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fandom_radio2012-08-30 09:42 am
seeshowyoudie.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2012-08-30 09:42 am
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Fandom Radio - Thursday, August 30
Are we on? Let me just say, I've heard people on the radio complain about being kidnapped by squirrels, and I used to think it was some sort of weird in-joke. I, on the other hand, wasn't kidnapped. They offered me booze. And I'm easy. There's a lot of notes, but there's a lot of these little bottles of rum, so let's see if my ability to read them or the *BEEP*ing booze runs out first.
*pause*
Did I just get beeped? I can't say *BEEP*ing on the air? How about *BEEP*? *BEEP*? *BEEP*? *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*? Well, that's no fun. How can I scar the minds of impressionable young kids if I can't *BEEP*ing swear?
School
Whatever. So there's some Model United Nations class or something. Aaaaaand the teacher is a talking pink pony, or at least that's what Rilla told Jackson. Whatever, I'm not even phazed by this any more. Gods, mutants, pink ponies? We got 'em all. It's like Saint Mary's School for Wayward Freaks, and I fit right *BEEP*ing in. Anyway! Introductions were made and nations were picked, and Hanna's Land of Fashionistas made an alliance with Petra's United States of Girls. They immediately declared war on the Empire of the Softer Side of Sears. I may have made that last part up. They did make flags, though, and Kenzi's State of Inebriation - which I am calling right here and now as the *BEEP*ing best nation in this class - totally coveted the United States of Girls' flag or something. Rilla was totally boring because her country is Canada. Nothing against Canada but when you're up against fashion, girls, and alcohol, you should go all out. Honor your heritage with the Kingdom of Carling or something. After class it looks like Ryan sucked up to the pink pony - and that sounds way dirty - for the TA position.
Next up! Personal Improvement Through Science, which is not, apparently, the PE class everyone was expecting. There were, however, snazzy orange jumpsuits and I'm glad I'm not in this class already because I'd look like a *BEEP*ing Halloween decoration. Stiles doesn't like Jackson or else he really does like Jackson and is protesting too much, but their love is put on hold so that the testing could begin, which doesn't sound ominous or anything. Alex and Victor wondered what he hell the class is about while Liara and Ace talked about blah blah tech crap. Tony assured Stiles that they weren't going to die, which takes the fun out of things. They all have to do the introductions tango, and Victor had to tell Jackson he's not Scott, whoever the hell that is. Some disembodied voice went over the rules in a totally not creepy way at all I'm sure, and then they had to pass a ball without dropping it. Oooooooh, dangerous. Post-class in the locker room, Topher and Evan discussed selling organs on the black market. Evan, kid, don't accept any drinks from this guy or you're going to wake up in a bathtub of ice cubes. And finally, Jack Carter asked Gladys if she knows some dude named Fargo. Oh, GLaDOS. Whatever. Give me another of those rum bottles. Better make it two, they're small.
Sword and Shield class had two teams playing paintball but failed truth in advertising. And Hiding in Plain Sight went over the class and had everyone make more introductions. Meanwhile, back at the library, Sholeh was really excited to be a library aide. Ulrik came to visit her and talk about privilege. Jesus, not that shit again. How many more steps back do I have to take? And finally, some guy named Jono was in his office making coffee and going over a lesson plan. The excitement never *BEEP*ing ends around here.
Wait, there's more? Keep those bottles coming, squirrels. Don't worry, I'll buy you a shiny new bottle later to replace it. Careful, don't touch my hand - OK, that's a really *BEEP*ed up way to go, my friend. I didn't even know squirrels were into that kind of thing. You should examine your life and your choices.
Dorms
So Jackson woke up in his room from a nightmare, but I'm guessing the squirrels aren't omnipotent since they aren't giving me details here. Work with me, guys. We'll just say it was about going to class naked and covered in jello because that's always fun. Percy was playing cell phone games in his room until Luke came by to talk about their classes that day. Jack was all freaked-out after the science class while Topher was working on his organ-harvesting plans. Or maybe he was trying to do some computer shit or something while victor complained to him about being mistaken for that other guy.
The fifth floor common room was apparently the big place to be last night. If you were in to pizza and Cactibear, at least. What the *BEEP* is a Cactibear? Well, let's keep reading and find out. Toby had to explain Cactibear to Olive, and Olive and Mercy tried to think of different things to do with Cactibear's spikes, and now I'm thinking this is some seriously kinky *BEEP*. Jim complained that all the furniture smelled like pizza, but there are a lot of worse things that furniture could smell like, like farts. Jim propositioned Olive but got shot down, then talked to Mercy about how rich the pizza delivery guys must be now. I don't think that's going to sweet talk a girl into bed, either.
