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fandom_radio2009-02-09 12:38 am
stocksgrrl.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2009-02-09 12:38 am
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Fandom Radio :: February 8th.
Oh, goodness! I have not the faintest clue what it is that might have gotten into these little rodents, but they are rather forceful critters, aren't they? And I am fairly certain that one of them ruffled my skirts in a very improper fashion! Don't you understand that I am now a married woman, the Mrs. Blue Bandit, and it is most improper to be treating me in such a-- And you are keeping me from my husband, on our wedding night! It is of the most astonishing rudeness! I must go to him and conssuma-- Ouch! Stop that. And now what is all this? Why, I have never laid my eyes on anything like it! What a funny chair, and all these...metal things and flashing lights and oh! I fear it may all be too much for me!
*chittering*
Beg pardon? Oh! Papers! These I know, but what are they? Letters? I do not have time to read your letters, I must away to my husband, who is waiting for m-- Will you please stop chit-- Won't you-- WELL! If that is the way you insist on being, I will read your letters if you promise me that, as soon as they are finished, you will let me go to my husband. Of course, you naughty little squirrels are quite lucky that I am quite accomplished at reading letters; I read them quite often and write them even more than that. I cannot imagine you have quite the privilege, so, all right, I will gladly read for you your letters.
SCHOOL
Let us see...oh, it appears as though Mister Apollo was being very loud and disrespectful in the library. Well, I do say, being around so many books can make me feel a bit restless, too! Mister Germany...like the country? How interesting! Maybe he's a prince! He must be, and a soldier, too, because he asked Mister Apollo about war records and talked of invading Poland, oh, my! I wish I'd had a chance to meet him! And Doctor Jones...oh, my, a doctor!...wondered what Mister Apollo was doing there, and why the usual library aide was not. Oh! How funny! A bit of a nice trick there on Doctor Jones! Miss Buffy found herself quite boggled, and reasonably so, by Mister Apollo's antics, while Miss Claire simply took the man's autograph after failing to find something called a phone.
These letters have such strange words in them. Is that Portuguese, I wonder?
DORMS
Misses Eve and Georgianna might have had a pleasant morning if it were not for the latter still being rather upset about the weirdness of yesterday, which begs me to ask if Miss Georgianna had to suffer the ordeal of being shoved into a closet by a roguish boy.
Miss Mona had her dog growling at her, which just goes to show that sometimes little pets just are not worth the hassle. One should find far more enjoyment in being a pet herself rather than keeping her own, but I suppose if one is not so lucky, a dog would be an entertainment at best. And, speaking of entertainment, Mister Johnny stopped in to try to seduce her! How exciting! How scandalous! Oh, I can hardly stand it.
Miss Buffy settled in for a relaxing day of napping and conversation with her new roommate Miss Jessica.
Mister Malcolm appeared to be trapped in a closet; it is very trying for me to have to admit that I sympathize with his plight.
Miss Angela had a fitful night, poor thing, and decided to stay in for the day. Always a good idea when you are not feeling your best! Mister Chuck came by to speak with Miss Angela...behind closed doors? Unchaperoned? Oh, how wonderfully scandalous! Do you suppose they are to be wed, squirrel? Oh! But look at this! Mister Hannibal was by as well, and Miss Angela is said to have been terribly jumpy. Perhaps because of her secret rendezvous with Mister Chuck and it's actually Mister Hannibal in which she is to wed. Oh, how exciting!
And, before his clandestine meeting with Miss Angela, Mister Chuck was in his room, tending a wound. Oh, I imagine it had to have been from the most exciting row, with flared tempers and deeply moving passions! How very romantic! Mister Sam came to call and see how the wound was faring.
Miss Blossom was all in a tizzy about her room trying to find a misplaced assignment so that her governess did not reprimand her. Things like this is why I am always glad to have had a leisurely education. But, later, she was hard at work on something, so perhaps it was indeed her misplaced assignment.
