Fandom Radio :: Saturday, October 1st.

[geewhizfellas.livejournal.com]

Do-do-dooo! It's the big Texas Butters Show! And here he is, Biiiiiig Texas Butters!

Well, howdy, there, pardners, I'm Biiiiig Texas Butters! And these are my squirrels, Mamma and Pappa! ♪ Happy Traaaaails to you! ♪ Well, yesterday was the start of Parents' Weekend, so we got a lot of notes to get through today and a lot of stuff to report, so let's get right t--

Stephen: Butters! There you are, son! Say, is this that radio station you were telling us about?

Linda: Our little Butters, with his own radio show and everything.

Butters: Aw, hamburgers, Mom and Dad! I'm on the air right now!

Stephen: Well, don't let us stop you, Butters. We'll just see how you work your magic and read that news.

Linda: And don't say any bad words, sweetie.

Butters: Shuck, Mom, I won't!

Stephen: You better not, or you'll be grounded, Mister.

Butters: Yes, sir. Well, let's get to the news then.



BUtters: Not a lot of classes were goin' on in SCHOOL yesterday, on account of all the visitors. That women class was canceled, for example, and so was Don't Be Evil.

Stephen: Say, you're in that class, aren't you, Butters?

Butters: Yes, sir.

Stephen: Is it working?

Butters: Gee, I sure hope so, sir!

Stephen: Good, because you know you'll be grounded if you're evil, Butters

Butters: I know...Er, anyway, Fifteen Labors of Fandom did have class today, which was at the Gig, where they got to clean up those stables. And Miss Davis sure was glad that Mr. Hercules brought all that extra help for her.

Stephen: Now, see, that's what I'd call a load of horseshit!

Linda: *laughing* Stephen!

Butters: Hehe, good one, Dad! At the library, Wesley was havin' a problem with inapprorpiate books, but Miss Belle and her boyfriend didn't seem to mind as she was showin' off the library to him and trying to convince him to get some computers in their library at home.

Then, in the DORMS, a lot of people probably tried to pull their rooms together to make sure they looked nice; I know I spent a lot of time makin' sure all the pantries were organized!

Stephen: That's my boy! A well-organized pantry keeps a family together, isn't that right, Butters?

Butters: Yes, sir! But Hank got a call from his dad, who was in a bit of a sticky situation, so he couldn't make it for the weekend. And Seifer was hangin' out with George's sister Reggie, who was readin' a magazine and askin' Seifer all about his weird name and his dead parents. Apparently, though, George wasn't too happy to see her sister; she freaked out and had to have Seifer calm her down! I guess not everyone's got guests they like. Cara's waiting in her room with the door locked, even.

In TOWN, there's a big drinkin' party goin' on at the lighthouse cottage with Miss Creed, Mr. Nast, and their friends, Savannah and Bryce. At Luke's Diner, Bod was distracted, so he didn't talk much as he titied up the place, but Ms. Adams tried to be friendly over at Turtle & Canary. Rilla was providing tours of the island, and even offered Bart's friend Max a map after makin' sure he could read English. Death didn't want a map, but he wanted to make sure Rilla showed him the prettiest places.

Three people showed up on the Causeway, and apparently, they were lookin' for Mr. Ohio and surprised by the lack of zombies, so clearly, they hadn't made it to the bar yet! Ben was workin' on Warren's fridge at Stark Industries, where Warren's girlfriend sulked at him while Warren's girlfriend's friend grinned a lot and asked what a minivan was. Then Ben's dad and Vestara showed up to bicker a little and wanted to know if any of Ben's friends should be turned into Sith. Peggy and Dum Dum showed up, too, and got to learn all about bein' in the future and their friend Mr. Stark havin' a son and their friend Mr. Rogers still bein' alive. Hooray!

