raspberryturk: (Default)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Squirrels! Hey, my old radio buddies! You guys know exactly what I want in exchange for bein' here at the asscrack of dawn, I hope.

*Sloshy!*

That's right. S'how I know I'm appreciated around here. Yo, island! This is Reno! This - *chittering* - is a pack of squirrels, and this - *sloshy* - is my very own bottle of rum. And together, we're all gonna bring you yesterday's news.

C'mon, you know you missed it, yo.

Over at the School, Kitty's Technology and You class had a question and answer period and a movie day, because really, finals are next week and who the hell wants to cover something new the week before finals anyway, right? Not me, anyway. I took my Public Service class to the ruins of an old church to check out the flowers growin' there. Next week, we might, I dunno, party or somethin'. It's hard to give a final exam on 'we built a water pipeline and filtration system all semester,' yo.

In the Dorms,, Isabelle was readin' fashion magazines in her room, as ya do. I gotta say, fashion gets way simpler when you wear the same damn thing all the time, though. Flick was doin' laps in the gym later on when Isabelle showed up there, destroyed a practice dummy with her whip, and, you know, didn't talk to Flick the whole time. I'm sensin' some tension here. Just me? Tension? Anyway, we actually got a proper salle for usin' weapons in, Isabelle, if you don't wanna run into what I'm guessin' is your ex next time.

And then, finally, there's Town, where Hatter was talkin' to himself while readin' a newspaper, probably because it makes him look important over at Cafe Fina. Tino was a bit nervous about Kenzi's choice in songs over at Caritas,, which actually sounds like fun and I might have to try it sometime. Allie turned into a vampire bat out in the preserve, which, hey, shitty luck, but at least you're a vampire bat outs- right. It's cold as balls out there. takin' that back, then, yo.

And that's everything I got to report, because I don't think 'there were some flickering lights from time to time over on Ingvar' really counts as news so much as a shitty electrical job, so I'm gonna call it a morning and, I dunno, go pretend to actually be an education professional over in my office for a few hours or something, yo. This is Reno, signin' off.
raspberryturk: (Default)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Oh, shit, it's been a while since I've been in here, yo. Liiiittle weird it's so early in the day, but I'm not gonna complain. You guys got my pay for today's broadcast?

*Sloshy!*

That's what I like to hear! Yo, Fandom! This is Reno, I'm surrounded by squirrels, and I have notes. Now let's see if I can get back into the swing of deciphering their tiny little squirrel-scratch for today, hm?

Staaaaarting with... um... School? School comes first! It was a Sunday, though, so all the notes I got are about how Evan was puttin' out informational material about the island's weird - ask me about the zombies sometime, newbies. That'll be fun - and Ichabod got some help learning how to google Wikipedia. And cats.

Sound priorities for this day and age, yo.

Over in the Dorms, Will got some e-mails, went for a run, and then got back and moped a lot. The squirrel says it probably wasn't Mother's Day, folks! I... didn't know Mother's Day was a thing. Earth holidays, yo. Whatever.

And then we got Town. Town, and this real nice dark rum the squirrels just passed me. Not because there's a lot of town notes, though. Just because they know I like dark rum. Shit, I missed these guys.

Aaanyway, Riley got a long phone call with not much talkin' involved over at the MCA. He fall asleep or somethin'? I'm gonna say he fell asleep on the phone. Elphaba wandered onto the Causeway after what is apparently like two or six years, depends where you're comin' from, and ran into Jono, who found out a bit about what she's been up to and offered her a place to crash last night if she needed it, yo.

Over at Stark Industries, Jessica was drinkin' way too much coffee. I think it was an experiment of some kind. Anyway, she didn't explode or vibrate until she lit fire or anything like that, so probably the worst that came of it was a caffeine buzz and maybe she had to piss a lot later. Flash was at the gym scopin' out the fitness classes, and outside of J,GoB, Isabelle got to talkin' to Flick about Mother's Day, and why he was so pissy about her bein' glad to come back to the island, yo.

It's a manpain thing, Isabelle. You wouldn't understand.

I think that's it for the notes, yo. So I'm gonna settle in with this rum and catch up with my old buddies, the squirrels. This is Reno, signing off!
raspberryturk: (Smoking)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Yo, Fandom! Reno here, tellin' you if you ain't looked out the window yet, I suggest you go ahead an' do that right now, yo. I mean that. Look out your window, if you got a view past the water. I'll wait.

*There's a break while the Jeopardy thinking song plays.*

How messed up is that? Am I right? It ain't just me, that place we stopped in now is more black an' white than a penguin in the dark? I mean, shit, I'd almost fit in 'cause of the suit, but the hair kinda throws that off, yo.

After the broadcast, I'm headin' across the causeway with a few cans of spraypaint, yo. Totally plannin' on messin' with the locals by makin' all the fire hydrants bright blue or somethin'.

Anyhow, I got a few notes in my hands, and I'm gonna get this over with so that I can get to that, yo. Startin' with the school, because Bod is just the kinda kid to open up the library on a weekend, yo. All was quiet in there except for the book-stealin' raccoon, who was livin' in black an' white before the island thought it was cool. Hipster raccoon, yo.

In the fifth floor common room, Bod was eatin' Thai food an' talkin' to himself. I guess there was some sad shit on TV, huh? I ain't really usually the TV-watchin' sort, so I missed it. Went to Disneyland instead. This island would be way less friggin' miserable sometimes if we all just up an' went to Disneyland when the TV programming sucks, yo. I think Kate would probably agree, since she was talkin' to Bod about how the commercials made her cry, yo.

Daaamn.

In town, Hermerner-inny was cleanin' house to the background noise of, you guessed it, the saddest television programming Fandom's ever tried to throw at us. So she asked her cat for permission to get another one, yo. See, if Crookshanks is anything like Rikku's cat Petey, he probably just bonked her hand with his head. Maybe drooled a little, yo.

