[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com

*massive amounts of enthusiastic squeaking*

Awwwwww! Hugs for everybody! We're totally getting hammered tonight. See, I brought a sleeping bag so I could sleep in the station tonight! It's just going to be like old times!


The other girl? Oh, the note said she couldn't leave because something in the common room reminded her of how her pet parakeet suffocated from a throw pillow accident when she was twelve. Weird, huh?

Anyways! For you new kids and you old kids, this is Dick Casablancas with WTFH Fandom radio! Man, it feels good to say that. Let's dive right in to the news, shall we? You guys were hella weird today. This is Fandom and I'm saying you guys were weird. That's how weird you were.

Poor Dick is so confused... )
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello, Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas reporting to you from Greece! Which you all knew but it's still awesome to say. Dude, Greece! How cool is that? Like olives and pitas and Greek chicks and other Greeky stuff! I'm totally geeking out about it. Or should I say Greeking out?

That was lame. Pretend I didn't say that.

Greeeek lightning! )

And that's it for me tonight, Fandom! Go out, enjoy the Greek life and try not to get arrested. I hear foreign jails are awful. Night!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Lilly: Stop pulling my hair!

Caz: I will if you take back what you said!

Lilly: No! It's true!

Meg: Dick, do something about your son.

Dick: Tell your daughter to stop calling his mother a tramp.

Lilly: Stepmommy Veronica is a tramp! Mom said so!

Caz: My mom isn't a tramp!

Dick: Don't worry, Caz. Meg's just bitter because she found out she has to be a lonely single mother.

Meg: Dick!

Lilly: I'll have you know my mom is real pop'lar! She has men sleep over all the time!


Dick: Oh who's the tramp now, Manning?

Meg: ...Shut up.

This news is like novel length )
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hellllllllo Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH Fandom radio and I've got news. And not just the regular news but news about me news. Which is the best kind of news of all. So, yeah, the fortune lady said I was going to marry one of you squirrels and we all know my "no uggos" rule when it comes to chicks of any species. Line up and let me see which one of you lucky rodents is going to be the first Mrs. Richard H. Casablancas.

Hrm...no...no...no...brush that tail a little and we'll talk....no, you're mean...and you've got potential but I don't want to be making any final decisions yet. Look, I know. It's a job that everybody wants but it's just not something I can rush into. I suggest you all start giving me gifts to win over my heart. I love Twizzlers and Pop Rocks. Start by giving me those.

Obviously Dick and Mrs. Casablancas-squirrel will be adopting )

No, I still haven't made a decision yet. You've got to give me time, okay? I'll think about it. Anyways, that's if for me tonight guys. See ya!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello, Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH Fandom radio. Dude, I almost forgot it was Sunday. Luckily those squirrels come and harass you if they think you're not going to make it to the station on time. And by harass I mean "throw acorns at you until you wake up from your nap." Wait...that kinda sucks. Stupid squirrels.
Newsie News News )

That's it for me, Fandom! Wow, you guys really hate doing stuff on Sunday. Not that I'm complaining. I can go finish my nap now. Or...I guess it'd just be sleeping now. Anyways, I'll be unconscious. Night!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH Fandom radio and I am neither wee or tiny. So I've got that going for me.

Quick news )

Wow, that was a breeze compared to last weekend. Anyways, that's it for me Fandom. Night!

[Sorry for the lame broadcast. I don't feel well all of a sudden. *pouts*]
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
DICK: Okay, we're here. I didn't get in trouble. You can go.

MEG: I don't think so. As if I'm going to let you do radio by yourself like this. You shouldn't be allowed to do radio by yourself when you're a teenager.

DICK: WHAT?! But Sam an' Dean got to do radio by themselves!

MEG: Sam and Dean are good boys. You are...I don't want to say evil but that's the only word that's coming to mind.


MEG: Oh don't even! I know what you're like. You gave me a box full of worms and dirt for my seventh birthday.

DICK: That was a present for you!

MEG: You dumped them in my hair!

DICK: Oh, yeah. That was funny!

Sadly this is pretty close to the bickering of the normal Dick and Meg broadcasts )

MEG: All done?

DICK: Yep!

MEG: Yaaaay. Alright, let's go back to the dorms. It's way past your bedtime.

DICK: Can I sleep with you?

MEG: Absolutely not.

DICK: Aw...
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello, Fandom! Happy Easter! I've got chocolate bunnies! Mmmm, decapitation has never tasted so good. Onto the news!

Here comes Peter Cottontail hopping down the bunny trail... )

That's all the news I have for tonight. I'm going to go eat more bunnies. Chocolate bunnies. Not regular bunnies. Regular bunnies are too cute to eat.

