[identity profile] t-servo.livejournal.com
Servo: "Holy hamdingers, Ash-man, I think we finally got the system to broadcast."

Ash: "Ha! Gimme that other microphone, gumball-baby, and why don't we get this show on the road, huh?"

Servo: "Yes, your magnificent chin-ness. Right away."

There is a slight pause before a trumpet fanfare... distinctly out of tune.

Ash: "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! This is former Coach Ash, along with my shiny red buddy Tom Servo, bringing you a very special radio broadcast from the Satellite of Love."

Servo: "Well, hey, why don't we start with the stuff that nobody cares about, huh? You guessed it, classes. So, there was Advanced Criminal Just-as-boring-as-ever, Music to Fall Asleep in Class To, Political Complaining-Won't-Make-It-Less-Dull-Even-With-A-Guest-Speaker, Chemis-try-harder-and-it-might-be-fun, Languages and Creature Languages both are equally sucktacular."

Ash: "And coming round second, there's Speech classes, for which I apologize to all the students that they have to deal with that old crazy CJ. Ha! Just kidding... or am I? Anyhows, Doc Griss covers sex cultures, which obviously needs to cover me, as my sex life is a culture unto itself, baby. The Jung and the Restless covers dreams, which is probably why everyone was sleeping through it, and ditto goes for Psychology. History of Who-The-Hell-Cares watched a movie, Arthurian Traditions has a test, how sad for you, and a big ole the Teacher doesn't care day for business classes. I'm almost grateful to be stuck in space, a report like that."

Servo: "Yeah, and things don't get any better going onto the various machinations of you idiots not involving classes. Artie opens Caritas, and somehow this is newsworthy. Dear god you people lead boring lives. Crichton is a sexual disease, according to these notes, and Mr. John STD talked to Anders about... hooo mama! Stirrup sex with his girlfriend Cally. How about you leave those conversations for behind closed doors, pal. Not that I don't appreciate the mental imagery and all, but people were trying to eat around you at the time, you know?"

Ash: "And continuing the lunchroom debauchery, the notes indicate a Walter, Pippi, and Victor threesome. Kids, I don't know who you are, but if you're having sex in the lunchroom, you should at least wait until ice cream sundae day, and you can quote the King on that. Sheesh."

Servo: "And while people were deflowering each other in the lunch room, Veronica and Lilly scored themselves some floral goods of their own. But not from each other. I'm sure they're just friends, Bow-chicka-Wow-wow."

Ash: "Isabel was cranky, probably PMSing, and Cam Mitchell made the mistake of talking to PMS girl."

Servo: "Oh Crunch, how stupid can you be? At least I hope not stupid enough to be behind the assinine Pick a Theme ballots posted in the dorms, which is totally pointless. The best theme is always underpants. Lots and lots of underpants."

Ash: "Oh look, Tex is mayor and arguing with people. I am unsurprised at her arguing, but terrified that you folks let her get into a position of power. She may be pretty, but she's cold as ice, knuckleheads. And... Doc Griss has graphic, graphic, sex with the Ice Queen. Hey, maybe some red hot lovin' would melt her a bit. Good goin', Doc. Oh, hey, Doctor Carter is off in a galaxy far, far away... Hey, if you hear this, would you mind swingin' by the Sattelite? I could us a visit of the conjugal type, baby."

Servo: "Now that I'm already feeling the need to vomit, I bring you news that Zordon plays with mud. Nadia falls asleep after something about Artie and Marty. Hopefully that something doesn't involve rhyming-name man love. Even though I'm sure all the girls just love the concept of boykissing. Blech."

Ash: "Speaking of kissing, apparently Geoff kisses Paige goodbye, as the guy took off for greener pastures or something. Speaking of green, Rory opened the library, Parker delivers photos, Blair looks for medical books, Angela and Rory talk about tripping, probably in the drug sense, and Peter--"

Servo: "Peter, Pumpkin-Eater talks to Rory-Whorey-Banana-Fanna-Fo-Forey and the Newspaper meets to discuss the next issue of their litter box liner. Marty ate some special brownies, and that's special in the Mary Jane sense, not the rides the short bus sense."

Ash: "Ha! As if brownies ride buses. Pippi visits Sparky Repairs, Nadia runs into the post-brownie Marty, and Marty asks Giles to sniff his pine tree."

Servo: "Okay, now that's just sick. I'm skipping on to the point where Pippi recieves a proposal from Freud Edmund Blackadder or something. These notes are confusing, and I have no idea who the hell either of those skeezewads are. I'm sure you folks do. You should wish them many happy returns. And then, as if he wasn't in enough of an altered state of insanity already, Marty purchases some pot."

Ash: "That's a pot for his plant, you clear-domed knucklehead. At the emergency clinic, Trevor is all alone, Phoebe talks to Doctor Not Belthazor--"

Servo: "Doctor Not Belthazor? What kind of evil parents do you have to have to get saddled with a name like that? Ouch. Seriously... ouch. Speaking of ouch, Blair stopped in to the clinic. Though he apparently was physically not ouchie. Who knows?"

Ash: "Veronica visited Susan, probably to talk about Veronica's nymphomania. She slept with any girls in a dark alley recently? And if so, can someone mail me a video copy? Oh, on the subject of sleeping, Cally and Angel wake up together. Wait, I thought Cally was with that Anders moron? Maybe Veronica's nymphomania is spreading?"

Servo: "Learn to read, Captain Chins-a-lot. Callisto woke up with Angel."

Ash: "Oh, right, big thighs. How could I forget?"

Servo: "Because you have a small raisin for a brain, that's how. Anyways, Veronica and Piper met up, as do Doug Somebody and that Angel guy, Aeryn bumps into Crunch Buttsteak, and much grinding commenced."

Ash: "Only in your imagination, you beautiful pervy robot, you. Belthazor made a list, checked it twice, and probably sure as hell knows who is naughty or nice. Nadia insomniacs it up on the fifth floor, and Blair is very happy about everything. And that's happy in the sense of having an erection, folks. Come on, a good kid should be able to get someone to take care of that real fast, shouldn't he?"

Servo: "On a subject not involving massive hard-ons, at least dear god I hope so, Lana talked to Isabel, and so does Janet, and Xander. Okay, maybe if it was Xander, I might be able to... oh my gods, the mental pictures, Ahhhhhh!"

Ash: "Well, there is definitely none of that going on with Al and Ed, who are all brotherly today. So there is definitely NONE OF THAT FORMER SUBJECT." There is a short cough. "Alanna flees for her life, Angel waits for Logan, Cam Mitchell and Molly have some surrogate sibling happy time, Pippi wakes Nadia up, and Lana reads something."

Servo: "Xander orders something for Jaye. My guess is a sex toy. Or underpants. Speaking of underpants, Park-your-stuff-in-the-no-loading-zone got a visit from Wee Lee Adama. Aeryn Sun-of-a-female-dog got a visit from John STD, Angela Chase-Away-The-Bad-Men falls into the lure of the special brownies, and Parker-Marker-Pudding-And-Pie visted Bridge-Over-Troubled-Waters."

Ash: "That just about wraps it up for us, you unfortunate suckers. Last news items we got here are that the second floor common room nearly explodes with activity."

Servo: "Activity involving Zero-My-Hero in nothing but a towel. Oh, and Super-Cally-Frajalistic and Anders-Panders discuss stirrups, syrups, and the internet. Hot."

Ash: "And one last bit just in, Lyta is crashed out in the third floor common room. Guess she likes to hear loud obnoxious noises from beneath her."

Servo: "All the news thats fit to announce, and a lot of stuff that wasn't even that. Alright you dickweeds, this is Tom Servo--"

Ash: "And Ash, signing off from the Satellite of Love. Don't miss us. Cause we sure as hell don't miss any of you."

Servo: "Push the button, Ashley."

Ash: "Shut your pie-hole, Domey."

*pop-fizz*
[identity profile] t-servo.livejournal.com
Servo: "Holy hamdingers, Ash-man, I think we finally got the system to broadcast."

Ash: "Ha! Gimme that other microphone, gumball-baby, and why don't we get this show on the road, huh?"

Servo: "Yes, your magnificent chin-ness. Right away."

There is a slight pause before a trumpet fanfare... distinctly out of tune.

Ash: "Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! This is former Coach Ash, along with my shiny red buddy Tom Servo, bringing you a very special radio broadcast from the Satellite of Love."

Servo: "Well, hey, why don't we start with the stuff that nobody cares about, huh? You guessed it, classes. So, there was Advanced Criminal Just-as-boring-as-ever, Music to Fall Asleep in Class To, Political Complaining-Won't-Make-It-Less-Dull-Even-With-A-Guest-Speaker, Chemis-try-harder-and-it-might-be-fun, Languages and Creature Languages both are equally sucktacular."

Ash: "And coming round second, there's Speech classes, for which I apologize to all the students that they have to deal with that old crazy CJ. Ha! Just kidding... or am I? Anyhows, Doc Griss covers sex cultures, which obviously needs to cover me, as my sex life is a culture unto itself, baby. The Jung and the Restless covers dreams, which is probably why everyone was sleeping through it, and ditto goes for Psychology. History of Who-The-Hell-Cares watched a movie, Arthurian Traditions has a test, how sad for you, and a big ole the Teacher doesn't care day for business classes. I'm almost grateful to be stuck in space, a report like that."

Servo: "Yeah, and things don't get any better going onto the various machinations of you idiots not involving classes. Artie opens Caritas, and somehow this is newsworthy. Dear god you people lead boring lives. Crichton is a sexual disease, according to these notes, and Mr. John STD talked to Anders about... hooo mama! Stirrup sex with his girlfriend Cally. How about you leave those conversations for behind closed doors, pal. Not that I don't appreciate the mental imagery and all, but people were trying to eat around you at the time, you know?"

Ash: "And continuing the lunchroom debauchery, the notes indicate a Walter, Pippi, and Victor threesome. Kids, I don't know who you are, but if you're having sex in the lunchroom, you should at least wait until ice cream sundae day, and you can quote the King on that. Sheesh."

Servo: "And while people were deflowering each other in the lunch room, Veronica and Lilly scored themselves some floral goods of their own. But not from each other. I'm sure they're just friends, Bow-chicka-Wow-wow."

Ash: "Isabel was cranky, probably PMSing, and Cam Mitchell made the mistake of talking to PMS girl."

Servo: "Oh Crunch, how stupid can you be? At least I hope not stupid enough to be behind the assinine Pick a Theme ballots posted in the dorms, which is totally pointless. The best theme is always underpants. Lots and lots of underpants."

Ash: "Oh look, Tex is mayor and arguing with people. I am unsurprised at her arguing, but terrified that you folks let her get into a position of power. She may be pretty, but she's cold as ice, knuckleheads. And... Doc Griss has graphic, graphic, sex with the Ice Queen. Hey, maybe some red hot lovin' would melt her a bit. Good goin', Doc. Oh, hey, Doctor Carter is off in a galaxy far, far away... Hey, if you hear this, would you mind swingin' by the Sattelite? I could us a visit of the conjugal type, baby."

Servo: "Now that I'm already feeling the need to vomit, I bring you news that Zordon plays with mud. Nadia falls asleep after something about Artie and Marty. Hopefully that something doesn't involve rhyming-name man love. Even though I'm sure all the girls just love the concept of boykissing. Blech."

Ash: "Speaking of kissing, apparently Geoff kisses Paige goodbye, as the guy took off for greener pastures or something. Speaking of green, Rory opened the library, Parker delivers photos, Blair looks for medical books, Angela and Rory talk about tripping, probably in the drug sense, and Peter--"

Servo: "Peter, Pumpkin-Eater talks to Rory-Whorey-Banana-Fanna-Fo-Forey and the Newspaper meets to discuss the next issue of their litter box liner. Marty ate some special brownies, and that's special in the Mary Jane sense, not the rides the short bus sense."

Ash: "Ha! As if brownies ride buses. Pippi visits Sparky Repairs, Nadia runs into the post-brownie Marty, and Marty asks Giles to sniff his pine tree."

