http://notyourpawn.livejournal.com/ (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
notyourpawn.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandom_radio2011-07-07 04:54 am
notyourpawn.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2011-07-07 04:54 am
Fandom Radio, Thursday, July 7th
No, I believe you're mistaken. I wasn't threatening you. I was simply indicating that I carry no less than two weapons on my person, in case you were leading me to this remote --
*insistent chittering*
Oh. The radio station?
*awkward silence*
So there's no chance that any of you were luring me here to fight to the death, then?
Very well. Good morning, Fandom. My name is Alice Liddell, which rhymes with fiddle. I'm here to read the news, and -- oh! May I say whatever I like?
*chittering*
I'm not in the habit of being vulgar. I was raised a proper young lady. But I've never had a captive audience before, either. So if I came up with something dreadful, just to be certain that everyone's paying proper attention, that is. Something like [[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]].
*chittering*
A censorship button? What a shame. It's probably for the best. There's no way my bump needs to hear that filthy language, you know.
STYLE, GRACE, AND CLASS
The first class to-day was The Magic of Having a Good Time, whose teacher was a pink-colored pony with a pet alligator biting her tail. One hopes that was, indeed, a pet, and not a slow-motion nature documentary played out in front of the horrified students. If there's less of the teacher next week, students, one suggests you might intervene. Pinkie Pie asked her students about their favorite kind of party -- birthday parties, costume parties, Tupperware parties, holiday parties. She didn't mention tea parties or un-birthday parties, both of which are favorites of mine. Nor did she mention the kind of party which is suitable when a pet alligator has devoured your teacher, though an un-birthday can be adapted to most settings. And students, as one might have expected, partied, leading Kenzi and Juliet to praise the virtues of this class over one such as maths.
Next was Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse -- is there one on? I received a hat from a voodoo zombie once. Very nice fellow. I was a zombie myself at the time, but I seem fully recovered. I don't believe the hat was responsible, however. The teacher, who was not a pony -- well, at least, none of the squirrels indicated that the teacher was a pony, and I will be very upset if they left that information out -- informed the students that cardio is the most important part of surviving a zombie apocalypse, followed thereafter by the ability to use the facilities quickly. Students limber up and navigate their way to the stalls, stall, then return, zombie apocalypse successfully survived.
And lastly was a class entitled Everything's a Weapon, which is a truism. Squirrels, do take note that earlier, when I counted two weapons on my person, I meant conventional ones, and was not counting this approach. This class is taught by Reno the Card-Guard and Cindy the teacher of tales, both of whom I would say hello to but I fear it would be a waste of valuable radio time. Today's class meets in a toy store, and students must introduce themselves before being set loose to find makeshift weapons amongst the toys. And then they fight a gigantic plush dragon.
Incidentally, it seems to me that today's classes were out of order. Students should have lured the zombies out of the bathroom stalls, into the toy store, sent them after the plush dragon, and then held a party to celebrate. That even creates a theme: a "congratulations on successfully evading the zombies and using them as weapons" party.
Elsewhere at the school, Gabrielle was shelving books in the library. Books also make for useful weapons, if used to strike someone upon the head. This, of course, does not work as well with paperbacks.
DORMITORIUMS
Miley was brooding on the beach while Seifer was swimming -- the alliteration would be nicer if Miley's name had started with a B. Say, Beatrice brooding on the beach while Seifer swam. I don't suppose any of you squirrels know if Miley's surname starts with a B?
*chittering*
I am not off-topic, squirrels. Miley and Seifer introduced themselves and their places of origin, which means that I imagine Seifer knows Miley's surname, and I would imagine that he would not be quite so rude if I were to ask him about it.
Ramona was watching Rescued by the Alarm reruns while reading Barry Plodder, which leads me to believe that one of the two wasn't very good, and she was neglecting one in favor of the other, but I haven't a clue which. Perhaps both. Miley of the unknown quantum surname was a fan of the Plodder, so I imagine she'd vote the latter, and she and Ramona discussed silly nicknames as well as ridiculous things boys have done to get one's attention. A boy once bought me flamingos so we could play croquet.