I didn't just say cute.
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Don't adjust your dial, Fandomites, it is indeed Saturday and this is indeed Dick Casablancas with WTFH Fandom radio. Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking coming out here while creepy ass angels are attacking to give you news. You people owe me.

It's the Ides of March. Don't stab me )

That's it? Man, we better get people back soon or I'm out of a job. Oh...and also because they're awesome and I'd like to see them again. That too. Alright, I'm going to run back to the dorms as fast as I can. Night!

OOC Notes on the shenanigans outside of Fandom

The Past: Cairo 1923 | Chicago 1933 | London 1936 | New York 1930 | Paris 1899

Away Teams: Crane Asylum | Museum of Natural History | Westchester | Timbuktu | Castle DOOM
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hi, this is Dick Casablancas with WTFH Fandom Radio and oh my god, I hate Daylight Savings Time. All is not as it should be! It's like we're sucked in this weird Twilight Zone where everybody is late! I missed my naptime! Do you know how horrible this is? I'm grumpy now! I don't know how this week could possibly get worse!

Because I can't fight this feeling anymoreeeee. I've forgotten what I started fighting fooooooor )

That's it for me Fandom. I'm going to go catch up on the sleep that was so violently ripped from me today. Do your best to survive the rest of this horrible day known as Daylight Savings Time day. Night!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
God damn, nail polish remover stinks. Like, really. I'm almost sad to see it go though. My hands look so pretty. Not gonna lie, when Annette painted my toenails after I turned into a girl I kept it on for a couple days afterward cause it looked good. And also because I didn't know that there was remover for it. Um...thanks for getting that for me by the way. I owe you one, squirrel. It was bad enough I had to keep my hands in my pockets on the airplane, there was no way I was about to go into the store and buy--AH MAN THE LIGHT IS ON! How long have we been on air? Crap! You squirrels knew, didn't you? I get it, you all like her better because you think she's cute and perky and lets you braid her hair. You're just like that traitor guy! The one with the eggs! Benedict Arnold! Yeah, making delicious eggs doesn't make you any less of a TRAITOR!

Revenge will be had, Manning.

I feel pretty, oh so pretty... )

And that's it for me, Fandom. I'm going to take my nail polish remover and get away from these traitorous squirrels. Eggs Benedicts, all of you.
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH Fandom radio and I fell asleep during the Oscars. Again. If somebody's boob popped out and I missed it...oh I'll be so mad.

Anyways, news!

Dick is somewhat less annoying than Ryan Seacrest )

Well, that's it for me Fandom. I hope you all won your Oscar pools! Night!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello, Fandom. This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH Fandom radio. As always, bringing you the drama, comedy and romance of, this, our town. Okay, I doubt too much went on today. It's Sunday. People who do productive stuff on Sundays are lame. I'm actually bordering on lameness because I got out of bed to come here and do radio.

Laaaazy Sunday )

Well, that's it for me. Keep on being lazy, Fandom. That's why Sundays were created. Night!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH Fandom radio. Valentine's Day is coming up this week and we all know what that means: FREE CANDY! Woooooooooo!

Oh...and something about love and relationships and whatever. Bo-ring.

We should get rid of the R in February )

Aaaaaaaand that's it for me folks. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday and dream the little dream of free candy on Thursday. Night!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com

MEG: The Packers weren't even in the Superbowl, you drunk ass.

DICK: This is why I brought you here, Meggles. So you can help correctify me when I'm wrong.

MEG: That's going to take all night.

DICK: I've got spare time.

MEG: Well I don't. So let's get reading.

What's this? Another citizen who isn't READY FOR SOME FOOTBALLLLLL?! )

MEG: See? Was that so hard to do?

DICK: Yes. Those last few minutes where you made me read the news was torture. I'm going to have to drink more just to forget I did it.

MEG: You're going to be sleeping in here again aren't you?

DICK: Most likely. The second floor of the dorms is so far away.

MEG: Well you enjoy that. I've got better places to sleep. Places that I'll be going to right now.

DICK: Fine, but you're missing out. We don't need her, do we squirrels? No we don't. We'll celebrate the Packers winning by ourselves.

MEG: *sigh* Bye, Dick. Bye, Fandom!

DICK: What she said with the goodbyeing!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello, Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH Fandom Radio, telling you all to never ever watch Peter Parker dance. Ever. No matter how fabulous it is. It does crazy things.