Servo: "Okay, now that's just sick. I'm skipping on to the point where Pippi recieves a proposal from Freud Edmund Blackadder or something. These notes are confusing, and I have no idea who the hell either of those skeezewads are. I'm sure you folks do. You should wish them many happy returns. And then, as if he wasn't in enough of an altered state of insanity already, Marty purchases some pot."

Ash: "That's a pot for his plant, you clear-domed knucklehead. At the emergency clinic, Trevor is all alone, Phoebe talks to Doctor Not Belthazor--"

Servo: "Doctor Not Belthazor? What kind of evil parents do you have to have to get saddled with a name like that? Ouch. Seriously... ouch. Speaking of ouch, Blair stopped in to the clinic. Though he apparently was physically not ouchie. Who knows?"

Ash: "Veronica visited Susan, probably to talk about Veronica's nymphomania. She slept with any girls in a dark alley recently? And if so, can someone mail me a video copy? Oh, on the subject of sleeping, Cally and Angel wake up together. Wait, I thought Cally was with that Anders moron? Maybe Veronica's nymphomania is spreading?"

Servo: "Learn to read, Captain Chins-a-lot. Callisto woke up with Angel."

Ash: "Oh, right, big thighs. How could I forget?"

Servo: "Because you have a small raisin for a brain, that's how. Anyways, Veronica and Piper met up, as do Doug Somebody and that Angel guy, Aeryn bumps into Crunch Buttsteak, and much grinding commenced."

Ash: "Only in your imagination, you beautiful pervy robot, you. Belthazor made a list, checked it twice, and probably sure as hell knows who is naughty or nice. Nadia insomniacs it up on the fifth floor, and Blair is very happy about everything. And that's happy in the sense of having an erection, folks. Come on, a good kid should be able to get someone to take care of that real fast, shouldn't he?"

Servo: "On a subject not involving massive hard-ons, at least dear god I hope so, Lana talked to Isabel, and so does Janet, and Xander. Okay, maybe if it was Xander, I might be able to... oh my gods, the mental pictures, Ahhhhhh!"

Ash: "Well, there is definitely none of that going on with Al and Ed, who are all brotherly today. So there is definitely NONE OF THAT FORMER SUBJECT." There is a short cough. "Alanna flees for her life, Angel waits for Logan, Cam Mitchell and Molly have some surrogate sibling happy time, Pippi wakes Nadia up, and Lana reads something."

Servo: "Xander orders something for Jaye. My guess is a sex toy. Or underpants. Speaking of underpants, Park-your-stuff-in-the-no-loading-zone got a visit from Wee Lee Adama. Aeryn Sun-of-a-female-dog got a visit from John STD, Angela Chase-Away-The-Bad-Men falls into the lure of the special brownies, and Parker-Marker-Pudding-And-Pie visted Bridge-Over-Troubled-Waters."

Ash: "That just about wraps it up for us, you unfortunate suckers. Last news items we got here are that the second floor common room nearly explodes with activity."

Servo: "Activity involving Zero-My-Hero in nothing but a towel. Oh, and Super-Cally-Frajalistic and Anders-Panders discuss stirrups, syrups, and the internet. Hot."

Ash: "And one last bit just in, Lyta is crashed out in the third floor common room. Guess she likes to hear loud obnoxious noises from beneath her."

Servo: "All the news thats fit to announce, and a lot of stuff that wasn't even that. Alright you dickweeds, this is Tom Servo--"

Ash: "And Ash, signing off from the Satellite of Love. Don't miss us. Cause we sure as hell don't miss any of you."

Servo: "Push the button, Ashley."

Ash: "Shut your pie-hole, Domey."

*pop-fizz*
[identity profile] names-ash.livejournal.com
No one would have believed that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space. No one could have dreamed that we were being scrutinized as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few men even considered the possibility of life on other planets. And yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely, they drew their plans against us.

And today, on this unsuspecting Thanksgiving Day, the Martians have invaded our fair island.

I report from the sanctuary of the crow's nest at the Echoll's, not knowing if anyone can hear the King, or if any of you are still alive.

After seeing the heat rays bursting the park into flames, I fear that perhaps nothing can stop these vile alien machines. Not even the hotel'sThanksgiving Feast could stand to their might. I shall always be haunted by the image of the burninated remains of so many poor souls.

A regular pair of heroes, Tex and Zhaan shot themselves one of the creatures, only to succumb to the assault from a second. God rest their brave, brave souls.

Katie Lockley was fried while makin' Turkey sammiches, the poor girl. Allison Dub... Doob... Doesn't-matter-cause-she's-dead-now's Dinner party is ruined by screaming firey Martian death, as well.

Death count rise with Luke's Diner going up in screamy-death flames, adding the Gilmores, a Dragon, and the Cool Logan to our growing list of the lost souls. Doc Grissom and the Ice Queen didn't stand a chance, either. Poor bastards.

Maia being slightly delusional about the weather, was trampled to death by a particularly malicious Martian. This particular Martian also ate cranberry sauce Sharon Valerii, made Anakin Skywalker smile before stabbifying the mulleted cuddleslut to death, andsat on Caritas crushing all within to death.

In what I think may be our only hope for survival, Callynanders appear to be forming a massive force-field of cute that the Martians cannot seem to penetrate. In fact, long exposure to this field has the Martians curling up into diabetic emocomas.

That, folks, is our only hope. Be cute, or find Cally and Anders and hide behind them. I... I can see the eye of one of the Martians poking up at me now, kiddos. It was nice knowing you. Hail to the King, babies.

*garbled sounds of a chainsaw and a loud scream*


*long pause*


*more silence*


*hysterical laughing*

Did you kids really buy that? Holy crap. April, May, June, July, August, September, October, AND November fools on all of you. Sheesh. Stupid Knuckleheads. Today was wacky boring. I had to do something to make this broadcast interesting. Go stuff yourselves with leftovers. Or, if you prefer, do some stuffing of a different kind. I'm gonna go hide in my hotel room now. G'night, screwheads.
[identity profile] names-ash.livejournal.com
No one would have believed that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space. No one could have dreamed that we were being scrutinized as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. Few men even considered the possibility of life on other planets. And yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely, they drew their plans against us.

And today, on this unsuspecting Thanksgiving Day, the Martians have invaded our fair island.

I report from the sanctuary of the crow's nest at the Echoll's, not knowing if anyone can hear the King, or if any of you are still alive.

After seeing the heat rays bursting the park into flames, I fear that perhaps nothing can stop these vile alien machines. Not even the hotel'sThanksgiving Feast could stand to their might. I shall always be haunted by the image of the burninated remains of so many poor souls.

A regular pair of heroes, Tex and Zhaan shot themselves one of the creatures, only to succumb to the assault from a second. God rest their brave, brave souls.

Katie Lockley was fried while makin' Turkey sammiches, the poor girl. Allison Dub... Doob... Doesn't-matter-cause-she's-dead-now's Dinner party is ruined by screaming firey Martian death, as well.

Death count rise with Luke's Diner going up in screamy-death flames, adding the Gilmores, a Dragon, and the Cool Logan to our growing list of the lost souls. Doc Grissom and the Ice Queen didn't stand a chance, either. Poor bastards.

Maia being slightly delusional about the weather, was trampled to death by a particularly malicious Martian. This particular Martian also ate cranberry sauce Sharon Valerii, made Anakin Skywalker smile before stabbifying the mulleted cuddleslut to death, andsat on Caritas crushing all within to death.

In what I think may be our only hope for survival, Callynanders appear to be forming a massive force-field of cute that the Martians cannot seem to penetrate. In fact, long exposure to this field has the Martians curling up into diabetic emocomas.

That, folks, is our only hope. Be cute, or find Cally and Anders and hide behind them. I... I can see the eye of one of the Martians poking up at me now, kiddos. It was nice knowing you. Hail to the King, babies.

*garbled sounds of a chainsaw and a loud scream*


*long pause*


*more silence*


*hysterical laughing*

Did you kids really buy that? Holy crap. April, May, June, July, August, September, October, AND November fools on all of you. Sheesh. Stupid Knuckleheads. Today was wacky boring. I had to do something to make this broadcast interesting. Go stuff yourselves with leftovers. Or, if you prefer, do some stuffing of a different kind. I'm gonna go hide in my hotel room now. G'night, screwheads.
[identity profile] names-ash.livejournal.com
I GOT SEXED, BITCHES.

*cough* This is DJ Ash, reporting in over the airwaves for your knuckleheads news update. You got a problem with that? Go cry yourself into an emocoma in your own private rooms. Or maybe even in your own little private bubbles that I keep seeing popping up in public places. What the hell is up with that, kids? Seriously. Weird.

*sound of elephants trumpeting, followed by an explosion, then a hearty Ash laugh*

You want a witty line before I go into the first section of my broadcast? TOO BAD! I am not of the caring type tonight. All my love goes out to one Doctor Carter, or my sweet little Eighth. Everyone else? Bite me. Though you can bite me anytime too, Doctor Carter. Please. Call me?

*sounds of kissing, and some excited shouts of "Yes!"*

"Give Me Sugar, Baby!"

Did I mention I got some? I did. I got some last night. Some real good somethin' somethin'. She was like a machine, kids. Whooo-boy. Wow. Let me tell you. Amazing. Really amazing. Damn good. Par Excellence and stuff. Wham-Bam-Thank You Doctor Carter, again. Whoooooo-weeeeeee.

Skywalker, Texas Crossdresser got a special present today from an admirer. How nice of the freakboy.

Speaking of freaks, One ugly ass goldfish gets delivered to the Town bicycle. Maybe she's giving it out for pets, now?

CJ and Adam have a movie night. Innit that just precious. I wonder if Adam pulled that ole hole in the popcorn bag trick, heh.

"Does she have a full name, and if so how come why aren't we embarassing her with it" Cally takes a nap. And then gets awoken by her boyfriend, Samuel T. Anders, and they get nekkid! SCORE ONE FOR THE HOME TEAM, YEAH! *Cheering* ...I wonder what the T stands for, though. Tiberius?

Logan-who-was-never-any-sort-of-transmogrif... transmorgr... Screw it, the Uncool Logan and Allie had a romantic dinner. Given that it's Thanksgivin' season, I wonder if there was any stuffin' of the old turkey, if you get where I'm going.

Draco and Lily cooked themselves up a hot stupid helping of angstcakes. Veronica Mars, quietly trying to campaign for the position of new town bicycle, "talked" with a half-naked Rogue. "Talked." Riiiiiiiiight.

Sara Sidle, whom I like to think of as Cheetara -- you know "Thunder, Thunder, Thundercats... HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" -- She has a date with Doc Cockroach himself, a.k.a Gil Grissom.


Alright... moving on to our next segment...

::sound of School Bell, followed by snoring::

"Academics and the Suckers Who Actually Go To Class"

Kids... do you expect me to care about you classes, honestly?

What met today? Why, there was:
Music One-o-Dumb, Criminal Just-us-idiots, Journa-frakking-boring-lism, Quantum Phy-sucks, Biolo-gee-this-is-dull, Full-of-crap-osophy, Wanguages and Pussy... cats, Talking class, Blow-Stuff-Up Class, Criminolollogy, That class that teaches Women their true role in the home and kitchen, Starting a Small Failure, and the amazing disappearing Arthurian Crapsticks.

Oh, and Art Students got a break cause their teacher is the greatest man alive.

Study Hall report, which is much shorter than usual, because you kids are really damn boring today.

John and Rogue talk about going to Karaoke. My eyelids droop from the sheer boring thought of that conversation. YAWN, knuckleheads. YAWN.

Mother-Son chatting about the holidays. How cute.

The Cool Logan talks with Cole "Would lose a fight with Tina" Turner about evidence and then plays the worst game of charades ever with Beka "Space Hussy" Valentine.

Moving on to the final part of my broadcast tonight...

*trumpet fanfare, and then loud blender whirring, followed by a squelchy splat*

"I'd Drink That For A Dollar!"

