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fandom_radio2006-09-02 03:01 am
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Friday Night, September 1, 2006
DAWN: Good evening, Fandom. This is Dawn, and I'm here with Bel, and we're here to update you on this singularly depressing Friday. Is it too much to ask that people stop leaving town? And then getting stuck wherever they're going?
Er, hypothetically speaking.
BEL: Yeah, it has been a pretty depressing day. We could always tie them up and stuff them in a closet or something. . . .
DAWN: Oooh, like what happened to Seely, according to his broadcast. And I thought it was just Angel who liked...not that I ever read...*clears throat* Maybe we could make it a fad? I could think of one or two people...or maybe not. *clearing throat again* Is there water? Anyway...
BEL: *long pause, as if there's a demon imagining a naked vampire or a naked vampire look-a-like in a closet* Right. Anyway. Where do we start?
DORMS OF EMO
DAWN: Let's start in the salle, where Zuko was throwing fire. And it says here Ray has a deathwish? Okay, I added that part, because what it really says is that he annoyed the guy throwing fire, and that's the only explanation I can think of that makes sense. Seriously, Ray, there's got to be less painful ways. Then, there's the Fourth Floor Common Room School of Yoga, as taught by Blair...and I think I need a flowchart. Okay. Now...Blair teaches yoga to the twins, who talk to Walter,who chats with Blair about Pippi and how they didn't blow anything up yesterday--and is that a good thing? I can't tell yet--Lyra learns yoga and meets Walter.
BEL: Blair also teaches Naomi to do yoga, and maybe this is his new way to pick up chicks. Setsuna joins in the bendy fun, and her mad skills make Blair jealous. The twins greet Setsuan, and then Nadia's trying to demonstrate her flexibility as well. Then, oh! Luke shows up and meets Blair. I was beginning to think he didn't exist. He's my Little Brother, which Blair told him. Blair, if you brought up mimes I'm going to have to kill you, you know. Anyway, I would just like to say that if anyone is in touch with Anakin, tell him his little brother here is in good hands. *evil laughter*
DAWN: *glares very loudly* I thought you were good now?
BEL: I am!!! I'm not gonna hurt him or anything. Just . . . guide him.
DAWN: Guiding him like guiding him into a life of evil and destruction, or like showing him where the Perk is?
BEL: Guiding him like . . . showing him how to have a good time. How to pick up girls. That kind of stuff. Really.
DAWN: Phoebe? Start saving bail money.
BEL: It'll be great! Really! Anyway. The notes go on to say that Luke and Broots were "dorktastic" at each other, and I hope that's not a metaphor. Also, Nadia tells Broots about her personal yoga style, the monster muffin style.
DAWN: I'm sooooo not gonna ask. Moving on to the Fifth Floor Common Room, which is much less full of yoga and more of eggy goodness courtesy of Lyra. Lyra and Pan meet River and Berthold, and Berthold's just having a busy day, because he meets Blair, and then there's you. Who met a daemon, that's ay-ee, not just ee, folks, so it doesn't need to be vanquished. And oh my god, you threatened River? What the heck is wrong with you? You need a sponsor. And then, after the threats, you chatted with Cally. As you do.
BEL: I didn't threaten her! I . . . warned her.
DAWN: Like she doesn't have enough potential issues, living with Buffy? Er, not that this Buffy would be anything but perfectly wonderful...
BEL: I just told her it wouldn't be smart for her to try to read my mind. Which she then tried to do.
DAWN: Maybe it was an accident?
BEL: Better have been. I don't want anyone crawling through my head.
DAWN: Who does? So, getting back on track for a second, Lyra and Cally talk about home, Dean Winchester, who, for the sake of argument I'm going to call Cute!Dean, not that the other Dean isn't cute because he is, except that he looks just like Sam, who is also cute...and, um, let's just stick with Dean Winchester...isn't there rum in here somewhere?...um, so Dean finds out Buffy is back.
BEL: *sound of liquid pouring* Right here. Have some.
DAWN: Thank you. *sounds of drinking* So, he tells her all about this summer, and he looks for Layla and finds Dean Forrester instead, and then Dean Forrester meets Buffy, and if you could stop by my room tomorrow, Buffy, I have no idea what to wear to meet my ex boyfriend's father. Denim?