I'm choosing not to be witty for this cut. Really )

Well, I'm just going to assume that I'm not in immediate danger and I won't be killed on the way home. I was afraid I'd have to spend the night here again. That's no fun. Some of the squirrels snore. See ya!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hellllllllo Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH radio and I'm totally not fat! It's Sunday the thirteenth. And you all know what that means. Absolutely nothing! Aaaaaaaaah, I'm drunk already. I ate like a kajillion pounds of ice cream yesterday so I need the beer to help balance it out. Shhhh. It totally works. Trust me. I know things.

Beer me the news! )

And that's it for the news tonight! I love keeping the booze to news ratio even. It makes me happy. And drunk. Enjoy your last few hours of weekend, Fandom! Night!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello, Fandom! For those of you new kids who don't know, this is Dick Casablancas with WTFH Fandom radio. Just for the record, I am awesome and any bad things you hear about me are LIES!

Now that we've gotten that out of the way we can get to the news. Which there is a lot of. Booze me, squirrels!

Neeeeeeeeewbies! )

Annnnnnnnd I'm done! That's it from me tonight, Fandom! Enjoy your last few hours of class-less freedom! Night!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
DICK: Hey, Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH radio but I'm currently not in the radio station. My current location is Los Angeles. Even more specific, a room in the Hyperion in Los Angeles. I was, like, two seconds away from calling Meg and make her do radio for me but there was a knock at the door and lo and behold there was a bunch of squirrels with radio equipment! They love me, they really love me!

VERONICA: ... why the hell are there squirrels... Oh, hey Dick. Are you doing radio? That would explain the squirrels.

DICK: No, I'm not doing radio. I just like to spend my free time conversing with squirrels and electronics.

VERONICA: Well, the squirrels are probably about at your intelligence level. *sounds of indignant squeaking* Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to insult you squirrels.

DICK: Oh hahahaha! Very funny, Mars. Now go away.

VERONICA: Aww, come on, let me help! I used to do radio all the time.

DICK: There's no chance of me saying no and you quietly leaving the room, is there?

VERONICA: What do you think?

DICK: Ugh, fine. Sit down. But try to be less annoying than usual. For our listeners' sake.

VERONICA: Not like I could be more annoying than you.

DICK: Oh you are *so* more annoying than I am. Ask Willow and Anders. They'll back me up.

VERONICA: Whatever. I'm sure there are way more than two people who back me up about you being more annoying.

DICK: I bet those people suck. But whatever, let's move on. The sooner we get this done, the sooner you can leave me alone.

Tis the season...to bicker a lot )

Well, Fandom, that's it for me. I'm sorry you had to put up with the horrendous evil that is Veronica Mars. You should feel bad for me, I'm with her for the next two days. Lucky for me it's New Year's and there's lots of booze around to help me cope. Night all, and don't get too drunk tomorrow! Leave that to me!

[Co-written with the lovely [livejournal.com profile] marsheadtilt]
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello Fandom! Happy Eve before Christmas Eve! Also known as...the twenty-third of December. Also also known as the "Oh crap I forgot to get a gift for so and so" day. It's okay, everybody forgets to get a gift for their mother sometimes. Or their brother. Or their dad but then you remember your dad is on the run from the law and you don't even know where to send the gift in the first place. I'm the only one with that problem? Fine.

Jingle Bells, Ratguy smells... )

Well, Fandom, that's it for me tonight. Enjoy your vacation and if you forgot to buy somebody a gift you best get buying tomorrow. Otherwise you're going to have someone pissed at you. And that doesn't make for a good Christmas. Night, all!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hellllllllo Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH Fandom radio. I have done my pre-finals "get drunk and don't study" ritual and I gotta say this year was better than the rest for the sheer fact that I got to drink with squirrels. You guys should take my finals for me. I'm sure you have just as good of a chance of getting an "A" as I do.

Onto the news!

News news news )

Well, Fandom, it looks like that's all the news for tonight. Good luck on your finals and try not to die of exhaustion or from massive paper cuts or whatever it is nerds die of when they're studying. I don't study. If I don't know it now then I'm never going to learn it. Yeah, that's definitely the way to go. Night!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH Radio and I'm pleased to say my girlfriend is no longer a dog. I don't ever want to play fetch ever again. I think I dislocated my shoulder this week doing that.

Anyways, news!

Laaaaazy Sunday )

Well, that's it for me! I think everyone was sleeping today. Mmmm sleep. That's totally what I'm going to go do next. I love sleep. Night, Fandom!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hi there Fandom, this is Dick Casablancas with WTFH radio and today I have a dog with me. A dog that also happens to be my girlfriend. And when I say "dog" I don't mean "ugly". I literally mean my girlfriend turned into a dog.

