Entries tagged with turtle wexler

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turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: Friday, September 18, 2009.

Valentine: Hey, there, Madame President.

Turtle: ......heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Valentine: So, while Turtle beams with euphoria, I might as well start. I'm Valentine, this is Turtle, and you're listening to WTF--

Turtle: You like me! You really like me!

Valentine: ...us.

Turtle: Yeah, Valentine too. But thank you so much everyone for voting Wexler and Wiggin and we hope to bring you another semester of all the news that's fit to be scribbled down by wee drunked squirrels. Or else my name isn't--

Valentine: Madame President?

Turtle: .....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

( Radio, with a Faint Consistent 'eeee' Buzzing. )

Turtle: Oh! Wait! We forgot to get our shot of my teddy bear!

Valentine: Well, let's sign off and get it and then head back home.

Turtle: That works! Oh, and thank you everyone again for voting for us! It's very good to know that you still like hearing my voice after all these years.

Valentine: Aw, and here I thought it was me. Good night, everyone...

Turtle: ...and have a prosperous tomorrow!

[[ sorry for the late. There was a great evil darkness at work that kept me late for like ever, omg ]]

Entry tags:

turtle wexler

(no subject)

Turtle: Gooooood evening, Fellow Fandomites! If you're listening to this WTFH broadcast in real time right now, allow me a second to ask you why. Do you know what tomorrow is?

Valentine: August Twenty-Nineth?

Turtle: Yes. But what else?

Valentine: Saturday?

Turtle: Newbie Saturday, to be precise! So you should all be in bed, getting lots of rest, because it's a big day tomorrow. People to meet...

Valentine: ...brains to break...

Turtle: And a light news load beforehand! Doing the radio on the lull before the Newbie Storm makes up for doing radios from busy days with dances and fairs and when things attack. And don't even talk to me about the last homecoming, Oh-Em-Gee.

Valentine: However, this broadcast might end up being that long if Turtle wants to keep babbling and forget about getting to the notes.

Turtle:...oh, quiet, you. Here we go, then, Friday's Pre-Newbie Picnic Notes!

( Cut Because No Ones about Friday when there's NEWBIE SATURDAY FOLLOWING IT! )

Valentine: And there you have it, all the news of the day. Good night...

Turtle: And don't break the newbies!

Valentine: Too quickly, anyway.

*click!*

[[ yes it's done and it's up early, because, um...newbies omfg =D ]]

Entry tags:

turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: Friday, August 21st, 2009.

Turtle: Gooooood evening, fellow Fandomites! You're listening to Turtle Wexler, who can actually enunciate this week...

Valentine:...and Valentine Wiggin, who never really has a problem enunciating.

Turtle: La-de-dah. At least I still stuck to my duty to radio. I'm very dedicated like that, in every different aspect of my life, really.

Valentine: You know, that's actually a really great attribute for a person in, say, politics to have.

Turtle: You think so, Valentine?

Valentine: Yeah, sure!

Turtle: Huh. Imagine that. A really good candidate, dependable like me. Common sense, really.

Valentine: It really is. Ready for the notes?

Turtle: Like a good candidate, Val, I was born ready!

( ...thank you, Turtle. )

Valentine: Are there any more notes?

Turtle: Nope! That's it. Quiet day!

Valentine: Kind of nice after a day like last week. Well, then, I guess that's good night, everyone.

Turtle: And have a prosperous tomorrow!

Entry tags:

turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: Friday, August 14th, 2009.

Turtle: Good evething, fellow Fandomithes. You're lithening to WTHF radi--

Valentine: Are you...lisping, Turtle?

Turtle: Ohmygoth, Valenthine. I hath the worth toothache ether right now, and tho my thaw is numb from methicathan. I need it bether before tomorrow.

Valentine: I told you, Turtle, if you've got a toothache, you can go and rest and I'll just do radio by myself. I'm a big girl. I can handle it.

Turtle: I know! But we're a team! And ith noth that bad.

Valentine: I'm taking the bigger stack of notes, though, okay?

Turtle: Othay!

Valentine: Right. Welcome to the radio. Valentine and Turtle here, we're normally girls, and we shall mock those of you who aren't. Because that's just what we do here on WTFH radio. Let's begin.

( DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY )

Valentine: So I think that finishes up, and Turtle, don't even try to say the closing, you shouldn't have probably talked all through tha--

Turtle: --HATHAPROTHPEROTHTOMORROW! Ha! Goth it in!

*click*

Entry tags:

turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: Friday, August 7th, 2009.

Turtle: Good evening, fellow Fandomites! Thankfully, neither me or my cohost in bringing you the news are small and furry, so we're here to faithfully return to dictating all the gossip that you want to hear...