At the Devil's Nest, Bo had to put up with mouse ears on her corset, yo. You know, I don't think I remember seein' somethin' like that at the park yesterday. And I was lookin', even. At the Gig, Dani was hittin' total breakdown mode around the horses. I could blame the TV, but it's more fun to say she suffered some kinda deep-rooted horse-related trauma in her youth, and it's just now comin' out to stare her down, yo.

At Fixer-Uppers, Topher was watchin' TV on his laptop. Ain't none of you people ever heard of a radio? It plays music? Don't even show you pictures of mangy dogs an' abused horses an' frogs an' platypi, even. You should all think about gettin' one in your lives for more'n just the news. I bet Hercules agrees, even. He capped off the day with a rousin' song under his tree with his friggin' lyre. Because that's how tough guys deal with sad pandas, folks.

Lyres. Get one.

An' then get some blue paint and come help me screw with people's heads. It's good for you, yo.
[identity profile] mouthy-merc.livejournal.com
Reno: Yo, Fandom! Welcome to another ‘day after the worst shit ever’ kinda Sunday on the island! The birds are... kinda scared to come out, sure. But the sky is doin’ better, and if I’m here too long and I miss out on all that fancy Disney crap, I’m gonna be irked, yo. I already had to pry my co-host off the ground, here.

Deadpool: I’m surprised the squirrels managed to get any of these notes, to be honest.

Reno: Yeah? I’d be surprised if they didn’t have some kinda special riot gear for collectin’ their dirt on this kinda thing. Little helmets. Flak jackets...

Deadpool: I’m pretty sure I tried to eat one...

Reno: Gets stuck in your teeth, man. Stick with deer next time.

Mmmm. Delicious mutated meat. )
raspberryturk: (Turks' Turf)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Yo, Fandom! Reno here on another where-the-hell-are-we-now kinda morning in Fandom, takin' advantage of the deccent weather by sittin' here in shorts and sippin' on rum. Squirrels did a bit of laughin' at the sight of me in shorts, but, what the hell. It don't feel like we're stranded in a blizzard in Icicle back home, so I'm gonna show off my skinny white chicken legs, yo.

I'd tell you to deal with it, but this is radio, so if you're complainin'? You're the one with issues, not me.

The Ginger News! )
raspberryturk: (Serious)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Well, we ain’t ponies, we ain’t other people as far as I can tell, there ain’t been no robot spiders runnin’ about, and the ladies on the mainland are still wearin’ way too much clothing, yo. This is officially the weirdest Sunday we’ve had for the summer broadcasts, yet.

Deadpool: I liked being a pony.

Reno: I learned the hard way that unicorn horns ain’t for roastin’ marshmallows with.

Deadpool: ...awwww. Was it in the microwave? Because that’s not healthy, you know.

Reno: …. Well, that explains so much, yo.

WTFH In No Way Endorses Sticking One's Head Into A Microwave. )
[identity profile] mouthy-merc.livejournal.com
Deadpool: I’m a goddamn pony, people!

Reno: Hey, now. We are goddamn ponies, people. Had to bribe the squirrels today to work all the buttons on the soundboard, because we ain’t got no friggin’ thumbs, yo.

Deadpool: Look at my tail! It’s so fluffy and adorable!

Reno: … I got a horn.

Deadpool: Maybe you could gore some stuff. Or roast a marshmallow?

Reno: Or both! If I can get a fire started, anyhow.

Deadpool: Okay, onto the news that we can read thanks to to the nice squirrels setting them up all orderly like. A round of applause for them, folks!

Too soon? Too soon.

Reno: I dunno. Listen close an’ we might hear the haunting music of a thousand coconut-shells bein’ smacked together. Let’s get to it?

IT'S MAGIC, PEOPLE. GODDAMN MAGIC. )
[identity profile] mouthy-merc.livejournal.com
Deadpool: Oh, the day after the newbies arrive! It’s like a hangover!

Reno: Speak for yourself, yo. I ain’t never been hung over from bottled water, an’ I ain’t about to start now.

Deadpool: Well, maybe you’re not drinking the right kind of water. Ever thought of that? Hmmmmm?

Reno: … Huh. Serves me right for ever changin’ my ways, yo.

Deadpool: Word.

Reno: Yo, Fandom Island! New people! Ponies! I’m Reno, an’ this guy here with me is Deadpool, and we’ll be your Sunday morning gossip. Uh. Snoops. Guys on the radio. … You know. You’re stuck with us.

Deadpool: Just think of us as the neighborhood watch who talks about your business in public and possibly adds random details for the hell of it.

Reno: Don’t worry. The random details are way more interestin’ than most of the shit that goes on around here.

Welcome, newbies! )
raspberryturk: (Cocky)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yo, Fandom! Welcome to another fun-filled Sunday mornin’ broadcast with your two teachers in red! Sanity: optional. An’ kinda overrated, yo.

Deadpool: Hey now, I’m just aware on a different plane. It’s perfectly rational!

Reno: Oh, that’s what they’re callin’ it now?

Deadpool: Plus, I’m freakin’ everywhere these days. Post-modern antihero and all that jazz.

Reno: I always pick up so much useful vocabulary when we do these radio shows together, man. Is there some kinda convenient word for “assload of notes fobbed off on us by drunk rodents?”

Radio! Now with VOCABULARY. )
raspberryturk: (And?)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Man. There were giant bugs. Did you see ‘em? Giant friggin’ spiders out there. Just like home, yo!

Deadpool: Yes, yes. We all saw the bugs. But now we’re safe in Atlanta, Georgia.

Reno: I like Georgia. The view’s nice.

Deadpool: You mean the topless ladies?

Reno: They got real aesthetic value, yo.

Deadpool: It’s artsy! I’m sure we’ll end up on some epic vases with them if we stick around.