*woof woof woof!*

Okay, quiet Annette. I've got radio to do.

*woof woof woof!*

Oh, come on! I played fetch with you earlier and everything. Just stop barking! You are the yappiest dog. Here, go play with the squirrels--but not that squirrel! She's, uh, she's got a crush on me and I think she's the jealous type.

*growly noise*

Look, when you date someone that looks like me you know it comes with consequences. One of them being that I frequently have female admirers both of the human and squirrel persuasion.

Neeeeews! )

*woof woof woof!*

Oh jeez, I woke her up. Crap. I'm going to be up all night playing fetch. Wait a second, that's what I have a robot for! Yes! I might get some sleep after all. Alright, let's go wee!tiny puppy girlfriend. Before the squirrels change their mind about eating you. Night, Fandom!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Okay, okay, stop pushing! Jeez, I come to say hello and you put me to work! Heeeeey. This place looks exactly as I left it. Nice. This should be easy. Just like riding a bike. Notes are in hand, squirrels are drinking, red light is on...time to start the show! Hello, Fandom! This is former student and current alumni Dick Casablancas with WTFH radio! Man, that's fun to say again. It's been a while since I've been in a room with a whole bunch of drunk squirrels. It feels like home.

News! A whole frakking lot of it! )

Dear god, did radio always take this long? I can't believe I did that every freaking week! No wonder I drank so much in high school. Anyways, that's it for me. It was fun reminiscing with these furry woodland creatures. If you're ever in Neptune, I'll give you a place to stay. Night, Fandom!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Howdy Fandom! Okay, I promise that's the last time I use the word howdy. I was just trying it out for kicks but I now realize it was a terrible mistake. Nobody should use that word. Ever. That and the word "joshing". God, I hate when people say that.

Anyways, news!

Let's just pretend I'm witty )

Well, I'm out of paper which means I'm either out of news or the squirrels are striking for higher pay. Either way, I'm leaving. Night!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hey, Fandom! I hope your weekend has been going way, way better than mine. Being sick sucks. Of course having an awesome girlfriend who gave me all the ginger ale and chicken noodle soup I wanted totally made things better. The squirrels, however, haven't done anything special for me in my time of need. You guys suck.

I'll try not to cough on the microphone )

Wow, that's it? Excellent. Time for me to drink some Nyquil and fall asleep. Not in here though. I don't want to wake up to find out that squirrels magic markered my face for fun. Night, all!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
DICK: Oh jeez...the room is a'spinnin...we might have a problem here, squirrels. I see the words on the page but they're all jumbly. It's a little better if a close this eye but worse when I close the other one. Why oh why did I drink all that tequila? Oh right, my brother was here. That's why.

MEG: Dick!

DICK: Whoa, did I pass out already or is Meg really here in a bathrobe?

MEG: The squirrels gave me a note saying that you were in no shape to do radio by yourself and then they practically dragged me here!

DICK: Those squirrels are very astute. Woo, big word!

MEG: I was in the shower when they gave me the note, Dick!

DICK: Awww, did the squirrels see somebody naked?

MEG: Shut up.

DICK: They boldly saw what only Duncan has seen before.

MEG: Shut up!

Loooong news! Where I enjoy talking to myself way too much )

MEG: Are we done? I can go back to the dorms and put on clothes?

DICK: What about my mozzarella sticks?

MEG: Fine. We'll find you some mozzarella sticks first.

DICK: Yay! Night, Fandom!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello, Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH radio. And for those of you wondering about my financial situation, I am still rich! And now I don't have to ask my dad for money every time I want to buy a car! It's good to be me. No, it's great to be me.

News! Not a lot of it. Tiny news! )

Hey, I'm done. Already? Wow! I'll keep with the short trend and just say: Goodnight!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
...because it's stupid, that's why. Playing "How many M&M's can I fit in my mouth" is completely pointless in this situation because I know for a fact I can beat all of you. I mean, can you even fit one M&M in your mouth? Wait...is this some elaborate way to get me to choke? Are you trying to off me, squirrel? Because you're not the first person-slash-thing who has threatened to kill me, believe you me. I know! It's crazy! I'm freaking awesome!

Holy crap, that light thing is on. Hey, Fandom this is Dick Casablancas with WTFH Radio and I have M&M's. And beer! Think it would taste any good if I mixed them together? Naaaaah, I'm not that dumb.

News? News! )

Ew! Sick! M&M's and beer do not taste good together! Say no to beer and chocolate, people! Ugh. Nasty. That's all from me, Fandom. I actually might stay here and party with the squirrels tonight. Not like I've got class tomorrow or anywhere else I have to be. Yeah! Crack open that rum, let's get hammered! See what I'm doing, Johnny? Drinking instead of thinking. It works.