Valentine: And a lot of the gossip you don't want to hear, as well. Valentine Wiggin here, and, of course, Turtle Wexler, and we're just going to get right to business and right to the note tonight.

( The following includes chess, banana hammocks, Nutella, great sales, and you know who's breasts. Oh. And I forgot pie. )

Valentine: And there you have it. The news. Hope you all enjoyed this little peek into everyone else's personal lives. Good night...

Turtle: And have a prosperous tomorrow!

Entry tags:

turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: Friday, July 24th.

Turtle: Good evening, fellow Fandomites! You're listening to WTFH radio this Friday night or Saturday morning if you're a pod-cast person...

Valentine: ...or Saturday afternoon if you're a late riser...

Turtle: That too! And we'll be late risers, ourselves, thanks to the awesome slumber party that we should get back to, so let's read the notes and get on our merry little way.

Valentine: Sounds like a plan. ...wha...what are you doing, Turtle?

Turtle: Braiding your hair.

Valentine: Uh, why?

Turtle: Because if we can't be at the slumber party thanks to radio, we can bring the slumber party to radio. Besides, your hair is just really long and pretty and soft. Maybe I'm just nostalgic for my own hair, too.

Valentine: Alright, then, here's your news, while Turtle Wexler pets me like I'm a cat, then.

( Unfortunately, there is no Valentine Wiggin Purring in this Broadcast. )

Turtle: Gee, I wonder.

Valentine: I find him very personable.

Turtle: Yeah, you would.

Valentine: Anyway, the notes are done. Shouldn't we be heading back to your cabin and talking about this over you doing my nails?

Turtle: Ooooh, we should! Good night, Fandom, and have a prosperous tomorrow!

*click!*

[[ and our dutiful radio hosts have faithfully kept the boxer raid off the air for solidarity and secrecy, but here's the link all the same, and the party link, too! ]]

[[ AND NOW WITH 75% MORE DORMS BECAUSE I'M AN IDIOT.

bitch_prince gets cookies for making me aware of my idiocy. Maybe a pony, too. ]]

Entry tags:

turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: Friday, July 17th.

Turtle: Good evening, fellow Fandomites! Welcome back to WTFH Radio, the source for all the news the squirrels feel fit to share and that hasn't had coffee spilled on it. They'll do that on occasion, spill coffee on the notes so you can't read part of them.

Valentine: Which gives us the pleasure of making things up for those coffee stains. 'Evening, everyone. Happy Friday. You've got Turtle Wexler and Valentine Wiggin, here, and I'm being nice and not bringing in anything from work to make Turtle squirm.

Turtle: And Turtle is very grateful for that.

Valentine: Even if it would be cute to see her squirm with that new haircut.

Turtle: Valentine!

Valentine: See? I don't even have to bring in anything to make her squirm, anyway.

Turtle: You are such a pain in the butt! Can we get started now?

Valentine: Nothing's stopping you.

( So Let's Go. )

Valentine: And there you have it, the last of the notes. Good night, everyone...

Turtle: ...and have a prosperous tomorrow!

Entry tags:

turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: Friday, July 10th.

*click*

Valentine: --y, I almost forgot; I got something for you, Turtle.

Turtle: Oh, yeah? What is--

*thunk*

...

...

Turtle: Val!

Valentine: What? I found it at work today, and I thought you could use one.

Turtle: Val! That's gross! You don't just get people those things!

Valentine: You don't? Oh, okay, I'll just take it back the--

Turtle: --BUT. It's rude to turn down gifts, so thank you, Val, even if it's totally weird and inappropriate. At least you did it before we went on ai--

Hey, the light's already on! How long has...

...

Good evening, Fandom! Welcome to WTFH Radio, where you did not hear any of that conversation that just happened. In fact, you're just tuning in now and we're just going to get right to the notes. All the news that's fit to broadcast for today, Friday the Tenth of July, Two-Thousand and Nine.

Put that away, Valentine.

Valentine: We're on radio, Turtle. It's not like they can see that it's contoured and pink with five speed se--

Turtle: SHHHHH.

( Because sometimes you just can't refuse structuring a broadcast around a....personal massager. )

Turtle: Why do you even think stuff like that?

Valentine: Maybe one of your employees is thinking that about their bosses, Turtle.

Turtle: ...You are not allowed to talk anymore. Which is good. Notes are done. There's all the news for today.

Valentine: Now Turtle can go and try out her present.

Turtle: NO MORE TALKING, VALENTINE WIGGIN. We're in the cabins, anyway, there's about a gazillion people around.

Valentine: But if there weren't, you would?

Turtle: I didn't say that! Shut up. Stop grossing people out more with your sick mind, Val, goodnight, and have a prosperous tomorrow.

