[identity profile] t-servo.livejournal.com
Servo: "Holy hamdingers, Ash-man, I think we finally got the system to broadcast."

Ash: "Ha! Gimme that other microphone, gumball-baby, and why don't we get this show on the road, huh?"

Servo: "Yes, your magnificent chin-ness. Right away."

There is a slight pause before a trumpet fanfare... distinctly out of tune.

Ash: "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! This is former Coach Ash, along with my shiny red buddy Tom Servo, bringing you a very special radio broadcast from the Satellite of Love."

Servo: "Well, hey, why don't we start with the stuff that nobody cares about, huh? You guessed it, classes. So, there was Advanced Criminal Just-as-boring-as-ever, Music to Fall Asleep in Class To, Political Complaining-Won't-Make-It-Less-Dull-Even-With-A-Guest-Speaker, Chemis-try-harder-and-it-might-be-fun, Languages and Creature Languages both are equally sucktacular."

Ash: "And coming round second, there's Speech classes, for which I apologize to all the students that they have to deal with that old crazy CJ. Ha! Just kidding... or am I? Anyhows, Doc Griss covers sex cultures, which obviously needs to cover me, as my sex life is a culture unto itself, baby. The Jung and the Restless covers dreams, which is probably why everyone was sleeping through it, and ditto goes for Psychology. History of Who-The-Hell-Cares watched a movie, Arthurian Traditions has a test, how sad for you, and a big ole the Teacher doesn't care day for business classes. I'm almost grateful to be stuck in space, a report like that."

Servo: "Yeah, and things don't get any better going onto the various machinations of you idiots not involving classes. Artie opens Caritas, and somehow this is newsworthy. Dear god you people lead boring lives. Crichton is a sexual disease, according to these notes, and Mr. John STD talked to Anders about... hooo mama! Stirrup sex with his girlfriend Cally. How about you leave those conversations for behind closed doors, pal. Not that I don't appreciate the mental imagery and all, but people were trying to eat around you at the time, you know?"

Ash: "And continuing the lunchroom debauchery, the notes indicate a Walter, Pippi, and Victor threesome. Kids, I don't know who you are, but if you're having sex in the lunchroom, you should at least wait until ice cream sundae day, and you can quote the King on that. Sheesh."

Servo: "And while people were deflowering each other in the lunch room, Veronica and Lilly scored themselves some floral goods of their own. But not from each other. I'm sure they're just friends, Bow-chicka-Wow-wow."

Ash: "Isabel was cranky, probably PMSing, and Cam Mitchell made the mistake of talking to PMS girl."

Servo: "Oh Crunch, how stupid can you be? At least I hope not stupid enough to be behind the assinine Pick a Theme ballots posted in the dorms, which is totally pointless. The best theme is always underpants. Lots and lots of underpants."

Ash: "Oh look, Tex is mayor and arguing with people. I am unsurprised at her arguing, but terrified that you folks let her get into a position of power. She may be pretty, but she's cold as ice, knuckleheads. And... Doc Griss has graphic, graphic, sex with the Ice Queen. Hey, maybe some red hot lovin' would melt her a bit. Good goin', Doc. Oh, hey, Doctor Carter is off in a galaxy far, far away... Hey, if you hear this, would you mind swingin' by the Sattelite? I could us a visit of the conjugal type, baby."

Servo: "Now that I'm already feeling the need to vomit, I bring you news that Zordon plays with mud. Nadia falls asleep after something about Artie and Marty. Hopefully that something doesn't involve rhyming-name man love. Even though I'm sure all the girls just love the concept of boykissing. Blech."

Ash: "Speaking of kissing, apparently Geoff kisses Paige goodbye, as the guy took off for greener pastures or something. Speaking of green, Rory opened the library, Parker delivers photos, Blair looks for medical books, Angela and Rory talk about tripping, probably in the drug sense, and Peter--"

Servo: "Peter, Pumpkin-Eater talks to Rory-Whorey-Banana-Fanna-Fo-Forey and the Newspaper meets to discuss the next issue of their litter box liner. Marty ate some special brownies, and that's special in the Mary Jane sense, not the rides the short bus sense."