Night, all!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hahahaha! Today is the best day EVER because you all are insane and I'm not! Yes, for once when Dick Casablancas enters a room he automatically isn't the most clueless person in there! I knew it would happen one day! I need to call my brother and rub it in his face! HA! I rule!

I know my name! Wooooo! )

Well, that'll do it for me tonight Fandom! Yes, that's what town you're in. I'm sure I'm going to get my comeuppance eventually but right now I'm just going to enjoy the show. You guys are hilarious!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello Fandom! It's Sunday again and this is Dick Casablancas with WTFH radio. Sunday's kind of suck because even though you get to sleep in you know you've got class the next day and going to the Bob Evans is friggen impossible because it's all clogged up with old church going biddies. Dammit, I'm hungover and all I want is some bacon but nooooooo, Grandma and her 80 biddy friends have got to take for freaking ever with their senior citizen discounts...and um...I forget where I was going with this. It'll come back to me later.

Neeeeeews! )

Nope, still not remembering where I was going with my old person speech. Maybe the point was not to get old. Yeah, that's it. Don't get old. Anyways, I'm out of news tonight and if there was more news I wouldn't report it because I am really freaking tired. Doing nothing takes a lot out of you. Night Fandom!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Helllllllllo Fandom! This is Richard H. Casablancas, Jr. AKA Dick AKA That hot blonde guy AKA That jerk who punched me. I'm glad to see you all had the sense to vote for me again this semester. I feel so loved! It's only a matter of time before the whole world realizes how freaking awesome I am.

All aboard the news train! )

Well, the lack of paper around says that's all the news for tonight! This is Dick Casablancas saying...I have no idea. Think of something cool and pretend I said it. Night!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH Radio! Thank god I had radio tonight. I need lots of rum to get the image of Britney Spears out of my mind. Now there's a sentence I thought I'd never say. Look at that, even the squirrels are shaking their head in shame.


Hey! Shut your furry little mouth! As long as I'm in the this radio station I'll be damned if anyone says anything bad about K-Fed. The man is clearly an evil genius. You're just jealous.

Raaaaaaaadio! )

Anyways, Fandom that's all the news the squirrels have for me tonight. There's school tomorrow and that sucks. Unless you're Willow, then it's awesome! Night all! Don't let Britney Spears haunt your dreams!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
DICK: Good evening Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH radio and with me tonight is-why are the squirrels braiding your hair?

MEG: I don't know, they started doing it when I sat down.

DICK: You're Snow freaking White, I swear to god. With me tonight is always beautiful and totally not Jo, Meg Manning.

MEG: Meg, not Jo. Meg. I hope there's not a Beth and Amy involved here.

DICK: What?

MEG: Never mind, Dick. Why am I here again?

DICK: Hey, you wanted to get familiar with Fandom. I can't think of a better way than to sit in a room with drunk squirrels and report on the doings of the crazy people here.

MEG: The squirrels drink?!

Rum and squirrels and newbies, oh my! )

DICK: So, Meg, did this radio experience help you in your adjustment to Fandom?

MEG: Kids coming out of clouds, squirrels braiding my hair and Sulleys coming out of closets? Yeah, I guess I'm starting to get desensitized to the weird.

DICK: Excellent. We're all out of news Fandom so I will bid you all adieu. This is Dick Casablancas-

MEG: And Meg-Not-Jo-Manning.

DICK: -saying goodnight and don't let the gremlins bite!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello Fandom! This is the first broadcast that I've done in a while where I don't fear for my life! Yay! I'd do a dance in celebration but none of you would be able to see it. But trust me; I've got moves.

I'm surprised cheerleaders haven't invaded the radio station )

So. Much. Cheerleading! I can now die a happy man. Seriously, cheer camp needs to happen more often. Every day should be cheer camp.
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Once again the voice coming from the radio Sunday night sounded like a man doing a poor impression of a woman's voice. Only now the squeaky voice was speaking in a horrible British accent.

Hem hem! Good evening Fandom, this is Headmaster-High-Inquisitor-Queen-Principal-Princess-Grand-Poobah Dolores Jane Umbridge. I have come to report the wrongdoings you nasty little creatures have been engaging in this Sunday. I haven't seen such disrespect since my last job at the Dairy Queen and had a full on M&M Blizzard uprising. NO M&M'S WITHIN FIVE CENTIMETERS OF EACH OTHER! Is that so hard to ask!? Filthy ingrates, the whole lot of you.

