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fandom_radio2007-03-14 06:54 am
rustyboywonder.livejournal.com) wrote in fandom_radio2007-03-14 06:54 am
Fandom Radio, March 13
Deadpool: "Welcome back true believers! Deadpool here with my non-nun, non-roommate co-host. You all may remember him as that creepy guy around town."
Venture: "I am not creepy. I'm just too old for my libido. There's a difference."
School
Deadpool: "Today in Driver's Ed we watched The Moderately Paced and the Mildly Irate. And then Mel, who is the best student ever, brought me donuts and cash. And for some reason, I clearly don't know, Door demanded porn. No idea why because I am a teacher and that would be inappropriate." *cough* "Then 20th Century History talked about medicine."
Venture: "Change the subject, much?"
Deadpool: "I have no idea what you're talking about. In Revolutions Aly is back. Hi Aly! Killed Mardox yet? The students discussed rebellion in their own government. Parker, Bridge andGirl!Sam passed notes to Isabel. Popular girl since then Anders told her that he was happy to see her. Bel lets her know that he's alive and not among the undead. Good for him. Bel was also popular because he got a note from Parker and WTF-ed at by Anders, who he growled at. Rabies shot?"
Venture: "If he doesn't get one, we might have to put him down... again."
Deadpool: "Just like Old Yeller. Bridge talked to Aly about someone named Xander, harems and mud wrestling. I don't know this guy, but I think I like him! D'Anna, Bel, and Isabel all apologize for missing class, but only Bel and Isabel had good excuses. Off planet and Dead. Nice!"
Venture: "And people wonder why I teach my sons with subliminal messaging pumped into their brains while they sleep."
Deadpool: "...You scare me sometimes and that's a bad thing. Superheroing 101 talked super villains and I'm sad to see I wasn't invited. Then they handed in homework, after which they
broke
into
small.
groups. And, keeping in step with the previous class, Katara apologized for missing class."
Venture: "She had an excuse, right? Like... she was too busy making out or something?"
Deadpool: "She is a potential lesbian. Home Ec learned to wash laundry by first working on Emma's. Then Peter, who is clearly a sheep, apologized for missing class. Computer Science programed robots and got into partners for it. Teach them to kill. Please?"
Venture: "If anyone can teach one to be competent, they'd be welcome to reprogram H.E.L.P.eR. So, apparently Yonda-may-be-gay had office hours today. Where I'm betting he was being a perv, because, well, he's Japanese. John Winchester isn't a slant-eyed perv, and has the Summers girls in his office. Dr. Wilson has no girls in his office, because he's a flaming queen. And Sam and Dean Winchester bothered our principal. Does anybody even really respect that woman?"
Deadpool: "This is me, really not going to protect you from an angry pregnant woman. They're scary."
Venture: "Oh please. It means you can run away easier. The office, like a cheap hooker's legs, is wide open. Over in the big gay Az office, gets his business on with Annette, Liz Sherman, and Billy. Oh, and speaking of flaming but in the literal sense, your vice principal returned from wherever the hell he was at. I bet it was nicer than where I was. Stupid family. Stupid David Bowie."
Deadpool: "Not Ziggy Stardust!"
Venture: "More like Ziggy Heil Stardust. Sam Winchester, probably fresh from his activities, opened the library, which Billy enters. Dueling Club met and, oh this is good, fling jinxes. There is also 'mingling' and Orpheus is there. Please tell me the students jinxed him. Young Entrepreneurs meet and 'play Monopoly'. Which is, of course, code for kinky BDSM stuff. Boardwalk and Park Place right up, well, you catch my drift. And if you don't believe me, even the squirrels say you can 'poke the supervisor'. Very, very dirty."
Dorms
Deadpool: "I'm sitting right here. There was no orgy folks, because my Turtle is a pure and innocent flower who, if anyone hurts, I will gut and use their intestines to hang them with.Gigante played guitar on the roof, most likely also singing one of those soulful emo songs you kooky kids are so fond of. Annette wondered along and listened to him play. Aww, Gigante has a groupie. Pip was invited to join in on the rock star fun. Will they start dating models and doing drugs next?"