Mister Sam was off to call on Mister Tom and they had a very gentlemanly chat.
In the rec room, which I understand is much like a parlour, Miss Tibby -- oh, there's a funny name!-- had a...cam-er-a? I am not sure I know what that is, but, already, I feel I must have one!
...Oh! Perhaps I certainly do not want one after all, as it appears, according to this letter, that it caused that awful, peculiar boy who locked me in a closet to talk to her. About him locking me in a closet, no less! What a horrible, terrible boy! And I must say, I am quite glad to have escaped, because there are much nicer gentlemen outside of that wretched place. Miss Calliope, who has a rather pretty name, also offered Miss Tibby an interview, as did Mister Marco and Miss Rachel.
Mister Luke was fixing a luncheon in the fifth floor parlour, which makes me a little sad that I have vowed to avoid that place due to the odd boy who lives there. A little luncheon and a game of cards would have been a very enjoyable repast! This is particularly true because that odd boy did indeed show up to discuss with Mister Luke and I do believe he is looking for me, and I must take a moment to applaud myself for staying far away. Miss Tomoyo was also there, looking for someone, but, as with me, Mister Luke had not seem Miss Tomoyo's friend, either. Miss Tomoyo should talk to the odd boy; mayhap he has trapped your friend in a closet.
At the firing range, Mister Wesley was practising their shooting while in a very distressed disposition, which does not sound like the best way to go about it. Miss Adora, however, seemed very impressed by the sorts of things that Mister Wesley could do with his gun. Mister Todd was also there to practise on his shooting.
The parlour on the third floor held the company of Miss Peyton and Miss Blossom who introduced herself and talked something called TV. Or maybe this letter is saying that they had tea? That makes far more sense; it is quite common for two ladies to converse over tea.
Miss Razormouth was being thoughtful up on the roof, which seems a little bit dangerous and no place for proper ladies. Miss Wallflower must disagree, however, since she joined the other lady and they conversed about cute little girls and brooding dispositions.
Miss Brooke was having a very bad time and a little bit of a cry in her room. I suppose not everyone could have the best day of their lives, even with being raucously kidnapped by squirrels on your wedding night.
Speaking of kidnapping and rodents, it appears as though Miss Bubbles has kidnapped a meerkat for her own amusement, and a tea party with Mister Bigglesworth and Octi, of whom I am not certain is a Miss or a Mister.
And Mister Ronon and Miss Hoshi return to Mister Ronon's room for behaviours most unbecoming of unwed partners. Behaviours that would be far more becoming for me and my husband, as we are married. But soon! These letters are nearly finished and then I shall be with my beloved Blue Bandit again.
TOWN
Finding myself disappointed with the shops in this town --really, are there no good hat makers?-- I entertained myself by feeding the ducks at the pond, but it was very boring, as this town is not very exciting. I did meet Mister Alex, whom I might have been more interested if I had not already met my true love and married him just this afternoon.
Miss Blysse was hard at work -- poor thing! manual labour, how horrible!-- at the Gig. Mister Hugo left the poor girl confused through a devise commonly known as circumlocution, which is a word that makes me sound very intelligent and well raised, which I was.
Then Mister Darkwing caused quite a stir at the store where Mister Greg is employed, breaking through a window and releasing copious amounts of smoke.
Mister G'Kar was far more respectable at his store, writing in a journal, which is very good practise for seeming well-read, just as letter writing can do! Mister Louis was not a very rational customer, finding fault in Mister G'Kar's appearance in a fashion most unsuitable.
Mister Julian was looking over all the arms and armourments at another store that shows that this town is not intended for fine ladies. Mister Worf demanded to know who Mister Julian was, although Mister Julian already seems to find Mister Worf a familiar acquaintance, while Mister Barclay also seemed to be a familiar face.
It also says in these letters that Miss She-Ra and her horse flew around the island, but, clearly, this writer is one of very fanciful imagination and it is all a bit of fiction. Horses do not fly.