This radio broadcast is art. ART. )
raspberryturk: (Paddington - Being Polite)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Poromon: I don’t know if we should be in here, Janice!

Paddington: Excuse me, pardon me, but I was told that there would be marmalade here. Or, rather, I was offered something in a tall bottle, but it smelled a little odd, and so I requested marmalade instead. *pause* Hello!

Jan: Eeee! Bear! You’re mine now.

Poromon: Run while you caaaaan...

Paddington: Run? Why should I be doing tha-- Oh dear.

Jan: Miiiiiiine.

A Little Girl, A Pink Bird-Ball, and a Bear in a Duffel Coat Walk Into The Radio Station... )
[identity profile] mouthy-merc.livejournal.com
Reno: Yo, Fandom! It’s another beautiful day in the soggiest big city I ever saw, an’ here I am, inside, drinkin’ rum and enjoyin’ the skyline, yo. Pretty, ain’t it?

Deadpool: You only say that because you’re secretly Japanese and love that crap.

Reno: Last I checked, I wasn’t. But it does kinda remind me of home sweet home anyhow, yo. Mmm, smog.

Deadpool: It’s a secret Japanese.

Reno: See, where we come from, we call that ‘Wutai.’

Deadpool: Secret. Japanese.

I think I’m turning Japanese, I think I’m turning Japanese. I really think so. )
raspberryturk: (Mmmhmm)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Okay, I’m up. I’m awake. I’m here. You can untie the bottle of rum from the stick now an’ stop wavin’ it in front of my face, squirrels. I get the point, yo.

Deadpool: Awww, they caught you too! Sneaky little bastards.

Reno: We sure they’re squirrels? They’re kinda like little extra fuzzy rats when they get like this, ain’t they?

Deadpool: No, no. Rats will eat you. Squirrels are civilized about kidnapping you for their nefarious goals.

Reno: By playin’... what’s the Earth equivalent of a Chocobo with Gysahl greens? Horse and carrot? Horse an’ friggin’ carrot. With rum. *Sloshy* Congrats, rodents. It works.

Deadpool: They’re evolving. Pretty soon it’ll be Planet of the Squirrels.

Reno: So long as there’s rum, I, for one, am plannin’ on welcoming our new squirrely overlords. Also, my girlfriend’s got a cat. So I’m more or less safe, I think.

This was an awesome idea. Not a bad one. )
[identity profile] mouthy-merc.livejournal.com
Wade: Where are the cherry bombs? You guys promised me cherry bombs if I followed you to this creepy building.

*chittering*

Wade: ...Why would I want apple juice? Gross.

Reno: Ew... Got you too, huh? They told me there was pizza. But they’re liars and they smell dumb.

Wade: Duh. They’re squirrels. Here, you read these. They promised me the bombs if I read.

Reno: They gotts bombs? Cool! *Note shuffling sounds* And I know most’a these words, even, too!

*Chittering*

Reno: Nope. Took too long. I don’t wanna have pizza no more, not if there are bombs.

Wade: Ha ha, you have to give us both cherry bombs now.

A Recipe For Disaster? YES. )
[identity profile] mouthy-merc.livejournal.com
Deadpool: Goooood mornin’ Fandom. Say good morning, Jan.

Jan: NO! I want cartoons!

Deadpool:That’s Askani for ‘good morning’, folks.

Reno: Yeah? What’s Askani for ‘I’m just here because the squirrels promised booze?’

Jan: I wanna braid his haaaaaair.

Deadpool: Yeah, let’s go with that. She’s been on a hair braiding kick since a certain no good demon showed up in town.

Reno: Hey, I’m down with that, yo. I’m just callin’ first dibs on the rum to make up for it, though.

Deadpool: *sigh* Go for it, Jan. We gots to get our radio on like gangstas. Word.

Jan: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE--

Deadpool: And we’re cutting off her mic now.

Reno: Sounds like a plan. We wanna get started on this? Here, you go, an’ I’ll be over here, havin’ my hair pulled and makin’ certain the rum’s all quality.

In which Reno gets his hair done. )

[[Mad props to [livejournal.com profile] raspberryturk for the assist!]]
raspberryturk: (Smoking)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
George: Okay, the next rodent who touches me is drawing back a bloody stump, do you hear that? I could just squash most of you if I had real shoes on instead of [[DEAD AIR]]ing slippers.

*A door opens and slams*

Reno: What the... here? The hell’s the matter with you rodents, yo? It’s too damn early to pull out the rum for this crap! I see what you’re gettin’ at here, but it ain’t Booze’n’News at like gods-know-what-time in the morning. *pause* Or without Jenny. Who the hell are you?

George: George. Thrilled to be here. You know these squirrels? …. Did you say booze?

Reno: The squirrels and I go way back. And they pay in rum. Don’t they?

Two Contract Killers Step Into A Radio Booth... )

[Co-written with the lovely [livejournal.com profile] onapalebicycle! A regular radio schedule will probably resume when our fearless leader is no longer stuck in the land of computerlessness, which is a sad and lonely place indeed.]
raspberryturk: (With Ino)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Hah! I knew it! You little furry buggers couldn't last a year without wantin' my ass back in here for more broadcasts, could you?

*chittering*

Reno: And you brought me my favorite rum! Aw, I missed you too, you little rodent freaks. See, all I'm missin' now is a bitchy blonde to read the notes with, and I'll be all set, yo.

*door slams open*

Ino: Seriously? No, seriously? Stop waving the rum at me, I get it. You think I don't know what this means--Reno?

Reno: ... You ain't Jenny, but you'll do! You like rum, Rookie?

Reno and Rookie Radio! )
[identity profile] bitch-prince.livejournal.com
Arthur: Good evening, Fandom. I hope this Wednesday finds you fine and untroubled. We've earned this... relative... calm. I'd like you all to meet my 'co-host' for the evening.