*click*

Entry tags:

turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: June 26th.

Turtle: Good evening, fellow Fandomites, and some previous Fandomites, too, as some people are arriving in town for the dance tomorrow! That's right! Turtle Wexler's still on your radio, reporting the news! And this is Valentine; she's new.

Valentine: Hi.

Turtle: Soooo, Valentine, did you get a date for the dance?

Valentine: No, did you?

Turtle: ...OH, like anyone wants to just hear about us, anyway, Val. Let's get onto the radio.

( Final Day of Workshops, Ha-cha-cha! )

Valentine: I'd suggest you say hi, then, but we're at the end of the notes, and good-byes are more appropriate then. Good night, everyone...

Turtle: ...and have a prosperous tomorrow!

Entry tags:

turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: June 19th.

Turtle: Good evening, Fellow Fandomites, and you're listening to WTFH radio on this Friday, June 19t, with Turtle Wexler and Valentine Wiggin here to bring you all the news of the day!

Valentine: You seem to be in a good mood tonight.

Turtle: It's Friday and nothing really big or weird happened again!

Valentine: You're very easy to please, aren't you, Turtle?

Turtle: Sometimes! I mean, it's the first day of RockCon!, but that just means we can extend a warm welcome out to our guests! Welcome, RockCon guests! Remember, if you find yourself needing anything, the best place on the island to get it is Turtle & Canary!

Valentine: What about drugs and whores?

Turtle: Val!

Valentine: I'm just saying. It's a convention for rock stars and musicians. They like drugs and whores, I hear.

Turtle: Well, they'll have to get those somewhere else. Let's get to the news. No one wants to hear about drugs and whores...

...don't look at me like that, Val. They don't. I hope.

( Talking about Drugs and Whores. )

Valentine: And there you have it. Here's to hoping that everyone discussed in this broadcast is pleased with how they were represented and, if not, then take it out on Turtle.

Turtle: Hey! No! Take it out on the squirrels! Or at least bribe them for next time with better rum.

Valentine: Or drugs and whores. Good night...

Turtle: ...and have a prosperous tomorrow! No drugs and whores!

Entry tags:

turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: May 29th, Friday.

Turtle: Good evening, fellow Fandomites, and let me just say this: holy crap, alligators.

Valentine: Well said, Turtle.

Turtle: Thanks! Anyway, you're listening to WTFH on this very reptile-infested Friday, and this is the Turtle & Valentine show! Because I convinced my last cohost to stay on and help me bring you all the news of the day. And she let me put my name first.

Valentine: Well, you have been doing it longer.

Turtle: That's right! So, remember, voting for Turtle & Valentine is voting half for experience, and half for a fresh new take on the news! You can't lose! But for now, here are today's events.

...In which there are a lot of alligators.

( Aldigators Ahoy! )

Turtle: I think that's a good note to leave on. If we run into any alligators on the way home, Val, you can just inspect their guts with a scalpel.

Valentine: Do you have a scalpel?

Turtle: No, but we can pick on up at Turtle & Canary, real good price! Remember, everyone, as you nurse your alligator wounds, to vote for radio broadcasters and a vote for Wexler-Wiggin...

Valentine: Wexwig?

Turtle: You so did not just name smush us. Anyway, vote for us, take care, watch out for alligators, good night and have a prosperous tomorrow!

Entry tags:

turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: May 10th.

Turtle: Good evening, fellow Fandomites! And an especially big greeting to all our new students and teachers! There sure are a lot of you, and I tried to meet most of you, but to those I missed, hi! I'm Turtle Wexler, and hopefully someone's told you about radio and that's why you're listening! I'm here to report to you all the day's events, the interesting and the uninteresting, as provided by the island's intrepid, drunken squirrels.

Valentine: Very drunken, by the looks of it.

Turtle: Oh, yeah! And, everyone, meet Valentine Wiggin. She's new here, but we got to talking about radio, and she was very curious about it, so she'll be joining me today.

Valentine: Hi. I'm just a little fascinated that you have squirrels that collect the news of what happened during the day, and then someone actually reads it off for everyone to hear.

Turtle: You catch on quick, Val. You'll be a natural at this! But let us not waste time, and let us get to the part you really want: the news!

( Turtlentine Radio? Valenurtle? Wigler? )

Turtle:And there you have it! That's today's news! Be sure to tune in all these next few weeks; it's about the time for radio auditions, and you'll want to vote for the best! Remember, a vote for Turtle Wexler is never a vote wasted! Good night and have a prosperous tomorrow!

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turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: April 26th.