New decree! No talking about my tenure at the Dairy Queen. I'm still plucking sprinkles out of my...


Hem hem! )

Such lack of respect! I am the Empress of this school and you all will treat me as such! I am now adding Empress to my title! That's right! This is Empress-Headmaster-High-Inquisitor-Queen-Principal-Princess-Grand-Poobah Dolores Jane Umbridge signing off!

[[livejournal.com profile] umbitch's identity totally stolen with permission. I really want Dairy Queen now.]
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH radio. Yes, me. I managed not to get attacked by any spunky blondes tonight. Well...other than Annette but that was the good kind of attacking. I welcome those.

Sunday Sunday Sunday! )

I think slip and slides should be used to get to and from class. Can you imagine how awesome that would be? Try being in a bad mood when there's a slip and slide in front of you. I dare you.
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
When everyone turned on their radio Sunday night they would hear the voice coming out of it was more high pitched and squeaky than usual. To some, it will sound like a man doing a impression of a squirrel talking. To those who knew better, it will sound like Dick Casablancas doing a very poor impression of a woman's voice..

Surprise, Fandom! This is your all-time favorite alumni, Veronica Mars reporting for WTFH Fandom Radio! Yep, Veronica Mars. You know, blonde, short, spunky. Can never shut the hell up. That's me. If I sound like a man doing a poor impression of a woman's voice that's because I have a cold. And strep throat. And leprosy. *cough* I'm very sick.

You may be wondering where Dick Casablancas is. I totally took him by surprise outside the radio station and tasered him until he submitted to my perky blonde will. His last words before he blacked out were "Oh no! I will never get the chance to tell my listening audience how awesome I think Umbridge is!" So if you've got a problem with tonight's broadcast blame me, Veronica Mars. That's M-A-R-S. Like the planet.

High pitched and squeaky news! )
That's all the news I've got to report tonight. I'm going to put Dick's still unconscious body back in his room and hop a portal back to Neptune. If anyone calls me and asks about this broadcast I probably won't remember it. Because...um...I'm on drugs! Lots of drugs! Drugs you kids haven't even heard of cause you haven't been to college yet!

[ooc: [livejournal.com profile] marsheadtilt's identity totally stolen with permission. And I'm profusely sorry for how crazy I made her]
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Heeeeeelllllllllllloooooo Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH Radio and I have fantabulous news! Rum has knighted me the king of radio tonight! Hasn't it, odd-shaped squirrel? Answer me! And stop shining that light in my eyes!

...oh. That's a lamp. My bad.

The squirrels must wear bowler hats )

There's no more paper here and I'm out of liquor so I guess that means I'm done for the night. This is Dick Casablancas saying "Night, all!"

I'm going to be real pissed if I get in trouble for saying Dick on the radio.
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH radio saying that I have never, nor will I ever, read that stupid Barry Plodder book! That geeky chick from the movies is pretty hot though. I can't wait till she's old enough to be in Maxim.

I'm not too mad at you for being stuck in your rooms all day. It's less news for me to report.


Nothing! The day we have class on Sunday will be the day...I don't know where I was going with that. But it's bad.


Karal is reading in his room when Rikku comes in looking for Aravis. She's probably off making sweet, sweet love to Seely. Will's reading that god forsaken book when Valentine comes by to tell her about his trip back home. Karal's sending e-mail in the computer lab. Probably porn. Isabel turns into a human...er...well, she's not a dog anymore. She tells Steve Peter about how she turned into a dog. Aw, we could have played fetch. Naminé was sketching and talking to her cat. That's not crazy. I really shouldn't say anything. I talk to my robot. Not dirty in any way. She is later joined by Valentine. Jack teaches Cedric about strip poker. Dude. There should totally be a class on that. Dawn sends a few letters and Sam checks up on how she's doing. As you should. Dawn also talks to Rikku about her weekend of torture and kidnap. Well that blows what I did this weekend out of the water. Willow is done with reading and has now moved on to knitting. Hopefully it was some sort of high action knitting that involved explosives. Because that would make it less lame. Billy stops by to chit chat. Aravis isn't getting sexed up like I thought, she's reading that damn book. Seely drops by to bring her flowers. Huh. Might be some dirty coming after all. Sam teases Dean about trying out for cheerleading. Hey, if you've got the ass to rock that skirt then go for it.

Troy and AJ hold tryouts for the musical The Dream Oath. Robin, Bart, Naomi, Annette, and Andrew all audition. AJ convinced Annette to tryout and convinces Charlie to help out backstage. That kid is persuasive. That's the first step to world domination. Watch out for him. Neil gets AJ more excited about working on the show. Robin introduces himself to AJ and Turtle stops by to talk to Troy.