Ash: "Ha! As if brownies ride buses. Pippi visits Sparky Repairs, Nadia runs into the post-brownie Marty, and Marty asks Giles to sniff his pine tree."

Servo: "Okay, now that's just sick. I'm skipping on to the point where Pippi recieves a proposal from Freud Edmund Blackadder or something. These notes are confusing, and I have no idea who the hell either of those skeezewads are. I'm sure you folks do. You should wish them many happy returns. And then, as if he wasn't in enough of an altered state of insanity already, Marty purchases some pot."

Ash: "That's a pot for his plant, you clear-domed knucklehead. At the emergency clinic, Trevor is all alone, Phoebe talks to Doctor Not Belthazor--"

Servo: "Doctor Not Belthazor? What kind of evil parents do you have to have to get saddled with a name like that? Ouch. Seriously... ouch. Speaking of ouch, Blair stopped in to the clinic. Though he apparently was physically not ouchie. Who knows?"

Ash: "Veronica visited Susan, probably to talk about Veronica's nymphomania. She slept with any girls in a dark alley recently? And if so, can someone mail me a video copy? Oh, on the subject of sleeping, Cally and Angel wake up together. Wait, I thought Cally was with that Anders moron? Maybe Veronica's nymphomania is spreading?"

Servo: "Learn to read, Captain Chins-a-lot. Callisto woke up with Angel."

Ash: "Oh, right, big thighs. How could I forget?"

Servo: "Because you have a small raisin for a brain, that's how. Anyways, Veronica and Piper met up, as do Doug Somebody and that Angel guy, Aeryn bumps into Crunch Buttsteak, and much grinding commenced."

Ash: "Only in your imagination, you beautiful pervy robot, you. Belthazor made a list, checked it twice, and probably sure as hell knows who is naughty or nice. Nadia insomniacs it up on the fifth floor, and Blair is very happy about everything. And that's happy in the sense of having an erection, folks. Come on, a good kid should be able to get someone to take care of that real fast, shouldn't he?"

Servo: "On a subject not involving massive hard-ons, at least dear god I hope so, Lana talked to Isabel, and so does Janet, and Xander. Okay, maybe if it was Xander, I might be able to... oh my gods, the mental pictures, Ahhhhhh!"

Ash: "Well, there is definitely none of that going on with Al and Ed, who are all brotherly today. So there is definitely NONE OF THAT FORMER SUBJECT." There is a short cough. "Alanna flees for her life, Angel waits for Logan, Cam Mitchell and Molly have some surrogate sibling happy time, Pippi wakes Nadia up, and Lana reads something."

Servo: "Xander orders something for Jaye. My guess is a sex toy. Or underpants. Speaking of underpants, Park-your-stuff-in-the-no-loading-zone got a visit from Wee Lee Adama. Aeryn Sun-of-a-female-dog got a visit from John STD, Angela Chase-Away-The-Bad-Men falls into the lure of the special brownies, and Parker-Marker-Pudding-And-Pie visted Bridge-Over-Troubled-Waters."

Ash: "That just about wraps it up for us, you unfortunate suckers. Last news items we got here are that the second floor common room nearly explodes with activity."

Servo: "Activity involving Zero-My-Hero in nothing but a towel. Oh, and Super-Cally-Frajalistic and Anders-Panders discuss stirrups, syrups, and the internet. Hot."

Ash: "And one last bit just in, Lyta is crashed out in the third floor common room. Guess she likes to hear loud obnoxious noises from beneath her."

Servo: "All the news thats fit to announce, and a lot of stuff that wasn't even that. Alright you dickweeds, this is Tom Servo--"

Ash: "And Ash, signing off from the Satellite of Love. Don't miss us. Cause we sure as hell don't miss any of you."

Servo: "Push the button, Ashley."

Ash: "Shut your pie-hole, Domey."

*pop-fizz*
[identity profile] t-servo.livejournal.com
Bow before me, sons of Jor-El. Kneel before Zod! This is Tom Servo, your spicy red-hot hunk of love, bringing you the news of Fandom over the airwaves with my lucious, sexy voice, which of course emanates from my equally lucious, sexy robot body.

*laughter*

The birds and the bees, Flowers and the trees, or in other words, the hot crazy monkey love.