That poor dear Miss Leto took her lunchtime repast at the park, where Miss Ghanima offered to be her midwife, so that Miss Leto's child may be born with ease and blessings.
Carrying a shovel, Miss Catwoman seems to have made her way to the bank. my husband was there, and the terrible villainess insulted his pants and tied him up! Oh, my beloved has survived so many trials! Mister Scott also found himself tied up at the whim of this wretched woman, and, as an emperor and a penguin, which makes very little sense, Miss Jayna and Mister Zan also tried to cease her activities, as did Miss Blossom and Miss Bubbles. Miss Catwoman very roundly and scandalously accused Miss She-Ra of being a woman of loose-morals and revealing clothing, but, ultimately, a hero by the rather repeatable name of Hero did bring this scurrilous and vile woman who insulted my husband to justice.
Mister Harry seemed rather nervous at the cafe, but seemed to have his jitters soothed a bit with conversations with Miss Charlotte and Miss Canary and Miss Agnes. Later, Miss Mina was at the cafe and also nervous, so perhaps it just makes people feel in such a way? Miss Agnes proved to be a very sympathetic ear.
Mister Kenta was excited to find...video games?...at a place rather questionably called Fast Eddie's.
Oh, and this letter speaks of the good Father O'Malley at the lovely Our Lady of Fandom Church, where, just today I was wed to my beloved Blue Bandit, and became Mrs. Blue Bandit, even though my impetuous and jealous sister attempted to interfere with an axe. Before this most joyous occasion, however, Mister Louis...oh, goodness, I would have never thought to flirt with a priest! That is certainly a new one. Mister America was not so well received, and Father O'Malley asked him to vacate. Mister Lestat arrived as well, and apparently also knew about the trick of flirting with a priest.
Later in the park, Mister Merlin gave a lesson on gravity that somehow, curiously, involved turning into squirrels. Let us move on past the part about that being impossible. I am very sure these squirrels are very interested in the impossible conversation between Mister Arthur and Mister Merlin squirrels about destiny. Also in this rather silly story of fancy is Miss Bubbles impossibly flying and impossibly talking squirrel while being impossibly named 'Bubbles.' I am mostly certain that this 'skateboarding' things that Mister Max did is also impossible, as was Mister Merlin making it disappear.
Mister Jason was going through some important business beside some sort of strange pond and the other Mister Jason called to tell him about some of the hot chicks that were there yesterday, which I find confusing. It is very temperate here, but certainly not warm enough for baby ducks to feel overly so. Mister Jason, of the first variety, was concerned for Miss Daisy's lack of pants, but of course she wouldn't be wearing trousers, she's a woman!
Mister Louis was exploring his house, which I suppose is a way to kill the time, and my dear intervening sister seems to have told him all about something called the undead, and, really, after this afternoon's theatrics, I am half convinced my dear sister has lost her dear mind. Little Miss Claudia demanded a mother out of Mister Louis, and I believe that someone should explain to the girl that it doesn't quite work that way.
Little Miss Claudia was dragging her dolly in the dirt, and I do hope the girl is more careful with her other things, or I should say that she shouldn't have nice things at all, if she treats them with such disrespect. Just as she has treated Mister John appallingly by almost eating him to death, it seems, before Mister Wesley only added insult to grievous injury by kicking him. Mister Jean-Paul was far more reasonable in offering to find Little Miss Claudia a police officer. I am starting to believe that it is not for helping the little girl that the officer would be needed for, but to detain her, as she had treated Miss Claire horribly for trying to help her as well! I should say, on my way to returning to my husband, I should not help any little girls without the sense to keep their poppets out of the dirt! Nor should she have bitten talking pieces of chocolate that she conversed with, as pieces of chocolate do not talk and I am starting to think that the writer of this letter has sampled far too much punch. And that Miss Claudia's parents raised her terribly, because she bit Miss Naomi, as well. The letter does not say if she bit Miss Éowyn, but it does say that Miss Éowyn, unlike some personages in this room, failed to find someone to wed her, and so the little girl might have been doing Miss Éowyn a favour. Then, the letter mentions that a...goth girl? complimented the child on her doll, which continues to sound like nonsense because who would compliment a mistreated toy?