Reno: Chuck Norris, yo! Heh. It's been a while since I was in here. I'm startin' to forget what all these fiddly little buttons do, zoto. Oooh. But the rum, that I remember. *sloshy*

Arthur: The rum is a kind mistress. Last week's troubles, as well as the harpies before it, were grave. We did well, and withstood the horrors in the end, but that doesn't mean we should simply sit and wait for the next to come to this castle. As such, next Tuesday afternoon, Reno and I would like to speak with any of you who might be interested in training to fight together, as well as individually. There's no reason we should stand alone.

Reno: Remember, kids, only Chuck Norris can stand alone through a zombie apocalypse. He just roundhouse kicks the air, and... yeah. I dunno. I was better at comin' up with this stuff when I was wearin' the cowboy hat, yo. Anyhow, we can use anyone willin' to work as a team in case of another dangerous invasion. I'm graduatin' soon. I can't keep comin' back here to save all your sorry butts all the time, you know. *Sloshy*

Arthur: What the man said. Tuesday afternoon, behind the dorms. Now... on to the notes of the day.

Two (Awesome) Drunken (Kickass) Lads (Who Will Kick Your Arse) Radio. )

Arthur: I believe that's it for this Wednesday.

*creaking noise*

Arthur: Merlin, don't give me that look. Did you bring herbs? Go and fetch me that water.

*slam* *audible eye-rolling*

Reno: It's too late for me to ask him to get me some more rum, huh?

Arthur: I'm sure he'd be in some kind of girly sulk about it if you did. Thank you for your help.

Reno: No problem, yo. It's a bit of nostalgia, readin' off radio notes with a bitchy blonde Brit or whatever. Do I get to say good night, now? I got more rum back in my room's got my name on it.

Arthur: What did you just call me...?

Reno: ..... G'night, Fandom! *An extra sloshy, and then the slamming of a door.*
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Jenny: Good evening, Fandom citizens! I'm Jenny, he's Reno, this is Booze n' News, and you have just over twenty-four hours left to get me something nice for my birthday.

Reno: ... Aw, crap. I just got back from a week in a perpetual thunderstorm. Didn't get you nothin', Jenny. How you feel about large riding chickens?

WARK. Er. Radio! )
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yo, Fandom! Looks to me like we got another Tuesday. A good Tuesday. A fine Tuesday. The kinda Tuesday where the squirrels, furry little saints that they are, bring me booze. Yes, Fandom, you gotta tolerate another Tuesday night broadcast with Reno an' Jenny, yo. I'm Reno.

Jenny: And I'm Jenny.

Reno: And we got booze! And notes. We do got notes, right?

Jenny: What did you think this pile of paper was? Because it's not my shopping list, I'll tell you that.

Reno: If it was, I'd be tempted to say you shop like a girl I work with back home. Okay then, notes.

Christmas Eve-Eve Radio )
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Jenny: Hello, Fandom Island! I'm Jenny, he's Reno, this *sloshy* is booze, soon will be the news, and I hope we find you well on this fine evening, and if not well, at least drunk.

Reno: For some of you people out there, drunk seems like it might be lookin' better and better, but I digress. Already. I think. Is the 'witty banter' portion of the broadcast too early to be considered digressin'?

Jenny: Buggered if I know.

Reno: Well, I'm gonna digress anyhow. Just because if's a fun word. And if our listeners on the island don't like it, they can read their own news. Yeah.

Booze and News! )
raspberryturk: (Smoking)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yo, Fandom! It's another Tuesday, and it looks like my threat to tape you all to the wall last week paid off, zoto! Or was it staples? It's hard to remember, I was pretty hammered at the time, yo. Huh. Anyhow, it looks like you guys got the honor of listenin' to my beautiful voice all night, because it looks like my lovely, kinda tobacco-scented co-host is AWOL this evening. I got my money on maybe I sleep staple-taped her to the wall. So, without further ado, we got note--

*CRASH! CHITTER! ASSORTED STRUGGLE SOUNDS!*

Warren: --Have to write my newspaper article tonight! Don't make me light you furry little freaks on... Fire... *Awkward silence* We aren't, uh...?

Reno: On the air?

Warren: That.

Reno: Siddown. Have some rum, Slick. This is gonna be an interesting night.

A lightning-bug and a fire-bug walk into a radio station... )
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yo, Fandom! The faucets ain't runnin' hot chocolate today, but I can forgive the island for that. I think. The pet was gettin' thirsty, zoto. I'm drownin' my sorrow in booze, anyhow. I know. The chocolate was a beautiful thing. But somehow, we'll all have to survive. *chugging sounds*

Jenny: I needed a shower after the chocolate, but I regret none of it.

Reno: Kinda a shame the taps weren't runnin' booze again. Sorta less sticky, dependin' on which delicious poison you get stuck under, yo.

Jenny: At least alcohol has sterilizing properties. And it's better for my waistline. Actually, it's probably not, considering how much of it I drink. Sweet booze. Never leave me.

Reno: There's the one thing in life that ain't never gonna change. Booze. And notes. We got notes? It's Tuesday, I wouldn't be surprised if- sweet mother of Shiva, who let the squirrel report on Caritas, tonight?

Karaoke Radio! )
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Jenny: Hello, Fandom High! I see everyone has survived another week, even though we have to go to school over the stuffing yourselves holiday. Here's hoping you're all drinking to dull the pain; if not, well, there's never a better time to start than the present.

Reno: .... This is the week of that holiday with the giant chicken things? You know, one of these days, I'm gonna actually look at a friggin' calendar and figure out what holiday is what.

Booze'n'News! )
raspberryturk: (Kissy!)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yo, Fandom! Not only does it seem to be Saturday, and I happen to be in the radio station, but I seem to have a different co-host than usual too, yo. Squirrels are a freakin' unforgivin' lot when they want you to do a broadcast, I'll tell you. They'll leap in on your social life and then bring her along for the ride, yo.

