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fandom_radio2012-05-18 06:59 am
shestheworst.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2012-05-18 06:59 am
Entry tags:
Fandom Radio :: Friday, May 18th.
*scuffle* *scuffle* *clunk*
*whispered* Okay... *sounds of something rattling* Where do I sta--
HODEJAFERA--Damn, you little suckers come out of no where, don't you? It's okay, squirrels. It's just me, Britta, sneaking into your radio station for no apparent reason and definitely not to spray paint 'Big Brother is Watching' or 'Down with your constant surveillance infringing on our freedoms' all over the studio or anything, really...
*slower rattling* Geez, do you always just stare at people like that? Creep--
*chittering, soft ruffling* What are those? The notes for this morning? I should burn those.
*chittering, more forceful* Whoa, take a chill pill, little guy, I was just joking. Trust me, this'll just be a few sprays, and then I'm out of here. Just gonna leave a little ma--
*chitter, chitter, chitter, something sliding across the counter* ...is that rum?
*chitter chitter* It's, like, buttcrack o'clock in the morning. What kind of drunk do you take me for?
*very suave and persuasive chittering* ...okay, maybe one glass.
*more chittering* What do you mean, only if I read the notes? I'm not contributing to your facist regime against the boundaries of personal space and privacy.
*chitter* No, not even for....wow, that smells really good. Is that, like, some popular vintage? Um, well, I guess, just this one time...But I hope your realize that if I'm reading these notes, I'm reading them Britta-style. I will reject your notes and supply them with my own. Ha! Let's see what you can do to stop me. Now how do I turn this thing on? Like this? Oh, there it goes.
Good morning, Fandom! That's right! This is Britta Perry and I've completely highjacked your radio station for this morning's broadcast of Big Brother is Watching, because this island is subjugated to a police state where all the little details of your life are being watched by creepy spy squirrels that will drunkenly fondle you if you're not careful. This is the sick, gross world of having no privacy. Oh, sure, it all starts with a quick looksie into someone’s classroom, and then its a brisk peek-a-roonie at our phone records and before you can say 1985, the thought police are forcy-worsing you to bend and spread! Heed this as a warning, fellow Fandomites. Rise up against the machine, before the machine rises up against you.
For example, it is apparently imperitive that you all realize that, yesterday, Electroclash was in her office drinking coffee. It's the minutae such as this being broadcasted to the entirety of the island that really makes you wonder on the validity of this process, don't you think? Where we cannot even sip our beverages of choice without the ever present eyes of Big Brother on us. Why can't Electroclash drink her coffee in peace? Because then they can't control us, that's why.
Oh, look here. This squirrel says that, in Cryptozoology, Trick gave his students access to a Brownie, which is a little fae that, quote, 'helps humans with chores and shopping and other useful things.' Oh, that's a nice way to put it. Another way to put it would be slavery. Or how about this ear pop: 'subjugation of another species for the benefit of another.' That's right. This class is supporting that we reduce one species to be our own private little slaves. And don't talk to me about how they apparently enjoy it and want to help. They probably don't have a choice, and let me tell you about a little thing called Stockholm Syndrome. Loki refused to partake in this execsize of inhumanity, so he got assigned to do a paper from Trick and he gets a gold star from me as being humanitarian hero of the week. Anna was worried that her brownie might be bored...really? Bored? Your teacher is giving you a slave and you're worried it might be bored? And Kenzi just doesn't want to take an responsibility if her brownie should get into trouble. But I'm sure Kenzi is okay with the brownie cleaning her socks and brushing her hair. Just so long as the brownie doesn't get her into trouble.
Ugh. See, this is the sort of thing I'm talking about. How can anyone think that this is anyway to behave in a society that's going anywhere? It isn't, and the fact that the place that encourages these sorts of behaviors is the same sort of place where we're supposedly supposed to be learning moralistic and societal cues is a good indication that we are head---
*ttsssst**
....what was that?
*ttsssst tsst*
Um, okay, why does that squirrel have a taser?
*ttsst tsst!*
Hey, watch it! Those things are dangerous! Fine. I'll get back to reaching your stupid notes; I bet you feel real big threatening someone to do their bidding, too, don't you?
Ahem.
In Adeventures through History, the students had to Come together a la the Great Pony Summit to figure out how to beat a huge snow storm, probably brought on by climate change. After that last class, I'm inclined to comment that this sounds both adorable and most likely futile. Especially since we shouldn't try to control Mother Nature, and, by assuming that we can, we are meglomaniac sycophants trying to destroy something that will probably outlast us and in horrible ways in the long run. Just saying.
And, in Childcare for Dummies, because as much as we'd rather they didn't, stupid people are still going to massively breed because our nation teaches a cirriculum that emphasizes abstinence over the much more effective and realistic development of simple safe sex practices, Deadpool and Anakin showed the students the complete ineffectualness of reading to children to get them to sleep. Because little kids are bad ass and they do what they want and they're still not indoctrinated to become submissive drones of what their parents tell them to do. Jan and Juliet are also gold star heroes of the day. Never stop fighting the man, you fierce little women! Especially if that man is a dad trying to bring you down! The students got to try their hand at supressing the natural energy of children, too, but, for some reason, I'm just feeling like the whole thing would have been pointless unless they got Samuel L. Jackson to do it....I'd even go the *BEEP* to sleep if that man was reading to me...