I cannot believe I am being held away from my husband for this. He may have to be gone but tomorrow!
Mister Warren was a bit confused by the gaggle of people surrounding Cafe Fina. Oh? Do they usually not get much in the way of patronage? It certainly sounds like the impressive sort of place one might go to be noticed, but perhaps I am wrong? Oh, how embarrassing it would be if I had gone! Miss Blossom had gone, however, to argue semantics on the definition of a sandwich.
Miss Black Canary was acting with a great deal of unladylike qualities that make even my dear sister Lizzy look as docile as a kitten over at Atlas Gym. Mister Arthur had many questions for her.
While eating delicious pastries, Mister Obi-Wan pondered things, as one does, but he was not so thoughtful that Mister Anakin would escape his attention. Mister Anakin also seemed to inspire Miss Jessica to worry about fitting into her clothing if she ate too much, but, I assure you, a plumper look is better; you want a future husband to see that you're not starving because you cannot afford food! On the other end of starvation, however, was Mister Bender, amusing Mister Obi-wan with his consumption.
A meerkat -- oh, what an exotic, exciting pet that would make, as Miss Bubbles earlier found out! -- ran around the Freelance Police, but it appears as though there was no one around to take care of it, how sad! Mister Goofy and his son Max were confused to find a meerkat in their house, which, apparently, was also not their house, and this letter is terribly confusing.
Miss Lacey had a stroll through the preserve, which may have been more scenic, but if I had chosen that route, I'm sure my love would have missed me and we would not have been wed! Oh, how I wish I could go to him now!
Miss Buffy must not have an overbearing older sister, as she is allowed to take walks unchaperoned, even after dark. Neither does Miss Mina, although the two ladies to cross paths so maybe they from thereon in accompanied each other. If so, then Miss Mina had departed by the time Mister Lestat encountered Miss Buffy; she very promptly shot him with a-- Oh my.
And dear Lizzy says she does not approve of my method of achieving a husband!
Mister Ronon dutifully held watch at the clinic.
Miss Canary was hanging out on rooftops, which is quite funny. This is especially true when Mister America comes about and mistakes Miss Canary for a...lady of loose morals. If that is such the case, she is quite a professional about it, as she gives Mister Darkwing her card.
At that scandalous tavern where I first danced with my husband, Mister Jolee made sure his servants were set to work, like a good tavernmaster should, I imagine, although I know very little of business matters. Miss Lacey declared better rights for the...zombie? entertainment, which seemed to startle Miss Canary quite a bit and causes heckling from Miss Jenny. However, she does have a pleasant reunion with Miss Wendy. Mister Greg sang quite a jaunty tune, even if Miss Lacey was pretending to be deceased through the performance. I believe Miss Lacey is a bit odd, though still not as odd as the boy who trapped me in a closet. Mister Luke tried to tell Miss Brooke a joke, but the latter seemed thoroughly unimpressed by the bore's attempt at humour. Mister Hugo believes that Miss Penelope must be from Alabama, and has quite the talent of insulting and complimenting her all at once. Mister Ronan and Miss Jenny converse on the topic of...shagging famous people? Must be some guttural street slang. Mister Tony informs Mister Ronon that the world has gone utterly made and he has...photos? Again, this letter writer, making up such strange words! Miss Hoshi discussed with Mister Hugo a great many things, likely before she...'hit on?'...oh, I suppose that means they got into a very unseemly row...anyway, acting very unladylike, Miss Hoshi struck Miss Calliope, before Miss Hoshi very scandelously left in the company of Mister Ronon.