Here it is, our very special section of all the random crap that doesn't fit anywhere else, slammed and blended together for your ease of consumption.

Shane "More Woman Than a Man Can Handle" McCutcheon got herself a room in the TARDIS. Ain't that awesome.

Lozenge, Kazoo, and Pavarotti repaired a fridge at the emporium. Bless their wee little hearts. Tex, former love of my life, wants strange things. This is unsurprising to the King.

Even though Red isn't crazy, it's like he ran one of those ads, where he says he's crazy, and has mad crazy sales, and mad crazy prices, cause Jesus' tits, there was a lot of customers there today.

Jake "I can grow boobies, so the King has no idea why I leave the house" Gavin was incoherent at Medusa "I'm scary enough that the King would need to put a bag over my head to have sex with me" St. Clair.

Tex makes a deposit... in her pants. Just kidding. It was in the bank. But I'm sure she was wearing pants at the time, maybe. So perhaps she still made a deposit in her pants, ha!

Callisto and Aeryn go at it. Sadly with clothes.

There is a Teddy Bear in the Dean's office.


Red Hot Pestilential Conversation Action between Crowley and Kiki. I swear, one of these days, those two are just going to make out like crazy.

Maia talks with the Blue Chick about stuff that would possibly be interesting if I cared. Which I don't. YAWN AGAIN. *sound of toilet flushing*

GOB goes to Sin. That pretty much sums it up. Karaoke is DAMN popular!

The Emo Kids are at it again. I plan on gatecrashing them with strippers sometime. Just to see what would happen. The other club of the day, as opposed to the one I saw Miss Sidle hitting a baby seal with, was The Science Club, where the geeks made tator cannons. Not as cool as tator tots. Mmmm, tator tots.

Also, The library was on fire.

In the sense that a lot of things were happening. It wasn't actually burning.

Sadly.

Our final note?
*compltely deadpan* Zee Oh Em Gee. Harvest Festival. Woo. That's what I have written here, folks. Whatever.

Well, that's all the news that they saw fit to throw on my desk here... If you did something you thought was so very special and it didn't get announced? Cry about it, knucklehead. The King makes the rules around here, And I rule with a godsdamn IRON FIST, SCREWHEADS!

Doctor Carter? Call Me? Please?

This is DJ Ash, signing off.

*whirring beeping sound of Pac-Man Dying*
[identity profile] names-ash.livejournal.com
I GOT SEXED, BITCHES.

*cough* This is DJ Ash, reporting in over the airwaves for your knuckleheads news update. You got a problem with that? Go cry yourself into an emocoma in your own private rooms. Or maybe even in your own little private bubbles that I keep seeing popping up in public places. What the hell is up with that, kids? Seriously. Weird.

*sound of elephants trumpeting, followed by an explosion, then a hearty Ash laugh*

You want a witty line before I go into the first section of my broadcast? TOO BAD! I am not of the caring type tonight. All my love goes out to one Doctor Carter, or my sweet little Eighth. Everyone else? Bite me. Though you can bite me anytime too, Doctor Carter. Please. Call me?

*sounds of kissing, and some excited shouts of "Yes!"*

"Give Me Sugar, Baby!"

Did I mention I got some? I did. I got some last night. Some real good somethin' somethin'. She was like a machine, kids. Whooo-boy. Wow. Let me tell you. Amazing. Really amazing. Damn good. Par Excellence and stuff. Wham-Bam-Thank You Doctor Carter, again. Whoooooo-weeeeeee.

Skywalker, Texas Crossdresser got a special present today from an admirer. How nice of the freakboy.

Speaking of freaks, One ugly ass goldfish gets delivered to the Town bicycle. Maybe she's giving it out for pets, now?

CJ and Adam have a movie night. Innit that just precious. I wonder if Adam pulled that ole hole in the popcorn bag trick, heh.

"Does she have a full name, and if so how come why aren't we embarassing her with it" Cally takes a nap. And then gets awoken by her boyfriend, Samuel T. Anders, and they get nekkid! SCORE ONE FOR THE HOME TEAM, YEAH! *Cheering* ...I wonder what the T stands for, though. Tiberius?

Logan-who-was-never-any-sort-of-transmogrif... transmorgr... Screw it, the Uncool Logan and Allie had a romantic dinner. Given that it's Thanksgivin' season, I wonder if there was any stuffin' of the old turkey, if you get where I'm going.

Draco and Lily cooked themselves up a hot stupid helping of angstcakes. Veronica Mars, quietly trying to campaign for the position of new town bicycle, "talked" with a half-naked Rogue. "Talked." Riiiiiiiiight.

Sara Sidle, whom I like to think of as Cheetara -- you know "Thunder, Thunder, Thundercats... HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" -- She has a date with Doc Cockroach himself, a.k.a Gil Grissom.


Alright... moving on to our next segment...

::sound of School Bell, followed by snoring::

"Academics and the Suckers Who Actually Go To Class"

Kids... do you expect me to care about you classes, honestly?

What met today? Why, there was:
Music One-o-Dumb, Criminal Just-us-idiots, Journa-frakking-boring-lism, Quantum Phy-sucks, Biolo-gee-this-is-dull, Full-of-crap-osophy, Wanguages and Pussy... cats, Talking class, Blow-Stuff-Up Class, Criminolollogy, That class that teaches Women their true role in the home and kitchen, Starting a Small Failure, and the amazing disappearing Arthurian Crapsticks.

Oh, and Art Students got a break cause their teacher is the greatest man alive.

Study Hall report, which is much shorter than usual, because you kids are really damn boring today.

John and Rogue talk about going to Karaoke. My eyelids droop from the sheer boring thought of that conversation. YAWN, knuckleheads. YAWN.

Mother-Son chatting about the holidays. How cute.

The Cool Logan talks with Cole "Would lose a fight with Tina" Turner about evidence and then plays the worst game of charades ever with Beka "Space Hussy" Valentine.

Moving on to the final part of my broadcast tonight...

*trumpet fanfare, and then loud blender whirring, followed by a squelchy splat*

"I'd Drink That For A Dollar!"

Here it is, our very special section of all the random crap that doesn't fit anywhere else, slammed and blended together for your ease of consumption.

Shane "More Woman Than a Man Can Handle" McCutcheon got herself a room in the TARDIS. Ain't that awesome.

Lozenge, Kazoo, and Pavarotti repaired a fridge at the emporium. Bless their wee little hearts. Tex, former love of my life, wants strange things. This is unsurprising to the King.

Even though Red isn't crazy, it's like he ran one of those ads, where he says he's crazy, and has mad crazy sales, and mad crazy prices, cause Jesus' tits, there was a lot of customers there today.

Jake "I can grow boobies, so the King has no idea why I leave the house" Gavin was incoherent at Medusa "I'm scary enough that the King would need to put a bag over my head to have sex with me" St. Clair.

Tex makes a deposit... in her pants. Just kidding. It was in the bank. But I'm sure she was wearing pants at the time, maybe. So perhaps she still made a deposit in her pants, ha!

Callisto and Aeryn go at it. Sadly with clothes.

There is a Teddy Bear in the Dean's office.


Red Hot Pestilential Conversation Action between Crowley and Kiki. I swear, one of these days, those two are just going to make out like crazy.

Maia talks with the Blue Chick about stuff that would possibly be interesting if I cared. Which I don't. YAWN AGAIN. *sound of toilet flushing*

GOB goes to Sin. That pretty much sums it up. Karaoke is DAMN popular!

The Emo Kids are at it again. I plan on gatecrashing them with strippers sometime. Just to see what would happen. The other club of the day, as opposed to the one I saw Miss Sidle hitting a baby seal with, was The Science Club, where the geeks made tator cannons. Not as cool as tator tots. Mmmm, tator tots.

Also, The library was on fire.

In the sense that a lot of things were happening. It wasn't actually burning.

Sadly.

Our final note?
*compltely deadpan* Zee Oh Em Gee. Harvest Festival. Woo. That's what I have written here, folks. Whatever.

Well, that's all the news that they saw fit to throw on my desk here... If you did something you thought was so very special and it didn't get announced? Cry about it, knucklehead. The King makes the rules around here, And I rule with a godsdamn IRON FIST, SCREWHEADS!

Doctor Carter? Call Me? Please?

This is DJ Ash, signing off.

*whirring beeping sound of Pac-Man Dying*
[identity profile] names-ash.livejournal.com
Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! This is Fandom High's premiere Pirate Radio Station, DJ Ash, your lord and saviour, and all around one hip frood dude, yo.

*sound of elephants trumpeting, followed by an explosion, then a hearty Ash laugh*

Well, Well, Well. Another Thursday passes by, and we all live to see it. Oops, spoke too soon. *hearty laugh* Come on kids, it's funny. If you're crying now, Just turn off your radio and slip into an emocoma, and do us all a favor.

*sounds of kissing, and some excited shouts of "Yes!"*

"Give Me Sugar, Baby!"

Something about Vala, Cam Mitchell, and buried treasure. So THAT'S what the kids are calling it these days.

House and Wilson, who are as gay as Richard Simmons, according to a note here, are "Oh Em Gee" Dirty. Oz and Duce, as in "Not the Wizard of" and "Snakes on a plane for Hair" are not cute in any way. None at all.

Today features another episode of Callynanders, the crazed sugar lizard-beast that threatens to eat the town with cuteness.

Logan and Allie, thankfully emo-fied by losing the Saccharine Couple Contest, enjoy Pizza Bagels. Mmmmm, pizza bagels.

Alright... moving on to our next segment...

::sound of School Bell, followed by snoring::

"Academics and the Suckers Who Actually Go To Class"

You know what, kids?

Most classes are really frelling boring, DEAR HEAVENLY TOAST AND WANKTASTIC JAM. And the pain just will not go away. WHY ME?!

*cough*

The best class in the world watched a movie today! And a special wooden guest was there for Criminal Justice Students.

Study Hall report, because again... Studying in Study Hall? It's against the frakking rules, kids.

Kiki is cute. File that under D'uh, comma, ALREADY KNEW THAT.

Duce is Birthday Boy Krycek's Old Jewish Mother. That's what my notes say.

Han and Bagoas want a pussy of the feline variety, you pervs.

THUNDERCATS BAND-AID ALERT! Anders is worried about Cally. How sickeningly cute of him.

Draco Malfoy plays with a puppy. Sawyer, my soon to be dethroned student coach, WAS CRUEL TO ANIMALS. HIT HIM, PLEASE.

Moving on to the final part of my broadcast tonight...

*trumpet fanfare, and then loud blender whirring, followed by a squelchy splat*

"I'd Drink That For A Dollar!"

Here it is, our very special section of all the random crap that doesn't fit anywhere else, slammed and blended together for your ease of consumption.

Today was a certain Krycek's Happity Pappity Birthday. I have a song request here, so, this is for you, from your unholy lady of the night.

A Very Merry Unbirthday )

And the bouncing birthday blowhard Made out like a bandit. And in a thread I can't report, He Made Out. Possibly like a bandit. Maybe involving little bandito masks and little moustaches. Maybe not.

Kiki earned her lumberjack merit badge today. Lego-mania is running wild with Jack Dorkness, Elizabeth Weird, and Sam "I like to go by a boy's name because I'm so butch" Carter.

Shep is king of the lisp-people. Sure, he may say he's got allergies, but you know what? Gonnorhea. Totally. I'm sure he caught it from the town bicycle. You know, that Paige chick I reported about two weeks ago?

Operation Disney on Ice went down, but it'snot to be confused with Operation Desert Storm, cause this one is actually less funny. Bagoas Moves out of the Apple, and Beka "Power-Trip lovin' space hussy" Valentine has a chat with Tara

Mr. Crowley pimps out the hotel to some folks, Cameron "not pudgy" Mitchell is a gift-buying machine, and Salmoneus gets himself a jaunty earring, how nice of him.

Emo Talk here, Emo Talk There, Here an Emo, There an Emo, And the great-grandaddy of all Emo, Deep Throat Thoughts Club.