Venture: "As long as they don't start dating the drugs and doing the models... well okay, maybe that last part would still be good, but drugs are only a crutch in the end, kids. Now where the hell are my diet pills..."
Deadpool: "Words of wisdom kids. Just look at him and be scared straight. Will Vandom gave away hot chocolate in the fourth floor common room. Wait, so her name is Vandom and she attends school at Fandom? I don't know if that's wonderful or horrible. She then discussed Costco and nuclear winter with my minion, whose sexuality is nobodies business but her own, Setsuna. Jake, who is a fan of coffee according to the squirrels, lowers himself for some hot cocoa. Poor guy doesn't have standards. Jake and Setsuna make stilted small talk. Why is that? Are they exs? Setsuna, do you want me to get with the stabby? I can get with it if you want. Mac, the adorable lesbian who I am not mentoring, caught up with Jake, who may or may not be Setsuna's ex, and then talked about how she's trying to program a robot. Will it father children inexplicably?"
Venture: "I thought she was a lesbian. Why would she want a robot capable of fathering kids? Why would anyone want a robot capable of fathering kids?"
Deadpool: "Tell that to Wanda Maximoff. Or that nubile Wiccan. The unfortunately named Will Vandom was educated about veganism by Mac. Veganism, as we all know, is code for girlkissy. Go Will! The brat I have to kill for hitting on Rosette had some hot chocolate, as did Carmela."
Venture: "I always hope that my dates invite me back for a cup of hot sex... I mean, chocolate. Irulan has apparently gone to the gym to stretch, and then give Evie 'self defense lessons', which, of course, is code for sex. Isn't that right?"
Deadpool: "As long as sexiness ensues, sure!"
Venture: "Katara and Mel discussed what they can do without Zuko in the room. If the idea of hot lesbian sex didn't occur to you, you can thank me for my suggestion with pictures. Assuming you're both 18 or willing to contractually claim you are. If not, I said nothing of the sort. That minxy Japanese lesbian was desperate for some John Connor attention today, and an English Peter comes in on a Willow in his bed. That's a girl, right?"
Deadpool: "It's a girl and it doesn't make it any better."
Venture: "Hermione discussed posting owls with Rikku. I'm no friend of animal rights activists, but someone might want to call PETA if she's actually hammering birds into the ground with posts. Jack screws and tells, specifically about his hooking up with River to some guy named Cedric. Abby and Miley get back in town, raising the amount of lesbians on the island even further. That calls for a drink, co-host!"
Deadpool: "A toast to the lesbians of Fandom!"
Venture: "A toast! And where there's a Will, there's a butch lesbian with a butch name. Also, she gets a package. Jim wakes up Lana with a package as well. That queer queen Teddy woke up Chad from a nap, probably with something unnatural being put somewhere wrong, and told him about his so called 'field trip'. That means he's going to be cheating on you with other boys, Chad. Sorry to break it to you."
Deadpool: "No, no. Teddy's dating that Wiccan kid. Best selling."
Venture: "Hey, I was a number one selling DVD on Amazon. Your gay superheroes ever do that?"
Deadpool: "If they had a DVD sure! Wait. Did you just break the fourth wall? I'm the only one allowed to do that! And occasionally Shulkie! But mostly me!"
Venture: "I blame hanging out with you. Anyways, Jack, being a boy after my own heart, checks out Isabel and makes plans with her. You dog, you. And speaking of dogs, Parker is a big geek and utilizes an IM service."
Deadpool: "She tried to take my picture once. I felt violated. And not in a good way."
Town
Venture: "You? Violated? That's a good one. Rose and Annette talked at the Perk, Cafe Fina is trying to sell seaweed as gourmet food, Moist opened the Post Office, and Annette came in to ship sex toys?"
Deadpool: "...I think it's best I don't comment on that one."
