Fandom Radio, February 13th

[rustyboywonder.livejournal.com]

Deadpool: "Students, Teachers, random people in town... Lend me your ears!"

Venture: "That's Deadpool, and I'm Dr. Venture. And I personally hate you all, so we're going to just get this going so I can stop pretending I care about what you did today."

School

Deadpool: "Today in the world of schoolishness, 20th Century History visits the Great Depression. Wait, literally? Did they bring back mobsters? Or maybe give food to those poor starving people in the bread lines? Of course, I'd just throw things at them, but that's just me. Driver's Ed, my class and therefore the best class ever, practiced night driving. Very important skill. The kiddies all waited around the parking lot for their chance to drive. Ranma was up first. Then Evie was on a horrible sugar high that scared me while she gossiped with Buffy about whether or not Seely would ask her to the big dance. Then it was Demyx stealing my heart. My achy breaky heart. Zack was nervous about driving death on four wheels while I gave my lovable T.A. a picture of Dazzler. The non-naked one, that is. Z was the last to drive, and tried to lecture me about car safety! Me! I'm the safest person here."

Venture:: "That's because you're the one with the guns. The rest of us are in deep trouble."

Deadpool: "I'm very good with the gun safety! I hardy ever accidently shoot anyone. Superheroing 101 foiled bank robberies, which was very courageous of them. Though I think knowing how to rob the bank would be a better skill. The beautiful Captain Liberty answered questions before the students went off and faught crime. Teddy, Young Avenger! Where have you been? Anyway, Teddy checked to make sure that Peter Petrelli wasn't evil. Did he have a goatee? Peter Petrelli, who may or may not have a goatee, asked Liberty a question after class."

Venture:: "What sort of question was it? A 'I want to be a teacher's pet' sort of question involving violating a lot of the school regulations?"

Deadpool: "How very Mary Kay Letourneau of her. Home Ec was dildo-less and instead practiced for the midterm. Tyler, my newest minion, made pancakes with Alec-the-goat. I gotta say, I'm concerned that my new minion is involved with a goat. Some love just isn't okay with me."

Venture:: "A goat? That's just disgusting."

Deadpool: "I know. I'll have to have a talk with him about it. Annette and River made waffles and the adorable lesbian and my other new minion, Setsuna, tossed a salad, while Six made sandwiches. Layla, Dean, and Dawn made juice and milkshakes. And the real question is whether or not they brought the boys to the yard."

Venture: "Wait, the lesbians tossed salad? Are we sure that isn't a euphemism?"

Deadpool: "I know! It's too good to be true. And speaking of lesbains, dildo cozies were turned in. Hooray for the return of the dildos! Emma met Tyler's secret love, Alec-the-goat. And River thanked her for the weekend. *sigh* I never thought there was a lesbian innuendo that I didn't want to make, but there it is."

Venture: "You don't want to make lesbian innuendo about the hot woman who walks around mostly naked?"

Deadpool: "If I'm going to call Emma Frost a lesbian it's going to be due to the subtext with Kitty Pryde or Jean Grey, not a student. Revolutions learned about teamwork. What? Like the kind that gets you stabbed in the back? That kind? The students
teamed up and went through an obstacle course. Then Alec-the-goat headbutted Parker into the mudpit. Tyler, you might want to check on your...goatfriend. Bridge scowled at Aly who offered to let him push her into the mud. I am all for that! Mud wrestling for everyone!"

Venture: "I personally prefer Jell-o wrestling. Much hotter."

Deadpool: "Stickier though. Aly, in a shocking show of support for REALLY alternative lifestyles, had Alec-the-goat man the mudpit and then talked to Zuko about mentoring. Aww, you're his mentor, Aly? Give him a big hug from me. Zen Computer Science played a game in the Danger place. A, dare I say it, deadly game?
Advanced Tactics learned about the nu-clear age. Is it nu-clear or nuc-lear?"

Venture: "Depends on whether or not you want to take over the world."

Deadpool: "Maybe I do. Daisy had office hours and was visited by Jake. I was also in my office today and had a visit from Peter Parker, my other new minion. I love my new minions. Dr Wilson was visited by Lana, Candy, Nadia, Pippi and Aziraphale, who also had office hours. No lady can resist a man named Wilson. John Winchester was also visited by the ladies, Buffy and Dawn, despite not being named Wilson. And the office is open!"

Venture: "Like the cheap hooker it is."

Deadpool: "Only with less STDs. Dueling Club met and talked and then made introductions. Boring. Get with the fighting! Ah, they then had practical demonstrations. That's fighting, right? Dr Orpheus was there, not being a rip-off of Dr. Strange at all. Alpha Beta Gremlin also met and also talked, but then started brainstorming to mix it up a bit. Summer for, you guessed it, more talking."

Venture: "You know, this would've been a lot more interesting if they were just f**king each other."

Deadpool: "It would, it really would! The best club ever, that should have had more people join, Young Entrepenuers met and they made the most adorable business cards ever. Both I and Turtle were around for, and I loathe to say this, talking."

Venture: "Again, everything would be better with f**king. And screw the FCC, I'll say f**k as many times as I want. F**k f**k f**k f**k f**k."

Deadpool: "...are you implying something with Turtle?"

Venture: "I would never f**k a turtle. That'd be like the goat! Only smaller and slimy and dear god that's not what the holes in the shell are for!"

Deadpool: *gun cocking* "We don't talk about my minion like that, understood?"

Venture: "Oh, the girl. I thought we were talking about the animal. No, definitely not f**king her, either. That'd be illegal."

Deadpool: "And murder-worthy behavior. Sam opened the library and then talked to Parker about his visions. DO they tell us who will win sporting events? No? Then shut up. Then Sam talked to Peter Petrelli. Who apparently has the power to shrink and got naked in the hallway. Peter? That's not a power, that''s just sad."