Marty and Angela eat each other out. Huh. Didn't think it was possible for a girl to... Oh, excuse me, they're eating out with each other at a restaraunt, yes. That's much better. I was worried that Marty was having serious gender-bender issues. Like that time Mike became Carol Channing. Excuse me while I go vomit into a bucket just remembering that, dear God in heaven.

And other red hot eating action occurs over at Luke's Diner, with Lane and Boone having a nice romantic dinner, yes. I highly recommend Luke's fine hamburger sandwich and the french fried potato garnish. It always makes me go numnumnumnumnumnumnum whenever I eat it, let me tell you.

And yet MORE couple eating action between Kry-about-spilled-Milk-cek and Jake Gav-enough-of-a-man-to-take-it-like-one have a meal at Deb's.

In the category of not getting it on, we have Cameron-Mitchell-Who-Used-to-be-Crunch-Buttsteak-but-Now-IS-A-Wolf-Puppy and Vala. Because interspecies breeding of this sort? Ewwwwwwww. Servo gives that a big tiny white useless thumb down, kids.

Also, Draco Malfoynctioning, due to his recent Malfoynction of the ginger kid kind, is not allowed to kiss Lily. Remember Lily, Gingers don't have souls.

But in the case of hot, steamy, my diodes are all aflutter action? Headripper Sun and John-John Cri-home-to-his-mommy-chton were getting some sweet sweet loving in today. Maybe soon we will see little Headripper babies? Oh how cute!

Now, as sands through the hour glass, so churn slowly the minutes of each class. And the Days of Our Lives, or something.

Criminal Justice announced a Round Table discussion with some heroes of some such is upcoming. Personally, I'd prefer to hear them talk about square tables. Or maybe multiplication tables. Or... Oval tables, even. Round tables are SO classic Celtic MYthology, you know.

Speaking of classic, in the old sense of the word, CJ hosted her usual compliment of Speech classes. Also old, Languages of Europe, History of the Ancient World and Asia and stuff, Greco-Roman Boring Crap, and Arthurian Traditions involving naked Puritan People. Also very old. But possibly not as old as CJ. Somewhere, I think the order of old is listed at God, dirt, and then CJ.

Showing how much a goddam evil slavedriver she is, A poor AI-blessed Toaster is exploited by that demento Tara. Show some respect for your betters, woman!

Shop Class escapes from a mine! Biology cancelled! Band is a-practicing! Music be a rockin', so don't come a knockin'!

Spider be soliciting something or other or blah. I don't really care much. Journalism is for wussies. Guerilla journalism is for people like Grape Ape and Magilla Gorilla.

Crimeys-this-isn't-interesting-inology has projects or something. Abnormal Psych smacks down the law, completely unlike the teacher's total refusal to lack a nice wet smacker on cute little ole Servo this past weekend. The beautiful tease.

Quantum Physics is often abbreviated as "QP". Today, I would call it "TP", because I would wipe my shiny metal ass with it... if I had a shiny metal ass.

And, yeah, same sentiments for Small Business and Linguistics. Yawn city. I'd rather sit through the driving sequences of Manos than sit through those classes.

What I would sit through, if I had the chance? Pageant Rehearsal. Sounds like the pageant will be more fun then trying to stuff four sumo wrestlers into a Volkswagon Beetle.

Study Hall was all crazy mad with the activity today. Paige vs. Phoebe almost broke out. I figure Phoebe for a hair puller and Paige for a screeching slapper myself. Big McHugeLarge vs. John-John, and my money is on McHugeLarge. Except they don't fight, and I swear those kids would probably be more likely to get in each other's pants than into a fistfight.

And with that thought, I'll pause so all the women can go change their underwear. If you're a fan of the show, you can always send those my way, if you like. Wash them first, though. If I get dirty underwear in the mail, my red metal flesh will crawl.

Big also talks with Malfoynctioning. Infections of Jazz Hands spread. So-low and Bag o' Ass have a little lover spat in public. The Boone-inator calls Maia "White trash". Arkansas called, Boone. They resent that.

In the wonderful world of the Library, Dewey Finn is not to be seen, but Dewey Decimal certainly is!

