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fandom_radio2011-05-11 12:35 pm
lockestheway) wrote in fandom_radio2011-05-11 12:35 pm
Fandom Radio, Wednesday May 11th
Ow! Hey! What's going on here?! What are you--
*low chittering*
...Squirrels?!
*angry cheeeeet*
Look, I'm sorry if I've done anything to offend y-- OUCH. Can we please stop the violence and talk about this like civilised-- creatures? Am I reasoning with a squirrel? Did Valentine put them up to thi-- what am I talking about.
What have you got there--? Bandaids? I knew there was one reasonable creature between you. You're not all hard-nosed biters and OW. STOP. Clearly you're not sent--
SQUEAK.
A full minute of MICROPHONE FEEDBACK and audio static.
Okay. All right. Sorry, folks back home, there seems to be a snag in your usual broadcasting schedule. I'm sure these squirrels didn't mean any harm by it-- the little bastards probably ate the last broadcaster-- but that means that, unfortunately, you're stuck with me for the day.
For a radio broadcast that... *shuffles notes* ...seems to document everything that you guys do every day.Useful Creepy. Don't worry. I won't tell anyone anything sensitive that's in here except when it works out for me.
SCHOOL
The first thing most of us had to deal with yesterday was school. There were a couple of workshops this time around - I'm sure most of you attended one or two. The first was... Cupcake War Crimes, no doubt a haunting coverage of all the ways why we shouldn't go all Lucrezia Borgia on people. The students identified all the ingredients that shouldn't go in a cupcake, which I'm sure is an excellent way to discourage them from putting them there, and the professors oversee everything professionally.
Professor Reno spent his first Attitude class educating us all about insulting phrases, because they're harmful to the human spirit. We wouldn't want to go putting any ideas into anyone's heads. We introduced ourselves and shared our heartwrenching tales of trauma. Remember, kids: words can hurt. The teaching assistants were there to assist anyone who might have collapsed under the force of their own trauma, and I'm sure Professor Reno would do the same in a pinch.
Continuing yesterday's theme of discouraging students to do anything harmful was Professor... Anakin? ... in Try Not To Die class. Just think about all those poor kids who thought that hurtling themselves off cliffs like lemmings was a good idea prior to getting here. The students have to choose between Weaving and Waving, where the former involves weaving bracelets for the Vikings, and the Waving involves crafting something seaworthy. I'm not a nautical man, so I'm afraid I can't tell any of you what it is. Everyone gets back to the Fandom docks where they row boats to the Island of IKEA, because one just can't survive without Swedish furniture. Professor Anakin ranks them according to performance; he sounds like a stern but fair educator. He's certainly there, not just to help the students, but also his own TA, who's suffering from some romantic woes.
Another class which I assume is all about why we shouldn't hurl ourselves at deadly animals is Your African Expedition Adventure. Really, the lions won't bite. It's the lionesses you have to be careful with. Professor Jane -- doesn't anyone here have a last name? No offense. -- lectures the class, makes everyone introduce themselves, and gets them hiking. Remember to hydrate! I do. Heh.
And as for creepy stalking stuff no one really needs to know about, the squirrels tell me Rinoa was doing busywork at the library, when Belle the new librarian comes in to introduce herself, and presumably lays down the law about the way our fine library should be operated from now on. I tip my hat to you, librarian without a last name.
DORMS
I'd like to apologise up front to anyone whose private details I might accidentally share. I'm going to try to keep this as neat as I possibly can, guys, but I have to make it to the end of this pile of notes. I hope you'll understand.
Percy was in the salle going through his exercise routine when his boyfriend shows up to call him fat. Charming. They talk for a little while, but I'm certainly not going to broadcast the details. It sounds personal. Kate Daniels comes by and questions the... vehemence of Percy's technique, which leads to a fight. Please, not on school property. Alex also tries to question it, but he gets derailed into a conversation about how he tends to practice with bamboo, rather than a sharp and shiny object. I'd say that's more than normal, unless you're looking to lose an appendage. Reality doesn't come with a discrete camera cutaway.
Sam LaCroix was in his room talking to himself. Ha. I think someone's been hitting the water too hard. His roommate tried to sneak in, but no dice. And talking about someone hitting the water too hard, one of these squirrels claims there was a sighting of someone flying around in a yellow and red costume last night. Could someone please lay him down so he can sleep it off? Thank you-- OW.