Rikku: Ooooh, this is nifty! And I totally wanted to come. I've never been abducted by squirrels before. And I only did radio once before, when I was an insane fairy-thing.

News'n'SortaBooze? )

[Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] the_merriest for her help with radio tonight!]
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yo! *pant* Heh. Yo, Fandom! It's Tuesday again, and... heh. S'cuse me. *Chugging sounds* Okay. Caught my breath. S'good, zoto. Tuesday again, and time for another Booze'n'News broadcast with Jenny and Reno! And the squirrel over here who is my new best friend, 'cause it totally just handed me a bottle of Sambuca.

Jenny: The squirrel didn't give me anything. I'll just be over here pouting.

Reno: Or you could just nab some of its limoncello or grappa. Heh. That's one well-traveled squirrel, yo.

Jenny: What if I just want gin? Is gin so much to ask for?

Reno: Apparently. But look on the bright side. At least you got notes to comfort yourself with.

Jenny: Notes...aren't actually very comforting. Although I suppose you could stuff a pillow with them. It would be a very rustly pillow.

Rustling Radio )
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yo, Fandom! Another Tuesday, another drunken broadcast with... drunken... broadcaster types. I got an early start, yo. There was punch in the booze at the party tonight.

Jenny: There was a party? Why didn't anyone tell me?

Reno: You gotta check your e-mail more often, Jenny.

Jenny: I hate the twenty-first century.

21st Century Radio! )
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Jenny: Congratulations, Americans! I've been really worried about what the *censor beep* you were thinking since I came back from the dead, but today you didn't *censor beep* it up. I am so *censor beep*ing relieved, you do not even know.

Reno: And I ain't got no clue what's been goin' on the past few months, but I'm thinkin' somethin' big happened today, so I'm gonna give you a thumbs-up over the radio, yo. Pretend you can see my thumbs. They're up. An' I've already been drinkin'. So it seems like we're set to read news that's a little more local than the big stuff that cut out all the good TV shows I was watchin' today.

Election Day Radio! )
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: So! Another Tuesday, yo. And we got classes again. You know, just when you think you got a good thing goin', the school year reasserts itself like some kinda... educational... institutional... thingie, zoto.

Jenny: I think the wheels just fell off your simile.

Reno: Thingie is a technical term, ain't it?

Jenny: Not...to the best of my knowledge, no. Sorry.

Reno: Well, can't say I didn't make the effort, yo. You think you can do any better, Jenny?

Jenny: Well, I could make some trite comment about the circle of life, but for some reason I suspect that would lead to the squirrels breaking into song.

Reno: Yeah. That kinda thing moves us all. Like a wheel of fortune, or maybe a leap of faith, or a... band of hope? Uh. Okay. I'm givin' up on the similes now. This educational crap is for the smart kids. We got notes?

Jenny: We do indeed have notes.

The Circle of Radio Moves Us All. )
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yo, Fandom! Tuesday night, yet again. On a nice, normal, sloooow day here on the island. I just gotta say, here and now, how glad I am I get to do this broadcastin' bit on Tuesdays. It's like gettin' my rum for nothin', yo.

Jenny: Don't give the squirrels ideas, good God, man, they might take it away again.

Reno: Or worse, start takin' more notes. "Today on the island, leaves turned colors that ain't green. Also, it's a full moon but there are clouds in the sky, yo." C'mon, we don't gotta report on that.

Jenny: We might. As a service to our lycanthropic community, although I don't think we have any werewolves at present. That's probably the next thing.

Reno: Start givin' the island ideas now, why don't you? Next full moon, we'll all be turnin' into wereturkeys or somethin' weird like that. We got notes?

Jenny: If we didn't have notes, I'd have taken the rum and gone home by now. Which means yes.

Reno: On with the news then, yo. We can talk slow, means we get to drink more rum, right?

Jenny: Sounds like a plan to me!

Slow News Is Slow )
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: -- Yes, I know you've brought booze. I'm just sayin', squirrels, that ain't gonna be enough. I got possible pay cuts to take into consideration, now. You're little furry heroes, keepin' a hard-workin' high-school student from goin' dry. Think of it like that, and bringin' extra rum on Tuesdays is, like, charity or somethin', right?

*Chittering*

Reno: Well, I gotta try, anyhow. Yo, Fandom. It's Tuesday night, and this is News and not-quite-enough Booze with Reno and Jenny Sparks.

Jenny: Possible pay cuts? I wasn't aware you worked for money, Reno, I thought you simply boozed your way through high school. Not that there's anything wrong with that. In fact I firmly support it.

Booze'n'News! )
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
*Sloshysloshysloshy*

Reno: That's the ticket, yo! A Tuesday night complete with booze! Variety, even. Got some tequila, some rum, vodka's sittin' over there, here's some whiskey for good measure, and, for the faint of heart, there's some beer or whatever sittin' over there. I stocked up, in case the squirrels didn't, yo.

Jenny: Oh, good, because I only brought a bottle of gin, and I wasn't planning to share. I'd hate for you to go dry.

Reno: Trust me, there won't be noooo danger of that tonight. I plan on drinkin' plenty to make up for last week's dry radio, zoto. We got notes?

Jenny: We do! We have...a lot of notes. You [[CENSOR BEEP]]ers need to do less. Hang out in your rooms and drink. Wait. Then we'd have to report on that. Cease to exist every Tuesday, make our lives easier.

Reno: Eh. Ain't too much, I guess. I mean, someone coulda had a birthday, or we coulda been invaded by, I dunno, animated plush puffins in top hats, or glow in the dark dinosaurs, or ... uh... I dunno. I'm already drunk, yo.

