparkle announced his girlness to the world, so Tony gave some tips for getting through this period: drinking, both coffee and adult drinks. But once Cade checked in, Sparkle dealt with things the best way he knew how: by braiding Cade's pretty hair. Tony suggested Cocoa Puff alternatives to Cade, which probably didn't include Branimaniacs.
Alec escaped his room for a while to become Cade's personal egg cook while talking to Sparkle about things they miss this weekend, girl fashion, and poetry. Tony and Atton thought pretty highly of themselves as they discussed pageants, and Cade forbade Atton from getting handsy with him. Sparkle and Atton discussed how they preferred the subtleties of the female form... And by that I mean, they prefer it on actual girls. Ulrik and Cade met, which must be a great first impression, and discussed breakfast options.
And finally in this room, Stiles ran in and demanded to be part of GENDERSWAP HOT OR NOT!!!
Let's see how our panel ranked him.
TONY gave Stiles a half-hearted "hot" before settling on "pretty." Let's be generous and say that was a 7.
CADE was much less generous, saying that Stiles wasn't "a complete speeder wreck." That's gotta sting, but less than an actual speeder wreck would! Let's put that at a 4.
And SPARKLE dropped an "I've seen better" bomb! Our judges are going to have trouble rating that more than a 2.
And so our final rating for Stiles: 4.33. I'm sorry, Stiles, but in Hot or Not, you are Not. Try again next time!
One floor up in the fourth floor common room, Olive set up a clothing donation system for the poor boy-girls. Toby made Olive guess who he was before they discussed how oh so very delicate girls are. And if you believe that one, I've got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you. Kenzi came in and helped Toby deal with being a girl by doing his hair and offering him a makeover. How this isn't already a reality show, I'll never know.
Olive and Kenzi started looking forward to the future when they'll be boys and hoped that they'll at least be good-looking. Sounds like they want to be future contestants on Genderswap Hot or Not. James borrowed some clothes after meeting Olive for the very first time. And certainly not the last if she wants those clothes back. Victor came down for some clothes, talk of future wacky, and pancakes, all of which Olive provided. He also came down for complaining about being a girl, which Toby helped with. And while he didn't come down to have pictures taken of him, Kenzi provided that until her pictures disappeared from her camera somehow.
And moving on to town, and more importantly more people waking up!
Clint had such a calm and rational reaction to being a girl that Natasha did not storm into his room and did not almost shoot him. Only the opposite of all of that. Derek found out he was a big, creepy girl when a phone call woke him up. The Lannisters found out they were sisters now and discussed how people had weird names.
Jack tried to deal with his girl parts by drinking coffee, but also had to deal with Derek looming about in the kitchen. Also, he had to give Kaidan some support because of biotics and control and I'm not sure what any of that means. But Jack was there for him. Ronan tried offering Kaidan some clothes, but it would be unnecessary since Kaidan is staying in his room and not coming out! And Ronan was very cheerful to Jack because this is all old hat to him.
And now the business rundown. At the Boards, Jono wore some old girl clothes and worked on sets. Dani dealt with a boy horse turned girl horse at the Gig. Priestly didn't have a problem being a girl, but he was trying to figure things out in a kitchen machinery way at Cafe Luke's. And the new Fandom Gazette was out and available at the paper's office.
Over at Stark's, Topher worked on a radio to deal with his girly distress, which fortunately wasn't in this girly dress.
That's a visual pun.
And Billy came in and they disliked the weekend together.
Clint dealt with his woman's issues at Atlas when Kitty came in to reassure him that things would get back to normal and he was a very pretty girl.
Thor drank a whole lot of The Perk's coffee supply to help him deal with his new girl parts. But Alec had more issues to deal with, especially since he looks like one of Thor's friends. And he was a very good big brother by giving Loki assurances that he wasn't ugly and here, have some coffee.
In the evening, Derek girl-lurked around the Park until he could try to make Stiles go back to the dorms and Coulson go away because he asked too many questions.
My bo-loved (see what I did there? verbal pun) had a deal on shots at the Devil's Nest. Guy didn't live up to his name, but Bo was kind and flirted with him to make him feel better anyway. Coulson decided to get the girliest drink possible since he was currently a girl. And Carl was both male and confused about what exactly was going on.
And finally, Caritas saw April being mean to poor Lady Tino about his looks and to poor Atton for trying to get drunk without revealing who he was.
And now, with this being an extra special strange weekend, before I sign off I think we could all do with learning the day's lesson. And to find out what it is, we turn to the Wheel of Morality. Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn. Moral number five. And the moral of today's broadcast is...
To all the boys I've mocked today
Because they're in a girly way
They have a feminine glow
I dedicate this show
To all the boys I've mocked today
Better luck being the right gender tomorrow!
Girl: Yakko? Do you ever get that... not so fresh feeling?
Yakko: Of course not. You see, I'm a boy, and therefore don't have cooties like you and all other girls! But if you want to freshen yourself up, you can use new ACME Brand Anti-Cootie Spray! Just one spritz a day keeps those not-so-fresh cooties away."
Announcer: ACME Anti-Cootie spray seeps into the skin and attacks cooties deep down where they live: in girls. Clinical tests show that ACME Anti-Cootie Spray kills sixty percent more cooties than the leading competing brands.
Girl: Wow, Yakko. I knew that my body was changing, but I never knew that the change could be so gross, with cooties all over me.
Yakko: It really is. But thanks to ACME, you'll be feeling fresh as a boy in under 20 minutes.
Girl: YAY!
Announcer: ACME Anti-Cootie Spray. From the makers of ACME I Didn't Shower Today Manly Men's Body Spray. I Didn't Shower Today. Can you tell?
ACME: Proud sponsor of WTFH Radio.
Yakko: HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO, FANDOM! This is your newly reelected president of all things radio on Sundays, back for another semester of bringing you the news and nothing but the news and anything else that comes to mind, no matter how bizarre or fleeting!
Today's top story: boys have become girls. Men have become women. Chaos reigns as everyone laughs at the guys who have to figure out how women's underwear works.
Fortunately, Cassidy and the library had books available to help boys come to terms with their newfound femininity. Loki came in mostly for an excuse to complain about his lack of eyebrows as a girl and Cassidy was able to see through Evan's shapeshifting fakery of still being a boy.
But enough of that actual during the day stuff. Let's cut over to everyone waking up. Jackson and Jim figured out the girl thing pretty quickly, but then Jackson turned into a basketball. Since he's a female basketball, he's an inch smaller in circumference than he would be if he were a male basketball.
Atton woke Jessica up with a lot of very bad words before asking to borrow clothes and help getting into them. Victor woke up thanks to a call from home but it took him a minute to figure out the girly bits. And when he did, Alec soon followed and everyone freaked out! And then they described each other because mirrors don't exist in their room.
Ace didn't have to wake up to any girlish horrors since she is a girl, but then Topher came a knockin' needing help putting on a bra. Jace was happy with his chest this time, but a war was brewing as he and Toby compared chests and which had the better one and I'm not sure I should be talking about this as a former children's television icon or as a teacher. Anyway, Alec declared Toby the winner.
And rounding out the dorm wake up horror stories were Goose and James, neither of whom were happy with the situation.
Once people were awake, they had to eat. Unfortunately for Cade in the third floor common room, there were no Cocoa Puffs. And he was a girl, but that wasn't the important part. Sparkle announced his girlness to the world, so Tony gave some tips for getting through this period: drinking, both coffee and adult drinks. But once Cade checked in, Sparkle dealt with things the best way he knew how: by braiding Cade's pretty hair. Tony suggested Cocoa Puff alternatives to Cade, which probably didn't include Branimaniacs.
Alec escaped his room for a while to become Cade's personal egg cook while talking to Sparkle about things they miss this weekend, girl fashion, and poetry. Tony and Atton thought pretty highly of themselves as they discussed pageants, and Cade forbade Atton from getting handsy with him. Sparkle and Atton discussed how they preferred the subtleties of the female form... And by that I mean, they prefer it on actual girls. Ulrik and Cade met, which must be a great first impression, and discussed breakfast options.