Tara tidied up The Magic Box and warned people not to read outloud from the magic books. Mr. Northman got ready for visitors at the Devil's Nest, too, where Bubba ordered a drink and watched the door, and Mr. Marsh got a beer. Death had to get a milkshake because he didn't have an ID, and so Bubba suggested banana and peanut butter. Saskia was dancin', and Sookie grabbed a Coke and went visitin' with Mr. Northman and her friend Pam. Pam also got to catch up with Mr. Northman; she was happy about eating pretty things, but not about zombie bands and Mr. Northman beatin' her at Words with Friends.

Coyote Medicine was all ready for visitors, too, and so was the Gig, which had Mr. Hercules' class cleanin' up in it today! Toby let the droids pick the specials at that one restaurant, and Seifer had a special at Groovy Tunes.

There sure were at lot of logs at The Arms Hotel, where Saskia tried hittin' on Miss Connell, but it didn't work too well. Then a bunch of alien worms tried to hit on her, too. Queen Valanice had tea and Death did some people watchin'.

Stephen: Butters, you shouldn't make up news like that.

Butters: I didn't, Dad! That's what it all says right here, look at it here.

Stephen: Well, I'll be...

Butters: So, see, I'm not makin' up nothin'. Miss Jessica was pouty at Cariats, but she got a Jack in the bar, even if Jack was all confused about Melanie, who's girl Sam's twin sister, and Miss Jessica was confused because Melanie wanted a smoothie. And then Jack paid Miss Jessica two hundred dollars to make sure Zoe didn't drink nothin' alcoholic, which made Zoe pout a lot this time. Henry just thought Jack was being a great big old hypocrite.

Ben got a big surprise at Jeff, God of Biscuits, because Vestara was there and he accused her of licking all the cookies! Mr. Mulder was there, hiding from women except for Scully, and Mr. Nolan ordered Snickerdoodles. Lucivar reminded Ben that they had planned a spar when he and Karla went to get snacks because they sure as heck aren't gonna eat Karla's cookies, and Mr. Nolan totally flirted with Lucivar, who also got to meet Mr. Mulder and Scully. Lucivar and Vestara mostly just exchanged glance,s though, probably because she was too busy licking cookies, and Karla was all possessive about Ben when she met the Cookie Licker.

There was also a special iCarly broadcast, since the whole gang was here visiting, but Carly wasn't dealin' so well with the island. And you'll just have to go watch the broadcast to see what happened! There's a duck!

There was also a great big Picnic in the Park because everyone's parents and friends showed up for Parents' Weekend! All the guests got to register, where Miss Granger met up with her friend Ron to reminice about old times on the island; Emily and Aria did a lot of comparing Fandom High to their own school, while Jack warned his sister Zoe about the gremlins in the vents.

Linda: About the whats in the vents?

Butters: Nothin', Mom! It's just a joke they play on people. There's nothin' like gremins or even underpants gnomes in the vents, I swear it.

Stephen: There better not be anything in the vents, Butters, or else you're grounded.

Butters: Yes, sir. Miss Granger talked with her friend Harry about books, before Harry and Ron caught up after being away for so long. Nicholas and John Aaron talked about their nametags, which I think according to this, they decorated with quotation marks, and then a lot of people, Pam and Melanie, and Gibby and Marissa and Carly and Spencer, gathered around their nametags and probably talked and stuff.

More talking was to be had as everyone mingled; poor Kate had to listen to Greg's Opinions about her Schooling. Miley found her dad, Robby Ray, and shouted at her brother Jackson. Moz and Neal talked conspiracies, and then Moz and Peter talked about how Peter's wife would be better company, and then Kenzi told Moz about the squirrels, which probably sounded crazy, but is actually one of the least crazy things she could do.

There was a lot of shrieking between Miley and Lilly, especially about Miss Pie, because they're girls. Sam's not listening to Frank and Ramon bickering about nametags, and I think Kell accused Nathan of bein' underendowed. That would definitely explain why he's so obsessed with wieners all the time.

Lila and Baron totally surprised Cassel, and Peter Wiggin found his parents before his parents talked to Ben's dad about their sons. Bod was surprised that Scarlett's there, not thinkin' he's a monster or anything, and Goose goes and says hi to Comannder Walsh. Miss Morrigan and her mother talked about clothes and weather and cooking like women do.