The major news? Wesley Wynd... Whatever his pompous last name is, well, he's a complete idiot. Like, TV's Frank level idiot.

Angel chatted with Parker about souls. How creepy and bizzaro.

And now all that other stuff that I only sort of care about.

Tonight there are no Deep Thoughts. Only shallow ones. Half the student body suddenly seems smarter, due to the change in the curve.

Sara Sidle sidles her way into sickness land. Marty plays with teh google. Deany baby is all about the THEE-AH-TAH! Spider has an office. Where he sits. For hours. Hence the term "Spider's Office Hours."

Two Halliwells don't make a Halli-right. Lee gives Samanthat the greatest gift of all, the gift of sex. I mean toast. Toast. Not Sex. Lee only has sex with toast. Yes. Right.

Aziraphale might as well just put up a sign that says "Advice, Five Cents." Seriously. Tonks is the only bar patron.

In special news, Veronica Mars, the women who has sex in dark alleys, has found God.

Wait, no. My notes say Gob, actually. She's probably having sex with him, too.

Caritas is the Carita-slow tonight. Duce and So-low have a chat.

Jarod and Alanna have a good ole time at Deb's. As does Shep, the amazing underoo boy!

Ben and Mike discuss some guy named Derek. Duce works! Shane thinks people care about her stupid vacation! Wonka has Holiday treats!

John Connor enjoys miniature golfing with Kiki. Kiki delivers a book to Lana! Lana bothers Underoo boy! Underoo boy... erm, sorry, the link dies there, folks.

Samantha "Too butch to have a girl's name" Carter is also too damn smart. Butch and smart, huh? Feminist hero indeed.

And in final news, CJ and Ted have a chat. Yes, that is entirely exciting. Woo. What a great note to end on. Sheesh. Skeezewad news blurb writers. I sigh, verbally.

That's it, folks. This is your slave master, signing off. Seriously, this town is chaos. How come you don't let a smart, intelligent robot be in charge of things, eh? I'd be nice. I'd give you hamdingers. And let you watch "Santa Claus vs. The Martians" for free! Every day! Okay, maybe not for free.

Goodnight everyone. This is Tom Servo, pushing the button.

*Popping Noise. Static*
[identity profile] t-servo.livejournal.com
Bow before me, sons of Jor-El. Kneel before Zod! This is Tom Servo, your spicy red-hot hunk of love, bringing you the news of Fandom over the airwaves with my lucious, sexy voice.

*laughter*

Today was a glorious day to be in love. Today was also a great day for kissing in public, and also a great day to be out of clothes, ha!

We start our sinful journey with the more innocent of lovers, CJ and the Doc had some Flirty McFlirting goin' down at Caritas tonight. Also, Chunk and his girlfriend Head Ripper were chatty and schmoopy as well. Even Doctors House and Volleyball are powerless against the schmoop epidemic. Further victims of the schmoopy disease? Liz Weird and Charlie Bucket Kawalsky. Schmoopatitis B hit Lily and Jonathan. And yet more of the schmoopies carriers include Draco Malfoy and Lily Evans, not to mention Big McHugeLarge and his darling Kara "Gigglepants" Thrace. Though those two get a little NWS Steamier after the schmoopy, so it's all good for them, heheh.

Speaking of Schmoopy, the town's resident Schmoop-experts apparently decided that with all the extra schmooping, that they would out schmoop everyone and their little dogs, too, by Feeding each other and then cuddling on the lawn. The amount of sugar has sent me into a diabetic coma, AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE INTERNAL ORGANS!

In the category beyond Schmoopy, FOURWAY HOTTUBBING! Rose "British Floozy" Tyler, Jon "Manho" Sheppard, Phoebe "Open For Anything" Halliwell, and Cole "I like Big Butts And I Cannot Lie" Turner, folks. Remember those names, for they shall go down in infamy.

Also not schmoopy? Aziraphale and Crowley. If I had skin, it would crawl at the thought of that, dear heaven and hell, what are those two up to?

