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fandom_radio2007-03-05 12:58 am
nadiathesaint) wrote in fandom_radio2007-03-05 12:58 am
Fandom Radio, 3/4/07
*Sound of loud squirrel chittering for a few minutes before a thump of a door opening and closing*
Nadia: Shut up, I'm here, I'm here. Sorry, I had to take care of some things . . . Walter, just sit down, okay? The squirrels will leave you alone, I promise.--*Chittering*--Give me the notes.--*Chittering*--No, you have to give me the--*paper rustling, followed by a brief silence*--you're kidding.--*Chittering*--Look, first of all, this is a radio broadcast, that means they can't see--*chitterchitter*--Okay, but I don't think most of our listeners can--*chitter*--I'm trying to tell you. It won't work! I don't speak squirrel!--*chitterchitter*--well, yeah, but I totally make that up as I go along. I don't know what you're really saying to me--*chitter* *thwop*--OW! Okay, okay, enough with the acorns already!
*brief feedback*
Right. Hi, Fandom. Nadia Santos here on WTFH, where apparently the squirrels have gotten it into their heads that it's their turn to bring you the news of the day. Unfortunately, as I pointed out to them, we don't speak squirrel. But they're determined little buggers and so they've told me that I am to interpret for them.
So here it is, folks. WTFH, the interpretive dance version. *sighs*
Squirrel School!
Okay, get to it.
. . .
. . .
. . . Oh! I get it. The squirrels are lying on their backs. As if dead. Because nothing is happening in school news today, since it's Sunday and Spring Break. Clever, guys, really.
. . .
. . .
*whispered* Pedro isn't really dead, is he?--*chittering*--Oh good.
Dorms of Squirrelitude!
Five . . . group hug? . . . Come on, throw me a bone here, guys . . . definitely five, lot's of people, common room? . . . I never thought I'd see the day when a squirrel put its paw on its nose and pointed at me. Guess I got it right. So. Fifth floor common room. What about it? . . . is he being a snake? *sploosh* Hey! Okay, water, squirmy . . . yeah, you lost me. . . . Apparently snakes were cooking in the common room. . . . What are you guys doing?--*chittering*--. . . dirty. . . . Okay, I have no clue, so I'm just going to say that Jose the Squirrel is currently under a napkin and Maria the Squirrel is pretending to feed him something. . . . Wait, you mean Berthold? Got it. River and Berthold. Fifth floor common room. And some creepy guy is trying to look under the napkin.
I don't know, guys, I don't think this is going to work--*chittering*--Okay, we'll try another one.--*sound of nearly melodic chittering, and what might be a squirrel trying to imitate the wind*--Well I know what this one is, I was there. That's me playing my guitar on the roof--*giggling*--and I'm going to guess that the squirrel on stilts is Chad, who came up to hang out with me and--*did you know squirrels could sound stoned?*--wow, nice impression. Really. I'll have you know that this little plan of yours would be right out if I weren't stoned right now, so stop makin' fun of me and Chad smoking.
Okay, where did Juanita get the sticky-out pigtail wig? That's awesome. She's being Pippi in the fifth floor common room, right? And Maria the Squirrel has baskets, so she must be Willow. Why is she pretending to wave a sword? And now Marco the Squirrel is staggering around in a suit. Being Walter? And I guess Eva must be me, since she has a big blue thing and is being all worried about Juanita, who's being Pippi and Marco the Squirrel just tried to steal Eva's blue thingy, so that's me and Walter and now Eva is flashing Maria. Nice to know you guys get the real important information here, huh.
Walter: Wait. When did your chest get furry, Nadia?
Nadia: . . . That's a squirrel, Walter. She's just pretending to be me.