Notably, in the crowd, as it is important to know which personages grace a social gathering, we had Mister Luke, Miss Calliope, Miss Canary, and Miss Kim all partaking in drinks, and the very strange Mister Alex took refuge in the back parlour.
And there you have it. That is the last of your letters, naughty squirrels, and while I am very flattered that you thought I should be reading them to you tonight, I believe I have a husband to get to and a marriage to consummate.
...
*click*
*chittering*
Beg pardon? Oh! Papers! These I know, but what are they? Letters? I do not have time to read your letters, I must away to my husband, who is waiting for m-- Will you please stop chit-- Won't you-- WELL! If that is the way you insist on being, I will read your letters if you promise me that, as soon as they are finished, you will let me go to my husband. Of course, you naughty little squirrels are quite lucky that I am quite accomplished at reading letters; I read them quite often and write them even more than that. I cannot imagine you have quite the privilege, so, all right, I will gladly read for you your letters.
SCHOOL
Let us see...oh, it appears as though Mister Apollo was being very loud and disrespectful in the library. Well, I do say, being around so many books can make me feel a bit restless, too! Mister Germany...like the country? How interesting! Maybe he's a prince! He must be, and a soldier, too, because he asked Mister Apollo about war records and talked of invading Poland, oh, my! I wish I'd had a chance to meet him! And Doctor Jones...oh, my, a doctor!...wondered what Mister Apollo was doing there, and why the usual library aide was not. Oh! How funny! A bit of a nice trick there on Doctor Jones! Miss Buffy found herself quite boggled, and reasonably so, by Mister Apollo's antics, while Miss Claire simply took the man's autograph after failing to find something called a phone.
These letters have such strange words in them. Is that Portuguese, I wonder?
DORMS
Misses Eve and Georgianna might have had a pleasant morning if it were not for the latter still being rather upset about the weirdness of yesterday, which begs me to ask if Miss Georgianna had to suffer the ordeal of being shoved into a closet by a roguish boy.
Miss Mona had her dog growling at her, which just goes to show that sometimes little pets just are not worth the hassle. One should find far more enjoyment in being a pet herself rather than keeping her own, but I suppose if one is not so lucky, a dog would be an entertainment at best. And, speaking of entertainment, Mister Johnny stopped in to try to seduce her! How exciting! How scandalous! Oh, I can hardly stand it.
Miss Buffy settled in for a relaxing day of napping and conversation with her new roommate Miss Jessica.
Mister Malcolm appeared to be trapped in a closet; it is very trying for me to have to admit that I sympathize with his plight.
Miss Angela had a fitful night, poor thing, and decided to stay in for the day. Always a good idea when you are not feeling your best! Mister Chuck came by to speak with Miss Angela...behind closed doors? Unchaperoned? Oh, how wonderfully scandalous! Do you suppose they are to be wed, squirrel? Oh! But look at this! Mister Hannibal was by as well, and Miss Angela is said to have been terribly jumpy. Perhaps because of her secret rendezvous with Mister Chuck and it's actually Mister Hannibal in which she is to wed. Oh, how exciting!
And, before his clandestine meeting with Miss Angela, Mister Chuck was in his room, tending a wound. Oh, I imagine it had to have been from the most exciting row, with flared tempers and deeply moving passions! How very romantic! Mister Sam came to call and see how the wound was faring.
Miss Blossom was all in a tizzy about her room trying to find a misplaced assignment so that her governess did not reprimand her. Things like this is why I am always glad to have had a leisurely education. But, later, she was hard at work on something, so perhaps it was indeed her misplaced assignment.
Mister Sam was off to call on Mister Tom and they had a very gentlemanly chat.
In the rec room, which I understand is much like a parlour, Miss Tibby -- oh, there's a funny name!-- had a...cam-er-a? I am not sure I know what that is, but, already, I feel I must have one!