Good evening, fellow Fandomites! It's Sunday, April 26th, and you're listening, of course, to Turtle Wexler on WTFH radio, bringing you all the news that's fit to--

...you know, for as long as I've been doing this, you'd think I could come up with a good rhyme for that. But, anyway, here's the scoop on what happened this fine Sunday.

( Read more... )

And there you have it! There's the news! Enjoy your week of rest before graduation. I am going to be stocking up on the booze for next weekend's radio. Good night and have a prosperous tomorrow.

Entry tags:

turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: April 12th.

Turtle: Good evening, fellow Fando--

Trip: I wanna say it!

Turtle: No, I always say it. Today's no exception, and you three are just going to sit there quietly while...ugh, Mommy here works, okay? Maybe I'll let you guys read some notes if you're good. But I do the greeting and the closing, got it?

Alice: Sure, Mom.

Sandy: Yes, Mother.

Trip: OKAY!

Turtle: Right. Let's try this again. Good evening, fellow Fandomites; it's Turtle Wexler here with you on WTFH radio, along with three children that I'd rather prefer not thinking about existing for at least another thirteen years. Let me also add that, all next week, contraceptives will be on sale at Turtle & Canary; just have Apu help you because I don't need to deal with that stuff.

Use protection, or else... *significant silence, followed by one giggle, a groan, and a facepalm*

Exactly. I knew I should have gone home for Easter this year. Let's get to the news.

( Children Children, Everywhere... )

Turtle: And that's all the news and it's way past your guys' bedtimes. Good night and--

Trip, Alice & Sandy: --have a prosperous tomorrow!

Turtle: HEY! What did I say about the clos-- No, Trip, don't touch tha--

*click*

Entry tags:

turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: April 5th.

( A Lawyer, a Model, and a Copper walk into a Radio Station, and are killed by Links. )

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turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: March 29th.

Good evening, fellow Fandomites! Good to have you all tuned in once more to WTFH Radio, listening to your weekly Sunday broadcast by moi! Turtle Wexler! Who is happy to report once more on a Sunday that's nice and quiet and not filled with weird.

Well, not too much weird, anyway. This is Fandom.

( Clever Radio Text Goes Here. )

That's all the news for the evening! Thanks for listening! Good night and have a prosperous tomorrow!

Entry tags:

turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: March 22nd.

Good evening, fellow Fandomites! It's Turtle Wexler here, as usual, for your WTFH Radio News Broadcast for this Sunday night, and I'm glad to say that I'm the right age, the right gender, and I don't have green peas or harpies everywhere. What I do have is a birthday in two days, but that's news for Tuesday, not today!

This is the news for today:

( News Flash: Cal Stephanides Spits on Things. )

And there's your news! It's nice to have a quiet Sunday after some of the more eventful ones. That said, next week, I'll probably be cursing over how much is going on, as usual.

Good night, and have a prosperous tomorrow!

Entry tags:

turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: March 15th.

Good evening, Fellow Fandomites! My name is Turtle Wexler, and I am up waaaaay past my bedtime, but it is okay, because I am reading the news like a very professional person. And there are lots of notes, so it's a good thing I'm good at reading. I practiced lots with my daddy's Wall Street Journal, and that has some really hard words in it, so this should be a snap! Plus, there are squirrels. They are cute. Especially since I don't think they're the disease carrying kind. My mommy says anything smaller than a cat can carry horrible diseases and that's why we can't have a pet rat. My mommy's a mean person like that.

But time to read and report, all professionally! Here we go! AHEM.

( Wee Wexler Wadio )

*GREAT BIT YAWN* And that's the end of it! It's definitely bedtime, but thank you for listening! Good night and have a pros'prus tomorrow!

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turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: March 08.

Good evening, Fellow Fandomites! It's Sunday, so it's Radio Time with Turtle Wexler. I'm thinking I should actually be resting right now....a lot...instead of being at the radio station, reporting on the news, so hopefully we'll be good and quick about this. Here we go!

( In which Turtle violates the very first rule with great abandon. )

And there we go! I'm going to go rest now. Rest is good.

Good night, and have a prosperous tomorrow!

Entry tags:

turtle wexler

Fandom Radio :: March 01.

Goooood evening, fellow Fandomites, and welcome back to the island! Back to the old grind, unfortunately, but the week off was definitely worth it! This is Turtle Wexler, as usual, with you on this Sunday Homecoming to share all the news about leaving port and settling back in after a glorious spring break.

Also, today's the first day of March! March is the best month, you know. I was born in it. Yay March!

But now...the news!

( Bring Back the Boat Broadcast )

And there you have it! All your news for your first day back and the first day of March. But even though those two are now directly connected, remember that March is awesome. Especially March 24th. Very good day, that one!

Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow!