fandom_radio | WTFH Radio, Friday, August 31

"I don't get this. No, seriously, I don't -- are you pointing? Do you even have fingers? How the hell are you -- hey, okay, sorry, I didn't mean to be offensive, I just...I mean, technically those are a part of your paw and I am sure they're not called fingers. It's not offensive if it's accurate.

….oh my god I'm arguing with a woodland creature.

Um. Okay, so, why are you pointing? At this...paper. And the microphone? You want me to read it. Um. Okay. How do I -- oh, it's on. Oh, sh...hi, everyone, this is Olive, bringing you...Friday's news, I guess! Hey, so, just so everyone knows, every single one of you has failed me for not warning me about the squirrels. Sure, you made your nice little helpful comments about the, "Hey, sometimes people are from outer space!" and "Maybe your big sibling is an unwed mother from 1915, no big!" but no one told me I could be shanghai'd into reading things on the air thanks to squirrels.

All of you. All of you failed me.

...anyway.

Classes

So, we had school today! Yaaaaay. Or, well, some of us did. Some of us sat around in our pajamas and learned about what's new in reality television. Anyway. Those of you who had school might have been in Oppression, Resistance and Revolution, which sounds like a great time. There was a lecture, during which Loki decided to just go ahead and embrace the siren call of immaturity and threw some paper at the back of Evan's head. There were weirdly no introductions, but instead they talked about causes that everyone'd die for. Again: super-cheerful, guys. And lucky Billy, 'cause it turns out he's related to Professor Sunshine here or something. Over in Living on the Outskirts, they talked about how all teenagers go through that not-so-fresh feeling of being bleak and alone and sad. Holy crap, guys, how did I get stuck reading the notes from Bummer Day? I mean, my last class was with Hair and I have a pony for a teacher. Why is Friday not at all fun? Anyway -- people chilled before class started, with Mercy and Arietty meeting, and Toby and Sholeh having a creepy little Police moment where Toby watches her. The class introduced themselves with complaining -- way to keep with the theme of Depress-a-thon Friday, guys -- but then had to cheer it up. Awwww. Okay. Pass for you.

Art of the Heist met in a holding cell, so we're back to being generally miserable in case we forgot we were supposed to be doing that. They introduced themselves by explaining why they're a good partner in crime. I feel like if you have to tell me, you're probably not. In Astro Sciences they're going to talk about astronomy and xenobiology, neither of which is like 'oh man this one time an alien killed my dog' or anything, so you guys get a thumbs up for not being horrifically sad, over here. Everyone introduced themselves and talked about how they feel about space, which I assume is a resounding, 'Awesomely, duh.'

In the library, Billy spent time in the poetry section, presumably looking for depressing poems about being related to a really dramatic and sad guy, it sounds like. Jaina's stuff was moving around her office on its own -- you know, I would normally doubt that but I have squirrels here forcing me to read this, so -- and some chick named Rory brought her kids in. Because who doesn't like having their personal working time disrupted by adorable moppets?

Dorms

We were all pretty quiet in the dorms today, it looks like. I mean, I couldn't find anyone with free food, so, you know, see earlier note regarding staying in my pajamas watching Real Housewives. Mercy was in her room looking up remote-controlled cars, which I guess is relevant to Arietty's interests because she came by to check on Mercy's progress.

And that was it! It's okay, I feel like it's been a lot of socialization since I got here, so. Breaks are good, guys. They're good.

Town

Town seems to have been where it was at, today, to put it in totally awful grammar. April came back from Baltimore with chicken wings, which is really too bad. The droids at Goodvalor's kept trying to get Toby to drink tea, which...I did not know was like, a main ambition of robots but hey, I'm still learning. Cable opened up Wellspring Arms, with someone little named Jan who ran upstairs and wouldn't come down again. Alec came in all 'Hire me' and then had to prove he knew his stuff, first. At Luke's, they made Peeta -- you poor thing -- cupcakes for his birthday tomorrow. Well, now I feel bad for mocking your name. Happy birthday, Peeta! Over at the Magic Box, Loki stirred the metaphorical internet pot while on his phone, and in Chilly Boulder, Kitty consoled herself with ice cream because she has crappy taste in football teams. Sorry, I don't even like football and I know that. Coulson came in to talk about sprinkles, like you do.

At the Devil's Nest, Eric had to explain to some guy named Tiny -- guessing that's an ironic nickname, or else wow that is really sad -- that Bjork isn't Swedish and that he needed to take off the swan dress. That...is possibly weirder than the squirrel thing. Congrats, dude, you've outdone really pushy rodents as Top Weirdest Thing I Learned Today. Karla threw a tantrum, complete with some Naomi Campbell phone-throwing action in Jono's direction, because of Magneto, Stiles ogled Eric -- really? -- and mentioned he was threatened about going there. What the hell? Is this town really big enough for that kind of thing? Do we have turf wars? What side do I need to represent? YOU GUYS ARE FAILING ME AGAIN. Oh, and Jaina needed the swan thing explained, because she missed that. Being around for that doesn't help.

...and that's it? Okay. Cool. That was...relatively painless. I'm gonna go home now, okay? Um, this is Olive Penderghast, signing off."