...Oh! Perhaps I certainly do not want one after all, as it appears, according to this letter, that it caused that awful, peculiar boy who locked me in a closet to talk to her. About him locking me in a closet, no less! What a horrible, terrible boy! And I must say, I am quite glad to have escaped, because there are much nicer gentlemen outside of that wretched place. Miss Calliope, who has a rather pretty name, also offered Miss Tibby an interview, as did Mister Marco and Miss Rachel.
Mister Luke was fixing a luncheon in the fifth floor parlour, which makes me a little sad that I have vowed to avoid that place due to the odd boy who lives there. A little luncheon and a game of cards would have been a very enjoyable repast! This is particularly true because that odd boy did indeed show up to discuss with Mister Luke and I do believe he is looking for me, and I must take a moment to applaud myself for staying far away. Miss Tomoyo was also there, looking for someone, but, as with me, Mister Luke had not seem Miss Tomoyo's friend, either. Miss Tomoyo should talk to the odd boy; mayhap he has trapped your friend in a closet.
At the firing range, Mister Wesley was practising their shooting while in a very distressed disposition, which does not sound like the best way to go about it. Miss Adora, however, seemed very impressed by the sorts of things that Mister Wesley could do with his gun. Mister Todd was also there to practise on his shooting.
The parlour on the third floor held the company of Miss Peyton and Miss Blossom who introduced herself and talked something called TV. Or maybe this letter is saying that they had tea? That makes far more sense; it is quite common for two ladies to converse over tea.
Miss Razormouth was being thoughtful up on the roof, which seems a little bit dangerous and no place for proper ladies. Miss Wallflower must disagree, however, since she joined the other lady and they conversed about cute little girls and brooding dispositions.
Miss Brooke was having a very bad time and a little bit of a cry in her room. I suppose not everyone could have the best day of their lives, even with being raucously kidnapped by squirrels on your wedding night.
Speaking of kidnapping and rodents, it appears as though Miss Bubbles has kidnapped a meerkat for her own amusement, and a tea party with Mister Bigglesworth and Octi, of whom I am not certain is a Miss or a Mister.
And Mister Ronon and Miss Hoshi return to Mister Ronon's room for behaviours most unbecoming of unwed partners. Behaviours that would be far more becoming for me and my husband, as we are married. But soon! These letters are nearly finished and then I shall be with my beloved Blue Bandit again.
TOWN
Finding myself disappointed with the shops in this town --really, are there no good hat makers?-- I entertained myself by feeding the ducks at the pond, but it was very boring, as this town is not very exciting. I did meet Mister Alex, whom I might have been more interested if I had not already met my true love and married him just this afternoon.
Miss Blysse was hard at work -- poor thing! manual labour, how horrible!-- at the Gig. Mister Hugo left the poor girl confused through a devise commonly known as circumlocution, which is a word that makes me sound very intelligent and well raised, which I was.
Then Mister Darkwing caused quite a stir at the store where Mister Greg is employed, breaking through a window and releasing copious amounts of smoke.
Mister G'Kar was far more respectable at his store, writing in a journal, which is very good practise for seeming well-read, just as letter writing can do! Mister Louis was not a very rational customer, finding fault in Mister G'Kar's appearance in a fashion most unsuitable.
Mister Julian was looking over all the arms and armourments at another store that shows that this town is not intended for fine ladies. Mister Worf demanded to know who Mister Julian was, although Mister Julian already seems to find Mister Worf a familiar acquaintance, while Mister Barclay also seemed to be a familiar face.
It also says in these letters that Miss She-Ra and her horse flew around the island, but, clearly, this writer is one of very fanciful imagination and it is all a bit of fiction. Horses do not fly.
That poor dear Miss Leto took her lunchtime repast at the park, where Miss Ghanima offered to be her midwife, so that Miss Leto's child may be born with ease and blessings.