Ramona is in a perfectly ameable mood as she dyed her hair green yesterday. Topher makes the regrettable faux-pas of asking if it's because she was dumped. Poor kid. Simon has it worked out better, and compliments her instead. In other romantic news that's sure to make you all go 'awwww', Squall left roses outside Rinoa's room. Say it all with me: Awwwwwwww. Do we have any violins? Let's get some violins.
Sookie is shopping for cars in her room. Over the nets, I presume. Toby stops by to talk to her about it, and about why she might be getting one when she's living on an island. Mobility is very important if you want to make something of yourself, you know.
Do we have those violins yet? Because Rinoa showed up to Squall's room to talk to him about their fight. Awwww. I won't brief you all on what happened after, folks, I'll let the violins do the talking.
TOWN
And-- ah, that brings us to the last notes. We're in the home stretch now, everyone. Ariel has some glittery signs up outside Pixie Dust, which seems to be going with a theme. Mister Shunsui opens up his store, and his theme seems to be 'alcoholic drinks for pretty women'. I... well, that's one marketing strategy. It certainly seems to draw in Isabela. Sorry, sir, I mean no disrespect.
At the Devil's Nest, Emma is teaching the Vikings how to play cards. That solves one cultural-historical mystery. Kate Gregson of the Third Floor stops by to talk to her about her methods. Other people coping with Vikings in their own way are Miss Mary, Alice and Sookie at their jobs. I'm sorry, girls. We might have to invest in some deodorant. At the other drinking hole, Miss Robin seems to have less trouble working, and does her bartender thing for Mister Dick and Vice Principal Deadpool, dispensing folksy wisdom about theme bars and Canadians forming hockey teams. Maybe you could get a league started. Exercise is important, I know that, and healthy competition might bind this adorable little town together. Vice Principal Deadpool and Mister Dick are a little less charmed by each other's company, but I don't think we should gossip.
*chittering*
Whatever that means. Scully lit a candle at the church, and to finish this up: no need to worry yesterday, because the clinic was up and functioning, with Millie at the wheel.
I think that's everything. *shuffling notes* Again, I'm terribly sorry if I shared anything personal you didn't want getting out. If so, you can come seek me out in room 318, and we'll write to the station and ask them politely not to do it again, okay?
*cheet!*
If you're sentient, you're doing a poor job of communicating. *sigh* I hope I've informed everyone enough right now, and that future broadcasters will try and be considerate about everyone's feelings.
Have a nice day at camp, Fandom.
*click*
*low chittering*
...Squirrels?!
*angry cheeeeet*
Look, I'm sorry if I've done anything to offend y-- OUCH. Can we please stop the violence and talk about this like civilised-- creatures? Am I reasoning with a squirrel? Did Valentine put them up to thi-- what am I talking about.
What have you got there--? Bandaids? I knew there was one reasonable creature between you. You're not all hard-nosed biters and OW. STOP. Clearly you're not sent--
SQUEAK.
A full minute of MICROPHONE FEEDBACK and audio static.
Okay. All right. Sorry, folks back home, there seems to be a snag in your usual broadcasting schedule. I'm sure these squirrels didn't mean any harm by it-- the little bastards probably ate the last broadcaster-- but that means that, unfortunately, you're stuck with me for the day.
For a radio broadcast that... *shuffles notes* ...seems to document everything that you guys do every day.
SCHOOL
The first thing most of us had to deal with yesterday was school. There were a couple of workshops this time around - I'm sure most of you attended one or two. The first was... Cupcake War Crimes, no doubt a haunting coverage of all the ways why we shouldn't go all Lucrezia Borgia on people. The students identified all the ingredients that shouldn't go in a cupcake, which I'm sure is an excellent way to discourage them from putting them there, and the professors oversee everything professionally.
Professor Reno spent his first Attitude class educating us all about insulting phrases, because they're harmful to the human spirit. We wouldn't want to go putting any ideas into anyone's heads. We introduced ourselves and shared our heartwrenching tales of trauma. Remember, kids: words can hurt. The teaching assistants were there to assist anyone who might have collapsed under the force of their own trauma, and I'm sure Professor Reno would do the same in a pinch.
Continuing yesterday's theme of discouraging students to do anything harmful was Professor... Anakin? ... in Try Not To Die class. Just think about all those poor kids who thought that hurtling themselves off cliffs like lemmings was a good idea prior to getting here. The students have to choose between Weaving and Waving, where the former involves weaving bracelets for the Vikings, and the Waving involves crafting something seaworthy. I'm not a nautical man, so I'm afraid I can't tell any of you what it is. Everyone gets back to the Fandom docks where they row boats to the Island of IKEA, because one just can't survive without Swedish furniture. Professor Anakin ranks them according to performance; he sounds like a stern but fair educator. He's certainly there, not just to help the students, but also his own TA, who's suffering from some romantic woes.