*chittering*
I was having a moment, squirrels. You have my apologies. Bruce mocked Ramona for multi-tasking, while she mocks him for never having heard of the show in question. I don't understand how that is mock-worthy, but perhaps I am biased in that I find myself in the same situation. One would think it would be more mock-worthy to be a fan of something ridiculous than to have been so preoccupied one has never heard of it, but perhaps the show is actually groundbreaking and clever and Bruce is therefore somehow pathetic for not having witnessed its greatness. Which suggests it is far the victor in the great struggle of Rescued vs. Plodder. Caroline is very upset that Bruce has not brought food for all. Bruce, sharing is only polite, and if you brought food for yourself, then you should have brought enough to share. Perhaps if you had watched more television, you would have learned important lessons such as this. Butters told Ramona that he was happy that he had arrived successfully at the second floor. Does Butters often travel to unexpected locations? Do they involve rabbit-holes and looking-glasses? I feel this Butters and I ought to talk.
Freddie was in quite the cheery mood after his class with Pinkie Pie, and feels this school is delightful. Ramona counters that this school is like a bad acid trip. Acid scars and disfigures; this school, however, seems to run on nonsense, if a somewhat orderly variety of nonsense. It remains more chaotic than most places one can live, which is why I approve. Miley and Freddie don't like the show, and Freddie talks about his own webshow while they discuss his hatred for the Dingo channel. I will presume that webshows aren't about spiders and the Dingo channel isn't about Australian canids, which means we'll move along.
Toby wants to know why they are watching something old, and Ramona preaches to him the virtues of nostalgia. Toby explains instead that this program was only a few months old, which makes it too new for nostalgia. This leads to them somehow discussing how he can gain employment in town. Groovy Tunes has a few shifts open, if the squirrels do not mind my own gratuitous self-promotion. And lastly, Caroline and Ramona are civil, at the start. They discuss matching one's hair to one's outfits, girliness, and then who slept with whom's boyfriend, so it would seem the civility part didn't last. It never bothered Kate and I, when both of us were involved with Leto, but I suppose that was an unusual situation. Might I take a moment to say hello to Kate?
*chittering*
I still have all those weapons, squirrels. I should like you to remember that.
TOWN AND COUNTRY. KING AND COUNTRY. GOLF AND COUNTRY CLUB.
At the Arms Hotel, Quinn argues with a chambermaid, though I've no idea over what. I'll invent a reason: the chambermaid was caught having an affair with a guest. What scandal! Kate-whom-I-once-shared-a-semi-boyfriend-with is working at Mystery Sign Theatre, and asks Mitchell, who is in the back office, if he'll be staying this time. He says he has nothing towards which to go back. I fear I understand that particular situation better than I would like, Mitchell. At Fixer-Uppers, William is enduring an indoors rain of raspberries, which causes him to place his hat back on. And Lion-O discovers that the walk-in fridge at Cafe Luke's takes over an hour to travel through, and he still didn't get all the way to the back. One wonders if that isn't causing distortions on the maps of town.
Lindsay is listening to Journey at Groovy Tunes, and my diligent employee goes on the list of people I would say hello to if not for these meddlesome squirrels. Also, I should like to note that my complete lack of popular culture knowledge does not extend to music. At Things Reborn, Alexander finds a number of what one squirrel declares to be, and I quote, "weird-ass cat things." Does this mean they are cats with odd posteriors, or is this slang intended to indicate exactly how strange the cats in question are? Martha Jones hugged Chloe Sullivan and gave her the keys to the Clinic; Chloe then endured the glares of several nurses. No notes on why, so again, I'll making something up: Chloe was having an affair with the chambermaid and the guest. What scandal!
At the Community Center, Alex Cabot taught a class about amendments that never happened, which means she taught a class about changes that never came to be, which means, essentially, a class about nothing. Dani and Alex discussed whether or not to let citizens accept foreign titles. I'm still Queen of Wonderland, but then, I'm not really a United States citizen, so I suppose that's moot. Jessica is staring at the DJ's neck at the Devil's Nest. I'm fairly certain that's the vampire bar, which explains the staring. Otherwise, I would suggest he, Chloe, and the chambermaid were cheating on the hotel guest. More scandal!
Finally, Nathan is feeling creative and making up drinks at Caritas. Alistair orders a pint, and Guy a beer, which means neither of them felt bold enough to try any of Nathan's concoctions. Guy asked Alistair if he was dressed up for a re-enactment or a fashion statement, thus confusing Alistair, who also seemed confused by mention of such things as electricity and tasers, although Guy for his part was lost on the topic of Blight. Ah, how Fandom loves to scramble minds.
Not that I can say much. Mine was scrambled to start.