Loki wanted to know why the bear had spikes, and Toby explained he was half-cactus. The bear, not Toby. Or Toby could be for all I know. Wouldn't surprise me. There's some serious weird *BEEP* in this place. Loki told Olive he was a god, which I totally didn't believe at first but OK, we'll go with it. Sorry I didn't believe you at first, kid. You go with your goddy self. Mercy and Toby wondered if there were cactibears in the preserve but Sparkle was way more interested in pointing out how this show as clearly made in Canada. He also waxed on about Canada to Olive and probably anyone else who would listen. Go talk to Rilla so she has a more interesting background in the United Nations class. Toby promised Yeul that cactibears weren't real, but then Sparkle tried to freak her out by telling her about drop bears.
Petra was totally loving the pizza and cactibear lore, and then she commiserated with Olive about all the guys on the island being taken or gay or Topher. *BEEP*, they are? What's a girl got to do to get laid around here? Yeul and Petra talked about giant snakes, while Hanna and Toby thought Fandom had a lot more weirder things to offer than cactibears. Probably have a point there. Hanna told Yeul about the creepy doll invasion, which sounds like a lot of fun, then talked to Mercy about how they spent their summers. Toby had to explain to Jessica that the cactiber wasn't the hero of the movie, and then Petra and Jessica try to come up with sequels and love interests for the cactibear. Not a balloon animal because that would be *BEEP*ing tragic. Jessica promised Olive a prize because she told her the cactibear was real or something, and that's a weird thing to be awarding prizes for but whatever. Stephanie was excited about Cactibear being on and glad she hadn't missed the wild turkey stampede. If that was about a bourbon stampede that'd be way more interesting. Stephanie and Olive discussed survival skills and the cafeteria, two things that probably don't go together, and Yeul wanted a movie where the villain won, which didn't make Stephanie happy.
Almost done! Squirrels, you guys are going to have to walk me to class because I am going to be crawling at this rate.
Town
Jaina hung out at the Perk today. Tony was at Stark Industries being talked at by a disembodied voice that probably is going to have him passing a ball around soon. Cade wanted to know what the place was and got offered a job. Jessica wanted to know if Tony was working on anything important and asked for a job, too. And over at the Devil's Nest, Derek was a Dancing Queen but he made Pinkie cry because he didn't like her care package or something. Eric wanted to dance but Derek was having a snit and turned him down, awwwww.
And that, finally, looks like it. *BEEP*, I probably shouldn't be drinking so much when I have a class first period. But it's about how not to do things, so I can claim I was doing prep work. Have a fabulous *BEEP*ing day, everyone, and remember to tip the squirrels so they don't make up *BEEP* about you.
*pause*
Did I just get beeped? I can't say *BEEP*ing on the air? How about *BEEP*? *BEEP*? *BEEP*? *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*? Well, that's no fun. How can I scar the minds of impressionable young kids if I can't *BEEP*ing swear?
School
Whatever. So there's some Model United Nations class or something. Aaaaaand the teacher is a talking pink pony, or at least that's what Rilla told Jackson. Whatever, I'm not even phazed by this any more. Gods, mutants, pink ponies? We got 'em all. It's like Saint Mary's School for Wayward Freaks, and I fit right *BEEP*ing in. Anyway! Introductions were made and nations were picked, and Hanna's Land of Fashionistas made an alliance with Petra's United States of Girls. They immediately declared war on the Empire of the Softer Side of Sears. I may have made that last part up. They did make flags, though, and Kenzi's State of Inebriation - which I am calling right here and now as the *BEEP*ing best nation in this class - totally coveted the United States of Girls' flag or something. Rilla was totally boring because her country is Canada. Nothing against Canada but when you're up against fashion, girls, and alcohol, you should go all out. Honor your heritage with the Kingdom of Carling or something. After class it looks like Ryan sucked up to the pink pony - and that sounds way dirty - for the TA position.
Next up! Personal Improvement Through Science, which is not, apparently, the PE class everyone was expecting. There were, however, snazzy orange jumpsuits and I'm glad I'm not in this class already because I'd look like a *BEEP*ing Halloween decoration. Stiles doesn't like Jackson or else he really does like Jackson and is protesting too much, but their love is put on hold so that the testing could begin, which doesn't sound ominous or anything. Alex and Victor wondered what he hell the class is about while Liara and Ace talked about blah blah tech crap. Tony assured Stiles that they weren't going to die, which takes the fun out of things. They all have to do the introductions tango, and Victor had to tell Jackson he's not Scott, whoever the hell that is. Some disembodied voice went over the rules in a totally not creepy way at all I'm sure, and then they had to pass a ball without dropping it. Oooooooh, dangerous. Post-class in the locker room, Topher and Evan discussed selling organs on the black market. Evan, kid, don't accept any drinks from this guy or you're going to wake up in a bathtub of ice cubes. And finally, Jack Carter asked Gladys if she knows some dude named Fargo. Oh, GLaDOS. Whatever. Give me another of those rum bottles. Better make it two, they're small.