Okay, now, Maria the Squirrel is wearing a blonde wig and packing a bag. So someone blonde is going somewhere? And she's talking to Pedro the Squirrel who's drawing her a star chart, and Jose the Squirrel, who's chain smoking and looking sort of conflicted, which means it could be anyone, but my money's on Anders, and Juanita the Squirrel wearing little tiny prada shoes and is giving Maria presents and they're both really sniffly . . . *sound of someone blowing their nose* . . . no, no, I'm fine, it's just dust in here. And there's Marco the Squirrel and awwwwww, Marco and Maria are hugging and being sad and waving goodbye and I think I'm going to cry! Oh, but here comes Maurice the Squirrel and he's being all flirty--that has to be Jack--and making Maria laugh and Eva the Squirrel has a little squirrel sized stuffed cat on her shoulder, so I'm betting she's being Alanna with Faithful, and there's Carlos the Squirrel walking Maria off into the fake sunset . . . *sniffling* . . . that was beautiful guys, seriously. *applause*
Okay, now you lost me again. Pedro the Squirrel appears to be trying to tell the other squirrels to put their shirts on? Oh. They're moving on. Now Carlos and Jose the Squirrels are talking and Marco the Squirrel is wearing red and coming to talk to--oh! Oh! Marco is Conner! And Carlos just got all neurotic and huffy. I dunno. Juanita the Squirrel is wearing a hat. Oh! She's Molly! And Maurice the Squirrel is coming to talk to her . . . carrying a globe.
I don't know where these guys get these props, seriously. And I sure as heck don't know what they're trying to tell me, here.
Pedro the Squirrel is now playing on a little squirrel-sized X-box. Good job, Pedro. And in another room, Juanita the Squirrel and Carlos the Squirrel, who's not being neurotic any more, are talking about . . . *chittering, horrible squirrelly chittering* . . . I really, really, really, really don't want to know what they just tried to act out, but it seems to have something to do with green antenae and things going where they are not supposed to go. And now Maurice as flirty!Jack and Marco as the one that made me all sniffly are . . . talking? I think Maurice is supposed to be drunk . . . about Maria in the blonde wig? Okay, so Jack and whoever Marco is supposed to be talked about whoever Maria is pretending to be and how she's leaving.
And possibly squirrelkissy--*thwop!*--Ow! Okay, that wasn't funny, sorry!
Jose the Squirrel is on the phone. Eva the Squirrel isonly performing bit parts, omg writing letters. Whoever they are pretending to be did boring things, today.
Squown!
So, Principal Washburn and Mr. Winchester (I can tell it's them because the squirrels made a big tower out of old coffee cups and Maria the Squirrel has a look of "omg, stupid teenagers" on her face and Jose the Squirrel has a little toy squirrel rifle) made breakfast this morning, and talked about . . . oh, no, I'm not saying what I think the squirrels want me to say. I don't want detention. Wilson and Aziraphale (nice wings, Pedro, but stop with the limp wristed stuff. That's offensive) did their Wilson and Aziraphale thing, and I'm really glad the squirrels aren't miming cutting hands off. And apparently Aziraphale cleaned the house.
I totally should have thought of that last night when I couldn't sleep because I was really really . . . the squirrels are staring at me. I'm going to move on, now.
Okay, giant coffee cup . . . the Perk? Right. Someone's at the Perk. . . . Maria the Squirrel comes in to join him, so is she the person who's leaving, or what? . . . This really, really, really isn't working, guys. I don't know who you're talking about, and I think our audience is now thoroughly confused and look over there, there's something amazingly interesting occurring on that wall!--*chittering*--*paper rustling*--Suckers. Okay, now that I actually have the notes, it looks like that was Jarod at the Perk waiting for Isabel, who told him she's leaving Fandom. What? No! See, guys, this information totally wouldn't have been reported properly if I hadn't tricked--*thwop*--OW! Look, you guys can still do your interpretive dance, and I'll read the notes, and we'll tell everyone that we have the most avant garde squirrels in the world working at WTFH, okay? . . . Okay. Yeesh.
Walter: *whispers* Nadia. Nadia. Hey, Nadia! The squirrels. Are they really...?