Well, that's enough of my morning. I'm out of notes, the bump is restless, and I've squirrels to hunt. I'll even give them a headstart. 3 ... 2 ......
*insistent chittering*
Oh. The radio station?
*awkward silence*
So there's no chance that any of you were luring me here to fight to the death, then?
Very well. Good morning, Fandom. My name is Alice Liddell, which rhymes with fiddle. I'm here to read the news, and -- oh! May I say whatever I like?
*chittering*
I'm not in the habit of being vulgar. I was raised a proper young lady. But I've never had a captive audience before, either. So if I came up with something dreadful, just to be certain that everyone's paying proper attention, that is. Something like [[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]].
*chittering*
A censorship button? What a shame. It's probably for the best. There's no way my bump needs to hear that filthy language, you know.
STYLE, GRACE, AND CLASS
The first class to-day was The Magic of Having a Good Time, whose teacher was a pink-colored pony with a pet alligator biting her tail. One hopes that was, indeed, a pet, and not a slow-motion nature documentary played out in front of the horrified students. If there's less of the teacher next week, students, one suggests you might intervene. Pinkie Pie asked her students about their favorite kind of party -- birthday parties, costume parties, Tupperware parties, holiday parties. She didn't mention tea parties or un-birthday parties, both of which are favorites of mine. Nor did she mention the kind of party which is suitable when a pet alligator has devoured your teacher, though an un-birthday can be adapted to most settings. And students, as one might have expected, partied, leading Kenzi and Juliet to praise the virtues of this class over one such as maths.
Next was Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse -- is there one on? I received a hat from a voodoo zombie once. Very nice fellow. I was a zombie myself at the time, but I seem fully recovered. I don't believe the hat was responsible, however. The teacher, who was not a pony -- well, at least, none of the squirrels indicated that the teacher was a pony, and I will be very upset if they left that information out -- informed the students that cardio is the most important part of surviving a zombie apocalypse, followed thereafter by the ability to use the facilities quickly. Students limber up and navigate their way to the stalls, stall, then return, zombie apocalypse successfully survived.
And lastly was a class entitled Everything's a Weapon, which is a truism. Squirrels, do take note that earlier, when I counted two weapons on my person, I meant conventional ones, and was not counting this approach. This class is taught by Reno the Card-Guard and Cindy the teacher of tales, both of whom I would say hello to but I fear it would be a waste of valuable radio time. Today's class meets in a toy store, and students must introduce themselves before being set loose to find makeshift weapons amongst the toys. And then they fight a gigantic plush dragon.
Incidentally, it seems to me that today's classes were out of order. Students should have lured the zombies out of the bathroom stalls, into the toy store, sent them after the plush dragon, and then held a party to celebrate. That even creates a theme: a "congratulations on successfully evading the zombies and using them as weapons" party.
Elsewhere at the school, Gabrielle was shelving books in the library. Books also make for useful weapons, if used to strike someone upon the head. This, of course, does not work as well with paperbacks.
DORMITORIUMS
Miley was brooding on the beach while Seifer was swimming -- the alliteration would be nicer if Miley's name had started with a B. Say, Beatrice brooding on the beach while Seifer swam. I don't suppose any of you squirrels know if Miley's surname starts with a B?
*chittering*
I am not off-topic, squirrels. Miley and Seifer introduced themselves and their places of origin, which means that I imagine Seifer knows Miley's surname, and I would imagine that he would not be quite so rude if I were to ask him about it.
Ramona was watching Rescued by the Alarm reruns while reading Barry Plodder, which leads me to believe that one of the two wasn't very good, and she was neglecting one in favor of the other, but I haven't a clue which. Perhaps both. Miley of the unknown quantum surname was a fan of the Plodder, so I imagine she'd vote the latter, and she and Ramona discussed silly nicknames as well as ridiculous things boys have done to get one's attention. A boy once bought me flamingos so we could play croquet.
*chittering*
I was having a moment, squirrels. You have my apologies. Bruce mocked Ramona for multi-tasking, while she mocks him for never having heard of the show in question. I don't understand how that is mock-worthy, but perhaps I am biased in that I find myself in the same situation. One would think it would be more mock-worthy to be a fan of something ridiculous than to have been so preoccupied one has never heard of it, but perhaps the show is actually groundbreaking and clever and Bruce is therefore somehow pathetic for not having witnessed its greatness. Which suggests it is far the victor in the great struggle of Rescued vs. Plodder. Caroline is very upset that Bruce has not brought food for all. Bruce, sharing is only polite, and if you brought food for yourself, then you should have brought enough to share. Perhaps if you had watched more television, you would have learned important lessons such as this. Butters told Ramona that he was happy that he had arrived successfully at the second floor. Does Butters often travel to unexpected locations? Do they involve rabbit-holes and looking-glasses? I feel this Butters and I ought to talk.