BEL: On the third floor, Angela is looking for booze. She can't have ours. Alanna doesn't seem to think there's anything particularly odd about this. Nadia, however, is concerned and talks to Alanna and Al. Geez, what's the problem, she just wants a drink! Okay, and here we start getting tongue-twistery. Alec talks to Alanna and flirts with Angela, then Al and Angela talk. Angela tells Gwynn it's good to be single, and . . . wow. Dude. I'm sorry, Marty. Had no idea. So, um, anyway, Joxer hides from Agnes, and up on the roof, Seras talks to Nadia.
DAWN: Wait, what? I don't think I know Marty, but you can borrow my frying pan if you need it, Angela. In other news, Phoebe double checks to make sure Mac isn't trying to steal you, I assume from her, John and Aeryn are avoiding each other,
BEL: I can't help it that I'm so irresistible.
DAWN: Must be that demon charm that I hear so much about. So, Pippi and Pip took her boat out, Cam and Marty are grumpy at each other, and Nadia pesters Marty. Then there's Angela, who was all seductive at Marty, so I guess we don't need to worry there? And then Xander leaves and no, I'm ignoring that sentence completely. He didn't leave for good--he's just on...vacation. Or taking a breather. *drinks more rum* Ew. Bridge, you know where I am. In happier news, Buffy is back, and wow, these notes should be chronological. Sorry if I spoiled that for anyone.
BEL: Tell me about it. Now it says that Angela got bit by a gremlin. Some guy named Teddy teaches Agnes about comic books, and Will joins them. Gremlin-bit Angela visits Isabel, and so does Greg. Anders comes by to cheer up Bridge. Rory is there and suggests an adventure. I've been on a Bridge Adventure. They're fun.
DAWN: This one? A little bloodier than I like, personally.
BEL: And in other news, Parker pisses off Aeryn, Walter is reading, Rory meets my new Little Brother, who meets the new Ethics teacher and runs like a girl. Oh, this will not do. I'll teach him to be made of tougher stuff.
DAWN: Maybe he's into track.
BEL: I think I'm gonna have to put him through Spine Building 101.
DAWN: Luke? I don't know you, I've never met you, but I'm in 328 if you need help.
TOWN, WHERE THERE'S EVEN MORE PEOPLE TALKING
DAWN: Caritas was quiet, as was the clinic this morning, but Dr. Reid had things get a little busy when we brought the unconscious girl who fell out of a door on the sixth floor of the dorms in.
BEL: Beating her up already, huh?
DAWN: No, she, er, came that way.
BEL: They're shipping them to us pre-wounded now? Saves time, I guess.
DAWN: Not funny.
BEL: Have another drink and it will be?
DAWN: Oh, ha ha. You can't hear me sticking my tongue out, Fandom, but it is well and truly stuck.
BEL: You're no fun when you're mopey. *pause* Err, Veronica didn't give you a taser, did she?
DAWN: *laughing* That would take all the fun out of it.
BEL: She was giving them out like candy, or so I heard. Anyway, oh look, Buffy's back. Kaylee's running Empire Music and helps Lyra find some music, and Pete is confused by what they sell there. Meanwhile, over at Mauvaise Chance, Wilson and Phale have an impromtu party. Abby drops in, as does Ellie, who talks to Wilson, Phale, and Abby. Other visitors include Jesse, Elliot, The Doctor, Janice, and Susan.And apparently there is cake batter involved. Kinky!
DAWN: I don't think I need to know about one of my professors and cake batter. What people like to do in the privacy of their own homes and all of that ...Willow goes book collecting at Giles's shop, yeah, big surprise there, Then goes looking for teaching aids. Then Lavender drops by for Lana, and they go out for pizza. And you and Zuko had a pissing match with fire, and oh my god, doesn't that burn? Is it like that all the time? And, um, Yondaime stops by to watch. But no, seriously. Is that all the time? Because maybe there's a spell or some medicine or something.
BEL: We were just measuring each other up!
DAWN: Like, with rulers? Because I remember Becky said...
BEL: We didn't actually use rulers, we just kinda eyeballed it. Wanted to see how far we could go.
DAWN: Boys are so weird. Like Blair, whose trash bag poncho made Shawn very double-you-you-tee-effy. Not that girls are much better. Poor gremlin-bitten Angela tried to buy beer at All and Sundries, Blair met John Constantine in the park, and Cafe Fina is open.
BEL: And this just in! Dr. Janice runs into Callisto and apparently someone has a bright future as a homicidal warlord. Color me not surprised.
DAWN: Oh. That's...probably not good.
BEL: Yeah, I wonder how Angel will feel about that. Anyway, meanwhile, over at the Devil's Nest, D'Anna throws a party. Shawn is there, and Jack and D'Anna plan to dance. Jack flirts with Sam. Jack also tries to get Ray to dance, while D'Anna hugs Ray. Jack, social butterfly that he is, also meets Lana and Shawn.