Jenny: God's harbingers of pus, we could have been invaded by those. Those were fun. Not really. *glug glug glug*

Reno: Now you're just makin' me homesick. On with the news!

News! It Exists! )
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: --Whaddaya mean, the mangy bedheaded pirate guy drank all the freakin' rum? No, no stop hangin' out in the corner, I ain't gonna turn into some kinda clown- the heck, you guys! Just get us some booze in here! I don't care what it is! I'll drink fruity girly dr-- Oh. Oh, we're on the air? Yo, Fandom! It's been two weeks since we were in here, and the place has managed to go to heck while we were gone. I just want my free booze, okay?

Jenny: That's right, I won a bloody drinking contest for you people and I expect to be repaid accordingly, d'you hear?

... Booze and News? Maybe? )
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Jenny: Hello, Fandom High! I'm Jenny Sparks, this is Reno 'I Don't Need a Stinking Surname,' and this is Booze and News, where the squirrels ply us with rum and we try to tell you what you all got up to today before we pass out. So grab a bottle and try to follow along!

Reno: In honor of the new semester, I propose we turn this broadcast into a drinkin' game, yo. Whenever our good buddy Pepito the censor squirrel saves the day, all you listeners out there in the world outside the station take a swig.

Jenny: But first, a toast to Pepito, without whom you would hear far more swear words every Tuesday.

*clink*

*glug glug*

Jenny: Ah, that's the stuff.

Drunken Radio! )
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yo, Fandom! Ever hit the club so hard that three days later, you still feel like [[CENSOR BEEP]]? Yep. That'd be me. But at least this time I didn't end up with an unfortunate tattoo on my behind. Ain't you all proud?

Jenny: I've done that many times, but I'm pleased to say I've never wound up with a tattoo on my bum. I suppose this is just one of the many ways I'm superior to you.

Radio, My *** )
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yo, Fandom! I think it's safe to say that it's some kinda miracle that we're parked next to America again. I mean, France was cool, Australia wasn't too bad, but Antarctica? Bermuda? What's wrong with this island? I ain't even from this world, and I gotta say it's good to be back in the U.S. of A, yo. And, you know, not gettin' lost in fog.

Jenny: I don't know what the bloody [censor beep] island you were on, but Australia was horrific. But yes, I'm glad to be back in America. Dear God, I never thought I would say that.

Reno: Australia was warm. Antarctica was... Antarctica. But hey, the bugs here are smaller. We got some real freaking huge ones on Gaia. Bigger'n those Aussie ones, even. The land of platypus didn't bug me none, yo.

News! Now with 100% less platypi! )

*crashing sound*

*static*
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: First, I can't find my way to the freakin' radio station. And then the freakin mic is wrapped in bubblewrap- *pop pop pop* - and now the booze is all bound up and my co-host ain't here, either. Tonight's broadcast is gonna be an adventure, yo.

*Chittering*

Bubble Wrap Radio )

Reno: ... It pops. *Pop!*

Jenny: So it does. *pop pop pop!*

*pop pop pop pop pop! POP!*
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: First squirrel that writes "Wark" at me gets their head held in a bottle of rum until they stop strugglin'. Just sayin'-- Oh, we on the air? Dammit. Uh. Yo, Fandom!

Jenny: I've missed something hilarious again, haven't I?

*Squirrel chittering!*

Reno: .... No. No you didn't. We, uh, got notes? We do, right? [[Censor beep]], I need some ru-- Jenny. There's a freaky little tusked thing swimmin' in our bottle tonight. I'm gonna need more rum, now.

Jenny: It'll pass out soon. Just drink around it.

Reno: Ain't half as bad as a mezcal worm, I guess. But at least the worms are dead and pickled. We got notes?

Jenny: We do indeed have notes! You start, I'll try to get the thingy out of our rum.

Reno: Good luck with that, yo.

Sober News? Say it isn't so! )

Jenny: There you go. Sometimes you have to say screw it and drink from the bottle with the bunyip. Also I am never going to stop laughing at you.

Reno: I hate you. Give me the marinated critter booze. Good night, Fandom. I'm gettin' drunk on bunyip.


[And once again, huge kudos to [livejournal.com profile] the_merriest, who saved me from serious coding fail tonight and she deserves pie. Give her pie, I say.]
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yo, Fandom! Welcome to Booze 'n' News with Reno, a buncha squirrels, and this snarlin' fuzzy thing that fell on me as I walked into the radio station tonight. I dunno where my esteemed co-host is. Either she's off drunk somewhere, or she got eaten by a freakin' drop bear.

Drop Bear: Snarrrrrrrrrr.

Reno: Spoken like a true freaky fuzzy cute ninja teddy bear thing, yo.

Drop Bear: Snarrrrrrrr.

Reno: You need a name. I'll call you Jenny.

Radio, Snarrr! )

Reno: I think we're done here, yo. Rum got to the co-host.

Jenny: Let's run before it wakes up with a hangover.

Reno: Good call. Good night, Fandom!


[Many kudos to [livejournal.com profile] the_merriest, who helped with the coding when my brain revolted against me!]
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yooooo, Faaaaaandom! This has been the best freakin' day ever except for those days that were better and did I mention today was really freakin' awesome? Because it was, yoto.

Jenny: Hello Fandom High, and I really must concur, today has been smashing. I showered in beer people, so for once when people said I smelled like I'd been soaked in booze they were completely right! How crazy is that?

Reno: Craaaazy.

Mako: Honk!

Reno: Oooh. Haaaay. The ferret. Go play with the rodents, dude. So! Drunkenness. We got that! A lot! And it was totally freakin' free and I hope you all got spare bottles of that stuff, because this is Fandom and it ain't gonna last forever. If you didn't, then go, run, quick. Get a bottle an' fill it with tapwaterbooze and we'll totally wait. Pass the time by drinkin'. And... go!