Venture: "His royal gayness Teddy enjoys chocolate and opens Sparky's, the hot nun enjoys robots and jelly, Hannelore enjoys the tub, and Jane at Turtle and Canary enjoys just opening her shop. Butch Sun and the Whipped-Dance Crichton went to go see some horrible movie. With a theater full of Jamies. Huh."
Deadpool: "SET IT ON FIRE! NOW! QUICKLY PEOPLE! BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!"
Venture: "Stripper girl is apparently now hooker girl, as she's walking the park for tricks. John Conner invites her to a beach party, Aiden chats but wants no sex, and then our stripper-hooker gets harassed by the old hippie. I actually might pity the poor girl. Might."
Deadpool: "Candy, it's okay. Rosette is the patron saint of strippers, she'll help you out."
Venture: "And hey, that John kid actually threw a party. Billy arrives and John brags about having Krackel bits. I hope that isn't what he calls his red-flag bits. The stripper brought her own weiners. That speaks for itself. John is hungry for something, possibly food, possibly Stripper girl. Possibly even both. Billy asks her how she enjoyed the flood, and then Billy and John harass the nun and not in a good way.
Deadpool: "Billy? This is me officially threatening your life if you ever touch that nun. Ever. I'll cut off whatever touches her. Got it? Good. Over at the clinic this morning Dr Troy aired out the fishy smell and then Annette showed up to play with him. Pervert senses tingling!"
Venture: "I think we might have a winner for biggest perv on the island. And it isn't me."
Deadpool: "A NINJA was there that evening. Caritas had no drinking sea horses tonight, which is sad. It's like that poor Trix rabbit. Just give him the damn food!"
Venture: "Silly co-host, tricks are for hookers."
Deadpool: "Then maybe we should get him a hooker."
Venture: "So then, if you want to contribute to our special 'get the Trix rabbit a hooker' fund, just find me outside my lousy mud-filled lab and give me some money. As it stands, this was Deadpool and Dr. Venture, and we're bidding you a goodnight."
[ooc: And to those who read the earlier version and were offended, my apologies. Since Venture and Deadpool's radio normally seems most well received when they go over the top with their sexual banter, it always seems like we need to up the ante. Obviously, I went too far last night. My humblest of apologies again.]
Venture: "I am not creepy. I'm just too old for my libido. There's a difference."
School
Deadpool: "Today in Driver's Ed we watched The Moderately Paced and the Mildly Irate. And then Mel, who is the best student ever, brought me donuts and cash. And for some reason, I clearly don't know, Door demanded porn. No idea why because I am a teacher and that would be inappropriate." *cough* "Then 20th Century History talked about medicine."
Venture: "Change the subject, much?"
Deadpool: "I have no idea what you're talking about. In Revolutions Aly is back. Hi Aly! Killed Mardox yet? The students discussed rebellion in their own government. Parker, Bridge andGirl!Sam passed notes to Isabel. Popular girl since then Anders told her that he was happy to see her. Bel lets her know that he's alive and not among the undead. Good for him. Bel was also popular because he got a note from Parker and WTF-ed at by Anders, who he growled at. Rabies shot?"
Venture: "If he doesn't get one, we might have to put him down... again."
Deadpool: "Just like Old Yeller. Bridge talked to Aly about someone named Xander, harems and mud wrestling. I don't know this guy, but I think I like him! D'Anna, Bel, and Isabel all apologize for missing class, but only Bel and Isabel had good excuses. Off planet and Dead. Nice!"
Venture: "And people wonder why I teach my sons with subliminal messaging pumped into their brains while they sleep."
Deadpool: "...You scare me sometimes and that's a bad thing. Superheroing 101 talked super villains and I'm sad to see I wasn't invited. Then they handed in homework, after which they
broke
into
small.
groups. And, keeping in step with the previous class, Katara apologized for missing class."
Venture: "She had an excuse, right? Like... she was too busy making out or something?"
Deadpool: "She is a potential lesbian. Home Ec learned to wash laundry by first working on Emma's. Then Peter, who is clearly a sheep, apologized for missing class. Computer Science programed robots and got into partners for it. Teach them to kill. Please?"