And Doc Grissom's got a Subtext List of place to look for Kitty.

And a special note from an Anonymous Caller: It is Official Red Appreciation Day tomorrow. He's been working hard, and a group of concerned citizens have decided that we need a statement of support for the official response, and Red's ability to lead us effectively.

People are urged to wear red or red ribbons tomorrow, and businesses are urged to offer discounts to anyone sporting the color.

Except she said it with a U in color, cause she was funny like that and I can hear alternate spellings, shut up, logic-boy.


Well, that's all the news that they saw fit to throw on my desk here... If you did something you thought was so very special and it didn't get announced? Cry about it, knucklehead. The King makes the rules around here, at least on these nights. [[ooc: I know I missed stuff today, folks. I can't keep track of all the threads anymore, sorry. Holy cow.]]

If any babies wanna give me some sweet sugar, meet me outside the Falcon in ten minutes, So decrees the King. This is DJ Ash, signing off.

*whirring beeping sound of Pac-Man Dying*
[identity profile] names-ash.livejournal.com
Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! This is Fandom High's premiere Pirate Radio Station, DJ Ash, your lord and saviour, and all around one hip frood dude, yo.

*sound of elephants trumpeting, followed by an explosion, then a hearty Ash laugh*

Well, Well, Well. Another Thursday passes by, and we all live to see it. Oops, spoke too soon. *hearty laugh* Come on kids, it's funny. If you're crying now, Just turn off your radio and slip into an emocoma, and do us all a favor.

*sounds of kissing, and some excited shouts of "Yes!"*

"Give Me Sugar, Baby!"

Something about Vala, Cam Mitchell, and buried treasure. So THAT'S what the kids are calling it these days.

House and Wilson, who are as gay as Richard Simmons, according to a note here, are "Oh Em Gee" Dirty. Oz and Duce, as in "Not the Wizard of" and "Snakes on a plane for Hair" are not cute in any way. None at all.

Today features another episode of Callynanders, the crazed sugar lizard-beast that threatens to eat the town with cuteness.

Logan and Allie, thankfully emo-fied by losing the Saccharine Couple Contest, enjoy Pizza Bagels. Mmmmm, pizza bagels.

Alright... moving on to our next segment...

::sound of School Bell, followed by snoring::

"Academics and the Suckers Who Actually Go To Class"

You know what, kids?

Most classes are really frelling boring, DEAR HEAVENLY TOAST AND WANKTASTIC JAM. And the pain just will not go away. WHY ME?!

*cough*

The best class in the world watched a movie today! And a special wooden guest was there for Criminal Justice Students.

Study Hall report, because again... Studying in Study Hall? It's against the frakking rules, kids.

Kiki is cute. File that under D'uh, comma, ALREADY KNEW THAT.

Duce is Birthday Boy Krycek's Old Jewish Mother. That's what my notes say.

Han and Bagoas want a pussy of the feline variety, you pervs.

THUNDERCATS BAND-AID ALERT! Anders is worried about Cally. How sickeningly cute of him.

Draco Malfoy plays with a puppy. Sawyer, my soon to be dethroned student coach, WAS CRUEL TO ANIMALS. HIT HIM, PLEASE.

Moving on to the final part of my broadcast tonight...

*trumpet fanfare, and then loud blender whirring, followed by a squelchy splat*

"I'd Drink That For A Dollar!"

Here it is, our very special section of all the random crap that doesn't fit anywhere else, slammed and blended together for your ease of consumption.

Today was a certain Krycek's Happity Pappity Birthday. I have a song request here, so, this is for you, from your unholy lady of the night.

A Very Merry Unbirthday )

And the bouncing birthday blowhard Made out like a bandit. And in a thread I can't report, He Made Out. Possibly like a bandit. Maybe involving little bandito masks and little moustaches. Maybe not.

Kiki earned her lumberjack merit badge today. Lego-mania is running wild with Jack Dorkness, Elizabeth Weird, and Sam "I like to go by a boy's name because I'm so butch" Carter.

Shep is king of the lisp-people. Sure, he may say he's got allergies, but you know what? Gonnorhea. Totally. I'm sure he caught it from the town bicycle. You know, that Paige chick I reported about two weeks ago?

Operation Disney on Ice went down, but it'snot to be confused with Operation Desert Storm, cause this one is actually less funny. Bagoas Moves out of the Apple, and Beka "Power-Trip lovin' space hussy" Valentine has a chat with Tara

Mr. Crowley pimps out the hotel to some folks, Cameron "not pudgy" Mitchell is a gift-buying machine, and Salmoneus gets himself a jaunty earring, how nice of him.

Emo Talk here, Emo Talk There, Here an Emo, There an Emo, And the great-grandaddy of all Emo, Deep Throat Thoughts Club.

And Doc Grissom's got a Subtext List of place to look for Kitty.

And a special note from an Anonymous Caller: It is Official Red Appreciation Day tomorrow. He's been working hard, and a group of concerned citizens have decided that we need a statement of support for the official response, and Red's ability to lead us effectively.

People are urged to wear red or red ribbons tomorrow, and businesses are urged to offer discounts to anyone sporting the color.

Except she said it with a U in color, cause she was funny like that and I can hear alternate spellings, shut up, logic-boy.


Well, that's all the news that they saw fit to throw on my desk here... If you did something you thought was so very special and it didn't get announced? Cry about it, knucklehead. The King makes the rules around here, at least on these nights. [[ooc: I know I missed stuff today, folks. I can't keep track of all the threads anymore, sorry. Holy cow.]]

If any babies wanna give me some sweet sugar, meet me outside the Falcon in ten minutes, So decrees the King. This is DJ Ash, signing off.

*whirring beeping sound of Pac-Man Dying*
[identity profile] names-ash.livejournal.com
You're listening to Fandom High's premiere Pirate Radio Station, and this is DJ Ash, who wants to make it very clear that whatever happened in Art Class was Not. My. Fault.

::sound of elephants trumpeting, followed by an explosion, then a hearty Ash laugh::

Here we go, straight into the first segment...

::sounds of kissing, and some excited shouts of "Yes!"::

"Give Me Sugar, Baby!"

Loz has outperved the entire town. On the opposite end of the spectrum, reading about Cally and Anders makes my pancreas scream for death. Kiki and Harry going to a bookstore, again, if I were diabetic, I'd be dead right now. Especially if I think about Faith and that damn puppy!

The Doc and Shane are emo. That Mitchell kid and his girlfriend with the kinky hair stripe go jogging. Later, there are rumours of possible cake eating off naked flesh. Damn, Mitchell, what's your secret? Do you moisturize or something?

The Doctor and The Librarian have a little date at Deb's. They find an Indian, a Construction Worker, and a Cop, and they’ll be able to reform the Village People! Rumors of something going on between Solo and Jayne have reached the Pirate’s ears, as well. Han... please tell me Jayne is a girl. Please. I’m begging you.

Something about lollipops and flirting in the clinic. Sounds hot.

Lana and Archie, he of the magnificent long boy-hair, were cute during Study Hall. Seriously, how much cute can a guy like me take? Can’t you kids just strip and screw each other blue? That atleast would be more interesting... especially in Study Hall!

He’s everywhere, kid.

Next topic!

::sound of School Bell, followed by snoring::

"Academics and the Suckers Who Actually Go To Class"

Small Business handed in homework. Prophecy was the topic in Religion. Got any little stick figures of me written in human blood? That’s my favorite little prophecy. I’m a freakin’ hero, and don’t you kids forget it.

Papers in Government. Guest Speaker in Celtic Studies, along with rumors of some interesting gossiping going on involving everyone’s favorite gay-haired jolly vampire boy.

The Doctor, of fledgling Village People fame, interviews kids in Quantum Physics. Abnormal Psych had papers. One was about kittens. Or maybe puppies. Puttens? Kippies?

...moving on!

Peer Mediators! Get one while they're hot! Daniel "I'm a big girl and dress in women's underwear" Jackson cancelled his classes today. Zaphod Beeblebrox being the hoopiest frood-baby in the known universe, also cancelled his class. "Captain Emo" Lee Adama's arms were ogled in the library. A lot. Tell me kid, what sort of training do you get in? I'd like a few pointers.

Journalism is full of lies today. Speech, run by the lovely Professor Cregg, who is a very respectable woman, and any knuckleheads who bring up her personal life in the classroom I will personally bitchslap twelve ways, including "upinya", had... something... I kinda derailed my train of thought, there... Um, next!

Languages of Europe has Spanish verbs. Cat Class has, surprise, cats. If any of you were actually surprised by this, please go look up "Clue" in the dictionary, so you'll know what to buy when you see one. Which you won't... Ever.

Shop Class had screwheads breaking out of vaults. And Kids making out in vaults. Art Class, the best class on campus, had free donuts, coffee, and kids made popsicle stick art.

Home Ec makes Halloween Costumes for cats. This news Item? Makes the King throw up a little in his mouth. Somebody get me some listerine, geeze!

The Math Teacher had office hours. He also has some kids working on wormholes, or something. I kinda wish that was dirtier than it sounds.

Philosophy should be renamed "Well no f'ing d'uh", as todays topic was "We are all real". ::golf clap:: Good topic. You too busy crying over spilt milk or something to actually do a real job in your class? Oh, and the new teacher-baby ran office hours too.

Lifestyles covers sports. History cancelled for the rest of the week. Criminal Justice discusses a Coyote and his endless quest for a speedy bird of some sort.

And now the final part of my broadcast tonight...

::trumpet fanfare, and then loud blender whirring, followed by a squelchy splat::

"I'd Drink That For A Dollar!"

Here it is, our very special section of all the random crap that doesn't fit anywhere else, slammed and blended together for your ease of consumption.

Science Club builds Battlebots. Emo Club met... Oh, I'm sorry, the official header is "Deep Thoughts". Come on, who are you jokers kidding? Why not just call it "The angsty boys and girls who all sit around and listen to their emo crap and cry a little". Grow a pair! Especially the girls!

Common Room Hijinks, starring Rory Gilmore and a cast of several. Hockey met for the first time. Poor Barbossa fell on his wee piratey ass.

Othe Common Room Hijinks, involving a Toaster/Camera Make sure Cally doesn't get her cute little ass anywhere near that thing, okay?

Evelyn went all stupid emo in Study Hall. Kara Thrace and Samuel Anders got mysterious Pyramid letters. And this isn't a money making scheme, I'm told.

Samuel Anders? Why do I suddenly feel the need to shout "It'll getcha drunk! Mmmmm MMmmm, Beeeeyotch!"

::cough:: Sorry about that. I met Tex today. And... what the hell? My notes say Tex is a girl. Tex, taller than me and fires a gun better than me is a girl?! I think I’m in love

Big Ole Sunnydale Reunion party at Debs. Frank Apple conducted some business interviews.

And okay, this name is all over my notes, so this is just one big blanket statement:

Dear Paige Matthews: Please stop being a whiny little PMSing Emo Bitchface. Thank you.

As always, I will not complain if there are any naked females waiting for me at the Falcon, though my TA has the full right to always be clothed and I will never demand that she be naked. This is DJ Ash, your lord, savior, king, and handsomest sonnuvabitch in Fandom Town, signing off.

::sound of Pac-Man whirring and dying::
[identity profile] names-ash.livejournal.com
You're listening to Fandom High's premiere Pirate Radio Station, and this is DJ Ash, who wants to make it very clear that whatever happened in Art Class was Not. My. Fault.

::sound of elephants trumpeting, followed by an explosion, then a hearty Ash laugh::

Here we go, straight into the first segment...

::sounds of kissing, and some excited shouts of "Yes!"::

"Give Me Sugar, Baby!"

Loz has outperved the entire town. On the opposite end of the spectrum, reading about Cally and Anders makes my pancreas scream for death. Kiki and Harry going to a bookstore, again, if I were diabetic, I'd be dead right now. Especially if I think about Faith and that damn puppy!

The Doc and Shane are emo. That Mitchell kid and his girlfriend with the kinky hair stripe go jogging. Later, there are rumours of possible cake eating off naked flesh. Damn, Mitchell, what's your secret? Do you moisturize or something?