*chugging sounds*

Drunken Radio is Drunken! )



[Thanks go to [livejournal.com profile] vkandis_son for letting us borrow the horse!]
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yo, Fandom! Reno, Jenny, and a weird red bird-thing here to give you all the news you never wanted us to share, yo!

Parrot: Share, yo! Rrrawwwk! Yo!

Jenny: So did the ferret die and get replaced already, is that's what's going on here? Because I have to say, it was less annoying.

Reno: Nah, Mako's all well an' good, yo. Dunno where the parrot came from, but he's been good company today. Ain't you, stupid?

Parrot: Ain't you stupid?

Jenny: *snicker* The bird just called you stupid. And I thought its name was Dumbass.

Reno: He'll answer to both. He's a very flexible ferret that way, yo. We got notes?

Parrot: We got notes! We got notes!

Jenny: Oh my God, shut it up.

Reno: There's somethin' to be said for superglue on a chunk of cuttlebone, yo. First up, school.

News! Rrrawk! News! )
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yo, Fandom! There's a bear crossed with a marshmallow in here, or somethin', and he's givin' us mixers for the rum. Looks like it's gonna be a good night tonight, yo. Cheers!

Jenny: It's a polar bear, dingbat. With [[product placement beep]]. No clue why, mind you, but then I am not complaining because it is ice cold and refreshing. OW! Apparently that was too close to a shill for the squirrels. Just for that they can't have any. Because I said so.

The News That Refreshes )
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
*There is the very distinct, slightly goose-like sound of honking. And the less goose-like sound of angry chittering in response.*

Reno: Awww, you little stupid, you can't go terrorizin' the squirrels, yo.

*Honk!*

Jenny: Keep it away from me. Also, it's too stupid to live.

Reno: ... I'd tell you to take that back, but the weird ninja-weasel-goose is pretty stupid, ain't he?

*Honk!*

Jenny: Make it stop antagonizing the squirrels; they'll take away our booze.

Reno: You have an oddly compelling point. C'mere, stupid. Naptime or somethin'.

Jenny: Maybe if you give it rum it'll fall asleep. Or. Die or something.

Reno: But I don't want it to die. No rum for you, Weasel-thing.

Honk! )

*Honk!*
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Jenny: --And one more thing, what the bloody [DEAD AIR] happened to your hair?

Reno: S' the new style, yo. Two feet of ponytail had to go, at the behest of the [DEAD AIR] Vice-[DEAD AIR] Principal and his flaming- Oh, [DEAD AIR], are we on the air already?

Jenny: At least before you could see where you were going with the whole postmodern hairstyle and whatnot. Now it's just...tragic. Oh, [DEAD AIR] me, we are. Hello, Fandom, and welcome to another week of Booze and News with Jenny and Reno, now with even more tragic hair.

Reno: It ain't that tragic, is it? I mean... hair grows? ... Took me, uh, six years to grow it to where it was. But hair grows! ... Right?

Jenny: I've heard rumors of a koala or something that lives in the woods, and when it bites you your hair grows. Wanna go look for it after the show?

Reno: ... The hell's a koala?

Jenny: They live in trees and they're cute, but they're from Australia so they can probably kill you six ways.

Reno: ... Was my ponytail worth dyin' for? It's a tough call, yo.

Jenny: You look like a [DEAD AIR]. But it's your call.

Reno: .... I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that. I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that, and I'm gonna pick up the notes, and I'm gonna read 'em, yo.

Jenny: You do that.

Reno: I will.

The News! )
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yo, Fandom! It's time for another installment of Booze 'n News with Reno and Jenny, and I'm gonna open up by sayin' that if anyone pulls a weapon on someone I know again, I'm gonna [[DEAD AIR]].

Jenny: Have I missed something again? Or did you just forget to take your meds before you came down here?

Reno: .... I ain't on meds. Was just one of those weekends, yo.

Jenny: One of those weekends with weapons.

Reno: And foxes.

And news! )

Reno: How will I ever get by in life not knowin' the joy of watchin' guys throw a ball into a basket?

Jenny: I've managed so far. Just dull your pain with the liquor.

Reno: *chugging sounds* Oh, there it is. All the meanin' just came rushin' back into my dull, colorless life, yo. We done?

Jenny: I believe we are. Good night, Fandom! Drink one down for us!
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yo, Fandom! It's another Tuesday night in Bali Ha'i, and you finally got your normal Tuesday radio staff in the studio. It's a bloody miracle, ain't it? I'm Reno, in case you all managed to forget, and that one over there- That'd be Jenny Sparks, who's too damn cool to give up her last name for the sake of fittin' in here in the studio, yo.

Jenny: Just because the squirrels don't appear to have last names doesn't make it a trend, Reno. Or are you comparing yourself favorably to rodents now?

Reno: Don't go talkin' down on the squirrels, Jenny. They know where you sleep at night.

Jenny: They know what I do to creatures who show up in my room unexpectedly, too, don't they?

*slightly nervous chittering*

Jenny: You see, the trick is to be scarier than everybody else.

Reno: ... I'm makin' a mental note here, scare the livin' [[DEAD AIR]] outta the rodents.

*The hollow thunk of an acorn hitting someone's head.*

Reno: That was real uncalled for, Pepito. We got notes, Jenny?

Of course there are notes! )

Reno: *Clears his throat* Say good night, Jenny? Before the squirrels kill me with *thunk* OKAY, I GET THE [[LOTS OF DEAD AIR]] IDEA. YOU WIN. Filthy freakin' roden- *thunk*

Jenny: Good night, all you little people out there. Now come on, Ginger, let's leave the squirrels in peace.
ashockingbitch: (Default)
[personal profile] ashockingbitch
Jenny: Hello, Fandom High, and welcome to another week of Booze and News with Jenny and--hold on a tick, you're not Reno.