Nadia: Yeah, they're really wearing wigs, Walter. And they're really here.
In other news, Weiss was waiting for Dawn at Jeff, God of Biscuits. . . . Dude, I wish I had a camera. You people have to see the squirrels trying to act out "Jeff, God of Biscuits". I don't even want to know where they got the floating cookie from. . . . but, anyway, Dawn let Eric know what he missed while he was sick. That was very nice of her.
Oh, hey, the floating cookie might work here, too, guys, because apparently there was an alien space ship hovering over the park. . . . Wait, what? Okay, that kind of explains a lot, doesn't it. Apparently Rose, Deadpool, Tori, Conner, Shawn, Chris, Wyatt, and Setsuna all went to go "ooo, shiny!" at it. Maybe they thought that they were angels. But much to their surprise, they climbed into their starship and headed for the skies.
Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with meeeeeeeeyou guys seriously
. . .
I'm done. Though, apparently, there was climbing aboard happening, because they all came back later. Good. Would hate to lose anyone to the aliens.
I swear, this town. . . .
Walter: I'm confused.
Nadia: I'll explain it to you when you're not completely off your gourd.
In the not-so-surprising news, GOB got drunk at Caritas. So did Parker and Jack and Rose came in and chatted with Parker.
Shuichi opened the Devil's Nest and hung out with the nun and didn't get yelled at by his boss. Go him.
Finally, the clinic was quiet in the morning with just poor Bridge in attendance (feel better, Bridgey!), but the evening shift had visitors for Bridge, Billy bringing Ami in, and Rose helping Liz. Here's hoping everyone is alright and all severed body parts have been reattached.
That's it from me, today, folks. The squirrels are taking bows. Clap for them. Or, don't, that will encourage them to try again next week and there's only so much squirrel charades a girl can handle. Say good night, Walter,
Walter: *mumbles something, already heading for the door to escape the evil squirrel eyes*
Nadia: That'll work.
[ooc: I may have inhaled too many cleaning fumes this weekend.]
Nadia: Shut up, I'm here, I'm here. Sorry, I had to take care of some things . . . Walter, just sit down, okay? The squirrels will leave you alone, I promise.--*Chittering*--Give me the notes.--*Chittering*--No, you have to give me the--*paper rustling, followed by a brief silence*--you're kidding.--*Chittering*--Look, first of all, this is a radio broadcast, that means they can't see--*chitterchitter*--Okay, but I don't think most of our listeners can--*chitter*--I'm trying to tell you. It won't work! I don't speak squirrel!--*chitterchitter*--well, yeah, but I totally make that up as I go along. I don't know what you're really saying to me--*chitter* *thwop*--OW! Okay, okay, enough with the acorns already!
*brief feedback*
Right. Hi, Fandom. Nadia Santos here on WTFH, where apparently the squirrels have gotten it into their heads that it's their turn to bring you the news of the day. Unfortunately, as I pointed out to them, we don't speak squirrel. But they're determined little buggers and so they've told me that I am to interpret for them.
So here it is, folks. WTFH, the interpretive dance version. *sighs*
Squirrel School!
Okay, get to it.
. . .
. . .
. . . Oh! I get it. The squirrels are lying on their backs. As if dead. Because nothing is happening in school news today, since it's Sunday and Spring Break. Clever, guys, really.
. . .
. . .
*whispered* Pedro isn't really dead, is he?--*chittering*--Oh good.
Dorms of Squirrelitude!
Five . . . group hug? . . . Come on, throw me a bone here, guys . . . definitely five, lot's of people, common room? . . . I never thought I'd see the day when a squirrel put its paw on its nose and pointed at me. Guess I got it right. So. Fifth floor common room. What about it? . . . is he being a snake? *sploosh* Hey! Okay, water, squirmy . . . yeah, you lost me. . . . Apparently snakes were cooking in the common room. . . . What are you guys doing?--*chittering*--. . . dirty. . . . Okay, I have no clue, so I'm just going to say that Jose the Squirrel is currently under a napkin and Maria the Squirrel is pretending to feed him something. . . . Wait, you mean Berthold? Got it. River and Berthold. Fifth floor common room. And some creepy guy is trying to look under the napkin.
