I be likeguidelines
, which be making this the one, the only, Pirate Radio.
Be ye missin' me at all? O' course ye have! I be ruggedly good-lookin' even when I not be a bottle o' rum. Which were the best thing ever
, in case ye be wonderin'.
We be movin' on, though. Bottles o' rum cannot do a broadcast. Believe me, I be tryin' some days.Readin', Writin', 'n 'RithamaticHades
be makin' some manner o' announcement. I be suspectin' it be not "his hair be fabulous
," as me notes say. Mayhaps he be needin' some manner o' pick-me-up, though, in which case, I be sure his hair be terribly appealin' 'n in no way destructive t' the paint on the ceilin' o' the radio studio.Tannim
be eatin' alone today, Isabel
be openin' the library, 'n Yomiko
be thar, too, as good library wenches be. Irulan
--who be havin' some wonderful hats
, by the way--be stoppin' by t' chat about the weekend. Her roommate were turned into a blonde with enormous tracts o' land! Lucky wench. *mutters* Oh? The squirrels be sayin' I should be doin' this.
I be thinkin' the squirrels be gettin' into the rum when I be not watchin'.Forensic Science
--wit' the lovely Molly
as victim o' the week--be learnin' about matchin' wounds t' weapons. It be a fine art, tellin' the difference between a scimitar 'n a broadsword wound. Jes' ask me friend No Arms McCoy. Anyway, the students investigate the scene o' the crime
, then go back t' the lab
'n announce the murderer
. It were no one ye know. *shuffles papers* Wait. It be sayin' the butler did it. Be *that* why Alfred skipped town?Huntin
' be learnin' about the importance o' salt 'n iron. Mixed together properly, they be makin' one heck o' an appetizer. They be gettin' toys
from Professor Winchester--since he be such a cuddly type, I be bettin' the toys be soft 'n pink--then talk about their experience wit' firearms
. Since this be Huntin', I be guessin' that be not a euphemism. Although Chris be askin' Parker t' show him how t' use his
, so...it might be. Anyway, Neil be wonderin' if thar be alternatives t' firearms
offered in the next class. Ye go up against something nasty 'n tryin' t' kill ye with a sharp pokey stick or a firm word or whatever. See how that works fer ye.Spy Tech be rescuin
' a kidnapped wench
. I be not knowin' her name, so I be callin' her Ima Easyncheep. *laughter* I be crackin' meself up. They also be turnin' in thar cameras
from last week's homework 'n Annette? The squirrels still be a mite cranky with ye, wench.
US History be watchin' the Colbert Report
wit' Hades o' the fabulous hair. Willow be wonderin' if Hades be likin' her fruit basket
, which I be assumin' be actually involvin' fruit as it be Willow 'n I might be a pirate but thar be some places even I be not comfortable going, and Blair be flailin' like a flailin' thing that flails
*pause* Ye need t' stop watchin' terrible television in yer time off, me hearties.
' talks about makin' rhubarb pie. Or engineerin', but I be thinkin' mine be more interestin'. They be workin' on homework
--when they be not passin' notes, Bridge 'n Willow
--'n then Bridge
be apologizin' fer bein' giant class-skippin' slackers last week.
Aye, we do know everything.Extraterr....Alien things Class
be havin' Kaylee speakin'. She be the cutest alien ever, aye? Creative Writin
' be speakin' o' creatin' decent characters
. I be thinkin' Hermione be havin' a lot t' add t' that converastion, aye? Especially after last weekend. Speakin' o' characters, Nova
be bringin'...little stuffed friends wit' them t' class.
...that might be a euphemism.
Movin' on! El Mariachi
be havin' office hours, though he be alone. Mayhap he can be writin' a sad, sad song about that. It should talk about drinkin'. And oranges.
More things should try t' rhyme wit' oranges. Like, um, kumquat. And llamas.
They be totally rhymin'. Hush. But not t' worry--no one be visitin' Sakura
or Doc Venture
either. Though Doc Venture be hidin', so mayhaps that be what suited him. Be ye a hooker this weekend? It were goin' around, apparently.Deadpool
be gettin' visited by Schrodinger, Conner-who-be-spellin'-his-name-wrong, 'n Yon...dom-mee. Mayhaps that could rhyme wit' orange-eee, too.Roomin'
Aeryn 'n John be wakin' up, as ye do. And John's "Bertram
" be demanding. *papers shuffle* That might be a euphemism. In possibly related news, Nova's plush turtle be able t' do backflips
. I be hearin' that Bridge be chargin' extra fer makin' his, er, turtle, do that this weekend. Tori's stuffed dolphin...
*more papers shuffle*
Ye aren't even tryin' tonight, are ye? Tori's "stuffed dolphin
" be "makin' noises" 'n wakin' Angela up. Thar be no notes indicatin' if that be a euphemism, either, so I be sayin' yes. Naomi's "flotter doll
"--which I be thinkin' be somethin' ye could pick up at the Sin, if ye be so inclined--be wakin' her up, which be almost as worrisome as Weiss's smokin' monkey
. A few weeks o' penicillin'll clear that right up, matey. Have Parker get tested, too, jes' in case. Mayhaps Pippi be needin' some as well--wenches normally be not havin
*squirrelly chittering* Oh, me mistake. That be an actual
monkey. Not a euphemism.Neil
--who be not Doc Wilson
--be makin' breakfast on third floor this mornin' before gettin' attacked by Nova's "plushie
." Lucky Neil. Billy
be not t' Nova's "plushie's" taste. Be not worried, Billy. Not everyone be meant t' have sex in their lives. Oh, wait. Maybe this Ami
wench will help ye out!