I was in the second floor common room watching a Ratguy movie this afternoon and totally NOT reading. Dick and John Sheppard discuss Ratguy vs. Ratguy Returns because they are geeks. Hey! I'm Dick! And I'm not a geek. Annette tells Sheppard about how she sold cotton candy for flag football. Way to be a giver, honey. Sokka did not get snotted on by dinosaurs. Good for you. Turtle and I talk about Barry Plodder and how we've never read it. Yay us! Turtle and John discuss the new kid Bart and she discusses copyright laws with Sokka. Adam is bummed because he missed out on the dinosaurs. Why?! Me and Annette talk about who I should hit on for Barney's class. I really cannot think of a single person who wouldn't want me to hit on them. I mean, you people have seen me. Hotness. Turtle scolds Annette for wanting to use money for personal gain. Dude, that's the only way I use money. Marco arrives and tells Annette sleep is good. Captain Obvious strikes again. Andrew comes in from reading that book and John, Sokka and Annette comment on his tiredness. Staying up all night reading is no excuse for looking like crap. Adam and Johnny Blaze introduce themselves. Sokka and Adam catch up. Apparently Sokka's been watching his TV and smoochin' his girlfriend and Adam's been holed up sick. I'd rather be Sokka in this case.


People opened stuff today! Yay! Robin opened the Magic Box, Leo opened the Photo Hut, AJ opened Luke's Diner and Millie opened the Book Haven. And nothing happened. Because people were reading that stupid book.

Doogie is reading that dorktastic book in the clinic this morning and Stark is there in the afternoon.

In bar news there's a cat and a Musabi opening the Devil's Nest. Musabi is teasing the kitty at the bar. Not dirty. Wilson came in and ignored the cat. That's not nice. GOB opened up Caritas and he bonds with Barney. I'm honestly not surprised. Mary was talking to Barney about dinos, photos and his class. Mary also talked to GOB about her concussion and guns. That's cheery. Deadpool calls Barney "monk guy" and Barney tries to ignore him. Ignoring Deadpool really isn't an option. Deadpool also buys Mary a drink and they bond because they've been mistaken for prostitutes before. Mary I understand but Deadpool? Were you a prostitute for the blind? Chad stops by for a Corona and discusses flag football with GOB. Setsuna is mopey but talks about alcoholism with Deadpool. Well, he'd be the one I'd discuss that with.

Well Fandom, that's all from me this evening. I'm going to go not read in my room. There is no reading allowed in room 222. So says me. Anyone who does will have their belongings put into Jell-O. I've got connections. Connections named Jim Halpert.
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH radio. Contrary to what you may have seen or heard I did not, repeat, did not run to the radio station flailing and screaming like a girl. It was a figment of all of your imaginations.

Dinosaurs are scary.

Jurassic Radio )

Well, now that the dinosaurs are gone I'm going to head back to the dorms without fear of being eaten. Unless something else has invaded during the time I've been sitting here.

...Will one of you squirrels walk me home?
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Why? Why won't you just solve yourself?! I hate you! Ugh, good evening Fandom. This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH Radio and I'm a wee bit frustrated because I've been working on this damn Rubik's Cube all day and I am nowhere near solving it! I hate this thing and yet, I cannot stop.

I will stop long enough to report the news.

I'm going to find this Rubik guy and punch him )

Yay! I'm done the news! Now I can get back to this freaking plastic cube. I will solve this thing. Mark my words. Night, all!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH radio. Don't check your calendars, it is indeed Wednesday and not Sunday. I'm filling in for Turtle this evening while she's off doing whatever it is Turtles do. I think she just wanted to get out of reporting all this beach party crap. She's probably rubbing her hands together evilly as I speak.

But that's okay! It's July 4th! Let's get hammered and blow stuff up!

O say can you see...I don't know the rest )

Oh my god, I'm out of paper. Does that mean there's no more news left? If you pull out another piece of paper with more news written on it, squirrel, I'll punch you. Punch you until you cry little squirrel tears. Hey...you're getting a little close there buddy. I was just kidding. I've never punched a rodent before in my life. Well...Cam might count as-

Ow! Not the hair!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello Fandom! It's Sunday once again and you're listening to Dick Casablancas on WTFH radio. I come back to you from Neptune a little hungover, a lot tanner and with a busty new stepmom. And I've got this cut on my hand that really f'ing hurts. Be careful when you're jumping fences, people. Unless you're avoiding the law. Then screw it, run like the wind. That's a tip from me to you. Everybody should listen to my tips. They never led me astray before.