I don't know, guys, I don't think this is going to work--*chittering*--Okay, we'll try another one.--*sound of nearly melodic chittering, and what might be a squirrel trying to imitate the wind*--Well I know what this one is, I was there. That's me playing my guitar on the roof--*giggling*--and I'm going to guess that the squirrel on stilts is Chad, who came up to hang out with me and--*did you know squirrels could sound stoned?*--wow, nice impression. Really. I'll have you know that this little plan of yours would be right out if I weren't stoned right now, so stop makin' fun of me and Chad smoking.
Okay, where did Juanita get the sticky-out pigtail wig? That's awesome. She's being Pippi in the fifth floor common room, right? And Maria the Squirrel has baskets, so she must be Willow. Why is she pretending to wave a sword? And now Marco the Squirrel is staggering around in a suit. Being Walter? And I guess Eva must be me, since she has a big blue thing and is being all worried about Juanita, who's being Pippi and Marco the Squirrel just tried to steal Eva's blue thingy, so that's me and Walter and now Eva is flashing Maria. Nice to know you guys get the real important information here, huh.
Walter: Wait. When did your chest get furry, Nadia?
Nadia: . . . That's a squirrel, Walter. She's just pretending to be me.
Okay, now, Maria the Squirrel is wearing a blonde wig and packing a bag. So someone blonde is going somewhere? And she's talking to Pedro the Squirrel who's drawing her a star chart, and Jose the Squirrel, who's chain smoking and looking sort of conflicted, which means it could be anyone, but my money's on Anders, and Juanita the Squirrel wearing little tiny prada shoes and is giving Maria presents and they're both really sniffly . . . *sound of someone blowing their nose* . . . no, no, I'm fine, it's just dust in here. And there's Marco the Squirrel and awwwwww, Marco and Maria are hugging and being sad and waving goodbye and I think I'm going to cry! Oh, but here comes Maurice the Squirrel and he's being all flirty--that has to be Jack--and making Maria laugh and Eva the Squirrel has a little squirrel sized stuffed cat on her shoulder, so I'm betting she's being Alanna with Faithful, and there's Carlos the Squirrel walking Maria off into the fake sunset . . . *sniffling* . . . that was beautiful guys, seriously. *applause*
Okay, now you lost me again. Pedro the Squirrel appears to be trying to tell the other squirrels to put their shirts on? Oh. They're moving on. Now Carlos and Jose the Squirrels are talking and Marco the Squirrel is wearing red and coming to talk to--oh! Oh! Marco is Conner! And Carlos just got all neurotic and huffy. I dunno. Juanita the Squirrel is wearing a hat. Oh! She's Molly! And Maurice the Squirrel is coming to talk to her . . . carrying a globe.
I don't know where these guys get these props, seriously. And I sure as heck don't know what they're trying to tell me, here.
Pedro the Squirrel is now playing on a little squirrel-sized X-box. Good job, Pedro. And in another room, Juanita the Squirrel and Carlos the Squirrel, who's not being neurotic any more, are talking about . . . *chittering, horrible squirrelly chittering* . . . I really, really, really, really don't want to know what they just tried to act out, but it seems to have something to do with green antenae and things going where they are not supposed to go. And now Maurice as flirty!Jack and Marco as the one that made me all sniffly are . . . talking? I think Maurice is supposed to be drunk . . . about Maria in the blonde wig? Okay, so Jack and whoever Marco is supposed to be talked about whoever Maria is pretending to be and how she's leaving.
And possibly squirrelkissy--*thwop!*--Ow! Okay, that wasn't funny, sorry!