Freddie was in quite the cheery mood after his class with Pinkie Pie, and feels this school is delightful. Ramona counters that this school is like a bad acid trip. Acid scars and disfigures; this school, however, seems to run on nonsense, if a somewhat orderly variety of nonsense. It remains more chaotic than most places one can live, which is why I approve. Miley and Freddie don't like the show, and Freddie talks about his own webshow while they discuss his hatred for the Dingo channel. I will presume that webshows aren't about spiders and the Dingo channel isn't about Australian canids, which means we'll move along.
Toby wants to know why they are watching something old, and Ramona preaches to him the virtues of nostalgia. Toby explains instead that this program was only a few months old, which makes it too new for nostalgia. This leads to them somehow discussing how he can gain employment in town. Groovy Tunes has a few shifts open, if the squirrels do not mind my own gratuitous self-promotion. And lastly, Caroline and Ramona are civil, at the start. They discuss matching one's hair to one's outfits, girliness, and then who slept with whom's boyfriend, so it would seem the civility part didn't last. It never bothered Kate and I, when both of us were involved with Leto, but I suppose that was an unusual situation. Might I take a moment to say hello to Kate?
*chittering*
I still have all those weapons, squirrels. I should like you to remember that.
TOWN AND COUNTRY. KING AND COUNTRY. GOLF AND COUNTRY CLUB.
At the Arms Hotel, Quinn argues with a chambermaid, though I've no idea over what. I'll invent a reason: the chambermaid was caught having an affair with a guest. What scandal! Kate-whom-I-once-shared-a-semi-boyfriend-with is working at Mystery Sign Theatre, and asks Mitchell, who is in the back office, if he'll be staying this time. He says he has nothing towards which to go back. I fear I understand that particular situation better than I would like, Mitchell. At Fixer-Uppers, William is enduring an indoors rain of raspberries, which causes him to place his hat back on. And Lion-O discovers that the walk-in fridge at Cafe Luke's takes over an hour to travel through, and he still didn't get all the way to the back. One wonders if that isn't causing distortions on the maps of town.
Lindsay is listening to Journey at Groovy Tunes, and my diligent employee goes on the list of people I would say hello to if not for these meddlesome squirrels. Also, I should like to note that my complete lack of popular culture knowledge does not extend to music. At Things Reborn, Alexander finds a number of what one squirrel declares to be, and I quote, "weird-ass cat things." Does this mean they are cats with odd posteriors, or is this slang intended to indicate exactly how strange the cats in question are? Martha Jones hugged Chloe Sullivan and gave her the keys to the Clinic; Chloe then endured the glares of several nurses. No notes on why, so again, I'll making something up: Chloe was having an affair with the chambermaid and the guest. What scandal!
At the Community Center, Alex Cabot taught a class about amendments that never happened, which means she taught a class about changes that never came to be, which means, essentially, a class about nothing. Dani and Alex discussed whether or not to let citizens accept foreign titles. I'm still Queen of Wonderland, but then, I'm not really a United States citizen, so I suppose that's moot. Jessica is staring at the DJ's neck at the Devil's Nest. I'm fairly certain that's the vampire bar, which explains the staring. Otherwise, I would suggest he, Chloe, and the chambermaid were cheating on the hotel guest. More scandal!
Finally, Nathan is feeling creative and making up drinks at Caritas. Alistair orders a pint, and Guy a beer, which means neither of them felt bold enough to try any of Nathan's concoctions. Guy asked Alistair if he was dressed up for a re-enactment or a fashion statement, thus confusing Alistair, who also seemed confused by mention of such things as electricity and tasers, although Guy for his part was lost on the topic of Blight. Ah, how Fandom loves to scramble minds.
Not that I can say much. Mine was scrambled to start.
Well, that's enough of my morning. I'm out of notes, the bump is restless, and I've squirrels to hunt. I'll even give them a headstart. 3 ... 2 ......
no subject
no subject