Venture: "If anyone can teach one to be competent, they'd be welcome to reprogram H.E.L.P.eR. So, apparently Yonda-may-be-gay had office hours today. Where I'm betting he was being a perv, because, well, he's Japanese. John Winchester isn't a slant-eyed perv, and has the Summers girls in his office. Dr. Wilson has no girls in his office, because he's a flaming queen. And Sam and Dean Winchester bothered our principal. Does anybody even really respect that woman?"
Deadpool: "This is me, really not going to protect you from an angry pregnant woman. They're scary."
Venture: "Oh please. It means you can run away easier. The office, like a cheap hooker's legs, is wide open. Over in the big gay Az office, gets his business on with Annette, Liz Sherman, and Billy. Oh, and speaking of flaming but in the literal sense, your vice principal returned from wherever the hell he was at. I bet it was nicer than where I was. Stupid family. Stupid David Bowie."
Deadpool: "Not Ziggy Stardust!"
Venture: "More like Ziggy Heil Stardust. Sam Winchester, probably fresh from his activities, opened the library, which Billy enters. Dueling Club met and, oh this is good, fling jinxes. There is also 'mingling' and Orpheus is there. Please tell me the students jinxed him. Young Entrepreneurs meet and 'play Monopoly'. Which is, of course, code for kinky BDSM stuff. Boardwalk and Park Place right up, well, you catch my drift. And if you don't believe me, even the squirrels say you can 'poke the supervisor'. Very, very dirty."
Dorms
Deadpool: "I'm sitting right here. There was no orgy folks, because my Turtle is a pure and innocent flower who, if anyone hurts, I will gut and use their intestines to hang them with.Gigante played guitar on the roof, most likely also singing one of those soulful emo songs you kooky kids are so fond of. Annette wondered along and listened to him play. Aww, Gigante has a groupie. Pip was invited to join in on the rock star fun. Will they start dating models and doing drugs next?"
Venture: "As long as they don't start dating the drugs and doing the models... well okay, maybe that last part would still be good, but drugs are only a crutch in the end, kids. Now where the hell are my diet pills..."
Deadpool: "Words of wisdom kids. Just look at him and be scared straight. Will Vandom gave away hot chocolate in the fourth floor common room. Wait, so her name is Vandom and she attends school at Fandom? I don't know if that's wonderful or horrible. She then discussed Costco and nuclear winter with my minion, whose sexuality is nobodies business but her own, Setsuna. Jake, who is a fan of coffee according to the squirrels, lowers himself for some hot cocoa. Poor guy doesn't have standards. Jake and Setsuna make stilted small talk. Why is that? Are they exs? Setsuna, do you want me to get with the stabby? I can get with it if you want. Mac, the adorable lesbian who I am not mentoring, caught up with Jake, who may or may not be Setsuna's ex, and then talked about how she's trying to program a robot. Will it father children inexplicably?"
Venture: "I thought she was a lesbian. Why would she want a robot capable of fathering kids? Why would anyone want a robot capable of fathering kids?"
Deadpool: "Tell that to Wanda Maximoff. Or that nubile Wiccan. The unfortunately named Will Vandom was educated about veganism by Mac. Veganism, as we all know, is code for girlkissy. Go Will! The brat I have to kill for hitting on Rosette had some hot chocolate, as did Carmela."
Venture: "I always hope that my dates invite me back for a cup of hot sex... I mean, chocolate. Irulan has apparently gone to the gym to stretch, and then give Evie 'self defense lessons', which, of course, is code for sex. Isn't that right?"
Deadpool: "As long as sexiness ensues, sure!"
Venture: "Katara and Mel discussed what they can do without Zuko in the room. If the idea of hot lesbian sex didn't occur to you, you can thank me for my suggestion with pictures. Assuming you're both 18 or willing to contractually claim you are. If not, I said nothing of the sort. That minxy Japanese lesbian was desperate for some John Connor attention today, and an English Peter comes in on a Willow in his bed. That's a girl, right?"