And not schmoopy, but OH MY GOD DIRTY!, IF I HAD EYES I WOULD PLUCK THEM FROM MY SOCKETS, for Number Six and Wednesday Addams make out like hippos in the third floor common room. Why! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Today, being a lovely, happy, shiny, sing-song Saturday, there was no class. Except for me, cause I'm always a class act, let me tell you, folks. But seriously, there may not have been academics, but there were some of you idiots who had DUN-DUN-DUNNNNNN DETENTION. Reports state that it involved Zombies, movies without Adam West, and butt-patting. I do not make this skeeze up, folks at home.


And because of the shortage of classes, there was also a shortage of brains, and so crazy stupid-itis broke out in all the folks who weren't already suffering from the schmoopy disease, it seems. Heres the rundown:

First Aaron Boone talks to everyone and their sister.

Movie Sign Theater 3000 saw some business from a few folks today, including a guy who looks like the idiot in Say Anything and some redhead chick who were totally macking on each other, but they didn't even hit second before they realized I was watching, dammit!

Daniel Jackson, officially renamed DJ Jazzy Smurf, got decorating tips from Lana Lane, and then is stupid enough to argue with Tex about the humane treatment of ducks. But at least DJ Jazzy Smurf has the smarts to buy booze from Ben at the emporium.

Jarod talks to a Cat. This is not as weird as Jaye Tyler talking to inanimate animal toys.

Speaking of conversations with things with low IQs, Beka talked with Cole, Angelus, and Lily today, and Maia and Paige chatted, Paige and Sonia talked, Chiana and Lana, whom I just want to refer to as Chainalannadingdong, chatted on the beach, and Lisa and Alanna eat each others cookies. In a sadly non-sexual manner.

Some general goings on, with Edward, Hamlet, and John, or Winkin', Blinkin', and Stupid, hanging out in a common room. Duce was in the park. Callisto brings a half naked Ashley Williams, and HEY, IT's A REGULAR PAINT THE DRUNKEN CLOWN PARTY! WOO!


In the terms of Double-You-Tea-Eff-Mate, we have Jaye and Veronica Mars having sex in an Alley. Well, maybe not, but they were skulking, kids. Skulking leads to sex. Nobody knows what happened in that alley, so it must have been sex, kids.

Afterwards, Veronica could be seen heading to Marshall Flinkman's basement abode. Perhaps he too got a little of the Veronica hubba-hubba?

Second helping of the Dub-Tee-Eff, Volleyball and House want a hotel room with a Piano.

Third? Professor "Wild Thing" Cregg going joyriding with Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo.

And our final notes, today's episode of The Adventures of Jake and Jake concerned a certain Chloe's birthday, and Jonathan Crane enjoys being a girl.

That's it, folks. This is your slave master, signing off. If any of you wish to rub oil onto my hot roboty nipples, come to the movie theatre right now, got it? Goodnight everyone. This is Tom Servo, pushing the button.

*Popping Noise. Static*
[identity profile] t-servo.livejournal.com
*cough cough* Hello, is this thing on? Well, what do you know, it is! Hello there, you spicy meatbags. You're listening to Fandom High's premiere Pirate Radio Station, and this is Tom Servo, your new lord and master of the airwaves. Bow before me, sons of Jor-El. Kneel before Zod!

*laughter*

So, what has been going on in the world of smooches, huh? Boy, let me tell you, we had more than our fair share of kinky teenage sexcapades today!

Lilly and Draco bake, in a totally non-drug related way. And speaking of drugs, Jonathan Crane shows up And there isn’t any awkwardness at all, nope!

Flowers arrived for half the population, apparently. The other half probably cried themselves into an emocoma, feeling neglected. In other emo news, Bagoas cried about his man-lovers. I’d tell you to cheer up, kid, but I’m sure you’re giving more enjoyment to people crying than you do while happy. In other news, Coffee for the CSI UST suckers. Don’t even try and refute me on that one.

Cameron Mitchell and Vala were regular snuggle bunnies, and Phoebe and Cole are also victims of the raging epidemic of emo-itis. So do George and Jayne. Okay... can somebody tell me which of these is the girl? Cause the names are confusing. And seeing pictures makes me think one of them is an ape.

Yellow Flashy Button Alert! We’ve got commercial sign, gang!