DAWN: Dancing would have been fun. Maybe next time.
WHAT THE STAFF DOES WITH THEIR DAY
DAWN: Today was all about office hours. Pippi showed up in Principal Washburn's office, and Rory, Jake, and that obnoxious Krycek guy show up in Logan's.
BEL: So what's left? *sound of rustling notes* Oh, the basketball game was called on account of lava. I think that's it.
DAWN: *checks notes* Wait, don't we have to talk about the other emo bomb? Didn't Callisto leave today?
BEL: Oh, yeah, I guess she did.
DAWN: And it made many people very sad! *sounds of poking*
BEL: What? Do I have to read this? Can't I just speculate on Veronica and Archie's sexual escapades in Paris instead, now that she can't taser me if I do?
DAWN: I bet she could figure out a way to taser you through the mail. She struck me as very resourceful that way. Just saying.
BEL: Huh. I better be careful opening my mail in that case. Oh, all right. Cal's leaving. Boo hoo. Jake thinks she should send an army to LA. Jaye clings to her leg. Anders delivers cupcakes and Marty delivers a picture. Cally admires her, Cam promises to wear a skirt for her, John wants to go on a road tour, and Aeryn says no to the girlkissy. You want the rest of these? I'm getting verklempt.
DAWN: Be nice. So, finally, Parker wants to go with Callisto, Bridge agrees to take Cam-Mollusc, Rory wants to block Callisto in her room with an inflatable raft, okay, interesting approach there, Alanna demands that Callisto stay,, awww, Kawalsky tells her to invent hockey, and don't we have hockey...oh, I see...D'anna says goodbye too, and Seely puts his life at risk to stop by and say goodbye.
DAWN: *pause* Do you think the deathwish goes with the hair?
BEL: He stopped by after she stripped him naked and knocked him out in a closet? Very brave, or very stupid.
DAWN: Maybe he just likes it...oh, hey, full circle!
BEL: Huh. We start with Angel naked in a closet, and . . . SEELY. I mean SEELY.
DAWN: Now I have to go scrub my brain! Thanks so much for that, Bel. Ewwwww.
BEL: Yeah, uh, me too. We should wrap this up so we can go home and, um, scrub.
DAWN: And on that note, we're done! Happy scrubbing, Fandom!
BEL (solemnly): Happy scrubbing.
Er, hypothetically speaking.
BEL: Yeah, it has been a pretty depressing day. We could always tie them up and stuff them in a closet or something. . . .
DAWN: Oooh, like what happened to Seely, according to his broadcast. And I thought it was just Angel who liked...not that I ever read...*clears throat* Maybe we could make it a fad? I could think of one or two people...or maybe not. *clearing throat again* Is there water? Anyway...
BEL: *long pause, as if there's a demon imagining a naked vampire or a naked vampire look-a-like in a closet* Right. Anyway. Where do we start?
DORMS OF EMO
DAWN: Let's start in the salle, where Zuko was throwing fire. And it says here Ray has a deathwish? Okay, I added that part, because what it really says is that he annoyed the guy throwing fire, and that's the only explanation I can think of that makes sense. Seriously, Ray, there's got to be less painful ways. Then, there's the Fourth Floor Common Room School of Yoga, as taught by Blair...and I think I need a flowchart. Okay. Now...Blair teaches yoga to the twins, who talk to Walter,who chats with Blair about Pippi and how they didn't blow anything up yesterday--and is that a good thing? I can't tell yet--Lyra learns yoga and meets Walter.
BEL: Blair also teaches Naomi to do yoga, and maybe this is his new way to pick up chicks. Setsuna joins in the bendy fun, and her mad skills make Blair jealous. The twins greet Setsuan, and then Nadia's trying to demonstrate her flexibility as well. Then, oh! Luke shows up and meets Blair. I was beginning to think he didn't exist. He's my Little Brother, which Blair told him. Blair, if you brought up mimes I'm going to have to kill you, you know. Anyway, I would just like to say that if anyone is in touch with Anakin, tell him his little brother here is in good hands. *evil laughter*
DAWN: *glares very loudly* I thought you were good now?
BEL: I am!!! I'm not gonna hurt him or anything. Just . . . guide him.
DAWN: Guiding him like guiding him into a life of evil and destruction, or like showing him where the Perk is?
BEL: Guiding him like . . . showing him how to have a good time. How to pick up girls. That kind of stuff. Really.
DAWN: Phoebe? Start saving bail money.