Carrying a shovel, Miss Catwoman seems to have made her way to the bank. my husband was there, and the terrible villainess insulted his pants and tied him up! Oh, my beloved has survived so many trials! Mister Scott also found himself tied up at the whim of this wretched woman, and, as an emperor and a penguin, which makes very little sense, Miss Jayna and Mister Zan also tried to cease her activities, as did Miss Blossom and Miss Bubbles. Miss Catwoman very roundly and scandalously accused Miss She-Ra of being a woman of loose-morals and revealing clothing, but, ultimately, a hero by the rather repeatable name of Hero did bring this scurrilous and vile woman who insulted my husband to justice.
Mister Harry seemed rather nervous at the cafe, but seemed to have his jitters soothed a bit with conversations with Miss Charlotte and Miss Canary and Miss Agnes. Later, Miss Mina was at the cafe and also nervous, so perhaps it just makes people feel in such a way? Miss Agnes proved to be a very sympathetic ear.
Mister Kenta was excited to find...video games?...at a place rather questionably called Fast Eddie's.
Oh, and this letter speaks of the good Father O'Malley at the lovely Our Lady of Fandom Church, where, just today I was wed to my beloved Blue Bandit, and became Mrs. Blue Bandit, even though my impetuous and jealous sister attempted to interfere with an axe. Before this most joyous occasion, however, Mister Louis...oh, goodness, I would have never thought to flirt with a priest! That is certainly a new one. Mister America was not so well received, and Father O'Malley asked him to vacate. Mister Lestat arrived as well, and apparently also knew about the trick of flirting with a priest.
Later in the park, Mister Merlin gave a lesson on gravity that somehow, curiously, involved turning into squirrels. Let us move on past the part about that being impossible. I am very sure these squirrels are very interested in the impossible conversation between Mister Arthur and Mister Merlin squirrels about destiny. Also in this rather silly story of fancy is Miss Bubbles impossibly flying and impossibly talking squirrel while being impossibly named 'Bubbles.' I am mostly certain that this 'skateboarding' things that Mister Max did is also impossible, as was Mister Merlin making it disappear.
Mister Jason was going through some important business beside some sort of strange pond and the other Mister Jason called to tell him about some of the hot chicks that were there yesterday, which I find confusing. It is very temperate here, but certainly not warm enough for baby ducks to feel overly so. Mister Jason, of the first variety, was concerned for Miss Daisy's lack of pants, but of course she wouldn't be wearing trousers, she's a woman!
Mister Louis was exploring his house, which I suppose is a way to kill the time, and my dear intervening sister seems to have told him all about something called the undead, and, really, after this afternoon's theatrics, I am half convinced my dear sister has lost her dear mind. Little Miss Claudia demanded a mother out of Mister Louis, and I believe that someone should explain to the girl that it doesn't quite work that way.
Little Miss Claudia was dragging her dolly in the dirt, and I do hope the girl is more careful with her other things, or I should say that she shouldn't have nice things at all, if she treats them with such disrespect. Just as she has treated Mister John appallingly by almost eating him to death, it seems, before Mister Wesley only added insult to grievous injury by kicking him. Mister Jean-Paul was far more reasonable in offering to find Little Miss Claudia a police officer. I am starting to believe that it is not for helping the little girl that the officer would be needed for, but to detain her, as she had treated Miss Claire horribly for trying to help her as well! I should say, on my way to returning to my husband, I should not help any little girls without the sense to keep their poppets out of the dirt! Nor should she have bitten talking pieces of chocolate that she conversed with, as pieces of chocolate do not talk and I am starting to think that the writer of this letter has sampled far too much punch. And that Miss Claudia's parents raised her terribly, because she bit Miss Naomi, as well. The letter does not say if she bit Miss Éowyn, but it does say that Miss Éowyn, unlike some personages in this room, failed to find someone to wed her, and so the little girl might have been doing Miss Éowyn a favour. Then, the letter mentions that a...goth girl? complimented the child on her doll, which continues to sound like nonsense because who would compliment a mistreated toy?
I cannot believe I am being held away from my husband for this. He may have to be gone but tomorrow!