The Doctor and The Librarian have a little date at Deb's. They find an Indian, a Construction Worker, and a Cop, and they’ll be able to reform the Village People! Rumors of something going on between Solo and Jayne have reached the Pirate’s ears, as well. Han... please tell me Jayne is a girl. Please. I’m begging you.

Something about lollipops and flirting in the clinic. Sounds hot.

Lana and Archie, he of the magnificent long boy-hair, were cute during Study Hall. Seriously, how much cute can a guy like me take? Can’t you kids just strip and screw each other blue? That atleast would be more interesting... especially in Study Hall!

He’s everywhere, kid.

Next topic!

::sound of School Bell, followed by snoring::

"Academics and the Suckers Who Actually Go To Class"

Small Business handed in homework. Prophecy was the topic in Religion. Got any little stick figures of me written in human blood? That’s my favorite little prophecy. I’m a freakin’ hero, and don’t you kids forget it.

Papers in Government. Guest Speaker in Celtic Studies, along with rumors of some interesting gossiping going on involving everyone’s favorite gay-haired jolly vampire boy.

The Doctor, of fledgling Village People fame, interviews kids in Quantum Physics. Abnormal Psych had papers. One was about kittens. Or maybe puppies. Puttens? Kippies?

...moving on!

Peer Mediators! Get one while they're hot! Daniel "I'm a big girl and dress in women's underwear" Jackson cancelled his classes today. Zaphod Beeblebrox being the hoopiest frood-baby in the known universe, also cancelled his class. "Captain Emo" Lee Adama's arms were ogled in the library. A lot. Tell me kid, what sort of training do you get in? I'd like a few pointers.

Journalism is full of lies today. Speech, run by the lovely Professor Cregg, who is a very respectable woman, and any knuckleheads who bring up her personal life in the classroom I will personally bitchslap twelve ways, including "upinya", had... something... I kinda derailed my train of thought, there... Um, next!

Languages of Europe has Spanish verbs. Cat Class has, surprise, cats. If any of you were actually surprised by this, please go look up "Clue" in the dictionary, so you'll know what to buy when you see one. Which you won't... Ever.

Shop Class had screwheads breaking out of vaults. And Kids making out in vaults. Art Class, the best class on campus, had free donuts, coffee, and kids made popsicle stick art.

Home Ec makes Halloween Costumes for cats. This news Item? Makes the King throw up a little in his mouth. Somebody get me some listerine, geeze!

The Math Teacher had office hours. He also has some kids working on wormholes, or something. I kinda wish that was dirtier than it sounds.

Philosophy should be renamed "Well no f'ing d'uh", as todays topic was "We are all real". ::golf clap:: Good topic. You too busy crying over spilt milk or something to actually do a real job in your class? Oh, and the new teacher-baby ran office hours too.

Lifestyles covers sports. History cancelled for the rest of the week. Criminal Justice discusses a Coyote and his endless quest for a speedy bird of some sort.

And now the final part of my broadcast tonight...

::trumpet fanfare, and then loud blender whirring, followed by a squelchy splat::

"I'd Drink That For A Dollar!"

Here it is, our very special section of all the random crap that doesn't fit anywhere else, slammed and blended together for your ease of consumption.

Science Club builds Battlebots. Emo Club met... Oh, I'm sorry, the official header is "Deep Thoughts". Come on, who are you jokers kidding? Why not just call it "The angsty boys and girls who all sit around and listen to their emo crap and cry a little". Grow a pair! Especially the girls!

Common Room Hijinks, starring Rory Gilmore and a cast of several. Hockey met for the first time. Poor Barbossa fell on his wee piratey ass.

Othe Common Room Hijinks, involving a Toaster/Camera Make sure Cally doesn't get her cute little ass anywhere near that thing, okay?

Evelyn went all stupid emo in Study Hall. Kara Thrace and Samuel Anders got mysterious Pyramid letters. And this isn't a money making scheme, I'm told.

Samuel Anders? Why do I suddenly feel the need to shout "It'll getcha drunk! Mmmmm MMmmm, Beeeeyotch!"

::cough:: Sorry about that. I met Tex today. And... what the hell? My notes say Tex is a girl. Tex, taller than me and fires a gun better than me is a girl?! I think I’m in love

Big Ole Sunnydale Reunion party at Debs. Frank Apple conducted some business interviews.

And okay, this name is all over my notes, so this is just one big blanket statement:

Dear Paige Matthews: Please stop being a whiny little PMSing Emo Bitchface. Thank you.

As always, I will not complain if there are any naked females waiting for me at the Falcon, though my TA has the full right to always be clothed and I will never demand that she be naked. This is DJ Ash, your lord, savior, king, and handsomest sonnuvabitch in Fandom Town, signing off.

::sound of Pac-Man whirring and dying::
[identity profile] names-ash.livejournal.com
You're listening to Fandom High's premiere Pirate Radio Station, and this is DJ Ash, the lord and savior of all you ungrateful snot-nosed punks, ready to make you all hail to the King of the airwaves, knuckleheads!

::sound of elephants trumpeting, followed by an explosion, then a hearty Ash laugh::

Wasting no time tonight, here we go!

::sounds of kissing, and some excited shouts of "Yes!"::

"Give Me Sugar, Baby!"

Why do people think flower deliveries are newsworthy? Honestly... this is boring. Get this crap off my desk! ::sound of chainsaw:: ::loud crashing noise::

::long pause::

Oops. Umm... ::cough:: Red Hot All Female Slumber Party tonight. There is talk of girl kissing! And Margaritas!

Logan, not Echolls, and Allie were spotted on a date at the diner. Aww, how cute. I'm rolling my eyes, here, kids. You'll just have to imagine it, it bein' radio and all.

Crichton and Lee went on a totally wacky and man-loving adventure. I'd say you two should get a room, but apparently, you'd rather run across the universe, instead. One question... Which one of you is the man? ::laugh::

Jack Harkness attempted to seduce Number Six. And harassed Miss Parker while naked.... Good job, Jackie boy. You make the King proud... if more than a little creeped out.

Awww, Cameron Mitchell got dumped by Vala. Poor dumb... hey, that reminds me.

We got a call in for a song dedication. Here, I quote: "Dean Bristow, Jack: You've been alone for far too long. Don't let petty minds keep us apart. Love should not waste away in secret. Give in to your true feelings, my love! -- Vala"

And here is that very special song, The Secret Marriage by Sting
The Secret Marriage lyrics )

Aeryn Sun, Sam Carter, and Miss Parker meet in the gym in lingerie, braid each other's hair, and eat cookie dough, with an ocassional waterfight. There was no hitting of any teachers, and any information to the otherwise is all vicious, stupid lies made up by girls who wish they could make it with the King, knuckleheads. Damn my jaw hurts... ::cough::

Next topic!

::sound of School Bell, followed by snoring::

"Academics and the Suckers Who Actually Go To Class"

Criminal Justice had a test. There was metaphors involved. Me? I like metaphors. Metafives, those scare me.

Music 101 had a guest performance by some deaf German guy. Band Practice will be having a battle of some sort. I just hope there aren't any deadites involved.

TA Tryouts were held. I have reports they involved ingin... engi... Being smart and reacting well. Dammit, Barbossa, smaller words!

My Art Class had some fun today. Marty is a master puppeteer. Lisa Cuddy is one sweet hot babe. And that boy Chihaya has the voice of a damn angel. [ooc: ::rimshot::]

Hanging Gardens in History of the Ancient World. Speeches in Speech class. File that one under "blatantly obvious."

East Asian History kids luck out and get to watch a movie. There was discussion of the body farm trip in Doc Grissom's Criminology. Celtic classes cancelled. Also, alliteration's aweseome! ::laugh::

Dictators in Government. Small Businesses met. Professor Cregg, the Doc's little partner in perversion, rocks out to her iPod during Office Hours. Speaking of the Doc, his Quantum Physics discusses Alternate Universes.

Journalism Class had a bit of drama, involving strange metamorphosing Jake kisses and punches.

Body Farm Field Trip. Tell me kids, could you tell the differences between the corpses and Ms. Sidle? I’ll give you a hint... She’s the ugly one. ::maniacal laugh::

And now the final part of my broadcast tonight...

::trumpet fanfare, and then loud blender whirring, followed by a squelchy splat::

"I'd Drink That For A Dollar!"

Here it is, our very special section of all the random crap that doesn't fit anywhere else, slammed and blended together for your ease of consumption.

Padme is offerin flying lessons to Inara. How damn sweet.

Charlie Kawalsky sings. And can’t remember the lyrics to the Sound of Music. Ha! Even I... ::pause:: have no idea what those lyrics are. Honest.

Paige returned some books to Lily, that jackass Shep plays with... something. Wait... my notes say “Sims”. That’s probably either a codeword for dolls, or himself.

Faith went crazy. Again. Marty, did you get this one on tape? I want this one on tape.

Rover makes sure we are safe from Evil Frogs. Thomasina and Wednesday play with computers.

The Deep Thoughts Club met for the first time. Somehow, this leads to the formation of the worst band ever. And I hear Lee Adama may be the second coming of Davy Jones. The Monkee, not the pirate guy with the locker.

Well, that’s all the news they saw fit to... ::pause:: put on what was my desk. I’m off to go nurse a few injuries I got from slipping on a bar of soap. Soap is a killer, kids.

As always, I will not complain if there are any naked females waiting for me at the Falcon, and this is DJ Ash, signing off.

::sound of Pac-Man whirring and dying::

[ooc: We here at the radio cannot see inside Jack Bristow's office, so we cannot report the OMGFUNNY that is Vala hitting on him. But everyone should go read.]
[identity profile] names-ash.livejournal.com
You're listening to Fandom High's premiere Pirate Radio Station, and this is DJ Ash, the lord and savior of all you ungrateful snot-nosed punks, ready to make you all hail to the King of the airwaves, knuckleheads!

::sound of elephants trumpeting, followed by an explosion, then a hearty Ash laugh::

Wasting no time tonight, here we go!

::sounds of kissing, and some excited shouts of "Yes!"::

"Give Me Sugar, Baby!"

Why do people think flower deliveries are newsworthy? Honestly... this is boring. Get this crap off my desk! ::sound of chainsaw:: ::loud crashing noise::

::long pause::

Oops. Umm... ::cough:: Red Hot All Female Slumber Party tonight. There is talk of girl kissing! And Margaritas!

Logan, not Echolls, and Allie were spotted on a date at the diner. Aww, how cute. I'm rolling my eyes, here, kids. You'll just have to imagine it, it bein' radio and all.

Crichton and Lee went on a totally wacky and man-loving adventure. I'd say you two should get a room, but apparently, you'd rather run across the universe, instead. One question... Which one of you is the man? ::laugh::

Jack Harkness attempted to seduce Number Six. And harassed Miss Parker while naked.... Good job, Jackie boy. You make the King proud... if more than a little creeped out.

Awww, Cameron Mitchell got dumped by Vala. Poor dumb... hey, that reminds me.

We got a call in for a song dedication. Here, I quote: "Dean Bristow, Jack: You've been alone for far too long. Don't let petty minds keep us apart. Love should not waste away in secret. Give in to your true feelings, my love! -- Vala"

And here is that very special song, The Secret Marriage by Sting
The Secret Marriage lyrics )

Aeryn Sun, Sam Carter, and Miss Parker meet in the gym in lingerie, braid each other's hair, and eat cookie dough, with an ocassional waterfight. There was no hitting of any teachers, and any information to the otherwise is all vicious, stupid lies made up by girls who wish they could make it with the King, knuckleheads. Damn my jaw hurts... ::cough::

Next topic!

::sound of School Bell, followed by snoring::

"Academics and the Suckers Who Actually Go To Class"

Criminal Justice had a test. There was metaphors involved. Me? I like metaphors. Metafives, those scare me.

Music 101 had a guest performance by some deaf German guy. Band Practice will be having a battle of some sort. I just hope there aren't any deadites involved.