And then, in TOWN, under the watchful eyes of our militant squirrel population, which I'm pretty sure got most of their abilities from some sort of nuclear radiation leak, Kenzi proves herself to be a horrible person by sleeping on the bar at Caritas while her school-indoctrinated slave does all the work for her. I guess you can't expect too much from an establishment that willingly serves alcohol of minors. Tinny is getting an exciting preview of the medocrity of the rest of her life with her new job filing stuff at the Trooper Station, while Emma at least waited outside for customers at Dite's. Alex killed an inexobiant amout of braincells by playing computer solitare instead of working at Wellspring Arms, and, good god, people, Petra's listening to boy bands at Groovy Tunes and actually seeming to enjoy it. William was dealing with indoor thunder at Stark Industries, and I know I'm not drunk enough to have read that wrong. Tara was flipping through a course catalogue at the Magic Box and you, too, can join all of the excitement of being a mindless corporate drone even in a small island town by taking up Millie on the hiring she's doing at Book Haven.
At least Karolina got a chance to just get out and enjoy the beach; Victor showed up, too, which gave them the chance to talk about how messed up this school is. And I'm sure they're both so glad that the school is so messed up that everyone now knows their personal business because the place is overridden with pencil weilding super-spy rodents on---
**ttssstt!*
Ow! Not. Cool! Don't taze me, bro; I have a voice and I intend to use it!
....
....
Wait, those are all the notes? No comments on how so-and-so ate a sandwich, or this person walked down the hall, or this person didn't wash their hands after using the bathroom? I guess you guys were just kind of lazy yesterday, huh? Anyway, I'm taking this rum with me. And I'm still going to spray paint the heck out of this place. Go ahead and tell the troopers. I don't care. I'm not a part of your system, and someone has to stand up for the injustices and the seeds of militant states being planted right here in this very radio station. Someone has to be the chopstick that stabs into the watchful eyes of Big Brother; Justice is blind, and so when there are eyes that see everything, it is clear evidence that Injustice is reigning supreme. How much longer will it be before we're all subjugated to watching our every actions to try to escape the tyrannical all-seeing eyes of the squirrels? Stand up against Big Brother. Viva la revolut--
**CLICK!**
**MUZAK**
*whispered* Okay... *sounds of something rattling* Where do I sta--
HODEJAFERA--Damn, you little suckers come out of no where, don't you? It's okay, squirrels. It's just me, Britta, sneaking into your radio station for no apparent reason and definitely not to spray paint 'Big Brother is Watching' or 'Down with your constant surveillance infringing on our freedoms' all over the studio or anything, really...
*slower rattling* Geez, do you always just stare at people like that? Creep--
*chittering, soft ruffling* What are those? The notes for this morning? I should burn those.
*chittering, more forceful* Whoa, take a chill pill, little guy, I was just joking. Trust me, this'll just be a few sprays, and then I'm out of here. Just gonna leave a little ma--
*chitter, chitter, chitter, something sliding across the counter* ...is that rum?
*chitter chitter* It's, like, buttcrack o'clock in the morning. What kind of drunk do you take me for?
*very suave and persuasive chittering* ...okay, maybe one glass.
*more chittering* What do you mean, only if I read the notes? I'm not contributing to your facist regime against the boundaries of personal space and privacy.
*chitter* No, not even for....wow, that smells really good. Is that, like, some popular vintage? Um, well, I guess, just this one time...But I hope your realize that if I'm reading these notes, I'm reading them Britta-style. I will reject your notes and supply them with my own. Ha! Let's see what you can do to stop me. Now how do I turn this thing on? Like this? Oh, there it goes.
Good morning, Fandom! That's right! This is Britta Perry and I've completely highjacked your radio station for this morning's broadcast of Big Brother is Watching, because this island is subjugated to a police state where all the little details of your life are being watched by creepy spy squirrels that will drunkenly fondle you if you're not careful. This is the sick, gross world of having no privacy. Oh, sure, it all starts with a quick looksie into someone’s classroom, and then its a brisk peek-a-roonie at our phone records and before you can say 1985, the thought police are forcy-worsing you to bend and spread! Heed this as a warning, fellow Fandomites. Rise up against the machine, before the machine rises up against you.
For example, it is apparently imperitive that you all realize that, yesterday, Electroclash was in her office drinking coffee. It's the minutae such as this being broadcasted to the entirety of the island that really makes you wonder on the validity of this process, don't you think? Where we cannot even sip our beverages of choice without the ever present eyes of Big Brother on us. Why can't Electroclash drink her coffee in peace? Because then they can't control us, that's why.