Walter be movin
'. I be not blamin' him. Pippi
both be offerin' t' help, which be mighty charitable. Thar be no word whether either o' them will be bringin' any manner o' euphemism--like, say, Annette's "evil pig
Ander's "action figgers
"--ye be havin' more than one? I be thinkin' that were only one old student's problem--be bogglin' Tori. Ye were showin' yer action figgers t' the wench? Nicely played, Anders!
Hunter be attackin' Dean's rock'em, sock'em robots
. If that be the same thing as an "action figger", then that be no way t' be celebratin' a birthday (though Alec
be tryin' to make it a happy one). Tannim's "mustangs
" be racin', Valentine's balls
be chasin' him 'n that jes' can't be comfortable, 'n Setsuna's plushies
be rollin' in her underwear. Ye all be sick, sick people. Zuko's headless bear be freakin' Mel out
. As it should be. *shuffling paper* Oh, it be not supposed t' be like that. And Zuko be not happy
at the change o' events. Now the wench be needin' a new, non-burned comforter.
Lana be studyin
', Parker 'n Jack be plottin
be watchin' her Obi-Wans fight each other, 'n Peter-who-be-a-Parker
be sewin' himself a lovely frock. Zero, Isabel 'n Teddy be stoppin' in t' watch.
Down at the shootin' range
, Jack be tryin' to shoot wit' one eye closed. Irulan
'n Professor Harrington
be joinin' him.
Seely be runnin' cheerleader practice
. I be not
wantin' t' know why. Buffy
be puttin' people on teams. Thar be a joke about teams 'n Seely playin' fer the wrong one, but I be too mature t' make it. Tori 'n Annette are happy t' be together
. And if ye be wearin' bitty skirts 'n mayhaps hittin' each other wit' pillows, well, I be happy too. Molly 'n Phoebe
be deceptively cute, River
be nursin' a cold 'n D'anna be wearin' her own underwear. Be this normally somethin' that is a question, wench? She also be wantin' t' throw Nadia
into the air. Watch yer underwear. Lana 'n Phoebe
be apologizin' t' each other--no word on their underwear--and thar be general warmin
', 'n gratefulness
fer bein' thwarted in tryin' t' take over the world.
I love this town. Anyway. Nadia
be havin' pink pony issues
--be that another way o' talkin' about yer time o' the month?--and Seely were chased by a horny puppet
. Aren't we all, metaphorically speakin'? *more papers shuffle* Oh, it's
an actual puppet
. That be strange.
River be thinkin' so
, too. She be havin' jes' about enough o' today 'n is hidin' wit' Blair. I be thinkin' she shouldn't be hearin' about Nadia tryin' t' dye her pink pony
. So...not another term fer a woman's time. If it be what I'm thinkin', it be bold t' try t' do that in a common room. Annette
be helpin' 'n introducin' Billy t' someone called Wormy
. Billy be gettin' laid yet! Especially since he be thinkin' pink ponies
be mythical. Poor boy. But so did Anders
, 'n he dated Cally fer a while. Surely she let ye see her pink pony? He be whippin
his "action figgers
" 'n stunnin' the whole room. Setsuna
in particular be not happy.
Tori's "flipper" and Nadia's "pink pony" meet
, and so do
Tori's...pet 'n Pippi's 'n then
Tori offers t' lend hers
t' Billy 'n I think I be needin' t' have a nice long lie-down. In news that be much less interestin', Tori 'n Annette
decide t' go t' Dean's party 'n Broots
pops his head in t' say hello.
In a different common rooms, Teddy 'n Chad
be cuddly. Thar be no notes whether thar be "action figgers" involved. Thar be balls on the second floor, though! It be seemin' that Valentine
still be outsmarted by them.Revelin'All 'n Sundries
be gettin' a new Squishy machine any day now, thanks t' Sparky Repairs
, so stop yer twitchin', Lana be spendin' most o' her shift productively on the phone, 'n Empire Records
be playin' glam rock o' the 70s, which be some o' my favorite non-shanty music.Ami
be readin' in the park 'n a reporter
who be not a squirrel be thar too. Parker be talkin' t' him. Anything she might be sayin' about me lack o' journalistic integrity be completely true.Balthier
be needin' his weapons cleaned because o' the pie thing yesterday, the Doctor be needin' his dosage upped because he were playin' chess wit' a stuffed pink rhinoscerous
, which be too involvin' t' notice Leo 'n his puppet
be thinkin' the Doctor's behavior be insane, though Rosette
be offerin' other games. I be not thinkin' it were the game that be the strange bit), 'n then Rose be stoppin' by t' see the inside o' the TARDIS
be serving Yuki
drinks at the Devil's Nest, and over at Caritas, Leo be wonderin
' what be goin' on in the lounge. It be a birthday party
fer Dean--complete wit' presents
'n a birthday boy
'n lots o' talkin
' 'n ye be not invited because ye be old 'n crusty-lookin'. 'n I be spendin' enough time on pirate ships t' be an excellent judge o' crusty. In non-birthday news, Isabel be talkin' t' Jarod
' GOB, as all girls wit' a lick o' sense--not ye, Becky--should do.
Thar also be a frog the size o' a house
. In case ye be wantin' t' know.
The clinic be quiet day
, which be disappointin'. Mayhaps people will be droppin' by fer shots, wit' all the talk o' pink ponies 'n "action figgers" 'n the like.
That be all from the Crow's Nest! Tomorrow ye'll be gettin' t' vote fer yer favorite broadcasters, so until then keep yer eye out fer the Matey-Wit'-the-Hat 'n have a good night!