Say Yes to Vampires )

And what does the world of Academia hold for us, children? Why, a magical land of lectures to sleep through, and behind door number three, a BRAND NEW CAR!

...okay, maybe I was kidding about the car.

Speaking of large, thick objects, The Tick's Criminal Justice class started work on projects today, the lucky devils. Ted's Music 101 is beginning a scavenger hunt. A musical scavenger hunt. It's like musical chairs, only more complicated and there isn't cake involved. Note to Ted, things are always better with cake. Mmmm, cake.

Band practice covered selecting a song. I'm available for guest vocals, kids. Give me a call and the Servo's golden voice will grace your band to the delight of folks of all ages!

On a subject I am very familiar with, Shop Class dealt with bombs! Quantum Physics covered something about non-standard spaces. Are these double-letter or triple-word score spaces?

Abnormal Psychology discusses parents. Kids, I give one tip. Accuse your parents. Then come with them to the movie theater this weekend, and watch I Accuse My Parents. Great weekend activity for the whole family!

Love is Art in Art Class, Speech covers broken friendships. Martial Arts covers, big-no-whammy-of-a-surprise, Martial Arts.

Philosopy is discussing Descartes. The biggest lesson there? Do not put Descartes in front of the De-Horse. *hearty laugh* It was Quiz Time for Bio, Obscenity rules supreme in Criminology, and Journalism was a heaping load of preparation... Preperation H, that is! *slide whistle, and a laugh*

And here's a list of the severely dull classes of the day: Greco Roman Archaeology, Linguistics, Governments, Arthurian Tradition, East Asian Something, History of the Ancient Whatever, and Starting a Small Boredom.

We've got commercial sign, so I now hit the big flashing yellow button...
Commercial: Say Yes to Celine Dion )

And coming in from that uncomfortable nugget of intestinal joy, here's your Study Hall antics report, because apparently studying in the study hall is a concept beyond you nincompoops.

Principal Connor has costumed puppies. I've only been here four days, and I'm already terrified of her! Jonathan Crane chats with Angelus, the strapping young boy-love couple will probably have heads turning in uncomfortable, neck-snapping ways soon. Bridge has Moon Shoes! If I had legs, I’d be jealous of the lucky sonuvvagun, and Marty and Callisto cover security issues.

Oh look, flashy yellow button. Commercial Sign!

Mayor Announcement )

And now, the rest of the stupid crap you idiots were up to. Seriously, you guys are dumber than TV's Frank on a bad day. That's saying something.

Spike’s is low on patrons, Crowley and Aziraphale are practially attached at the hip, and Tara has Crack. Of either the butt, cocaine, or crimefighting kind. Take your pick!

Charlie Kawalsky is like a regular Santa. Do we have any martians on campus to come harass the idiot, please?

Girl-George muses, You wouldn’t like Rory Gilmore when she’s angry, And Totally not Doctor Quinn, definitely not a Medicine Woman, has a list for her slave, Bridge. Slavery is wacky fun, kids! Somebody want to smack that Ethics teacher upside the head for me, geezes. Padme fails at life... I mean, fails at cookies. I get the two confused sometimes, silly old me, heh!

Well, this shiny, handsome robot is now thoroughly disgusted exhausted from sorting through all this paper with my tiny little arms, so, I’m signing off. Tom Servo, overlord of the airwaves, will be back in two week, and that idiot Ashley will be back next week.

Push the button, Barbossa.

*pop, and then static*

Fandom High RPG



About the Game

---       Master Game Index
---       Thinking of Joining?
---       Application Information
---       Existing Character Directory

In-Character Comms

School and Grounds
---       Fandom High School
---       Staff Lounge
---       TA Lounge
---       Student Dorms

Around the Island
---       Fandom Town
---       Fandom Clinic

Communications
---       Radio News Recaps
---       Student Newspaper
---       IC Social Media Posts

Off-Island Travel
---       FH Trips

Once Upon a Time...
---       FH Wishverse AU


Out-of-Character Comms

---       Main OOC Comm
---       Plot Development
---       OOC-but-IC Fun





Disclaimer

Fandom High is a not-for-profit text-based game/group writing exercise, featuring fictional characters and settings from a variety of creators, used without permission but for entertainment purposes only.

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