TA Tryouts were held. I have reports they involved ingin... engi... Being smart and reacting well. Dammit, Barbossa, smaller words!

My Art Class had some fun today. Marty is a master puppeteer. Lisa Cuddy is one sweet hot babe. And that boy Chihaya has the voice of a damn angel. [ooc: ::rimshot::]

Hanging Gardens in History of the Ancient World. Speeches in Speech class. File that one under "blatantly obvious."

East Asian History kids luck out and get to watch a movie. There was discussion of the body farm trip in Doc Grissom's Criminology. Celtic classes cancelled. Also, alliteration's aweseome! ::laugh::

Dictators in Government. Small Businesses met. Professor Cregg, the Doc's little partner in perversion, rocks out to her iPod during Office Hours. Speaking of the Doc, his Quantum Physics discusses Alternate Universes.

Journalism Class had a bit of drama, involving strange metamorphosing Jake kisses and punches.

Body Farm Field Trip. Tell me kids, could you tell the differences between the corpses and Ms. Sidle? I’ll give you a hint... She’s the ugly one. ::maniacal laugh::

And now the final part of my broadcast tonight...

::trumpet fanfare, and then loud blender whirring, followed by a squelchy splat::

"I'd Drink That For A Dollar!"

Here it is, our very special section of all the random crap that doesn't fit anywhere else, slammed and blended together for your ease of consumption.

Padme is offerin flying lessons to Inara. How damn sweet.

Charlie Kawalsky sings. And can’t remember the lyrics to the Sound of Music. Ha! Even I... ::pause:: have no idea what those lyrics are. Honest.

Paige returned some books to Lily, that jackass Shep plays with... something. Wait... my notes say “Sims”. That’s probably either a codeword for dolls, or himself.

Faith went crazy. Again. Marty, did you get this one on tape? I want this one on tape.

Rover makes sure we are safe from Evil Frogs. Thomasina and Wednesday play with computers.

The Deep Thoughts Club met for the first time. Somehow, this leads to the formation of the worst band ever. And I hear Lee Adama may be the second coming of Davy Jones. The Monkee, not the pirate guy with the locker.

Well, that’s all the news they saw fit to... ::pause:: put on what was my desk. I’m off to go nurse a few injuries I got from slipping on a bar of soap. Soap is a killer, kids.

As always, I will not complain if there are any naked females waiting for me at the Falcon, and this is DJ Ash, signing off.

::sound of Pac-Man whirring and dying::

[ooc: We here at the radio cannot see inside Jack Bristow's office, so we cannot report the OMGFUNNY that is Vala hitting on him. But everyone should go read.]
[identity profile] names-ash.livejournal.com
You're listening to Fandom High's premiere Pirate Radio Station, and this is DJ Ash, the lord and savior of all you ungrateful snot-nosed punks, ready to make you all hail to the King of the airwaves, knuckleheads!

::sound of elephants trumpeting, followed by an explosion, then a hearty Ash laugh::

Before I begin the broadcast, can someone explain to me what the hell happened to Wednesday? And I'm not talking about that creepy Addams chick, I mean the day. Where'd it go? Anyone? ::sigh:: Moving on!

::sounds of kissing, and some excited shouts of "Yes!"::

"Give Me Sugar, Baby!"

There was a lot of flower deliveries today. No one sent any to the King? I'm hurt.

My little student coach Sawyer got himself a date. Good work, kid

Big dinner date at the TARDIS tonight. That Doc still being a perv? I don't have any new news items on that front...

::sound of School Bell, followed by snoring::

"Academics and the Suckers Who Actually Go To Class"

Metaphors were the test subject in Criminal Justice. Ted's Music 101 covered movie music. In Art Appreciation, they sculpted Janet Fraiser's assets. Hey, that's my class.

...I don't remember this. Heck, I don't even think I know who Janet Fraiser is!

Speaking of Janet Frasier, apparently she raided the Sociology class, and kissed Doc Grissom! Hey, now I remember! Janet's the chick who kissed Daniel Jackson two weeks ago. When's it gonna be the King's turn, baby?

Journalism discussed Villains, there's more movie watching in Martial Arts, and Biology wants permission slips for a Body Farm trip. How exciting. Personally, I'm of the opinion that Ms. Sidle should be planning a trip to the funny farm. ::maniacal laugh::

ARRRRR! It be Pirate Day in the cafeteria. Did anyone try the hard tack and keep all their teeth? You, kid, are a winner.

Essays were due in Languages, and there was Obedience lessons in Speech Class.

Home Ec had knitting projects, Some woman was discussed in History of the Ancient World, and Korea was the topic of East Asian History.

Diplomacy discussed idiots. In my dictionary, Idiot is followed by "person who prefers diplomacy." ::laugh::

Quantum Physics cancelled today, and so did Fashion, not wanting to be behind on the trends. Small Business did meet today, decidedly neither Fashionable nor Quantum Physics-y.

Debate Number Two: Electric Boogaloo occured tonight. [ooc: And the magic of slow-time says it's still going on, so you can still get questions in.]

And remember to caste your vote for Homecoming King and Queen. The King of your airwaves will not try to influence your voting with his Kingly voice or his Kingly words. He just asks that you vote for whoever you think is really the King.

As far as Queens go, I don't even think Daniel Jackson is nominated... ::laugh:: Write him in kids, so declares the King!

And now the final part of my broadcast tonight...

::trumpet fanfare, and then loud blender whirring, followed by a squelchy splat::

"I'd Drink That For A Dollar!"

Here it is, our very special section of all the random crap that doesn't fit anywhere else, slammed and blended together for your ease of consumption.

Ms. Sidle fall down, go boom. ::maniacal laughter::

::more laughing::

::gasping for breath::

::more laughing::

Oh, sorry about that screwheads, got a little... ::laugh:: carried away there. ::clears throat:: Continuing...

Maia and Beka discussed strategies. This leads to Beka Action figures. Are you one of the sad few who haven't had the chance to play with the real Beka? Well, now you can play with your own little version. ::laugh:: ...somebody pick me up one of those, would you?

Rory cut Zero's hair, Willow and Paige discuss Magic, and Prof Quayle be getting his Emo on about his dead wife. Awwww, poor baby. Get back to me when you cut one up with a chainsaw, wussie. That's anguish.

A bunch of kids went to the clinic tonight. Pansies. The King got a big ole black eye and maybe a concussion, but you don't see me over there crying about it.

There was some discussion at the Perk between Angela and Rory and Buffy and Frank Apple.

Churches endorse Phoebe for Prez. Huh. I didn't even know these places existed.

Well, that's all the news that they saw fit to throw on my desk here... If you did something you thought was so very special and it didn't get announced? Cry about it, knucklehead. The King makes the rules around here, at least on these nights.

I gotta go... gotta... ooh, pretty lights. Look at 'em dance. They're doing a little dance just for the King. So... pretty...

::there is a loud, sharp thump, and then the sound of snoring::

[ooc: And the post everyone should read, because it amuses the heck outta me, but couldn't possibly be IC knowledge for the radio: Dean Bristow blackmails Rob Gordon. The forecast on the state of Gordon's underpants is worrisome, with a 80% chance of soiling.]
[identity profile] names-ash.livejournal.com
You're listening to Fandom High's premiere Pirate Radio Station, and this is DJ Ash, the lord and savior of all you ungrateful snot-nosed punks, ready to make you all hail to the King of the airwaves, knuckleheads!

::sound of elephants trumpeting, followed by an explosion, then a hearty Ash laugh::

Before I begin the broadcast, can someone explain to me what the hell happened to Wednesday? And I'm not talking about that creepy Addams chick, I mean the day. Where'd it go? Anyone? ::sigh:: Moving on!

::sounds of kissing, and some excited shouts of "Yes!"::

"Give Me Sugar, Baby!"

There was a lot of flower deliveries today. No one sent any to the King? I'm hurt.

My little student coach Sawyer got himself a date. Good work, kid

Big dinner date at the TARDIS tonight. That Doc still being a perv? I don't have any new news items on that front...

::sound of School Bell, followed by snoring::

"Academics and the Suckers Who Actually Go To Class"

Metaphors were the test subject in Criminal Justice. Ted's Music 101 covered movie music. In Art Appreciation, they sculpted Janet Fraiser's assets. Hey, that's my class.

...I don't remember this. Heck, I don't even think I know who Janet Fraiser is!

Speaking of Janet Frasier, apparently she raided the Sociology class, and kissed Doc Grissom! Hey, now I remember! Janet's the chick who kissed Daniel Jackson two weeks ago. When's it gonna be the King's turn, baby?

Journalism discussed Villains, there's more movie watching in Martial Arts, and Biology wants permission slips for a Body Farm trip. How exciting. Personally, I'm of the opinion that Ms. Sidle should be planning a trip to the funny farm. ::maniacal laugh::

ARRRRR! It be Pirate Day in the cafeteria. Did anyone try the hard tack and keep all their teeth? You, kid, are a winner.

Essays were due in Languages, and there was Obedience lessons in Speech Class.

Home Ec had knitting projects, Some woman was discussed in History of the Ancient World, and Korea was the topic of East Asian History.

Diplomacy discussed idiots. In my dictionary, Idiot is followed by "person who prefers diplomacy." ::laugh::

Quantum Physics cancelled today, and so did Fashion, not wanting to be behind on the trends. Small Business did meet today, decidedly neither Fashionable nor Quantum Physics-y.

Debate Number Two: Electric Boogaloo occured tonight. [ooc: And the magic of slow-time says it's still going on, so you can still get questions in.]

And remember to caste your vote for Homecoming King and Queen. The King of your airwaves will not try to influence your voting with his Kingly voice or his Kingly words. He just asks that you vote for whoever you think is really the King.

As far as Queens go, I don't even think Daniel Jackson is nominated... ::laugh:: Write him in kids, so declares the King!

And now the final part of my broadcast tonight...

::trumpet fanfare, and then loud blender whirring, followed by a squelchy splat::

"I'd Drink That For A Dollar!"

Here it is, our very special section of all the random crap that doesn't fit anywhere else, slammed and blended together for your ease of consumption.

Ms. Sidle fall down, go boom. ::maniacal laughter::

::more laughing::

::gasping for breath::

::more laughing::

Oh, sorry about that screwheads, got a little... ::laugh:: carried away there. ::clears throat:: Continuing...

Maia and Beka discussed strategies. This leads to Beka Action figures. Are you one of the sad few who haven't had the chance to play with the real Beka? Well, now you can play with your own little version. ::laugh:: ...somebody pick me up one of those, would you?

Rory cut Zero's hair, Willow and Paige discuss Magic, and Prof Quayle be getting his Emo on about his dead wife. Awwww, poor baby. Get back to me when you cut one up with a chainsaw, wussie. That's anguish.

A bunch of kids went to the clinic tonight. Pansies. The King got a big ole black eye and maybe a concussion, but you don't see me over there crying about it.

There was some discussion at the Perk between Angela and Rory and Buffy and Frank Apple.

Churches endorse Phoebe for Prez. Huh. I didn't even know these places existed.

Well, that's all the news that they saw fit to throw on my desk here... If you did something you thought was so very special and it didn't get announced? Cry about it, knucklehead. The King makes the rules around here, at least on these nights.

I gotta go... gotta... ooh, pretty lights. Look at 'em dance. They're doing a little dance just for the King. So... pretty...

::there is a loud, sharp thump, and then the sound of snoring::

[ooc: And the post everyone should read, because it amuses the heck outta me, but couldn't possibly be IC knowledge for the radio: Dean Bristow blackmails Rob Gordon. The forecast on the state of Gordon's underpants is worrisome, with a 80% chance of soiling.]
[identity profile] names-ash.livejournal.com
You're listening to Fandom High's premiere Pirate Radio Station, and this is DJ Ash, the lord and savior of all you ungrateful snot-nosed punks, ready to make you all hail to the King of the airwaves, knuckleheads!

::sound of elephants trumpeting, followed by an explosion, then a hearty Ash laugh::

Here we go, directly into our first segment...