Faith: *lighting a cigarette* You got good eyes, right there. Can't get nothin' past you. Nah, I just came to donate some booze to the cause.

Jenny: We can always use more booze! Want to stick around and drink some of it? I think the redhead's running late.

Faith: Do I gotta read sh- ... stuff? 'Cause last time I had to get beeped a lot 'cause I say sh- ... stuff you ain't s'posed to say on radio. Dale just kinda laid on that button.

Jenny: Yeah, Reno and I have our own dedicated squirrel for that. I have named him Pepito. Say hello, Pepito.

*thunk*

Jenny: Ow! Also, sometimes they throw acorns. But that's okay, because we have liquor to dull the pain.

Faith: Well, [[DEAD AIR]]. I'm in. Me an' Pepito can get acquainted in a hurry.

Jenny: Excellent! In that case, everyone, welcome to Booze and News with Jenny and Faith, and also Reno if he ever gets his [[DEAD AIR]] in here. We will be bringing you all the news that's not fit to print, because seriously, bollocksed if I know what's up with the newspaper. So let's get started with

Radio! Now With 100% Less Reno and 100% More Lesbian Subtext! )

Reno: Well, [[DEAD AIR]] yeah. To the bar! Next round's on me, yo. Say good night, Jenny!

Jenny: Good night, everyone. To the bar!

Faith: Last one there's gotta eat the worm. Night!
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yo, Fandom! Another Tuesday, another installment of Booze and News with Reno and Jenny! ... There ain't words for how freakin' weird it was to have last Tuesday off, yo. It's like... I dunno. Like we missed a week. Weird.

Jenny: Speak for yourself; I've lost last Tuesday night in an absinthe-fueled haze. I could have been here, for all I know.

Reno: Nah, I think that was Murdock. I ain't sure if he brought his dog, though.

Jenny: If he did, I hope the squirrels have been through here with a vacuum and a lint roller.

*annoyed chittering*

There is Booze. And News. )

Reno: We're done notes, right? We should cue up the 80's playlist and then run for our lives. Or, as the case may be, drunkenly stumble, yo.

Jenny: This sounds like an excellent plan to me, co-host. Let's see...ah, here we go. It's got Devo.

Reno: I'll take that as a good bad sign or somethin'. Say good night, Jenny!

Jenny: Good night, Jenny!

*Thriller begins to play*
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yo, Fandom! Second day of classes, and if you haven't learned how to turn on your respective radios by now, then there probably ain't any hope for you. And you won't even be insulted, because you won't be listenin' to the broadcast, will you? And as for the rest of you- shame on you for not showin' whoever ain't listenin' to this broadcast the wonders of modern technology or whatever. Radio's freakin' awesome! Enlighten them, yo!

Jenny: Whatever the bloody hell he said! Hello, Fandom High! And Fandom town, I suppose, and any bits of Greece that might accidentally be getting this broadcast. I'm Jenny Sparks, this is Reno 'I'm too sexy for a last name,' and this--

*slosh slosh*

Is Captain Morgan! We're here to bring you all the news that's not fit to print, because bollocks knows what's going on with the newspaper.

Reno: Newspaper's under new management and on summer break, yo. Kickass management. Just you gotta wait for it. First paper's gonna be good, yo.

*Chittering*

Reno: And no, I ain't just sayin' that because the new editor's my girlfriend. But while we're waitin' for newspaper, a news medium that you newbies from the past may be more familiar with, we on Pirate Radio have got notes! Loads... of... Notes. .... And ouzo! And rum! And... other booze! So we're well equipped to read 'em, ain't we, Jenny?

Jenny: The booze helps, it's true. So let's get started with...

Radio, which is going to be decidedly more alcohol-influenced than the paper... )

Jenny: You poor sot. Good night, Jenny!

Reno: Good night Fandom!

*Loud footfalls. Things crash. Dead air.*
raspberryturk: (Cynic Radio)
[personal profile] raspberryturk
Reno: Yo, Fandom! Reno here on a mighty fine evening off the coast of Greece, which, I learned, ain't what you end up with after fryin' bacon. Who knew?

Jenny: Your knowledge of the history of the planet on which you are currently resident is positively tragic, I have to tell you this. Also, they're spelled completely differently.

Reno: There's a lot to this planet! More freakin' countries than we got on Gaia, anyhow. I ain't gonna memorize it all just for the sake of goin' to high school... Wait, they're spelled different? ... Whoa. I never would'a thought, yo.

Jenny: Note...to...self: Add western civ textbook to Reno's 'Welcome to Earth, Third Rock From the Sun' care package.

Reno: This is the third planet from the sun? Earth is freakin' weird, yo. We got notes?

Jenny: It's not weird at all. Believe me. I've seen weirder. And yes, as a matter of fact, we do have notes!

Reno: Oh, good. I'll start readin' 'em, then. Weird Earth notes written by weird Earth squirrels, who are drinkin' my quality Earth rum while we speak, yo.

The Weird Earth News )

Jenny: You're so weird. Good night, everyone. Eat a pig for us.

Fandom High RPG



About the Game

---       Master Game Index
---       Thinking of Joining?
---       Application Information
---       Existing Character Directory

In-Character Comms

School and Grounds
---       Fandom High School
---       Staff Lounge
---       TA Lounge
---       Student Dorms

Around the Island
---       Fandom Town
---       Fandom Clinic

Communications
---       Radio News Recaps
---       Student Newspaper
---       IC Social Media Posts

Off-Island Travel
---       FH Trips

Once Upon a Time...
---       FH Wishverse AU


Out-of-Character Comms

---       Main OOC Comm
---       Plot Development
---       OOC-but-IC Fun





Disclaimer

Fandom High is a not-for-profit text-based game/group writing exercise, featuring fictional characters and settings from a variety of creators, used without permission but for entertainment purposes only.

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