A tip for the squirrels: Wear bowler hats. They're cute.

Tip for me: Never say the word cute again.

Onto the news!

Dr. Casablancas has advice for all of you )

Well Fandom, I'm all out of news for tonight which means I am temporarily out of advice. I hope you all wrote down all my words of wisdom because I'm not sure I can repeat it for you. I usually forget what I said right after I say it.

Night Fandom!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello Fand-ow! It's time for another shot, squirrels. I'm beginning to feel my extremities again. What should this one be to? And not to acorns. The last six shots have been to acorns.


God, okay fine. To acorns! Ahhhh. That's much better. This is Dick Casablancas with WTFH radio and I have been drinking heavily. The reason will be discussed later on, I'm sure. My squirrel buddies have the annoying habit of seeing everything. But that's okay. I love you guys. You. And you. And you. Not you, you're a bastard. But the guy behind you, I like him.

Onto the news! The sooner I finish this the sooner I can pass out.

To acorns! )

Well Fandom, that's all from me ton-why are you still looking at me like that? I knew he was going to fly back up!

Anyways, night Fandom! I'm going to go take a few painkillers and go to sleep because tomorrow I'm going to hurt like hell.
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello, Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas bringing you the news that you need to know. The squirrels are handing me a note...apparently they want me to give a shout-out to their Dads'. Why?


Ah, dammit! Seriously? Dammit! Here, take my phone. Call my dad. Tell him I said Happy Father's Day.

...It starts with a 'D' and ends with a 'ad'. I've only got, like, two D's in my phone book. You've got a 50/50 chance of dialing the right number. If there's crying on the other line, that's the wrong number.

Anyways, onto the news!

Wait...can squirrels use phones? )

Well, Fandom that's all I've got for you tonight. Let's see if the squirrel has managed to call my...hey! Where'd that squirrel go? Friggen klepto rodent!
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Good evening Fandom! It's Sunday again and you're listening to me, Dick Casablancas, on WTFH radio. And with me as always are the squirrels. Squirrels, say hello to Fandom!

*lots of squeaking*

Okay, that's enough. This is my show. If people wanted to hear girly squeaking they'd switch over to Ryan Seacrest's show.

Onto what rodents deemed as news!

Squeakity Squeak Squeakum. You owe me a new acorn. )

That's all from me tonight, Fandom. I am now going to go back to the dorms and beg for my girlfriend's forgiveness.


Well, thank you for the encouraging words. If Jim and Annette kick me out of their rooms at the same time I'll crash with you guys. We'll make a slumber party out of it.
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello Fandom! This is Dick Casablancas reporting news for WTFH radio. This is the first of many, many Sundays you will spend listening to me. I know how excited some of you must be. Mackenzie, I'm looking at you. Figuratively. I can't see anybody but squirrels in this room. Not that is a bad thing. These squirrels rock. We should totally go to Vegas, get hammered and yell obscene things at the Cirque De Soliel fruits.

*enthusiastic squeaking*

Except Rosie. He can't go. Because he sucks.

Onto the news!

Who voted for this guy? )


No, if we went to Vegas I would not pay for your hookers. I don't think hookers accept squirrels for clients anyways.

*more squeaking*

Squirrel hookers? I don't know if they exist. It's not exactly something I've gone out and looked for. But hey, if you can find them I'll spare a few bucks for you to have a good time.

Anyways Fandom, that's all from me tonight. I've had my fill of rum and now I'm going to go pass out in my alcove. I hope I can find my alcove. If I accidentally crawl into one of your beds I apologize in advance. Just let me sleep there. I don't snore or anything.
[identity profile] surferboy-09er.livejournal.com
Hello Fandom! You're listening to me, Dick Casablancas on Fandom Radio! I always knew I'd be on the air someday. I just thought it'd be on COPS. I'm liking this little room they stuck me in to do the broadcast. Plenty of rum to drink. And the squirrels are pretty nice too. Except this one squirrel. He squeaked at me angrily earlier. Jeez, tell someone they look like Rosie O'Donnell and they get all huffy. And now he's attempting to glare at me.

....Dude, that's the worst stink eye I've ever seen. Get some eyelids!

Anyways, if chunk-butt would be so kind as to get off my notes I'll start reading the news.

*angry squeaking*

Yeah, back at ya Rosie.

News brought to you by a somewhat sober Dick )
Well Fandom, that's all the news the squirrels have for tonight. It's been som-hold on a sec, Rosie's handing me a piece of paper...

"Dick Casablancas is a big dumb fairy who has no idea how to please a woman."



*door slam*

Fandom High RPG

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