BEL: It'll be great! Really! Anyway. The notes go on to say that Luke and Broots were "dorktastic" at each other, and I hope that's not a metaphor. Also, Nadia tells Broots about her personal yoga style, the monster muffin style.
DAWN: I'm sooooo not gonna ask. Moving on to the Fifth Floor Common Room, which is much less full of yoga and more of eggy goodness courtesy of Lyra. Lyra and Pan meet River and Berthold, and Berthold's just having a busy day, because he meets Blair, and then there's you. Who met a daemon, that's ay-ee, not just ee, folks, so it doesn't need to be vanquished. And oh my god, you threatened River? What the heck is wrong with you? You need a sponsor. And then, after the threats, you chatted with Cally. As you do.
BEL: I didn't threaten her! I . . . warned her.
DAWN: Like she doesn't have enough potential issues, living with Buffy? Er, not that this Buffy would be anything but perfectly wonderful...
BEL: I just told her it wouldn't be smart for her to try to read my mind. Which she then tried to do.
DAWN: Maybe it was an accident?
BEL: Better have been. I don't want anyone crawling through my head.
DAWN: Who does? So, getting back on track for a second, Lyra and Cally talk about home, Dean Winchester, who, for the sake of argument I'm going to call Cute!Dean, not that the other Dean isn't cute because he is, except that he looks just like Sam, who is also cute...and, um, let's just stick with Dean Winchester...isn't there rum in here somewhere?...um, so Dean finds out Buffy is back.
BEL: *sound of liquid pouring* Right here. Have some.
DAWN: Thank you. *sounds of drinking* So, he tells her all about this summer, and he looks for Layla and finds Dean Forrester instead, and then Dean Forrester meets Buffy, and if you could stop by my room tomorrow, Buffy, I have no idea what to wear to meet my ex boyfriend's father. Denim?
BEL: On the third floor, Angela is looking for booze. She can't have ours. Alanna doesn't seem to think there's anything particularly odd about this. Nadia, however, is concerned and talks to Alanna and Al. Geez, what's the problem, she just wants a drink! Okay, and here we start getting tongue-twistery. Alec talks to Alanna and flirts with Angela, then Al and Angela talk. Angela tells Gwynn it's good to be single, and . . . wow. Dude. I'm sorry, Marty. Had no idea. So, um, anyway, Joxer hides from Agnes, and up on the roof, Seras talks to Nadia.
DAWN: Wait, what? I don't think I know Marty, but you can borrow my frying pan if you need it, Angela. In other news, Phoebe double checks to make sure Mac isn't trying to steal you, I assume from her, John and Aeryn are avoiding each other,
BEL: I can't help it that I'm so irresistible.
DAWN: Must be that demon charm that I hear so much about. So, Pippi and Pip took her boat out, Cam and Marty are grumpy at each other, and Nadia pesters Marty. Then there's Angela, who was all seductive at Marty, so I guess we don't need to worry there? And then Xander leaves and no, I'm ignoring that sentence completely. He didn't leave for good--he's just on...vacation. Or taking a breather. *drinks more rum* Ew. Bridge, you know where I am. In happier news, Buffy is back, and wow, these notes should be chronological. Sorry if I spoiled that for anyone.
BEL: Tell me about it. Now it says that Angela got bit by a gremlin. Some guy named Teddy teaches Agnes about comic books, and Will joins them. Gremlin-bit Angela visits Isabel, and so does Greg. Anders comes by to cheer up Bridge. Rory is there and suggests an adventure. I've been on a Bridge Adventure. They're fun.
DAWN: This one? A little bloodier than I like, personally.
BEL: And in other news, Parker pisses off Aeryn, Walter is reading, Rory meets my new Little Brother, who meets the new Ethics teacher and runs like a girl. Oh, this will not do. I'll teach him to be made of tougher stuff.
DAWN: Maybe he's into track.
BEL: I think I'm gonna have to put him through Spine Building 101.
DAWN: Luke? I don't know you, I've never met you, but I'm in 328 if you need help.
TOWN, WHERE THERE'S EVEN MORE PEOPLE TALKING
DAWN: Caritas was quiet, as was the clinic this morning, but Dr. Reid had things get a little busy when we brought the unconscious girl who fell out of a door on the sixth floor of the dorms in.
BEL: Beating her up already, huh?
DAWN: No, she, er, came that way.
BEL: They're shipping them to us pre-wounded now? Saves time, I guess.
DAWN: Not funny.
BEL: Have another drink and it will be?