Mister Warren was a bit confused by the gaggle of people surrounding Cafe Fina. Oh? Do they usually not get much in the way of patronage? It certainly sounds like the impressive sort of place one might go to be noticed, but perhaps I am wrong? Oh, how embarrassing it would be if I had gone! Miss Blossom had gone, however, to argue semantics on the definition of a sandwich.
Miss Black Canary was acting with a great deal of unladylike qualities that make even my dear sister Lizzy look as docile as a kitten over at Atlas Gym. Mister Arthur had many questions for her.
While eating delicious pastries, Mister Obi-Wan pondered things, as one does, but he was not so thoughtful that Mister Anakin would escape his attention. Mister Anakin also seemed to inspire Miss Jessica to worry about fitting into her clothing if she ate too much, but, I assure you, a plumper look is better; you want a future husband to see that you're not starving because you cannot afford food! On the other end of starvation, however, was Mister Bender, amusing Mister Obi-wan with his consumption.
A meerkat -- oh, what an exotic, exciting pet that would make, as Miss Bubbles earlier found out! -- ran around the Freelance Police, but it appears as though there was no one around to take care of it, how sad! Mister Goofy and his son Max were confused to find a meerkat in their house, which, apparently, was also not their house, and this letter is terribly confusing.
Miss Lacey had a stroll through the preserve, which may have been more scenic, but if I had chosen that route, I'm sure my love would have missed me and we would not have been wed! Oh, how I wish I could go to him now!
Miss Buffy must not have an overbearing older sister, as she is allowed to take walks unchaperoned, even after dark. Neither does Miss Mina, although the two ladies to cross paths so maybe they from thereon in accompanied each other. If so, then Miss Mina had departed by the time Mister Lestat encountered Miss Buffy; she very promptly shot him with a-- Oh my.
And dear Lizzy says she does not approve of my method of achieving a husband!
Mister Ronon dutifully held watch at the clinic.
Miss Canary was hanging out on rooftops, which is quite funny. This is especially true when Mister America comes about and mistakes Miss Canary for a...lady of loose morals. If that is such the case, she is quite a professional about it, as she gives Mister Darkwing her card.
At that scandalous tavern where I first danced with my husband, Mister Jolee made sure his servants were set to work, like a good tavernmaster should, I imagine, although I know very little of business matters. Miss Lacey declared better rights for the...zombie? entertainment, which seemed to startle Miss Canary quite a bit and causes heckling from Miss Jenny. However, she does have a pleasant reunion with Miss Wendy. Mister Greg sang quite a jaunty tune, even if Miss Lacey was pretending to be deceased through the performance. I believe Miss Lacey is a bit odd, though still not as odd as the boy who trapped me in a closet. Mister Luke tried to tell Miss Brooke a joke, but the latter seemed thoroughly unimpressed by the bore's attempt at humour. Mister Hugo believes that Miss Penelope must be from Alabama, and has quite the talent of insulting and complimenting her all at once. Mister Ronan and Miss Jenny converse on the topic of...shagging famous people? Must be some guttural street slang. Mister Tony informs Mister Ronon that the world has gone utterly made and he has...photos? Again, this letter writer, making up such strange words! Miss Hoshi discussed with Mister Hugo a great many things, likely before she...'hit on?'...oh, I suppose that means they got into a very unseemly row...anyway, acting very unladylike, Miss Hoshi struck Miss Calliope, before Miss Hoshi very scandelously left in the company of Mister Ronon.
Notably, in the crowd, as it is important to know which personages grace a social gathering, we had Mister Luke, Miss Calliope, Miss Canary, and Miss Kim all partaking in drinks, and the very strange Mister Alex took refuge in the back parlour.
And there you have it. That is the last of your letters, naughty squirrels, and while I am very flattered that you thought I should be reading them to you tonight, I believe I have a husband to get to and a marriage to consummate.
...
*click*