Xena and Mulder caught up with each other since last Parents' Weekend, and then Xena talked with Bran about why their friends are at Fandom High. Seifer had ask Xena about her weapon thingamagig, too, because his friend Selphie might be interested in something like that. Petra told Tiara all about ponies and teacup dragons, while Chuck was all nice by waiting for his sister Ellie before gettin' pizza. Then he traded his pizza from some candy from Juliet's basket.

Toby introduced his friend Ray to Krazy Kenzi, and I hope he remembered to mention that she's crazy, and Hanna asked Emily if any of her other friends had shown up. Apparently, Aria doesn't think Hanna did a very good job of explainin' how weird Fandom is, but even with that, Hanna had a chance to hear about Mercy's visitor, too.

Moz totally caught Krazy Kenzi trying to steal his wallet, but let her have it because it was a fake one, Neal introduced Peter to Krazy Kenzi, too, and they talked about Neal bein' a cat or something. Spock's mom broguth him presents and then pointed out that Fandom was illogical, which means Spock's mom is Captain Obvious.

Mr. Ohio had a lot of visitors who were also named after places like Tallahassee, Witchita, and Little Rock; they got to meet Seifer, who talked about Mr. Ohio's zombie class. And Freddie's mom insisted on vaccuuming Freddie's earwax and checking his glucose.

Linda: That Freddie's mother sounds like a very caring mother. Which reminds me, Butters, have you taken your supossitory yet today?

Butters: Er, yes, ma'am.

Linda: That's my Butters! Go ahead, dear, there's still a lot more notes there!

Butters: *sigh* Yes, ma'am. There was security to help make sure everyone was all safe, though Jaime wasn't quite sure what Miss Bo was supposed to be protecting, exactly. Then Mr. Skywalker checks in with her to make sure no one's tried to kill anyone yet.

People sure did kill the food, though, since they always offer so many great snacks and drinks here! Luke wasn't as happy to see Kelli as he was to see food, and he tried to get her to go home. He's totally out of luck, though. Mr. Gardner gave his friend Kilowog a hard time about the mini-muffins, but that doesn't sway Kilowog from recommending them to Kyle. Mr. Gardner wasn't too happy at Kyle, though, because apparently he's to blame for him bein' stuck teaching Sensitivity Training. Sounds like Mr. Gardner could use to take his own class!

Sookie surprises Bobby by showin' up and being all cute at him, and he tell him about his friend Hank, who's all blue and fuzzy like a cookie monster. Tyrion and Jaime notice there's a lack of a brothel in Fandom, but at least it smells nicer, and Tony introduced his friend Rhodey to Topher, and they started makin' fun of Tony, so they definitely hit it off. Topher even offered to show Rhodey his tattoo! If Ben was hiding, he was doin' a bad job of it because Tony came over and talked to him about Peter and Ender, while Pam Puckett tried to hit on Fox Mulder; Melanie came to Mr. Mulder's rescue, though, and he managed to escape. Sam wasn't so lucky; she wound up growling and wrestling her mother, that's how unhappy she was to see her. Is that anything like the wrestling you do, Dad?

Stephen: ............*cough* No, Butters.

Butters: Oh, okay! Anyway, Quinn figured Ms. Puckett was talkin' about Kenzi when she said her daughter was a delinquent, because Quinn's smart like that, and Mr. Mulder wasn't too convinced by Ludmilla's psychic readings. Krazy Kenzi was mostly just surprised to see her there.

Meanwhile, Grover and Percy seem just as displeased about Kelli bein' around as Luke was, and Older Peter, who's Ender's Peter and not regular Peter, got to see Topher's tattoo. Now I kinda wanna see Topher's tattoo. I wonder what it's of. I wonder if it's a tiger.

Stephen: You won't be looking at any boys' tiger tattoos, Butters.