::sounds of kissing, and some excited shouts of "Yes!"::

"Give Me Sugar, Baby!"

Homecoming Tickets are on sale, so make sure to grab yours ASAP.

Jayne Cobb asked George Lass to homecoming, and she said yes. How nice for them. ::yawn::

Jake Gavin continues to be a girl. And I mean that in the literal has boobs and ovaries sorta way, not the "My name is Daniel Jackson" sorta way. ::laughs:: though that might be the same thing.

John Crichton has been flirting with anything that moves. And don't think I didn't hear you kids comparing this behavior to mine. I'm hurt. This kid didn't even sleep with one girl, and you're raising him to my level? Ha!

Jayne and Han got in a fight over Bagoas. This leads to Jayne making out with Phoebe. Han? If I'm following the logic here, can we just get in a big fight sometime? I need me some sugar...

Jayne also went on a date with Elizabeth Swann today... dear god, what are you doing kid, trainning for the woman triathalon or something?

Elizabeth Swann has a new fake fiancee. His name is Hank, and he is blue and furry. I'm gonna need to pour Drain-o in my ear to get rid of that mental image, kids. Ew.

The Doctor is a giant pervert and shops at Pandora's Box. Just thought I should make that very clear.

Homecoming Campaign News:
Posters for Kawalsky's bid as Homecoming... Queen. Right kid, that's just... crazy.
Death, that's the bony one, not the hot one, made cookies for ...it's Homecoming Queen Campaign
Cally throws a party in support of her Homecoming Queen efforts. Three people show up. ::Wah-Wah Trumpet Noise:: Awww, poor baby gonna cry?
George Lass also has cookies advertising her campaign. But only if you can read Swedish Muppetese.

Kawalsky, Homecoming Queen Candidate, also is making an ass of himself for money. This time the sign is for Shep. Apparently you need to give up on Beka, kid. Go home and cry about it like everyone else does in this school.

Kawalsky is also offering match-making services to anyone who doesn't have a homecoming date. How sweet of him. ::yawn::

Moving on!

::sound of School Bell, followed by snoring::

"Academics and the Suckers Who Actually Go To Class"

The Tick talked about the police today in Criminial Justice. Band Practice failed to even accomplish the simple goal of naming their bands. Prof Quayle can't find enough students to run his classes. Poor baby.

Biology recieved a day off thanks to Ms. Sidle's illness. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving girl.

Criminology covered environmental criminal... stuff. Speech was all about trust today. Apparently CJ trusts her students enough to fall asleep during class, too. Speaking of snoring, I'm sure more than a few kids did so through todays Anthropology. No random kisses this week for Dr. Four-Eyes, the poor bastard.

Martial Arts partnered kids up and actual had some fighting. Home Ec has kittens for mascots, and one has a sword. If anybody brings this up in a weapons ban argument, I will personally headbutt you, screwhead.

History of the Ancient World and East Asian History both had essays due today. Good job working them kids hard, Abe.

Mental Disorders were the topic of the day in Abnormal Psychology. I personally am a big fan of nymphomania, Ha!

Today had the first Independay Study Course meeting. Somebody have a clue what exactly they're studying? Independance? Anyone? Bueller?

Look out, Rory Gilmore. Zaphod's Fashion Class is out to design you a sidekick outfit. Given their previous assignment involved space bondage pirates, I hope you feel comfortable in latex and chains. Ooooh, and a whip too. Hear that kids? The King is giving you real good help for your projects... write it down, knuckleheads!

Blah Blah... Quantum Physics talked about innocent bystanders of Time Travel, and Journalism covered elections. There. That boring crap is done and out of the way.

And now the final part of my broadcast tonight...

::trumpet fanfare, and then loud blender whirring, followed by a squelchy splat::

"I'd Drink That For A Dollar!"

Here it is, our very special section of all the random crap that doesn't fit anywhere else, slammed and blended together for your ease of consumption.

The Swedish Chef continues to cook in the cafeteria, and is now endorsing Draco Malfoy for president.

Julian Sark is Missing, Presumed lost in Special Collections. This news item? Boring, presumed a waste of air time. ::sound of toilet flushing::

Kiki sleeps around... in the common rooms, ha! Had you perverted screwheads fooled for a second, didn't I?

Shep responded to Kawalsky's Sandwich Board announcement. Apparently the knucklehead thinks writing signs on Beka Valentine's door about Cally will get him a date. How thick is this kid?

Speaking of thick, Cameron Mitchell spent some time in the gym with Aeryn Sun. You know, the girl who looks exactly like his girlfriend who's dating the guy who looks exactly like him. Seriously, I'm just gonna tackle you kids some day and tattoo your names on your foreheads.

On the subject of tattoos, a bunch of wusses showed up at Red's Tattoo parlor for some henna tats. Come on, grow a pair and get a real one, honestly.

Well, that's all the news that they saw fit to throw on my desk here... If you did something you thought was so very special and it didn't get announced? Cry about it, knucklehead. The King makes the rules around here, at least on these nights.

Any naked female is welcome in my cabin at the Falcon in ten minutes. This is DJ Ash, signing off...

::whirring beeping sound of Pac-Man Dying::
[identity profile] names-ash.livejournal.com
You're listening to Fandom High's premiere Pirate Radio Station, and this is DJ Ash, the lord and savior of all you ungrateful snot-nosed punks, ready to make you all hail to the King of the airwaves, knuckleheads!

::sound of elephants trumpeting, followed by an explosion, then a hearty Ash laugh::

Here we go, directly into our first segment...

::sounds of kissing, and some excited shouts of "Yes!"::

"Give Me Sugar, Baby!"

Homecoming Tickets are on sale, so make sure to grab yours ASAP.

Jayne Cobb asked George Lass to homecoming, and she said yes. How nice for them. ::yawn::

Jake Gavin continues to be a girl. And I mean that in the literal has boobs and ovaries sorta way, not the "My name is Daniel Jackson" sorta way. ::laughs:: though that might be the same thing.

John Crichton has been flirting with anything that moves. And don't think I didn't hear you kids comparing this behavior to mine. I'm hurt. This kid didn't even sleep with one girl, and you're raising him to my level? Ha!

Jayne and Han got in a fight over Bagoas. This leads to Jayne making out with Phoebe. Han? If I'm following the logic here, can we just get in a big fight sometime? I need me some sugar...

Jayne also went on a date with Elizabeth Swann today... dear god, what are you doing kid, trainning for the woman triathalon or something?

Elizabeth Swann has a new fake fiancee. His name is Hank, and he is blue and furry. I'm gonna need to pour Drain-o in my ear to get rid of that mental image, kids. Ew.

The Doctor is a giant pervert and shops at Pandora's Box. Just thought I should make that very clear.

Homecoming Campaign News:
Posters for Kawalsky's bid as Homecoming... Queen. Right kid, that's just... crazy.
Death, that's the bony one, not the hot one, made cookies for ...it's Homecoming Queen Campaign
Cally throws a party in support of her Homecoming Queen efforts. Three people show up. ::Wah-Wah Trumpet Noise:: Awww, poor baby gonna cry?
George Lass also has cookies advertising her campaign. But only if you can read Swedish Muppetese.

Kawalsky, Homecoming Queen Candidate, also is making an ass of himself for money. This time the sign is for Shep. Apparently you need to give up on Beka, kid. Go home and cry about it like everyone else does in this school.

Kawalsky is also offering match-making services to anyone who doesn't have a homecoming date. How sweet of him. ::yawn::

Moving on!

::sound of School Bell, followed by snoring::

"Academics and the Suckers Who Actually Go To Class"

The Tick talked about the police today in Criminial Justice. Band Practice failed to even accomplish the simple goal of naming their bands. Prof Quayle can't find enough students to run his classes. Poor baby.

Biology recieved a day off thanks to Ms. Sidle's illness. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving girl.

Criminology covered environmental criminal... stuff. Speech was all about trust today. Apparently CJ trusts her students enough to fall asleep during class, too. Speaking of snoring, I'm sure more than a few kids did so through todays Anthropology. No random kisses this week for Dr. Four-Eyes, the poor bastard.

Martial Arts partnered kids up and actual had some fighting. Home Ec has kittens for mascots, and one has a sword. If anybody brings this up in a weapons ban argument, I will personally headbutt you, screwhead.

History of the Ancient World and East Asian History both had essays due today. Good job working them kids hard, Abe.

Mental Disorders were the topic of the day in Abnormal Psychology. I personally am a big fan of nymphomania, Ha!

Today had the first Independay Study Course meeting. Somebody have a clue what exactly they're studying? Independance? Anyone? Bueller?

Look out, Rory Gilmore. Zaphod's Fashion Class is out to design you a sidekick outfit. Given their previous assignment involved space bondage pirates, I hope you feel comfortable in latex and chains. Ooooh, and a whip too. Hear that kids? The King is giving you real good help for your projects... write it down, knuckleheads!

Blah Blah... Quantum Physics talked about innocent bystanders of Time Travel, and Journalism covered elections. There. That boring crap is done and out of the way.

And now the final part of my broadcast tonight...

::trumpet fanfare, and then loud blender whirring, followed by a squelchy splat::

"I'd Drink That For A Dollar!"

Here it is, our very special section of all the random crap that doesn't fit anywhere else, slammed and blended together for your ease of consumption.

The Swedish Chef continues to cook in the cafeteria, and is now endorsing Draco Malfoy for president.

Julian Sark is Missing, Presumed lost in Special Collections. This news item? Boring, presumed a waste of air time. ::sound of toilet flushing::

Kiki sleeps around... in the common rooms, ha! Had you perverted screwheads fooled for a second, didn't I?

Shep responded to Kawalsky's Sandwich Board announcement. Apparently the knucklehead thinks writing signs on Beka Valentine's door about Cally will get him a date. How thick is this kid?

Speaking of thick, Cameron Mitchell spent some time in the gym with Aeryn Sun. You know, the girl who looks exactly like his girlfriend who's dating the guy who looks exactly like him. Seriously, I'm just gonna tackle you kids some day and tattoo your names on your foreheads.

On the subject of tattoos, a bunch of wusses showed up at Red's Tattoo parlor for some henna tats. Come on, grow a pair and get a real one, honestly.

Well, that's all the news that they saw fit to throw on my desk here... If you did something you thought was so very special and it didn't get announced? Cry about it, knucklehead. The King makes the rules around here, at least on these nights.

Any naked female is welcome in my cabin at the Falcon in ten minutes. This is DJ Ash, signing off...

::whirring beeping sound of Pac-Man Dying::
[identity profile] names-ash.livejournal.com
Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! This is Fandom High's premiere Pirate Radio Station, and I'm DJ Ash for your Thursday Night ruling your airwaves with an iron fist!

::sound of elephants trumpeting, followed by an explosion, then a hearty Ash laugh::

First up, here's a little segment that I like to call:

::sounds of kissing, and some excited shouts of "Yes!"::

"Give Me Sugar, Baby!"

Looks like Marty got himself a new girlfriend. Alright, maybe the little jockstrap wants to call it a pet, but you gotta wonder about anyone who wants to keep livestock in their room!

Apparently Crichton Hearts Aeryn. Well isn't that a lovely bunch of chocolate covered rainbow puppies. On a side note, Kawalsky will do anything for the right payment... any of you sad lonely girls unable to find a date might just be able to buy one.

Cameron Mitchell somehow pulled a date with Vala. And the dumb lug doesn't even know what to do with her... Hey, Vala, when this knucklehead strikes out, you can come over to the Falcon and Hail to the King, baby...

What's this... ::sound of shuffling papers:: Uhhh, Jack Harkness gets Julian Sark to be his homecoming date. Okay knuckleheads, no. That's called going stag together. You can't get dates with real girls and have to settle for each other? The King has deigned you Knights of the PWN3D table, you ninnies.