Deadpool: "It's a girl and it doesn't make it any better."
Venture: "Hermione discussed posting owls with Rikku. I'm no friend of animal rights activists, but someone might want to call PETA if she's actually hammering birds into the ground with posts. Jack screws and tells, specifically about his hooking up with River to some guy named Cedric. Abby and Miley get back in town, raising the amount of lesbians on the island even further. That calls for a drink, co-host!"
Deadpool: "A toast to the lesbians of Fandom!"
Venture: "A toast! And where there's a Will, there's a butch lesbian with a butch name. Also, she gets a package. Jim wakes up Lana with a package as well. That queer queen Teddy woke up Chad from a nap, probably with something unnatural being put somewhere wrong, and told him about his so called 'field trip'. That means he's going to be cheating on you with other boys, Chad. Sorry to break it to you."
Deadpool: "No, no. Teddy's dating that Wiccan kid. Best selling."
Venture: "Hey, I was a number one selling DVD on Amazon. Your gay superheroes ever do that?"
Deadpool: "If they had a DVD sure! Wait. Did you just break the fourth wall? I'm the only one allowed to do that! And occasionally Shulkie! But mostly me!"
Venture: "I blame hanging out with you. Anyways, Jack, being a boy after my own heart, checks out Isabel and makes plans with her. You dog, you. And speaking of dogs, Parker is a big geek and utilizes an IM service."
Deadpool: "She tried to take my picture once. I felt violated. And not in a good way."
Town
Venture: "You? Violated? That's a good one. Rose and Annette talked at the Perk, Cafe Fina is trying to sell seaweed as gourmet food, Moist opened the Post Office, and Annette came in to ship sex toys?"
Deadpool: "...I think it's best I don't comment on that one."
Venture: "His royal gayness Teddy enjoys chocolate and opens Sparky's, the hot nun enjoys robots and jelly, Hannelore enjoys the tub, and Jane at Turtle and Canary enjoys just opening her shop. Butch Sun and the Whipped-Dance Crichton went to go see some horrible movie. With a theater full of Jamies. Huh."
Deadpool: "SET IT ON FIRE! NOW! QUICKLY PEOPLE! BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!"
Venture: "Stripper girl is apparently now hooker girl, as she's walking the park for tricks. John Conner invites her to a beach party, Aiden chats but wants no sex, and then our stripper-hooker gets harassed by the old hippie. I actually might pity the poor girl. Might."
Deadpool: "Candy, it's okay. Rosette is the patron saint of strippers, she'll help you out."
Venture: "And hey, that John kid actually threw a party. Billy arrives and John brags about having Krackel bits. I hope that isn't what he calls his red-flag bits. The stripper brought her own weiners. That speaks for itself. John is hungry for something, possibly food, possibly Stripper girl. Possibly even both. Billy asks her how she enjoyed the flood, and then Billy and John harass the nun and not in a good way.
Deadpool: "Billy? This is me officially threatening your life if you ever touch that nun. Ever. I'll cut off whatever touches her. Got it? Good. Over at the clinic this morning Dr Troy aired out the fishy smell and then Annette showed up to play with him. Pervert senses tingling!"
Venture: "I think we might have a winner for biggest perv on the island. And it isn't me."
Deadpool: "A NINJA was there that evening. Caritas had no drinking sea horses tonight, which is sad. It's like that poor Trix rabbit. Just give him the damn food!"
Venture: "Silly co-host, tricks are for hookers."
Deadpool: "Then maybe we should get him a hooker."
Venture: "So then, if you want to contribute to our special 'get the Trix rabbit a hooker' fund, just find me outside my lousy mud-filled lab and give me some money. As it stands, this was Deadpool and Dr. Venture, and we're bidding you a goodnight."
[ooc: And to those who read the earlier version and were offended, my apologies. Since Venture and Deadpool's radio normally seems most well received when they go over the top with their sexual banter, it always seems like we need to up the ante. Obviously, I went too far last night. My humblest of apologies again.]
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