Butters:...yes, sir. Um, so, Ben asked Older Peter how that whole world take-over thing was going, and Krazy Kenzi tried to steal Older Peter's wallet, but Older Peter was all, 'um, no.' Alai and Ender were kind of huggy and decided to talk in private rather than the middle of a big ol' picnic, and Jorah hoped his visit to Dany would be uneventful, but was glad to hear about Dany's experience so far. Flemeth was intrigued about Dany's dragons, and Clayton kinda failed to hit on Kelli, and Quinn almost got into a really hot girlfight with her before realizing that she wasn't after Quinn's boyfriend after all. Awww. No chickfights after all.

But Luke let Kelli know that he could totally kill her right now. Miss Belle was all kissyface with her boyfriends, mwahmwahmwah, and Quinn and Alexander caught up about Student Council and her bein' co-president with Annie and everything. Bran was Mercy's big visitor, so they caught up on all sorts of stuff, but Mr. Luthor wasn't so sure it was a good idea to keep lettin' his son Lex continue going here. Angelica was excited to see Randall and tell him how she doesn't have to hide the fact that she's a ginger here, or something like that, but he wasn't so sure. But then Rinoa went back into the not-excited category about seein' her dad and they had an awkward talk about stuff. Quinn thanked Seifer for all the help with her campaign before commisserating over not having anyone visit and how crazy Mr. Madrox's class is.

Caroline was pleased to see Tyler visit and she introduced him to Jake. Seifer helped out Reggie, which worked out, on account of Reggie bein' his roommate's sister and all, and Alex's dad made sure Alex was goin' to all his classes, even the one taught by Mr. Deadpool. And Ceasare and Lucrezia were all full of hugs and happiness to see each other.

The Picnic in the Park continued on through the afternoon, and people who came in later could still register, like Mr. Marsh, who talked with my dad about his son and my good friend Stan!
Rhodey and Tony talked about a lack of lasers - pew pew! - on the car he's workin' on and Annie kept lookin' at Rhodey all longingly and stuff. Maybe Annie just really likes lasers on her car.

Stephen: Lasers have no business being on cars!

Linda: It's true; someone could get hurt!

Butters: Gee, whiz, Mom. Speakin' of which, Susan talked with Death about classes and grades and cameras and stuff like that, which is better than what you'd expect Death to talk about, which is, y'know, Death and stuff.

At the food table, Bruce explained to Alfred about what Miss Pie's real purpose is here in Fandom, and Tersa thinks Surreal looks smaller now than she did before. Maybe she's shrinking! Lucivar thinks Warren's girlfriend is too think, too, and Bobby met up with Hank, who is big and blue. And I even got to see the most beautiful woman in the world! I asked if I could poke her butt, but she said no because then her football husband would beat me up.

Stephen: Butters! What did we tell you about trying to poke celebrity body parts? You're lucky she said no, or else you'll have a lot more to worry about than being beaten up by football players! You'd be grounded, Mister.

Butters: I know....At least a lot of other people got some more mingling done, like Juliet, who told Whitney aaaaaallll about Tony's girlfriend, which seemed to prompt Tony to flail in Whitney's general direction. Miss Pie and Tiara became best friends, but it looks like my mom and dad weren't all that friendly to her.

Stephen: It was a pink pony, Butters. There's no telling where it's been.

Linda: Horrible! It was just horrible!

Stephen: There, there, Linda. It's okay; it's gone now.

Butters: ...But I like Miss Pie... *ahem* Well, maybe. Err, so, Raven and Jono talked about how long Jono would be at home and were probably all goth about it, and apparently, what I need to get the most beautiful woman in the world to let me poke her butt is to have wings like Warren, who also got to talk to Lucivar, who wants to know if he has anything to say. I wonder if he had anything to say about Karla's terrible cooking.




Butters: And there you have it, everybody! There's your news for Friday! Big Texas Butters--

Stephen: Who's Big Texas Butters?

Butters: That's my radio name. Big Texas Butters.

Stephen: Well, he's grounded, too.

Butters: Oh, hamburgers...

**CLICK!**



[[ that was a lot of links, you guys. Special thanks to all the awesome squirrels who did amazing to make my job easier. Love you guys! Have some booze! ]]