God, this romance stuff cracks me up... Lee Adama tries to set up Lilly with Archie? Seriously... When you're setting someone up with your girly long-haired twin, consult them first! ::laughter::

Oh, and for those of you who're too chicken to ask out your homecoming date? Chaucer's is offering poetry services for that very use.
Now this is more up my alley... Pandora's Box opened up shop in town today, offering a wide variety of whatever perverted paraphernalia you kids need for your twisted little fantasies. Just remember guys, when you make your special someone hail to your little king, make sure he's properly ponchoed!

Alright... moving on to our next segment...

::sound of School Bell, followed by snoring::

"Academics and the Suckers Who Actually Go To Class"

Jareth's Magic Class covered dreams today. To quote my report... "batshit insane dreams". Ha! And you probably signed up wanting to pull rabbits out of hats, screwheads!

The Tick's Criminal Justice Class was all about battlecries today. Personally, I'm a big fan of "Come get some", but that's just me. Oh, and there was something about extra credit kittens. I'm not sure if you have to give him one, or eat one, or take a picture, but the opportunity is there, blunderheads.

Spider Jerusalem wasn't in Journalism Today. An assistant took care of business and tried to organize them to... Aw, who am I kidding. BO-RING. ::sound of toilet flushing.

Biology with Sara Sidle suffered an exam, of the surprise variety. Seriously, if any of you monkeys willingly allowed yourselves to enroll in a class under her, you deserve all the pain and suffering you get. Don't be crying to the King about anything the Queen of Ice did to you...

The Question was "What is a Civilization", in History of the Ancient World. The Answer isn't "Forty-Two", knuckleheads.

Some rapid fire reports, here: Speech Class let out early, Quantum Physics discussed historical events to witness, Home Ec talks about proper flossing, Quiz in Criminology, And we had a total no show in both East Asian History and Lifestyles.

We've also got reports that Abnormal Psychology has finally begun classes, Language class has everyone talking about being a cat, and Starting a Small Business started group work.

On a final note, Daniel Jackson gets kissed during his Anthropology Class, by a girl who's not even enrolled in the class. Come on baby, if you're giving out the sugar to that dorkwad, stop by Wrestling Club tomorrow to see what a real King can do.

And now the final part of my broadcast tonight...

::trumpet fanfare, and then loud blender whirring, followed by a squelchy splat::

"I'd Drink That For A Dollar!"

Here it is, our very special section of all the random crap that doesn't fit anywhere else, slammed and blended together for your ease of consumption.

That funny talking guy still works in the cafeteria. He's lived more than one day, which means either everyone who eats there is too sick to lynch him, or he's actually made the food edible... I'm sure [livejournal.com profile] joan_not_jane'll have a pool on which it is before next week, that devious little minx.

The Librarian listens to Queen. Somehow that's newsworthy enough to be on my desk. And note, he listens to Queen and not is a Queen, knuckleheads. Don't go confusing the two.

Some girl named George thinks the school is weird. Three words, George. No. Freaking. D'uh.

Edward Elric has... moving, escaping, books. Kid, if I find out any of those are bound in human skin and has pages inked in blood, you're gonna find yourself in detention for a year.

Alright, a couple more rapid fire notes for you kids: The Cuddy/Weir campaign had a big meeting, Callisto got a brand removed at Red's Parlor, Jayne Cobb finally went home to Sheldon Sand's, and Angela shot Marty in the ass at the firing range. Good one, Angela. Way to screw things up for those of us wanting weapons reinstated. My Remington's getting awfully sad staying home alone while I'm out during the day.

Cally's Homecoming Queen Campaign kicked off today with some bright orange posters... That baby's got my vote on cuteness alone. There's a Plague going around, so make sure to discuss your bill of health and full sexual histories before any hanky-panky, kiddos. Oh, and it looks like a bank opened. Whoop-de-freaking do.

Spike's Pub saw some action, and so did the Homecoming Committee. Some Lawyer girl stopped by the police station, and Cally had a nice time at the Perkolator.

John Crichton has the worst note-taking skills ever. We have unconfirmed reports that somehow this leads to him seeing boobies. Seriously, how does this work, kids? I haven't gotten any sugar since moving here, and this screwhead gets a free show because he makes stupid notes? The King is saddened.

Jake found himself a coffee plant. There's an 80's theme slumber party tomorrow. Krycek dropped by the Falcon again, that glorious bastard.

Well, that's all the news that they saw fit to throw on my desk here... If you did something you thought was so very special and it didn't get announced? Cry about it, knucklehead. The King makes the rules around here, at least on these nights.

If any babies wanna give me some sweet sugar, meet me outside the Falcon in ten minutes, So decrees the King. This is DJ Ash, signing off.

::whirring beeping sound of Pac-Man Dying::

[ooc: Note, this broadcast is full on Shock-Jock Ash. He may be slightly offensive, but hopefully in a humorous way, and not a malicious way. Ash's feelings do not necessarily reflect those of the player, so please don't hate me. And the code hopefully all works. [livejournal.com profile] likeguidelines is a freaking saint to do this most days. My brain is now soft melty-goo in my skull.]
[identity profile] names-ash.livejournal.com
Alright you primitive screwheads, listen up! This is Fandom High's premiere Pirate Radio Station, and I'm DJ Ash for your Thursday Night ruling your airwaves with an iron fist!

::sound of elephants trumpeting, followed by an explosion, then a hearty Ash laugh::

First up, here's a little segment that I like to call:

::sounds of kissing, and some excited shouts of "Yes!"::

"Give Me Sugar, Baby!"

Looks like Marty got himself a new girlfriend. Alright, maybe the little jockstrap wants to call it a pet, but you gotta wonder about anyone who wants to keep livestock in their room!

Apparently Crichton Hearts Aeryn. Well isn't that a lovely bunch of chocolate covered rainbow puppies. On a side note, Kawalsky will do anything for the right payment... any of you sad lonely girls unable to find a date might just be able to buy one.

Cameron Mitchell somehow pulled a date with Vala. And the dumb lug doesn't even know what to do with her... Hey, Vala, when this knucklehead strikes out, you can come over to the Falcon and Hail to the King, baby...

What's this... ::sound of shuffling papers:: Uhhh, Jack Harkness gets Julian Sark to be his homecoming date. Okay knuckleheads, no. That's called going stag together. You can't get dates with real girls and have to settle for each other? The King has deigned you Knights of the PWN3D table, you ninnies.

God, this romance stuff cracks me up... Lee Adama tries to set up Lilly with Archie? Seriously... When you're setting someone up with your girly long-haired twin, consult them first! ::laughter::

Oh, and for those of you who're too chicken to ask out your homecoming date? Chaucer's is offering poetry services for that very use.
Now this is more up my alley... Pandora's Box opened up shop in town today, offering a wide variety of whatever perverted paraphernalia you kids need for your twisted little fantasies. Just remember guys, when you make your special someone hail to your little king, make sure he's properly ponchoed!

Alright... moving on to our next segment...

::sound of School Bell, followed by snoring::

"Academics and the Suckers Who Actually Go To Class"

Jareth's Magic Class covered dreams today. To quote my report... "batshit insane dreams". Ha! And you probably signed up wanting to pull rabbits out of hats, screwheads!

The Tick's Criminal Justice Class was all about battlecries today. Personally, I'm a big fan of "Come get some", but that's just me. Oh, and there was something about extra credit kittens. I'm not sure if you have to give him one, or eat one, or take a picture, but the opportunity is there, blunderheads.

Spider Jerusalem wasn't in Journalism Today. An assistant took care of business and tried to organize them to... Aw, who am I kidding. BO-RING. ::sound of toilet flushing.

Biology with Sara Sidle suffered an exam, of the surprise variety. Seriously, if any of you monkeys willingly allowed yourselves to enroll in a class under her, you deserve all the pain and suffering you get. Don't be crying to the King about anything the Queen of Ice did to you...

The Question was "What is a Civilization", in History of the Ancient World. The Answer isn't "Forty-Two", knuckleheads.

Some rapid fire reports, here: Speech Class let out early, Quantum Physics discussed historical events to witness, Home Ec talks about proper flossing, Quiz in Criminology, And we had a total no show in both East Asian History and Lifestyles.

We've also got reports that Abnormal Psychology has finally begun classes, Language class has everyone talking about being a cat, and Starting a Small Business started group work.

On a final note, Daniel Jackson gets kissed during his Anthropology Class, by a girl who's not even enrolled in the class. Come on baby, if you're giving out the sugar to that dorkwad, stop by Wrestling Club tomorrow to see what a real King can do.

And now the final part of my broadcast tonight...

::trumpet fanfare, and then loud blender whirring, followed by a squelchy splat::

"I'd Drink That For A Dollar!"

Here it is, our very special section of all the random crap that doesn't fit anywhere else, slammed and blended together for your ease of consumption.

That funny talking guy still works in the cafeteria. He's lived more than one day, which means either everyone who eats there is too sick to lynch him, or he's actually made the food edible... I'm sure [livejournal.com profile] joan_not_jane'll have a pool on which it is before next week, that devious little minx.

The Librarian listens to Queen. Somehow that's newsworthy enough to be on my desk. And note, he listens to Queen and not is a Queen, knuckleheads. Don't go confusing the two.

Some girl named George thinks the school is weird. Three words, George. No. Freaking. D'uh.

Edward Elric has... moving, escaping, books. Kid, if I find out any of those are bound in human skin and has pages inked in blood, you're gonna find yourself in detention for a year.

Alright, a couple more rapid fire notes for you kids: The Cuddy/Weir campaign had a big meeting, Callisto got a brand removed at Red's Parlor, Jayne Cobb finally went home to Sheldon Sand's, and Angela shot Marty in the ass at the firing range. Good one, Angela. Way to screw things up for those of us wanting weapons reinstated. My Remington's getting awfully sad staying home alone while I'm out during the day.

Cally's Homecoming Queen Campaign kicked off today with some bright orange posters... That baby's got my vote on cuteness alone. There's a Plague going around, so make sure to discuss your bill of health and full sexual histories before any hanky-panky, kiddos. Oh, and it looks like a bank opened. Whoop-de-freaking do.

Spike's Pub saw some action, and so did the Homecoming Committee. Some Lawyer girl stopped by the police station, and Cally had a nice time at the Perkolator.

John Crichton has the worst note-taking skills ever. We have unconfirmed reports that somehow this leads to him seeing boobies. Seriously, how does this work, kids? I haven't gotten any sugar since moving here, and this screwhead gets a free show because he makes stupid notes? The King is saddened.

Jake found himself a coffee plant. There's an 80's theme slumber party tomorrow. Krycek dropped by the Falcon again, that glorious bastard.

Well, that's all the news that they saw fit to throw on my desk here... If you did something you thought was so very special and it didn't get announced? Cry about it, knucklehead. The King makes the rules around here, at least on these nights.

If any babies wanna give me some sweet sugar, meet me outside the Falcon in ten minutes, So decrees the King. This is DJ Ash, signing off.

::whirring beeping sound of Pac-Man Dying::

[ooc: Note, this broadcast is full on Shock-Jock Ash. He may be slightly offensive, but hopefully in a humorous way, and not a malicious way. Ash's feelings do not necessarily reflect those of the player, so please don't hate me. And the code hopefully all works. [livejournal.com profile] likeguidelines is a freaking saint to do this most days. My brain is now soft melty-goo in my skull.]

Fandom High RPG



About the Game

---       Master Game Index
---       Thinking of Joining?
---       Application Information
---       Existing Character Directory

In-Character Comms

School and Grounds
---       Fandom High School
---       Staff Lounge
---       TA Lounge
---       Student Dorms

Around the Island
---       Fandom Town
---       Fandom Clinic

Communications
---       Radio News Recaps
---       Student Newspaper
---       IC Social Media Posts

Off-Island Travel
---       FH Trips

Once Upon a Time...
---       FH Wishverse AU


Out-of-Character Comms

---       Main OOC Comm
---       Plot Development
---       OOC-but-IC Fun





Disclaimer

Fandom High is a not-for-profit text-based game/group writing exercise, featuring fictional characters and settings from a variety of creators, used without permission but for entertainment purposes only.

Tags