fandom_radio | WTFH, Tuesday, April 17th

Ronan: Good morning, Fandom Island! It's your usual Tuesday host, Ronan Nolan, with today's news of yesterday! I was just glancing over the notes, and it looks like it was a perfectly normal day for you all yesterday.

Perfectly normal.

Anyway, classes went-

Darby: You are going to sit here with me and do radio, and you are going to like it!

Troy: But Mrs. Evans, I'm not -- this isn't -- there are people who do this! Like, a schedule! We can't just barge in here!

Ronan: Actually, the more, the merrier, I'd say. Mrs. Evans, was it? You're with the school board, yes? Ronan Nolan, I work at the clinic.

Darby: Charmed, I'm sure. Now, you were saying something about classes?

Ronan: Ah, yes. It was a glut of final exams, as befits the week, with Defending Yourself performing katas. The students all dressed up in their gis before demonstrating the forms that they learned during the semester. My personal favorite has to be Monkey Eating Banana. Mr. Baracus had questions about the style of karate that Max was teaching; he was concerned that it wasn't properly preparing themselves for what they might face in the real world.

Actually, I'm quite certain that Crane Descends from the Third Floor is excellent preparation.

World History had a written final, which students were a little worried about, although Karla still had time to admire Petra's tailoring of her uniform. The exam covered personal knowledge, and -- oh, Mrs. Evans, it looks like you stopped by to speak to Professor Lannister as well?

Darby: What? Oh, yes, I did. He's quite a pleasant man, although he did have questions about... the generosity of our illustrious benefactors.

Troy: Why are the squir-

Darby: Radio employees!

Troy: Right. Why are they handing me these notes? Oh, fine, I'll read them. Home Economics had recipes set out for the students for their final, and the students reacted to the news that they were having one. ... Why wouldn't they? Anyway, they all cooked, and apparently prayed that it was edible. I guess if it's not, they fail? And Philosophy 101's exam covered, well, philosophy. Students and board members were about before it started, and then Gideon spoke with Jaye after the exam. Apparently he's not convinced that the class is normally called Philosophy 101.

Ronan: Joke's on him for that one, really.

Darby: In the library, someone who should have been doing no such thing lowered a can of Red Bull to William, which he should not have been drinking in the library, because who lets that kind of thing in the library? And in the office, the Head of Accounting was enjoying his own Red Bull, apparently. "It gives you wings"? They need a better marketing department.

Troy: Actually, I think he actually had-

Darby: That would be silly, Troy.

Troy: Oh, right. My mistake.

Ronan: You were all busy in the dorms today, too, with Dave, uh, suffering from the inevitable result of drinking coffee.

Troy: Jitters?

Ronan: ... Let's go with that, yes. One of the board members, Lisa, gave him a call to try and stop him from drinking coffee, which, too late, and Miley showed up with coffee, but gave hers to him when she saw what it was doing. And apparently she came out on Leno? Oh, sorry, came out as Hannah Montana. Who knew we had such famous students?

Darby: Petra was tailoring students' uniforms for them, and while I feel I should object, anything that can be done to them while still staying within the confines of the uniform code should be allowed. Karla certainly agreed, although Loki apparently wished for one that wouldn't melt.

I feel perhaps I shouldn't ask why his was melting.

And Kenzi wanted hers to be... 'gothed up'? I'm not even certain what that means.

Ronan: Basically? Lots of black.

Darby: Ah, yes. And Tony was in his room, drinking coffee and working on his computer; Topher wanted to experiment with the inevitable results of drinking coffee, but Tony wouldn't let him, instead moving the conversation on to Topher's date with Billy. And, in her room, Annie was studying for finals after leading the board members on a tour of the dorm. That started in the lobby, where Annie had a sign and enthusiasm to match Ms. White's disdain, although Annie quite charmed the Howells. Lisa Miller wanted the tour to be completed quickly, and Lizzi *microphone feedback* thought Annie's sign needed more glitter, while B.A. thought it was nice just as it was.

Troy: In the second floor common room, Annie explained that there's lots of mingling between floors. The Howells met Squall, who talked about going into the military after graduation, Anna explained to Lisa that her non-uniform dress was for religious reasons, and Britta threw a smoke bomb into the common room. Although apparently it didn't work. Lucrezia explained that her family is descended from the Papal Borgias, Butters gave Thurston the impression that he's a vagrant and explained to Kenzi what's going on, and Kenzi -- who was wearing pyjamas -- was waved out of sight by Annie.

In the stables, Annie and Thurston talked about Princeton and dressage, while in the salle, Cara was working off aggression while Lizzi talked to her and Annie and Thurston discussed fencing. They also stopped by the flight shed, which Mr. Howell will have to wait for Professor Skywalker to use, and finally, at the school, Mr. Howell tipped Annie five dollars for her trouble.

Ronan: And in town yesterday, Karla had closed Dite's for the day and was doing inventory, when Kenzi showed up to ask about the sign. At Portalocity, Trick was putting out vacation brochures, and at Stark, Ender didn't mind the uniform, and when Ben shows up with lunch and coffee, they discover... the inevitable results of drinking it.

Troy: Seriously, why do you guys keep saying that?

Ronan: I'll explain later.

Troy: Okaaaaay. Anyway, at Turtle and Canary, Hank's got Squishies on special and a sale on school supplies, and when Samus shows up and asks about the clothed panda, she has to explain that she is, in fact, his boss. And that the panda is not a mascot. She was also at Caritas later on, where Jake had espresso-flavoured vodka, which -- oh, that's what you guys were talking about. Okay, that makes more sense. Anyway, yeah, Samus was there and complaining about her current mission, Thurston was looking for drink recomendations, and Kitty is totally not the manager, she just thinks Jake should make Tino clean the bathrooms.

Eric was bored at Salutations, where Stephen Colbert ordered the most American beer, but not Sam Adams because that would be philosophical. Eric then got a call from Jaina, although apparently he answered the phone with "Eric's Fluffy Bunny Fun Emporium and Spa," which, what? I thought the name-change to Salutations was weird.

Ronan: And I was in the clinic, doing perfectly normal paperwork. Oh, and if anyone would like a perfectly normal costume for anything, you should come talk to me and I can probably work something out for you. Just, if you need something.

Darby: At the Perk, Raven had tea -- and the inevitably results thereof -- and Karla's suggestion of energy drinks... didn't help much. Natalie and Sam were out and about on the streets when Gideon came by. He was overly familiar with Natalie, which angered Sam, but Natalie followed after him when he stormed off. And, lastly, Caroline led the Howells -- and myself, although I had to duck out early for a conference call -- on a tour of the island! She had highlighted maps for us, and she and I discussed how perfectly normal the island is before she took the Howells down Apocalypse Avenue, Serendipity Place, where she pointed out the jewellry store, and Jones Parkway, with its perfectly normal restaurants. They also stopped by the south gate of the school, with its perfectly normal businesses, until finally leading them to the causeway.

Where they tip Caroline and decide to stay a while longer.

Ronan: This would be the reason you're here this morning.

Darby: And it took you this long to figure that out?

Troy: ... That's what's going on. Oh, okay.

*long moment of silence*

Ronan: And on that note, that was your news of yesterday, today. We hope you enjoy your week.

Darby: Do try to stay on your best behaviour? We want to keep our best face forward for our benefactors!