Oh, look here. This squirrel says that, in Cryptozoology, Trick gave his students access to a Brownie, which is a little fae that, quote, 'helps humans with chores and shopping and other useful things.' Oh, that's a nice way to put it. Another way to put it would be slavery. Or how about this ear pop: 'subjugation of another species for the benefit of another.' That's right. This class is supporting that we reduce one species to be our own private little slaves. And don't talk to me about how they apparently enjoy it and want to help. They probably don't have a choice, and let me tell you about a little thing called Stockholm Syndrome. Loki refused to partake in this execsize of inhumanity, so he got assigned to do a paper from Trick and he gets a gold star from me as being humanitarian hero of the week. Anna was worried that her brownie might be bored...really? Bored? Your teacher is giving you a slave and you're worried it might be bored? And Kenzi just doesn't want to take an responsibility if her brownie should get into trouble. But I'm sure Kenzi is okay with the brownie cleaning her socks and brushing her hair. Just so long as the brownie doesn't get her into trouble.
Ugh. See, this is the sort of thing I'm talking about. How can anyone think that this is anyway to behave in a society that's going anywhere? It isn't, and the fact that the place that encourages these sorts of behaviors is the same sort of place where we're supposedly supposed to be learning moralistic and societal cues is a good indication that we are head---
*ttsssst**
....what was that?
*ttsssst tsst*
Um, okay, why does that squirrel have a taser?
*ttsst tsst!*
Hey, watch it! Those things are dangerous! Fine. I'll get back to reaching your stupid notes; I bet you feel real big threatening someone to do their bidding, too, don't you?
Ahem.
In Adeventures through History, the students had to Come together a la the Great Pony Summit to figure out how to beat a huge snow storm, probably brought on by climate change. After that last class, I'm inclined to comment that this sounds both adorable and most likely futile. Especially since we shouldn't try to control Mother Nature, and, by assuming that we can, we are meglomaniac sycophants trying to destroy something that will probably outlast us and in horrible ways in the long run. Just saying.
And, in Childcare for Dummies, because as much as we'd rather they didn't, stupid people are still going to massively breed because our nation teaches a cirriculum that emphasizes abstinence over the much more effective and realistic development of simple safe sex practices, Deadpool and Anakin showed the students the complete ineffectualness of reading to children to get them to sleep. Because little kids are bad ass and they do what they want and they're still not indoctrinated to become submissive drones of what their parents tell them to do. Jan and Juliet are also gold star heroes of the day. Never stop fighting the man, you fierce little women! Especially if that man is a dad trying to bring you down! The students got to try their hand at supressing the natural energy of children, too, but, for some reason, I'm just feeling like the whole thing would have been pointless unless they got Samuel L. Jackson to do it....I'd even go the *BEEP* to sleep if that man was reading to me...
And then, in TOWN, under the watchful eyes of our militant squirrel population, which I'm pretty sure got most of their abilities from some sort of nuclear radiation leak, Kenzi proves herself to be a horrible person by sleeping on the bar at Caritas while her school-indoctrinated slave does all the work for her. I guess you can't expect too much from an establishment that willingly serves alcohol of minors. Tinny is getting an exciting preview of the medocrity of the rest of her life with her new job filing stuff at the Trooper Station, while Emma at least waited outside for customers at Dite's. Alex killed an inexobiant amout of braincells by playing computer solitare instead of working at Wellspring Arms, and, good god, people, Petra's listening to boy bands at Groovy Tunes and actually seeming to enjoy it. William was dealing with indoor thunder at Stark Industries, and I know I'm not drunk enough to have read that wrong. Tara was flipping through a course catalogue at the Magic Box and you, too, can join all of the excitement of being a mindless corporate drone even in a small island town by taking up Millie on the hiring she's doing at Book Haven.
At least Karolina got a chance to just get out and enjoy the beach; Victor showed up, too, which gave them the chance to talk about how messed up this school is. And I'm sure they're both so glad that the school is so messed up that everyone now knows their personal business because the place is overridden with pencil weilding super-spy rodents on---
**ttssstt!*
Ow! Not. Cool! Don't taze me, bro; I have a voice and I intend to use it!
....
....
Wait, those are all the notes? No comments on how so-and-so ate a sandwich, or this person walked down the hall, or this person didn't wash their hands after using the bathroom? I guess you guys were just kind of lazy yesterday, huh? Anyway, I'm taking this rum with me. And I'm still going to spray paint the heck out of this place. Go ahead and tell the troopers. I don't care. I'm not a part of your system, and someone has to stand up for the injustices and the seeds of militant states being planted right here in this very radio station. Someone has to be the chopstick that stabs into the watchful eyes of Big Brother; Justice is blind, and so when there are eyes that see everything, it is clear evidence that Injustice is reigning supreme. How much longer will it be before we're all subjugated to watching our every actions to try to escape the tyrannical all-seeing eyes of the squirrels? Stand up against Big Brother. Viva la revolut--
**CLICK!**
**MUZAK**