Jose the Squirrel is on the phone. Eva the Squirrel is
Squown!
So, Principal Washburn and Mr. Winchester (I can tell it's them because the squirrels made a big tower out of old coffee cups and Maria the Squirrel has a look of "omg, stupid teenagers" on her face and Jose the Squirrel has a little toy squirrel rifle) made breakfast this morning, and talked about . . . oh, no, I'm not saying what I think the squirrels want me to say. I don't want detention. Wilson and Aziraphale (nice wings, Pedro, but stop with the limp wristed stuff. That's offensive) did their Wilson and Aziraphale thing, and I'm really glad the squirrels aren't miming cutting hands off. And apparently Aziraphale cleaned the house.
I totally should have thought of that last night when I couldn't sleep because I was really really . . . the squirrels are staring at me. I'm going to move on, now.
Okay, giant coffee cup . . . the Perk? Right. Someone's at the Perk. . . . Maria the Squirrel comes in to join him, so is she the person who's leaving, or what? . . . This really, really, really isn't working, guys. I don't know who you're talking about, and I think our audience is now thoroughly confused and look over there, there's something amazingly interesting occurring on that wall!--*chittering*--*paper rustling*--Suckers. Okay, now that I actually have the notes, it looks like that was Jarod at the Perk waiting for Isabel, who told him she's leaving Fandom. What? No! See, guys, this information totally wouldn't have been reported properly if I hadn't tricked--*thwop*--OW! Look, you guys can still do your interpretive dance, and I'll read the notes, and we'll tell everyone that we have the most avant garde squirrels in the world working at WTFH, okay? . . . Okay. Yeesh.
Walter: *whispers* Nadia. Nadia. Hey, Nadia! The squirrels. Are they really...?
Nadia: Yeah, they're really wearing wigs, Walter. And they're really here.
In other news, Weiss was waiting for Dawn at Jeff, God of Biscuits. . . . Dude, I wish I had a camera. You people have to see the squirrels trying to act out "Jeff, God of Biscuits". I don't even want to know where they got the floating cookie from. . . . but, anyway, Dawn let Eric know what he missed while he was sick. That was very nice of her.
Oh, hey, the floating cookie might work here, too, guys, because apparently there was an alien space ship hovering over the park. . . . Wait, what? Okay, that kind of explains a lot, doesn't it. Apparently Rose, Deadpool, Tori, Conner, Shawn, Chris, Wyatt, and Setsuna all went to go "ooo, shiny!" at it. Maybe they thought that they were angels. But much to their surprise, they climbed into their starship and headed for the skies.
Come sail away, come sail away, come sail away with meeeeeeee
. . .
I'm done. Though, apparently, there was climbing aboard happening, because they all came back later. Good. Would hate to lose anyone to the aliens.
I swear, this town. . . .
Walter: I'm confused.
Nadia: I'll explain it to you when you're not completely off your gourd.
In the not-so-surprising news, GOB got drunk at Caritas. So did Parker and Jack and Rose came in and chatted with Parker.
Shuichi opened the Devil's Nest and hung out with the nun and didn't get yelled at by his boss. Go him.
Finally, the clinic was quiet in the morning with just poor Bridge in attendance (feel better, Bridgey!), but the evening shift had visitors for Bridge, Billy bringing Ami in, and Rose helping Liz. Here's hoping everyone is alright and all severed body parts have been reattached.
That's it from me, today, folks. The squirrels are taking bows. Clap for them. Or, don't, that will encourage them to try again next week and there's only so much squirrel charades a girl can handle. Say good night, Walter,
Walter: *mumbles something, already heading for the door to escape the evil squirrel eyes*
Nadia: That'll work.
[ooc: I may have inhaled too many cleaning fumes this weekend.]
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Then she dragged a hair ribbon on the carpet for an hour for Annie, watching the kitten chase it. And deliberately not thinking about Isabel.
[ooc: *soooo much giggling and applause*]
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