Sword and Shield class had two teams playing paintball but failed truth in advertising. And Hiding in Plain Sight went over the class and had everyone make more introductions. Meanwhile, back at the library, Sholeh was really excited to be a library aide. Ulrik came to visit her and talk about privilege. Jesus, not that shit again. How many more steps back do I have to take? And finally, some guy named Jono was in his office making coffee and going over a lesson plan. The excitement never *BEEP*ing ends around here.
Wait, there's more? Keep those bottles coming, squirrels. Don't worry, I'll buy you a shiny new bottle later to replace it. Careful, don't touch my hand - OK, that's a really *BEEP*ed up way to go, my friend. I didn't even know squirrels were into that kind of thing. You should examine your life and your choices.
Dorms
So Jackson woke up in his room from a nightmare, but I'm guessing the squirrels aren't omnipotent since they aren't giving me details here. Work with me, guys. We'll just say it was about going to class naked and covered in jello because that's always fun. Percy was playing cell phone games in his room until Luke came by to talk about their classes that day. Jack was all freaked-out after the science class while Topher was working on his organ-harvesting plans. Or maybe he was trying to do some computer shit or something while victor complained to him about being mistaken for that other guy.
The fifth floor common room was apparently the big place to be last night. If you were in to pizza and Cactibear, at least. What the *BEEP* is a Cactibear? Well, let's keep reading and find out. Toby had to explain Cactibear to Olive, and Olive and Mercy tried to think of different things to do with Cactibear's spikes, and now I'm thinking this is some seriously kinky *BEEP*. Jim complained that all the furniture smelled like pizza, but there are a lot of worse things that furniture could smell like, like farts. Jim propositioned Olive but got shot down, then talked to Mercy about how rich the pizza delivery guys must be now. I don't think that's going to sweet talk a girl into bed, either.
Loki wanted to know why the bear had spikes, and Toby explained he was half-cactus. The bear, not Toby. Or Toby could be for all I know. Wouldn't surprise me. There's some serious weird *BEEP* in this place. Loki told Olive he was a god, which I totally didn't believe at first but OK, we'll go with it. Sorry I didn't believe you at first, kid. You go with your goddy self. Mercy and Toby wondered if there were cactibears in the preserve but Sparkle was way more interested in pointing out how this show as clearly made in Canada. He also waxed on about Canada to Olive and probably anyone else who would listen. Go talk to Rilla so she has a more interesting background in the United Nations class. Toby promised Yeul that cactibears weren't real, but then Sparkle tried to freak her out by telling her about drop bears.
Petra was totally loving the pizza and cactibear lore, and then she commiserated with Olive about all the guys on the island being taken or gay or Topher. *BEEP*, they are? What's a girl got to do to get laid around here? Yeul and Petra talked about giant snakes, while Hanna and Toby thought Fandom had a lot more weirder things to offer than cactibears. Probably have a point there. Hanna told Yeul about the creepy doll invasion, which sounds like a lot of fun, then talked to Mercy about how they spent their summers. Toby had to explain to Jessica that the cactiber wasn't the hero of the movie, and then Petra and Jessica try to come up with sequels and love interests for the cactibear. Not a balloon animal because that would be *BEEP*ing tragic. Jessica promised Olive a prize because she told her the cactibear was real or something, and that's a weird thing to be awarding prizes for but whatever. Stephanie was excited about Cactibear being on and glad she hadn't missed the wild turkey stampede. If that was about a bourbon stampede that'd be way more interesting. Stephanie and Olive discussed survival skills and the cafeteria, two things that probably don't go together, and Yeul wanted a movie where the villain won, which didn't make Stephanie happy.
Almost done! Squirrels, you guys are going to have to walk me to class because I am going to be crawling at this rate.
Town
Jaina hung out at the Perk today. Tony was at Stark Industries being talked at by a disembodied voice that probably is going to have him passing a ball around soon. Cade wanted to know what the place was and got offered a job. Jessica wanted to know if Tony was working on anything important and asked for a job, too. And over at the Devil's Nest, Derek was a Dancing Queen but he made Pinkie cry because he didn't like her care package or something. Eric wanted to dance but Derek was having a snit and turned him down, awwwww.
And that, finally, looks like it. *BEEP*, I probably shouldn't be drinking so much when I have a class first period. But it's about how not to do things, so I can claim I was doing prep work. Have a fabulous *BEEP*ing day, everyone, and remember to tip the squirrels so they don't make up *BEEP* about you.