Another class which I assume is all about why we shouldn't hurl ourselves at deadly animals is Your African Expedition Adventure. Really, the lions won't bite. It's the lionesses you have to be careful with. Professor Jane -- doesn't anyone here have a last name? No offense. -- lectures the class, makes everyone introduce themselves, and gets them hiking. Remember to hydrate! I do. Heh.
And as for creepy stalking stuff no one really needs to know about, the squirrels tell me Rinoa was doing busywork at the library, when Belle the new librarian comes in to introduce herself, and presumably lays down the law about the way our fine library should be operated from now on. I tip my hat to you, librarian without a last name.
DORMS
I'd like to apologise up front to anyone whose private details I might accidentally share. I'm going to try to keep this as neat as I possibly can, guys, but I have to make it to the end of this pile of notes. I hope you'll understand.
Percy was in the salle going through his exercise routine when his boyfriend shows up to call him fat. Charming. They talk for a little while, but I'm certainly not going to broadcast the details. It sounds personal. Kate Daniels comes by and questions the... vehemence of Percy's technique, which leads to a fight. Please, not on school property. Alex also tries to question it, but he gets derailed into a conversation about how he tends to practice with bamboo, rather than a sharp and shiny object. I'd say that's more than normal, unless you're looking to lose an appendage. Reality doesn't come with a discrete camera cutaway.
Sam LaCroix was in his room talking to himself. Ha. I think someone's been hitting the water too hard. His roommate tried to sneak in, but no dice. And talking about someone hitting the water too hard, one of these squirrels claims there was a sighting of someone flying around in a yellow and red costume last night. Could someone please lay him down so he can sleep it off? Thank you-- OW.
Ramona is in a perfectly ameable mood as she dyed her hair green yesterday. Topher makes the regrettable faux-pas of asking if it's because she was dumped. Poor kid. Simon has it worked out better, and compliments her instead. In other romantic news that's sure to make you all go 'awwww', Squall left roses outside Rinoa's room. Say it all with me: Awwwwwwww. Do we have any violins? Let's get some violins.
Sookie is shopping for cars in her room. Over the nets, I presume. Toby stops by to talk to her about it, and about why she might be getting one when she's living on an island. Mobility is very important if you want to make something of yourself, you know.
Do we have those violins yet? Because Rinoa showed up to Squall's room to talk to him about their fight. Awwww. I won't brief you all on what happened after, folks, I'll let the violins do the talking.
TOWN
And-- ah, that brings us to the last notes. We're in the home stretch now, everyone. Ariel has some glittery signs up outside Pixie Dust, which seems to be going with a theme. Mister Shunsui opens up his store, and his theme seems to be 'alcoholic drinks for pretty women'. I... well, that's one marketing strategy. It certainly seems to draw in Isabela. Sorry, sir, I mean no disrespect.
At the Devil's Nest, Emma is teaching the Vikings how to play cards. That solves one cultural-historical mystery. Kate Gregson of the Third Floor stops by to talk to her about her methods. Other people coping with Vikings in their own way are Miss Mary, Alice and Sookie at their jobs. I'm sorry, girls. We might have to invest in some deodorant. At the other drinking hole, Miss Robin seems to have less trouble working, and does her bartender thing for Mister Dick and Vice Principal Deadpool, dispensing folksy wisdom about theme bars and Canadians forming hockey teams. Maybe you could get a league started. Exercise is important, I know that, and healthy competition might bind this adorable little town together. Vice Principal Deadpool and Mister Dick are a little less charmed by each other's company, but I don't think we should gossip.
*chittering*
Whatever that means. Scully lit a candle at the church, and to finish this up: no need to worry yesterday, because the clinic was up and functioning, with Millie at the wheel.
I think that's everything. *shuffling notes* Again, I'm terribly sorry if I shared anything personal you didn't want getting out. If so, you can come seek me out in room 318, and we'll write to the station and ask them politely not to do it again, okay?
*cheet!*
If you're sentient, you're doing a poor job of communicating. *sigh* I hope I've informed everyone enough right now, and that future broadcasters will try and be considerate about everyone's feelings.
Have a nice day at camp, Fandom.
*click*