Dorms

Venture: "Everyone has the power to get naked. The shrinking part, well, that's why they invented Enzyte. So apparently this girl Nadia pollutes the air with crappy loud music and surfs the internet. Most likely for porn. The furry kid is anti-noise pollution, and this makes the porn surfer suspicious. Pippi bragged about foiling a bank robber, and I assume that means something other than covering him with Reynold's Wrap, as that wouldn't really be much of an achievement."

Deadpool: "But it is quite fun. You've never lived until you wrapped some poor person in tin foil."

Venture: "Walter talked about an obstacle course, which really isn't that interesting sounding. The furry thinks the island is stagnant. Obviously something needs to be done to stir things up. I hereby declare tommorow public lesbian orgy day, and all the women need to have a big orgy in the park tommorow. That will stop stagnation."

Deadpool: "You, good sir, have my vote on that."

Venture: "Walter demands his girlfriend dance for him, covered in mud. Only mud? Kinky. And then Billy learns old news. Wonderful."

Deadpool: "Momma used to dance for the money they'd throw..."

Venture: "Isabel was womanning a table today, which sounds really dirty. She taught Katara the true meaning of Valentine's Day which is, of course, that all women are crazy and will betray you and once you actually f**k them you're really best off shooting them or running the hell away. The stripper-named Tori has no date. Apparently she can't even give it away, now. Ami filled Isabel in. And I'm leaving that sentence there, as the more context it gets, the less dirty it is."

Deadpool: "Context is for the weak."

Venture: "The not-lesbian River discovered the dance, and Parker ordered flowers. Yawn. Oh, now this is funny. Blair and his blanket hung out on the roof. Someone having some security issues? Oh, no, apparently River shows up so they can work out Miranda issues. Sleeping around on your girl, huh? Good for you! Shawn showed up with a guitar, and then Blair offered Billy a stoic ear. I wonder if that was literal?"

Deadpool: "That hurts. Believe me on that. Just. Ouch."

Venture: "And in news of the pathetic, Naomi ate lunch alone. Oh, and so did Chad. Apparently they were so pathetic as to repel each other."

Deadpool: "Not the giant Mexican kid!"

Venture: "Neil makes grilled cheese, but probably not as good as Brock makes. In fact, I'd bet on that. Neil meets the Japanese lesbian, the lesbian stares at Nova, and the lesbian figures out she knows Annette. Biblicially."

Deadpool: "Minion! Adorable lesbian minion! I fully support you lifestyle choices and will be there for you if you choose to date Annette."

Venture: "And in happy conversations, Mac and Annette discussed drowning. Annette and the stripper girl discussed fashion choices. Obviously, the choice should be naked. Mac, the American lesbian, talked with the Japanese lesbian, and then they done sex. And then Marco told Katara something that wasn't a story. Well, that totally isn't vague. And finally, the stripper and Katara glee about snow. Which I'm taking as a code word for f**king."

Deadpool: "Parker checked in on Chris, then she made a phone call. Ever the social butterfly, Parker was then visited by Cally, the other lesbian and then got yelled at by Rose. Lovers quarrels are never good. Then she gaveBlair a hug. Anders was visited by Wyatt and was drunk. Was he drunk because of Wyatt? Nadia and Pippi were in their room. Doing, what my bald co-host?"

Venture: "F**king. Which is so the word of the day. Like dildo, last week."

Deadpool: "The suspense is over folks, Buffy and Seely are going to the dance together."

Venture: "Yawn. Wake me up when they get to third base. Ami and John Conner put up posters. About f**king. And then Valentine 'hums and juggles', which is totally just him masturbating. Jack and Sam wake up. The fact they did is apparently news. And apparently it's also news for John and Aeryn, who were cuddly. If there wasn't sex involved, John officially is the gayest man alive. Turtle jumps on her bed, that brat, and Wyatt checks in on an ultra-tired Tannim. Probably because of his constant masturbation. And finally, Jamie gets Marie off for Valentine's Day. Oh. Takes her off island. Whatever. The first version was better."

Town

Deadpool: "But she'd suck him dry and not in a good way! Cafe Fina was open today and offered free pants with every meal. Can we get those pants tomorrow? I didn't notice that when I stopped by there today. I like pants."

Venture: "Except on women, I agree."

Deadpool: "Well one woman I wouldn't like them on wears skirts, so it's all good. Of course, she also wears a habit and opened the church while sharing just how crazy Catholic girls can be. I sure hope Catholic girls are crazy or else tomorrow night won't be any fun. Hulkling opened Sparky's and made plans with the biggest damn Mexican ever.
Luna opened Wonka's and was visited by Annette and River, who both came in search of candy. Turtle & Canary opened, as did Fourth Sin by Jarod and Photo Hut by Leo. There's a whorehouse in town and I've never been. Something is terribly wrong with this."

Venture: "You know, I think they might turn you away at the door. Kevin Flynn, that righteous bastard, was at Caritas tonight. And Shoe-itchy asks the hot nun about Valentine's decorations at the Devil's Nest. Wait... the nun is at the Devil's Nest? You think she's stripping out of her vows? ...and her habit?"

Deadpool: "Woo! Go Rosette! TAKE IT OFF!"

Venture: "The clinic is quiet during the day, and is even quieter at night, thanks to a ninja."

Deadpool: "Dildo McNinja!"

Venture: "And that's all the news that squirrels saw fit to write notes about. You can shut your f**king radio off now. F**k."

[ooc: Venture may hate you all, but the player loves you guys. These ICly said things are merely that, IC rantings. Danke.]