DAWN: Oh, ha ha. You can't hear me sticking my tongue out, Fandom, but it is well and truly stuck.
BEL: You're no fun when you're mopey. *pause* Err, Veronica didn't give you a taser, did she?
DAWN: *laughing* That would take all the fun out of it.
BEL: She was giving them out like candy, or so I heard. Anyway, oh look, Buffy's back. Kaylee's running Empire Music and helps Lyra find some music, and Pete is confused by what they sell there. Meanwhile, over at Mauvaise Chance, Wilson and Phale have an impromtu party. Abby drops in, as does Ellie, who talks to Wilson, Phale, and Abby. Other visitors include Jesse, Elliot, The Doctor, Janice, and Susan.And apparently there is cake batter involved. Kinky!
DAWN: I don't think I need to know about one of my professors and cake batter. What people like to do in the privacy of their own homes and all of that ...Willow goes book collecting at Giles's shop, yeah, big surprise there, Then goes looking for teaching aids. Then Lavender drops by for Lana, and they go out for pizza. And you and Zuko had a pissing match with fire, and oh my god, doesn't that burn? Is it like that all the time? And, um, Yondaime stops by to watch. But no, seriously. Is that all the time? Because maybe there's a spell or some medicine or something.
BEL: We were just measuring each other up!
DAWN: Like, with rulers? Because I remember Becky said...
BEL: We didn't actually use rulers, we just kinda eyeballed it. Wanted to see how far we could go.
DAWN: Boys are so weird. Like Blair, whose trash bag poncho made Shawn very double-you-you-tee-effy. Not that girls are much better. Poor gremlin-bitten Angela tried to buy beer at All and Sundries, Blair met John Constantine in the park, and Cafe Fina is open.
BEL: And this just in! Dr. Janice runs into Callisto and apparently someone has a bright future as a homicidal warlord. Color me not surprised.
DAWN: Oh. That's...probably not good.
BEL: Yeah, I wonder how Angel will feel about that. Anyway, meanwhile, over at the Devil's Nest, D'Anna throws a party. Shawn is there, and Jack and D'Anna plan to dance. Jack flirts with Sam. Jack also tries to get Ray to dance, while D'Anna hugs Ray. Jack, social butterfly that he is, also meets Lana and Shawn.
DAWN: Dancing would have been fun. Maybe next time.
WHAT THE STAFF DOES WITH THEIR DAY
DAWN: Today was all about office hours. Pippi showed up in Principal Washburn's office, and Rory, Jake, and that obnoxious Krycek guy show up in Logan's.
BEL: So what's left? *sound of rustling notes* Oh, the basketball game was called on account of lava. I think that's it.
DAWN: *checks notes* Wait, don't we have to talk about the other emo bomb? Didn't Callisto leave today?
BEL: Oh, yeah, I guess she did.
DAWN: And it made many people very sad! *sounds of poking*
BEL: What? Do I have to read this? Can't I just speculate on Veronica and Archie's sexual escapades in Paris instead, now that she can't taser me if I do?
DAWN: I bet she could figure out a way to taser you through the mail. She struck me as very resourceful that way. Just saying.
BEL: Huh. I better be careful opening my mail in that case. Oh, all right. Cal's leaving. Boo hoo. Jake thinks she should send an army to LA. Jaye clings to her leg. Anders delivers cupcakes and Marty delivers a picture. Cally admires her, Cam promises to wear a skirt for her, John wants to go on a road tour, and Aeryn says no to the girlkissy. You want the rest of these? I'm getting verklempt.
DAWN: Be nice. So, finally, Parker wants to go with Callisto, Bridge agrees to take Cam-Mollusc, Rory wants to block Callisto in her room with an inflatable raft, okay, interesting approach there, Alanna demands that Callisto stay,, awww, Kawalsky tells her to invent hockey, and don't we have hockey...oh, I see...D'anna says goodbye too, and Seely puts his life at risk to stop by and say goodbye.
DAWN: *pause* Do you think the deathwish goes with the hair?
BEL: He stopped by after she stripped him naked and knocked him out in a closet? Very brave, or very stupid.
DAWN: Maybe he just likes it...oh, hey, full circle!
BEL: Huh. We start with Angel naked in a closet, and . . . SEELY. I mean SEELY.
DAWN: Now I have to go scrub my brain! Thanks so much for that, Bel. Ewwwww.
BEL: Yeah, uh, me too. We should wrap this up so we can go home and, um, scrub.
DAWN: And on that note, we're done! Happy scrubbing, Fandom!
BEL (solemnly): Happy scrubbing.