And finally in this room, Stiles ran in and demanded to be part of GENDERSWAP HOT OR NOT!!!
Let's see how our panel ranked him.
TONY gave Stiles a half-hearted "hot" before settling on "pretty." Let's be generous and say that was a 7.
CADE was much less generous, saying that Stiles wasn't "a complete speeder wreck." That's gotta sting, but less than an actual speeder wreck would! Let's put that at a 4.
And SPARKLE dropped an "I've seen better" bomb! Our judges are going to have trouble rating that more than a 2.
And so our final rating for Stiles: 4.33. I'm sorry, Stiles, but in Hot or Not, you are Not. Try again next time!
One floor up in the fourth floor common room, Olive set up a clothing donation system for the poor boy-girls. Toby made Olive guess who he was before they discussed how oh so very delicate girls are. And if you believe that one, I've got a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you. Kenzi came in and helped Toby deal with being a girl by doing his hair and offering him a makeover. How this isn't already a reality show, I'll never know.
Olive and Kenzi started looking forward to the future when they'll be boys and hoped that they'll at least be good-looking. Sounds like they want to be future contestants on Genderswap Hot or Not. James borrowed some clothes after meeting Olive for the very first time. And certainly not the last if she wants those clothes back. Victor came down for some clothes, talk of future wacky, and pancakes, all of which Olive provided. He also came down for complaining about being a girl, which Toby helped with. And while he didn't come down to have pictures taken of him, Kenzi provided that until her pictures disappeared from her camera somehow.
And moving on to town, and more importantly more people waking up!
Clint had such a calm and rational reaction to being a girl that Natasha did not storm into his room and did not almost shoot him. Only the opposite of all of that. Derek found out he was a big, creepy girl when a phone call woke him up. The Lannisters found out they were sisters now and discussed how people had weird names.
Jack tried to deal with his girl parts by drinking coffee, but also had to deal with Derek looming about in the kitchen. Also, he had to give Kaidan some support because of biotics and control and I'm not sure what any of that means. But Jack was there for him. Ronan tried offering Kaidan some clothes, but it would be unnecessary since Kaidan is staying in his room and not coming out! And Ronan was very cheerful to Jack because this is all old hat to him.
And now the business rundown. At the Boards, Jono wore some old girl clothes and worked on sets. Dani dealt with a boy horse turned girl horse at the Gig. Priestly didn't have a problem being a girl, but he was trying to figure things out in a kitchen machinery way at Cafe Luke's. And the new Fandom Gazette was out and available at the paper's office.
Over at Stark's, Topher worked on a radio to deal with his girly distress, which fortunately wasn't in this girly dress.
That's a visual pun.
And Billy came in and they disliked the weekend together.
Clint dealt with his woman's issues at Atlas when Kitty came in to reassure him that things would get back to normal and he was a very pretty girl.
Thor drank a whole lot of The Perk's coffee supply to help him deal with his new girl parts. But Alec had more issues to deal with, especially since he looks like one of Thor's friends. And he was a very good big brother by giving Loki assurances that he wasn't ugly and here, have some coffee.
In the evening, Derek girl-lurked around the Park until he could try to make Stiles go back to the dorms and Coulson go away because he asked too many questions.
My bo-loved (see what I did there? verbal pun) had a deal on shots at the Devil's Nest. Guy didn't live up to his name, but Bo was kind and flirted with him to make him feel better anyway. Coulson decided to get the girliest drink possible since he was currently a girl. And Carl was both male and confused about what exactly was going on.
And finally, Caritas saw April being mean to poor Lady Tino about his looks and to poor Atton for trying to get drunk without revealing who he was.
And now, with this being an extra special strange weekend, before I sign off I think we could all do with learning the day's lesson. And to find out what it is, we turn to the Wheel of Morality. Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn. Moral number five. And the moral of today's broadcast is...
To all the boys I've mocked today
Because they're in a girly way
They have a feminine glow
I dedicate this show
To all the boys I've mocked today
Better luck being the right gender tomorrow!